I find your lack of celebrating Star Wars disturbing. I’m kidding, but today is the best day to celebrate Star Wars, because it’s 4th May, or for my North American friends, May 4th, Star Wars Day! Once more, we can revel in the adventures of our favourite characters, set a long time ago, in a galaxy, far, far away.
You could be a fan of Star Wars movies, television shows, books, toys, comics, video games, cosplay, board games, and everything in between, but today’s the day you can wear your Star Wars t-shirt with pride. To be honest, you could treat every day like Star Wars Day if you really wanted to.
Credit: Disney
May The 4th Be With You has taken on new meaning this year, because only a few weeks from now, Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu opens in cinemas, as well as new TV shows, books, and comics to be consumed. One day, I’ll get Disney +, so I’ll be able to catch up on all the television shows. Again, maybe.
I’m still waiting for the last five Star Wars: The High Republic books to arrive at our local book shop, so that will keep me off the dark and cold streets when I finally get to read them.
Credit: Dark Horse Comics, now Marvel. I’m not sure!
I’ve mentioned this before, but Star Wars is quite big in our house. My wife and UMC1 enjoy the vehicles, UMC2 is all about the droids, and as for me, I love the aliens. Star Wars has been a massive part of my life, especially now with boxes of Marvel (Canon) and Dark Horse (Non-canon or Legends) Star Wars comics. I could bore with a retelling of my love for Star Wars comics, but I’ll save that for another day.
We also play Star Wars: Risk on Star Wars Day, but only if it lands on the weekend, purely because the game takes hours. It usually ends up with UMC1 (The Rebels) teaming up with UMC2 (The Hutts), against The Empire (me). Oh, the fun and the arguments, I love it.
Anyway, it’s rare for Star Wars Day to fall on a Monday, because this is blog day for me. However, I always release a Star Wars blog post on 4th May, and this year is no different.
So, whatever kind of fan you are, and whatever kind of activity you do today, I hope this Star Wars Day is the one you’re looking for. This is short and sharp this week, but I’ll be returning to Star Wars very soon, for my Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu Preview blog post. Two geek events in three days, it’s great to be a geek. Enjoy today, and I’ll see you on Friday for yet another special blog post.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to arguably the apex event on a geek’s calendar. Yes, it’s Free Comic Book Day, but also the very first edition of Comics Giveaway Day as well. If you’re scratching your head over what that means, then your friendly neighbourhood geek is here to explain it! To understand the unique position we are in, please read this blog post about the situation. Be warned, though, the author is an idiot.
Credit: Diamond Comic Distributors and Penguin Random House
I have said this before, but today’s the day that geek culture gets to celebrate…geek culture. It’s the day where comic book stores give away, wait for it…free comic books! It also celebrates TV shows, movies, video games, cosplaying, and just about anything else that is geek-related!
Credit: Popverse
Whether an event is staged at your local comic book store, library or school, check them out, because there will be something for everybody! There are over 45 free comic books to choose from, and since every store is different, you could walk away with 1-3 free comic books, but every store has different rules.
This event is always held on the first Saturday in May, and even with the rival Comic Giveaway Day running parallel to it, all of the comics will have age-appropriate logos: All ages (green logo), Teen (blue or orange logo), and Mature (red logo), which can be identified on the covers.
Credit: Diamond Comic Distributors and Penguin Random House
While you’re at the comic book store, please also purchase something, because even though the comic books are free to us, the retailer pays about $0.10 and $0.50 per issue. Basically, it costs them money to run FCBD and CGD events, so please, please support them.
Even though it’s a global event that’s been running since 2002, every year, the number of comic book stores being involved is decreasing because of the financial burden that comes with it. So, if you are passionate about your geek interests and are planning on visiting an event at a comic book store, please purchase something as well as receiving your free comic books.
Credit: Popverse
The closest physical comic book store is about 140 minutes away from where I live, so I won’t be going, but I have a list of titles that I’ll be interested in receiving via the post. Maybe.
I love Free Comic Book Day, and hopefully you will have a great time, so enjoy your day and your free comic books!
Also, dear readers, I would like to acknowledge the death of Gerry Conway, the prolific writer, who dabbled in screenplays as well as writing comic books. He died on 27th April, aged 73 years old. His career spanned decades, and he created and co-created many heroes and villains across the industry, including:
Killer Frost, Tarantula, Atomic Skull, Jackal, The Punisher, Man-Thing, Ben Reilly, Power Girl, Tombstone, Killer Croc, Demogoblin, Ms Marvel, Secret Society of Super Villains, Jason Todd, Vibe, Vixen, and one of my favourites growing up, Firestorm.
He also worked on G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero and Transformers as a screenwriter, but also wrote Batman, Amazing Spider-Man, Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes, The Incredible Hulk, Justice League of America, Thor, Legion of Super-Heroes, and many more.
Gerry Conway speaking at the 2019 Phoenix Fan Fusion in Phoenix, Arizona. Credit: Gage Skidmore
Conway also wrote the famous issues, The Amazing Spider-ManVol 1#121–122 (released in 1973), which, to the untrained mind, features the death of Gwen Stacy; one of the biggest deaths in superhero comics, as well as the first crossover between DC and Marvel; Superman vs. The Amazing Spider-Man: The Battle of the Century, released in 1976. These storylines are seared onto my subconscious.
From the bottom of my geek-laden heart and soul, thank you so much, Gerry, for your amazing work.
And with that, I’ll see you on Monday because we are visiting a galaxy, far, far away.
This title sounds awful, but I have my wife’s permission to write about this. To take a step back, I have written several blog posts about my wife, particularly on the topic of reading, so the idea of me doing this is not new. See here for a reference.
For a condensed version, my wife enjoys reading, but usually only a series she already owns and has read multiple times.
She generally only starts a new series if all of the books have been published; therefore, the story has finished. She likes to read Book one of a series, and work her way through them, until she reaches the final book. She does this by reading them one after another, either through the library or from her own collection. In her mind, reading 3-4 books in a row of a particular series is like reading one very long book.
If she likes a certain series enough after reading them through the library, she will buy them second-hand to complete the set. She often rereads a great deal of content—I’m talking about a significant amount. Some of the series she has deemed worthy of her collection include the Twilight saga, the Harry Potter series, the Fifty Shades of Grey saga, and The Hunger Games series, among others.
This makes her cautious to branch out and try an unknown series, because what would happen if she tried a new book and she didn’t like it? She would have wasted her time, so it’s easier to stick with books and characters that she knows and loves; but also, a completed series has a beginning and an end, so she doesn’t need to wait for future instalments.
This is also because, and this is important, my wife hates waiting for things, as she can be very impatient. Seriously, you don’t know what it’s like. We once read the Image comic series, Saga, together, but she gave up reading it, because…can you guess? Yes, she had to wait a whole month for a new issue, which was far too long for her, let alone when the creative teams went on their 6-18 month hiatus. She didn’t cope well with that.
Ultimately, she would make a terrible comic book reader, as she only wants to read a story that is finished, so waiting a whole month, just so you could read the next chapter, was torture for her. With me so far? Great. So here is where my wife is showing some growth and development. I’m not entirely sure how it happened, but I believe it’s because her friend works at a local book shop and would recommend various book series.
Enter a new genre, at least to me: fairy smut and or fantasy smut. Upon advice from her friend, my wife stepped out of her comfort zone of beloved books and tried a new series, from scratch. She started reading a new series, The Plated Prisoner, but it was still a completed series, with all six books already published. To my amazement, she started looking for more series in that genre, but only completed series. It’s so important to remember that point.
This had led her to devour various completed series in the genre, as well as giving me a detailed update on each story, when I’ve been stupid enough to ask. She’ll describe some physically impossible sex scenes and positions, but since these characters have magical abilities, nothing is off the table. Or on the table, under it, against the wall, flying, and the list goes on.
Books containing plots where sex is a major driving force in the story aren’t something that I look for. I mean, the book with the greatest amount of sex that I have actually read could be The Time Traveler’s Wife, Brave New World, or anything about Greek Mythology, like Mythos.
I don’t know how to interpret that. Is that a positive or negative thing? Am I normal or abnormal? Though, to be fair, what is normal? Whatever it is, I’m properly not it.
Now, here, my wife’s reading habits can relate to mine, to a point. Reading One-Punch Man opened my eyes to the world of manga, and my bookshelf has never been the same. The same can be said with my wife and The Plated Prisoner, because after that series, the veil has been lifted, and she’s reading other completed series now, which are fairy smut or fantasy smut related.
Her reading habits have changed so much that it’s now hilarious to see what she’s become.
She now tries new series, not stand-alone books, of course, that’s just crazy. However, these series have a catch: some of them are incomplete, as in, they are not finished. There are still more books to be published in the different series, and she has now become someone she tried in vain to avoid, but fate had a plan for her. My impatient wife now has to wait for books to be published and released, and the consequences of this are far too funny to describe.
She has preordered certain books from the local book shop and checks in once a week, just in case her books have arrived. She follows particular authors on Instagram and Facebook for updates, as well as receiving monthly newsletters from the publishers, in a desperate attempt to gain new information about future books. She has even taken to making requests through the library to persuade them to purchase the upcoming books, just to get her hands on them faster.
She has multiple series on the go now, and my support and empathy for her can only go so far. When a much-anticipated book finally arrives, she is stoked and so happy, and I’m happy for her. In saying that, when she discovers a book from a series that will be released in 2027 or even 2028, she does not take the news well. When this happens, I play the nice and supportive role of her loving spouse, but internally, I’m doing everything I can, not to laugh.
She usually goes through the five stages of grief when receiving bad news about the publication of her desired upcoming books.
The first stage is that she will deny the information as real, believing the publishers have just gotten the titles confused. It couldn’t possibly be my title they are discussing!It can’t be coming out in 2027, it’s not true!
Anger is the second stage. She’ll point out that she can’t wait that long, and that she wishes she had never started reading that series in the first place. She may suggest that the series wasn’t that great to begin with.
The next stage is all about bargaining. This takes the form of rereading all of the current series, several times, as well as any spin-offs and prequels, before the new book is released.
Depression sets in now, when the publication date has been worked out in years, months, weeks, or days. She will mention how old she’ll be when she gets to read it, in addition to the ages of the boys, for some unknown reason.
This, of course, brings us to acceptance, where she knows that nothing that she can do, absolutely nothing, will alter the timeline of the publication of the book.
As a monthly comic book reader, I understand that delays can happen for various reasons. However, the common practice seen with titles like Saga, where creators go on hiatus to regroup, teaches you patience. Additionally, I can’t help but be frustrated by the release schedules for manga titles, but that’s life.
But considering that, I’m the Patron Saint of Patience compared to my impatient wife.
And that’s it for another week. Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, and go and watch some of the Women’s Six Nations Championship. I’ll see you at the weekend for a rare Saturday post. See you then.
Since this beautiful planet has an axial tilt of about 23.5°, the Northern Hemisphere is currently roughly halfway through Spring. In contrast, in the Southern Hemisphere, we are in the middle of autumn, and it’s really starting to show. The winter pyjamas and slippers have come out, but we haven’t lit the fire; yet. It will happen, you can count on it.
There’s something else you can count on: the Artemis II mission upsetting our favourite conspiracy theorists: the Flat Earthers, and their wayward siblings, Space deniers. I know the last few weeks have been chaotic, with Eastern European elections, AI Trump/Jesus images, cyclones, blockades getting blocked, and of course, conspiracy theorists becoming very upset. The last time we discussed Flat Earthers, it was concerning the Midnight Sun, but they brushed that off like Daredevil brushes off the Hand.
Just to briefly clarify and to make sure we are all on the same page, Artemis II refers to the second mission of the Artemis lunar program, and its first crewed mission. The four astronauts orbited the Moon, which was the first time humans have done this since 1972, with the Apollo 17 mission.
Their flyby of the Moon resulted in the astronauts setting the record for the greatest distance humans have been away from Earth, at a distance of 406,771 km, which broke the previous record set by Apollo 13 in 1970, of 400,171 km. That was a quick outline of it, but you get the idea.
So, you can imagine that the launch of Artemis II has ruffled the delightful feathers that Flat Earthers and Space deniers wear in their tin foil hats. Call it tantrums or meltdowns, call it desperation, call it mental gymnastics, but the people who believe that space is a hoax, coupled with the ones who believe the Earth is flat, are having a very hard time defending their theories; but at the same time, they are trying to tear the Artemis II mission apart.
Why are they doing this? At least to me, it comes down to various points. It could be that the job of promoting Flat Earth and Space disbelief is a lucrative one, so they need to keep doing it; it’s how they make a living.
Another idea is that they believe they are helping the public to see the truth, because they are honestly trying to look out for people. They don’t like the idea of governments and companies lying to the public, so they believe they are helping us, by exposing the lies.
And finally, they believe they are special because they think they have discovered a truth about the world, and in their eyes, it makes them smarter than all of the experts.
It could be all of them combined, or none of them. Regardless of the true situation, Flat Earthers and Space deniers are not happy, and I feel like a terrible person reading their statements and watching their videos, struggling in vain to prove that their conspiracy theories are still valid and real. In some ways, I do feel sorry for them, but, as I said before, I also feel terrible that I’m finding it entertaining.
Credit: Vice Magazine
Their problems with the Artemis II mission vary because this mission has also drawn out the Moon Landing deniers, as well, to nobody’s surprise. I swear, like Avatar: The Last Airbender is a gateway drug into anime, Flat Earth is the gateway drug into wider conspiracy theories.
Overall, the evidence provided by conspiracy theorists who have criticised or incorrectly debunked the Artemis II mission includes, but is not limited to:
Creating AI images of the Moon to pass off as real images taken by the Artemis II crew.
Complaining that Artemis II’s launch was at the wrong angle, therefore it’s fake.
Creating AI images of the crew in front of a green screen to prove it’s fake.
Talking about the number of edits of the launch, which is supposedly happening live.
The capsule is too small to house four people for 10 days.
The public filmed the astronauts standing outside a building with their phones, but the astronauts were not on the screen.
Creating footage of Artemis II filming some type of vehicle moving on the Moon’s surface, to prove it’s fake.
Insisting it was a meta-joke, that Artemis II launched on 1st April, April Fool’s Day.
Claiming any glitches in transmission signals proves that the footage is fake.
Passing off previous images of the Moon as proof that NASA is reproducing Artemis II’s images.
And one of the best excuses was that Artemis II was a balloon.
The launch proves a Flat Earth, because the rocket did not keep going straight up; it curved, otherwise it would have hit the dome.
Of course, some of these insane statements clash and contradict each other, but let’s not let a silly thing like reality get in the way of a good conspiracy theory.
I’m not stunned by the quantity of conspiracy theorists moaning and complaining about Artemis II; it’s rather the quality of their shenanigans, mainly through the use of AI. These images, which have been passed off as real, are of such high quality that the media have had to push back on them and correct the disinformation.
That is scary as hell, but at least there is pushback on the “AI slop”; otherwise, we would believe it. Though, to be fair, I think that’s the conspiracy theorists’ point, not to trust anything. The AI images are so convincing that anybody could be fooled by them.
I have found some videos of various people pushing back against the conspiracy theorists, because it needs to be done. I have mentioned him before, but SciMan Dan has made a few videos concerning their Artemis II nonsense, among others like Creaky Binder and Dave McKeegan.
Before I go on, I need to mention that Sciman Dan also reacted to my favourite Flat Earther, CC from New York, Westchester County, and his work van. In my humble opinion, he’s my favourite conspiracy theorist, not because he brings well-thought-out ideas that are logical and researched, but rather because of the opposite. He’s a buffoon, a lovable buffoon, with no evidence to back up anything he says. Also, I think he’s the angriest man on the internet.
So, with that in mind, enjoy some of the best and worst humanity has to offer.
Sadly, there’s so much more, but you get the point. My family loved watching the launch, but also tracking the mission, ogling at the footage and images, and watching the splashdown live. Artemis II was amazing, and it clears the path for Artemis III, which is tentatively planned for mid-2027, where humans will once more walk on the Moon.
If the Midnight Sun or Artemis II haven’t broken the Flat Earth/Space Deniers/Moon Landing disbelievers, then Artemis III will break their minds, bodies, and souls; physically, mentally, and emotionally. That should be entertaining. Did you follow the Artemis II mission? What was your favourite moment from the mission, or the funniest conspiracy theory about it? As always, please let me know.
The clock has struck again, and the veil of sleep is descending, so it is time to visit the Dreaming. Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, try not to shed a tear for Viktor Orbán, and I’ll see you next week to discuss my wife’s reading habits. Sound interesting, doesn’t it?
There once was a man named Scott, He thought he was funny, but he was not. He wrote a blog, It stunk like a bog, Because he had the writing IQ of snot.
Just when you thought it was safe to venture online, actually, it’s not very safe, isn’t it? Thanks, Mark and Elon. Anyway, as much as I would love to discuss the world at the moment, I’m not. Why am I not going to do this? Easy, there is something more important, dear reader!
The history project that Philomena Cunk would want nothing to do with is back! Put the baby to bed, turn the jug on, put your feet up, and get ready to be bored, because Some Geek Told Me’s We Didn’t Start the Fire has returned.
I know, this is the gift that keeps on giving, yet here we are again. For previous entries, please check out the following list:
When we last left the song, we were well into the seventh verse, having just finished with 1961. So, logic and Spock would be correct, because we are going to look at 1962, which only has five references. So, shall we begin?
Credit: A.M.P.
Lawrence of Arabia
Back in the 1957 entry, we discussed the movie, The Bridge on the River Kwai. That film was directed by David Lean, and wouldn’t you know it, he’s got another reference in the song. Lean directed Lawrence of Arabia, and itwas released in 1962, which was based on the 1926 autobiography, Seven Pillars of Wisdom, by T.E (Thomas Edward) Lawrence.
The film had a budget of $15 million, but earned $70 million at the box office; Lawrence of Arabia was the highest-grossing movie of 1962. It went on to earn ten Academy Awards nominations in 1963, and won seven, as well as four BAFTA Awards and six Golden Globes. Like The Bridge on the River Kwai, Lawrence of Arabia is considered one of the greatest films ever made. I’ve been lucky enough to have seen it, and it’s a film that lives up to its hype.
We have discussed various modern movie equivalents in the past, so instead of revisiting those films, I want to take a different approach. Since Lawrence of Arabia won seven Academy Awards, I thought it would be interesting to list modern films that have also achieved this feat. The films that have won seven Academy Awards include: Dances with Wolves (1990), Schindler’s List (1993), Shakespeare in Love (1998), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), and Oppenheimer (2023).
British Beatlemania
I’ll tell you this for nothing: you don’t need to have worked on the Artemis II mission to understand that British Beatlemania is a 1962 documentary by Sir David Attenborough. The documentary…no, I can’t do this.
British Beatlemania refers to the British band, The Beatles and their rise to fame and popularity around the United Kingdom, the United States of America, and the world. They were part of what people would eventually call “The British Invasion”, which was the influx of British music “invading” radio stations, television shows, concerts and the record charts in the United States.
They made the list because songs such as Love Me Do, P.S. I Love You, and Please Please Me, helped kick-start Beatlemania. The crux of Beatlemania, at least to me, was having millions of people, mostly women, going crazy over the Beatles’ music, as well as the band members themselves, to the level of obsession or fanaticism. This was obviously aided by the mass media.
The Beatles had broken up before I was born, but I’ve seen footage and read stories about the craziness. My parents played a lot of Beatles’ music at home, so I get it. Some contemporary examples are Swifties (Taylor Swift) and Little Monsters (Lady Gaga), but one aspect of the Beatles’ legacy is that they are considered one of, if not the most popular and successful band ever, in part due to Beatlemania.
Ringo Starr, George Harrison, John Lennon and Paul McCartney of The Beatles. Credit: Harry Hammond/V&A Images/Getty Images
Ole Miss
Ole Miss would be a great name for a horse, and maybe somewhere on the planet, that horse exists; however, this entry is not about them, but it has a connection to another name in the song. Back in 1957, via the fifth verse, we had the name, Little Rock. If you remember it, great stuff; if not, I’ll give you time to read about it now.
Sorted, you’re good to go? Excellent! Like Little Rock, Ole Miss was another flashpoint in the history of race relations in the United States. Ole Miss has a few different meanings, but in context to the song, it refers to the nickname of the University of Mississippi, located in Oxford, Mississippi, and its race riot in 1962.
I’m not sure if I can do this event justice, but I’ll try. James Meredith, an African-American U.S. Air Force veteran, had enrolled at the University of Mississippi, and when it was discovered that he was not the white man they thought him to be, shit hit the fan, with the university officials, but also the Mississippi Governor, Ross Barnett. At the time, the University of Mississippi was an all-white university.
In an attempt to deny him entry to the university, Meredith was temporarily jailed, then released, with Barnett barring him from attending the university. President Kennedy and Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy got involved to find a way forward without violence, and allow Meredith to attend. Obviously, this incident, like nearly all of them, got out of hand.
Between 30th September and 1st October, a riot broke out on the campus involving federal law enforcement and a mob, consisting of segregationists, white supremacists, and some students. The aftermath of the riot included hijacked vehicles, destruction of buildings, and over 300 people were injured, including 28 U.S. Marshals being shot, as well as two civilians were killed. The next day, President Kennedy sent in over 30,000 troops to keep the peace and ensure Meredith could attend the university, with federal protection.
Meredith went on to graduate with a political science degree. So how does this event relate to the world of 2026? Well, how can it not? Yes, I’m not an American, but the evidence is plain to see. What the Little Rock incident did for the desegregation of high schools, the Ole Miss riot helped to bring about much-needed social reforms in universities within the United States.
Meredith, center with briefcase, is escorted to the University of Mississippi campus by U.S. marshals on Oct. 1, 1962. Credit: Associated Press
John Glenn
John Glenn was a politician, wartime pilot, test pilot, and astronaut. As you remember from previous entries, 1962 was at the height of the Cold War, but most importantly, the space race had started between the United States and the Soviet Union. Glenn was one of the seven astronauts chosen to fly spacecrafts for Project Mercury. These astronauts are known as the Mercury Seven.
He was included in the song because on 20th February 1962, he became the first American to orbit Earth, but he was not the first American in space. That honour belonged to Alan Shepard in 1961. Facts matter, folks, facts matter.
Anyway, Glenn completed three orbits of Earth, flying the Friendship 7 spacecraft for the Mercury-Atlas 6 mission. He completed three orbits in roughly 5 hours, 55 minutes, at speeds of over 28,000 km/ph.
A modern equivalent for a single astronaut achieving something new is sort of difficult, considering the huge advancements in space technology and flight. Instead of this, I could put forward the recent successful Artemis II mission, which is the second time I have mentioned it. I hope there’s not a third.
John Glenn entering his spacecraft, Friendship 7, prior to the launch of Mercury-Atlas 6 on 20 February, 1962. Credit: NASA.
Liston beats Patterson
It’s been awhile since we discussed boxing, but like Thanos, it was inevitable. The boxers in question were Sonny Liston and Floyd Patterson, and they fought for the undisputed heavyweight world championship on 25th September 1962, at Comiskey Park, Chicago, Illinois.
This was Patterson’s second reign as champion, as he first won the title in 1956, lost it in 1959, and then reclaimed it in 1960. This, of course, made Liston the challenger. Liston was older and heavier than Patterson, but Patterson had started boxing professionally before Liston.
Depending on who you talk to, predictions for the fight were slightly in favour of Liston; it was strange that the champion was not the favourite. Anyway, the fight was memorable because after two minutes in the first round, Liston knocked Patterson out to become the new heavyweight champion of the world.
The story doesn’t end there, because Liston successfully defended his title in a rematch with Patterson in July 1963. Liston then fought to defend the title in February 1964 against Cassius Clay, but he was defeated. Clay changed his name a month later to Muhammad Ali. He then faced Liston for a second time in May 1965, and Liston lost again.
Essentially, Liston made the song for knocking out the world champion in the first round. Some contemporary examples were difficult to cite, mainly because champions continue to be knocked out, but it’s rare for it to happen in the first round in heavyweight fights.
The best I could find was on 29th October 19931, when the WBO Heavyweight Champion Tommy Morrison was knocked down three times in the first round by Michael Bentt, and lost the fight and title.
So for 1962, we covered a film, fanatic fans, a desegregation university riot, an astronaut, and a boxing match. 1963’s blog post is roughly seven weeks away, so I’d better prepare myself! If you’re still enjoying this project, as always, please let me know, because nothing happens in a vacuum.
So that’s it for this week. Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me; it means a lot. My Twitter and Mastodon accounts are still ticking over with daily information that someone may find interesting. Maybe.
Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, thank the bus driver, and if you ever repeat any of the information I write about, and someone asks you where you discovered it, just say, ‘Some Geek Told Me.‘ I’ll see you next week, when we discuss the Artemis II mission. Third time’s a charm!
To the best of my amazing and gorgeous recollection, I have only made two blog posts about flags. That being the case, and unlike Robocop 3, I wanted the third instalment to be fantastic. However, the problem is that I’m the creator, so instead of Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, it will be more like Highlander III: The Sorcerer.
I had previously discussed four countries that had changed their flags because of redesigns and name changes. I wanted to go one step further and talk about countries that no longer exist, thus their flags are no longer in use, as well as new nations and flags that have sprung up from their demise.
So, may I present to you three former failed fluttering flags. Enjoy.
Flag of the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia (1946-1992). Credit: Đorđe Andrejević-Kun & SVG
The flag of Yugoslavia, known as the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia, had been through several small tweaks over the years, since the country was formed in 1918, at the end of the First World War. The largest tweak was adding a red star in the middle of the flag, following the Second World War. This version of the flag survived from 1946 to 1992.
The dissolution of the flag is linked to Yugoslavia itself. Back in 1918, when Yugoslavia was founded, it was built by joining six states or republics to create the country. They were Macedonia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Montenegro, Serbia, and Slovenia.
The colours of the flag represented various things. The equal red, white, and blue horizonal stripes, represent the shared heritage of the Southern Slavs; the red star symbolises communism, socialism, and the fight for freedom and liberation; and finally, the gold outline of the star represents the valor of the state and prosperity.
After the fall of communism in Eastern Europe, Yugoslavia went through some massive upheaval, during which some republics wanted to have more autonomy, having declared independence. This resulted in the break-up of Yugoslavia in the early 1990s and the horrific Yugoslav Wars, which raged across the region.
Currently, seven countries have risen from the ashes of Yugoslavia: Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Kosovo, Montenegro, North Macedonia, Serbia, and Slovenia.
The failure of Yugoslavia’s flag can be attributed to the collapse of Yugoslavia itself. The country ceased to exist and was eventually divided into seven republics, each adopting its own flag. Notably, the flags of Croatia, Serbia, and Slovakia feature horizontal stripes in red, white, and blue.
Soviet Union (Union of Soviet Socialist Republics/USSR)
Flag of the Soviet Union (1955-1991) Credit: СССР
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Like the flag of Yugoslavia and many others, the flag of the Soviet Union had been altered since its inception in 1922. The name Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was exactly what you imagined it would be. The nation was a union of various republics that used communism as the driving force behind their governments. These republics totalled 15, which were spread across Eastern Europe, Western Asia, and Central Asia.
They were known as Armenia, Azerbaijan, Byelorussia, Estonia, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Kirgiziya, Latvia, Lithuania, Moldavia, Russian SFSR, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Ukraine, and Uzbekistan.
With the colours of the Soviet Union flag, the red represented revolution; the hammer (workers) and the sickle (peasants) were adopted from the Russian Revolution, representing the two factions; and the yellow star symbolised the Soviet Union’s Communist Party.
After years of turmoil and mounting pressure from internal and external forces, the dissolution of the Soviet Union occurred on 26th December 1991. The republics that had made up the Soviet Union were now free and independent again, though some of them had already gained their independence earlier.
The death of the Soviet Union allowed these republics to be reborn, which the world now knows them as: Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Estonia, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Latvia, Lithuania, Moldova, Russia, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Ukraine, and Uzbekistan, along with their own flags.
It’s interesting to note that Russia has now annexed parts of Georgia and Ukraine, in an attempt, in my humble opinion, to absorb these countries back into the fold.
Gran Colombia
Third Flag of Gran Colombia 1821–1830. Credit: Wikipedia Commons
For this entry, we are bypassing the 20th century entirely and going to hang out in the 19th century, specifically Northern South America. The country was called Gran Colombia, and it only lasted 12 years, which is three World Cup cycles, from 17th December 1819 to 19th November 1831. To explain Gran Colombia, we need to understand why it existed in the first place, which is directly related to why it failed.
At the beginning of the 19th century, the Spanish Empire controlled vast territories extending from the northernmost part of North America to the southernmost part of South America. In 1808, when Napoleon Bonaparte, not Dynamite, invaded Spain, he sparked a series of revolutions and wars of independence throughout South America.
One of the key figures at the time was Simón Bolívar, who envisioned the countries of South America breaking free from Spanish and Portuguese control and becoming a unified South America. Part of this vision included the creation of Gran Colombia, where, after gaining independence from the Spanish Empire, several countries combined their powers and formed Captain Planet…I mean, Gran Colombia.
Asking countries to fight wars of independence was one thing, but asking them, after gaining a hard-fought independence, to join an even larger country, in hindsight, may not have been the best idea, even with the best of intentions. Because of restructuring and resignations, along with internal and external political and economic turmoil and pressure, Grand Colombia collapsed and was finally dissolved in 1831.
Gran Colombia had an original flag, then two redesigns, along with another proposed flag redesign, before the dissolution of the country in its short lifespan. The final flag before dissolution featured yellow, blue, and red horizontal stripes, along with a central coat of arms. The yellow represented Hispanic America, the blue portrayed the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans, while red represented Spain.
The coat-of-arms displayed two cornucopia, which were full of fruit and flowers, as these were symbols of wealth and abundance. In the centre, there is a quiver of arrows and an axe, along with a bow. The quiver has a tricolour (yellow, blue, red) ribbon tied to the bottom of it, which, to the best of my understanding, signifies union and strength. All of these items are inside an oval, which has the words, “República de Colombia,” which translates as “Republic of Colombia.”
The dissolution of Gran Colombia eventually gave South America and geography books the countries of Colombia, Venezuela, Ecuador, and Panama. As you can see in the flags below, Gran Colombia’s legacy is in the tricolours of yellow, blue, and red, along with Ecuador having a central coat of arms. I tell you, history is cool, kids. History is cool.
There are other examples, of course, but as usual, I get far too distracted to make the blog interesting. Well, to be fair, I find them to be interesting; so that could be the problem, among many. If you can think of any flag-related topics I could discuss on this famous and beloved blog, please let me know.
So that’s it. The school holidays are upon us again, which means a lot of pyjama days for UMC1 and UMC2. Yay.
Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please don’t forget to walk your dog, go read Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow, say “Thank you” to the bus driver, and I’ll see you next week, because we are going back to 1962. Yeah, baby, Billy Joel would be disgusted.
So…how is everybody doing? It’s an interesting period in human history right now, and it can seem that things could be getting out of hand. Maybe things are already out of hand. Regardless of the truth, I want to take the time to acknowledge the deaths of two people who were recently announced.
Before I do, I realise I have discussed the deaths of people on this blog before, especially people I have never met, which is somewhat awkward and strange. How do you convey your thoughts and feelings about the matter? Do we have the right to do so? I don’t know what the proper answer or response could or should be; I never have.
I have no stirring speeches about the deaths of people with influence, only that by looking and examining ourselves, we can see that humanity can still shine through in these dire times, but also, understanding and being grateful that we got to experience their gifts that they shared with the world. Because maybe, just maybe, that’s the point.
Anyway, I want to talk about Sam Kieth and Chuck Norris.
Sam Kieth died on 15th March, aged 63 years old, and from what I can understand, he died from complications from Lewy body dementia, which is a form of dementia I never knew existed, I’m sorry to say.
For those not in the know, Kieth was a comic book creator who worked with many companies, including Aftershock, Dark Horse, DC, Image, Marvel, and others. Kieth created and co-created memorable characters, including, but not limited to, Cyber, Mr Gone, Mervyn Pumpkinhead, Mad Hettie, Goldie, Zero Girl, Roderick Burgess, Azazel, and Julie Winters, along with the three most well-known: Lucifer Morningstar, The Maxx, and Dream of the Endless.
I can’t tell you what the first Sam Kieth art I saw was, but I can tell you how it made me feel. I always thought just like his characters, Kieth’s art was not conventional; it was kooky, surreal, weird, offbeat, and odd. But that’s why I felt it stood out from the crowd, and that’s why his art worked. I would see his art somewhere and think, “That looks bonkers, it must be Sam Kieth’s. I love it!”, and it usually was. I enjoyed his art and storytelling, so his talents will be missed.
Sam Kieth in 2013 at a retrospective of his work at the Cartoon Art Museum in San Francisco. His bold art aesthetic and exploration of mature themes gave an adult edge to his comic book characters. Credit: Stephen Lam
It’s difficult to believe, but Death finally found the courage to tell Chuck Norris that he was actually dead. His formal death was recorded as 19th March 2026, in Hawaii, aged 86 years. Born Switchblade Killingsworth, Norris changed his name because he believed it didn’t sound tough enough.
Norris was a famous actor, martial artist, author, and screenwriter. Walker, Texas Ranger was one of his most famous roles, along with his scene-stealing cameo in Dodgeball.
He was the most dangerous, courageous, intelligent, and lethal man in the world. Norris managed to achieve some truly mighty feats, which include:
He could delete the Recycle Bin.
He once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.
He counted to infinity. Twice.
He could slam a revolving door.
He could strangle a man with a cordless phone.
He could start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
He could divide by zero.
He could kill two stones with one bird.
He once played Russian roulette with a fully-loaded gun and won.
He would drink napalm to fight his heartburn.
He could manage to achieve a bachelor’s degree in scheduled time.
He didn’t read books. He would stare them down until he got the information he wanted.
He once beat paper, rock, and scissors, all at the same time.
He never blinked in his entire life. Never.
He could speak Braille.
He could build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
Chuck Norris did go hunting because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris went killing.
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
There are many more, but my eternal thanks go to Chuck Norris. I read books documenting his feats to UMC1 and UMC2, while they were baking in the womb. It did this for four reasons: to build a connection to them with my voice, to watch my wife suppress her laughter, to educate them on what a roundhouse kick was, and to inform my unborn children of the adventures of the world’s greatest man. Death has a Chuck Norris problem now.
Chuck Norris being Chuck Norris. Credit: Fickeringmyth
Seriously, both Sam Kieth and Chuck Norris have helped me become the geek I am today. Thank you.
This was a short blog post, so it is what it is. Thank you for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. It wouldn’t be New Zealand’s 5th least favourite website without your support.
Remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, go watch Heated Rivalry, and I’ll see you next week. Look after yourselves and your family.
The dust has settled, bets have been collected, and tears have been wiped away. Last weekend, the 2026 Men’s Six Nations Championship finished its fifth and final round, with all of the trophies having been won and given out.
If you’re new to this amazing account or rugby, then don’t despair – my two blog posts explaining the Six Nations Rugby Championship will clear things up. You can read at your leisure here and here. Sorted governor!
Now that the tournament is over, and despite the wise advice from Payroll, I decided to add an update. Namely, what happened in the tournament and which team won which trophy. With 10 of them, it can be a touch confusing, but here at Some Geek Told Me, we love a challenge. Well, a small challenge at least.
I know you’re as excited as I am to discuss these facts, so let’s talk about the 2026 Six Nations Rugby Championship, because nothing else in the world is happening right now. Absolutely nothing.
Credit: Six Nations Rugby
To begin this astonishing assessment, let’s discuss any important and interesting facts that have been revealed from this year’s tournament.
Thomas Ramos was the highest point scorer with 74.
Louis Bielle-Biarrey broke the record for most tries in a single Championship with nine tries.
In their last two games, France scored 88 points, but conceded 96 points.
In the final round, Wales won their first Six Nations match in 16 matches by defeating Italy. Their last win was against Italy in 2023.
The Solidarity Trophy, a new trophy, was introduced to be contested between France and Ireland.
Italy’s opening win over Scotland was their first opening win of a Six Nations campaign since 2013, when they defeated France, 23-18.
Hollie Davidson became the first woman to referee a men’s Six Nations game.
After 35 years and 32 consecutive defeats, Italy recorded their first-ever win over England, 23-18.
England scored the most points (46) in a loss in a Six Nations match.
So now that’s out of the way, let’s get into the nuts and bolts of the post: Who won what trophies?
I’ll reveal the winners in reverse order, as I introduced them in the second blog post. Clear as mud?
The Solidarity/SolidaritéTrophy: Ireland vs France
If you remember, this trophy was brand new for the tournament, newly minted for 2026. The Solidary Trophy is played between Ireland and France, and on 5th February, France defeated Ireland, 36-14 at the Stade de France. This meant France became the inaugural winners of the Men’s Solidarity Trophy.
Victorious French captain, Antoine Dupont holds the Solidarity Trophy, after France defeated Ireland, 36-14, 5th February 2026. Credit: Guinness Six Nations
The Cuttitta Cup: Scotland vs Italy
To recap, the Cuttitta Cup is only competed between Scotland and Italy. It was introduced in 2022, and on 7th February, Italy reclaimed the Cuttitta Cup by defeating Scotland at the Stadio Olimpico, 18-15. This was only the second time that Italy had won the trophy.
Italy celebrating winning the Cuttitta Cup, over Scotland in 2026. Credit: Six Nations Rugby
The Doddie Weir Cup: Scotland vs Wales
The Doddie Weir Cup was introduced in 2018 to be competed between Scotland and Wales. Scotland retained the trophy, having defeated Wales, 26-23, on 21st February at Millennium Stadium. This was Scotland’s fifth time winning the trophy.
Scotland’s Sione Tuipulotu and Rory Darge lift the Doddie Weir Cup during a Guinness Six Nations match between Wales and Scotland at The Principality Stadium, on February 21, 2026, in Cardiff, Wales. (Photo by Craig Williamson / SNS Group)
The Auld Alliance Trophy: France vs Scotland
The Auld Alliance Trophy is the rival trophy that is played between France and Scotland. It was introduced in 2018, and the 2026 edition was played at Murrayfield Stadium on 7th March. I watched the extended highlights of this game, and it was madness. 90 points were scored, with Scotland reclaiming the trophy by beating France, 50-40. It was Scotland’s first time winning the trophy since 2021, and its fourth time overall.
Scotland celebrating winning the Auld Alliance Trophy in 2026. Credit: Scottish Rugby
The Giuseppe Garibaldi Trophy: France vs Italy
On 22nd February, France played Italy at the Stade Pierre-Mauroy, for the honour of winning the Giuseppe Garibaldi Trophy. This trophy was introduced in 2007, and since then, Italy have only won it twice. At the end of the game, France was victorious and retained the Giuseppe Garibaldi Trophy, downing Italy, 33-8. France has held the trophy since 2014.
French captain Antoine Dupont was awarded the Giuseppe Garibaldi Trophy, by Italian captain, Michele Lamaro. Credit: Six Nations Rugby
The Centenary Quaich: Ireland vs Scotland
This rival trophy was decided in the first game of the fifth and final round. Ireland and Scotland compete for the Centenary Quaich, which was introduced in 1989. The game was played on 14th March at Aviva Stadium, which saw Ireland triumph over Scotland, 43-21. Ireland retained the Centenary Quaich, which they have held since 2018.
I’m very sorry, but I couldn’t find any photographs of Ireland celebrating with the Centenary Quaich in 2026. The best I could do was this photo from last year. HRH Princess Anne, Patron of the Scottish Rugby Union, looks on after presenting Caelan Doris of Ireland with the Century Quaich Trophy, after Ireland defeated Scotland, during the Guinness Six Nations 2025. | Getty Images
The Millennium Trophy: England vs Ireland
The Millennium Trophy was introduced in 1988 to be competed for between England and Ireland. Ireland retained the trophy, having defeated England, 42-21, on 21st February at Twickenham Stadium. Ireland has held the trophy since 2025.
Once again, I have searched the internet, but I could not find a single photo of Ireland celebrating winning the Millennium Trophy for 2026. Sorry, I looked for over 45 minutes.
The Calcutta Cup: England vs Scotland
The Calcutta Cup, the oldest international rugby trophy in the world, is competed for between England and Scotland. It was introduced in 1879, and on 14th February, Scotland reclaimed the Calcutta Cup by defeating England at Murrayfield Stadium, 31-20.
Scotland’s Sione Tuipulotu lifts the Calcutta Cup during a Guinness Six Nations match between Scotland and England at Scottish Gas Murrayfield, on February 14, 2026, in Edinburgh, Scotland. (Photo by Craig Williamson / SNS Group)
Six Nations Championship Wooden Spoon
If you can cast your mind back, this title is a non-award, or rather a (dis)honour for the team that finished last in the championship. Wales finished bottom of the championship with six points and one win. Wales have been awarded the Wooden Spoon since 2024.
Dejected Wales players huddle up at full time, having failed to keep pace with England from early on in the game. Photograph: Chris Fairweather/Huw Evans/Shutterstock
Six Nations Championship Grand Slam
Like the Wooden Spoon, the Grand Slam is a title or honour; it is not a trophy. To achieve the Grand Slam, a team needs to win all five games, essentially beating everybody else. For 2026, no one team managed to defeat all of the others, because each team suffered at least one loss.
This meant the Grand Slam was not achieved in 2026, though it’s interesting to note that the Grand Slam has not been achieved since Ireland did it in 2023.
Six Nations Championship Triple Crown
Unlike the past two entries, the Triple Crown is a trophy, though to be honest, it’s more like a plate. This trophy is played for between the Home Nations of England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland. It is only awarded to the team that defeats all three of the other Home Nation teams. It was first used in 1883, but a trophy was only introduced in 2006.
For 2026, Ireland won the Triple Crown, having defeated England 42-21, Wales 27-17, and Scotland 43-21. Ireland has retained the Triple Crown since 2022; however, since no team won the Triple Crown in 2024, Ireland held onto it by default.
14 March 2026; Ireland captain Caelan Doris lifts the Triple Crown trophy after his side’s victory in the Guinness 6 Nations Rugby Championship match between Ireland and Scotland at the Aviva Stadium in Dublin. Photo by Brendan Moran/Sportsfile
Six Nations Championship Trophy
And we saved the biggest and arguably the most important trophy for last. The current Six Nations Championship trophy was introduced in 2015 and is awarded to the team with the highest amount of points on the table, after the fifth and final round. The winning team for 2026 was France, with 21 points. France also won the trophy in 2025 for the first time since 2022.
France’s win over England in Paris clinched the Six Nations rugby union title for the second straight year. (Getty Images: Catherine Steenkeste)
So, if you have been keeping score, the results from 2025 and 2026 look like this:
As you can see, France, Ireland, and Scotland have ended up with three trophies each, with Italy collecting one. Now, if you ask me who won the tournament and who came last, I would easily say unto you that France was the winner, as they came first, and Wales finished last.
However, if you asked me who the biggest winners and losers of the tournament were, I would give you different answers. Firstly, in my humble opinion, for the biggest winner(s), France has not changed since last year; as they finished first again, with 21 points, and collected three trophies (Yes, they did lose the Auld Alliance Trophy, but they gained the Solidarity Trophy).
Ireland started with three trophies and finished with the same three trophies, but also moved from third last year to second this year, so to me, they are the same, even achieving the same amount of points: 19.
So, what’s the answer? It’s Scotland and Italy, that’s who. I’ll explain. Like I said before, France and Ireland’s performances in 2026 are nearly identical to last year’s performances. Yes, both teams are amazing, but they haven’t improved. They both won four games and lost one.
Compare them to Scotland, which finished fourth last year with two trophies, two wins, three losses, and 11 points. And when measured against 2026’s results, we see that Scotland has improved. They ended up with three trophies, three wins, two losses, and 16 points.
In 2025, Italy finished fifth on the table, with no trophies, one win, four losses, and five points. Compared to this year, Italy finished fourth on the table, with one trophy, two wins, three losses, and nine points. To me, Scotland and Italy are the only two teams that have really improved since last year.
Alright, who is the biggest loser then? Again, it’s easy to point to Wales, because they finished last. Let’s examine Wales’ results last year as well. In 2025, Wales finished sixth (last) on three points, with no trophies, no wins, and five losses; but in 2026, Wales finished sixth again, but with six points, no trophies, one win, and four losses. That is a slight improvement.
No, the real loser of the tournament is England. The evidence is this: last year England finished second on the table with 20 points, one trophy, four wins, and one loss; however, in 2026, they finished fifth with eight points, no trophies, one win, and four losses. You can call Wales’ campaign as poor, but England’s was a disaster.
It was their worst result since the tournament became the Six Nations in 2000, and also the first time since 1987 that England had only secured one win in any of the Five Nations or Six Nations Championships. I’m honestly surprised Steve Borthwick has not been fired as coach yet, or that Maro Itoje has not been sacked as captain. I’m allowed to say this because New Zealand rugby is not in a good way at the moment, as well.
Again, just to be clear, I think Ireland and France are extremely dangerous teams that can beat anybody in the world, as they are ranked third and fourth on the World Rankings. New Zealand is very wary of them. The Women’s Six Nations Championship starts on 11th April, so we also need to keep track of that. Will the Red Roses win the championship again? I have no idea, but probably.
And that is another blog post for another week. Did you watch any of the Men’s Six Nations matches? As always, please let me know. Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, and I hope you enjoyed the equinox. Next week’s blog post has changed because of recent news, but I’ll explain all of that next time. Look after yourself, and I’ll see you on Monday.
I was thinking the other day about what brilliant subject I could write about for the next blog post, when I realised that the decision had already been made for me. Yes, dear fans, it’s that time in the cycle when the greatest scientific communication of our age comes back for another round of fantastic nonsense. I have heard your prayers, and they have been answered!
Your waiting is over, for Some Geek Told Me’s Tour of the Solar System has returned once again for 2026. I know, the anticipation is immense. For previous courageous instalments, please see the list below:
For those of you who are counting, this is my 25th entry in the tour that nobody asks for. The world seems determined to tear itself apart, but rest assured, the quality of this account is still poor, just the way you like it. The new entry is about Charon, which I briefly mentioned last time, so without further time wasting, away we go!
Credit: NASA
I wasn’t sure if I would ever reach Charon. I thought I would have given up by now, but here we are. We’re going to break this celestial object down, just like the others, because that’s what happens on this account: a lot of repetition and bad jokes.
As discussed on the last tour stop on New Zealand’s fifth least favourite website, Charon is one of five known moons of Pluto, and it’s also the largest. Charon’s relationship with Pluto is much like a one-night stand without contraception; this is important, and it’s going to come back. We’ll discuss this later in a safe space.
Charon has a diameter of 1,212 km, which works out to be just over half of Pluto’s diameter. For the record, having a moon which is half the size of its parent planet is extremely odd. Like freaky odd. For comparison, the distance is roughly the same as travelling from Rome, Italy, to Tilburg, in the Netherlands. Charon is small, but it can still beat Ceres in a wrestling match, as well as being the 12th-largest moon in the Solar System.
Much like the discovery of penicillin, Charon’s discovery was by accident. In 1978, James Christy, an astronomer at the U.S. Naval Observatory, had been observing Pluto to refine and determine Pluto’s orbit around the Sun. After looking at some photographic plates, Christy noticed an elongated blob.
The way I understand it, Christy consulted another astronomer at the observatory, Robert Harrington. Together, they discovered photographic plates of Pluto dating back to 1965, with the same elongated blob. The blob turned out to be Charon, Pluto’s first discovered moon.
If you’re up on your Greek mythology, you would have recognised Charon as being named after the delightful gentleman, whose job was to ferry departed souls across the River Styx and Acheron, to the Underworld, which was ruled over by…Hades, the Greek equivalent of Pluto. Coincidentally, you may have also heard of the ancient custom of placing coins on the eyes of a corpse, as the money would serve as payment for Charon, to transport their soul.
Mosiac of New Horizons MVIC color observations of Charon obtained during the final 6.4 day rotation on approach to the system during July 7-14, shown in polar orthographic projection. Image by NASA/Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory/Southwest Research Institute
Remember that one-night stand from before? Well, the results are in, and congratulations, you’re going to be a parent! Charon orbits Pluto at a distance of roughly 19,640 km, which, in cosmic terms, is stalker-level status. This is only the start of Pluto and Charon’s freaky relationship.
To explain this, we need to take a sip of hot chocolate and concentrate, because we need to discuss Pluto’s barycenter. A barycenter, to the best of my understanding, is the most common centre of mass around which two or more cosmic objects orbit. These can include stars, planets, dwarf planets, and moons.
It can be referred to as the balance point, where gravity holds objects together within a system. This usually means the barycenter is located closer to the cosmic object with more mass, which can sometimes be located outside of the larger object. Earth’s barycenter with the Moon is situated within the Earth, about 4,671 km from its centre. Since the barycenter is not at the exact centre of the Earth, the Earth’s centre of mass follows a small, wobbly path around this point.
Another example is with the Sun-Earth barycenter, which can be found 449 km from the Sun’s centre, but it’s still inside the Sun. Since the Sun is so much larger than the Earth, the Sun also experiences a slight wobble. However, the Pluto-Charon barycenter is, once again, odd, because the point that they both orbit around is found not within Pluto, but rather outside of it.
This has led to both Pluto and Charon being mutually tidally locked to each other, which is another way of explaining that the same surfaces of Pluto and Charon are always facing each other. For more comparison, the Moon is tidally locked to Earth, but the Earth is not locked to the Moon.
Because of these facts, Pluto and Charon are sometimes referred to as a “double dwarf planet” binary system.
Charon orbits Pluto every 6.4 Earth days, with an orbital speed of 0.21 to 0.23 km/s, which, in the scale of the Solar System, is quite slow. The distance from the Sun to Charon is also remarkable, with an average measurement of 5.9 billion km. Sometimes with distance and numbers like these, it’s easier to accept it and move on.
Charon has a huge fracture system, unlike anything seen on Pluto. NASA/Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory/Southwest Research Institute
Much like Voyager 2 providing information about Triton, New Horizons‘ flyby in 2015 has gifted humanity with some extraordinary information, data, and images of Pluto’s largest moon. That’s all well and good, but is there anything else we could learn about Charon? Be careful what you wish for.
Let’s talk about Charon’s geology. Its age is believed to be around 4.5 billion years old, but to be honest, it doesn’t look a million years over 3.8 billion. The surface is very active, and is covered with water ice, canyons, carters, and some pretty gnarly names of surface features. These include, but are not limited to, Tardis Chasma, Nostromo Chasma, Kirk, Organa, Ripley, Tintin, Skywalker, Spock, Sulu, Vader, Kurbrick Mons, Gallifrey Macula, Vulcan Planitia, and, of course, the Neverland Regio, which was formerly nicknamed, Mordor Macula.
Charon’s polar cap, the Neverland Regio, is famous for being a massive reddish-brown area at its north pole. This region is made up of tholins, which are dark organic compounds. The colour comes from methane escaping from Pluto, which becomes trapped at Charon’s cold and dark pole during its decades-long winter. During this time, this methane is transformed into red, complex hydrocarbons by solar wind and ultraviolet radiation.
Other equally cool facts about Charon are:
Charon is believed to be too small to sustain a permanent atmosphere, but it does have a crazy 120° axial tilt.
Because Charon is mutually tidally locked with Pluto, it shares Pluto’s 248-year orbit around the Sun.
Each season on Charon can last over 60 years.
The average surface temperature is roughly -230°C, while during winter, it can drop even further to -258°C.
Evidence on Charon’s surface suggests it had ancient cryovolcanic activity.
Charon is a curious little ice ball, but it is still part of our family, and we love it. What is your favourite fact about Charon? As always, please let me know.
I appreciate you continuing to join me on this fascinating tour. The narration is pathetic, but the views are amazing. Thank you for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. My Twitter and Mastodon accounts are still active, pumping out non-award-winning content daily; you should check them out.
Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, don’t bomb schools, and I’ll see you next week for the Six Nations winners update. Stop it, I know you love it.
Using the way-back machine, let’s travel back to 2022, where I wrote about various reviews of two television shows that I hadn’t seen at the time. I thought it was overdue to revisit this concept, but instead of writing about another television show, we’re going to look at a movie. This sounds like another excellent idea, like fire-proof matches, or ejector seats in helicopters.
We are spoiled for choice, as we are surrounded by a collection of motion pictures, whether they are shown at the cinema or through various streaming services. What an age to live in!
However, considering her spouse, the U.S. president, the Board of Peace chairman, the winner of the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize, the recent recipient of a hand-me-down Nobel Peace Prize, and convicted felony, Donald Trump, has been busy bombing Iran, I thought it would be fitting to look at Melania Trump’s movie, Melania.
Let’s establish something first. I can think of no conceivable reason why I would ever watch, Melania. Seriously, I don’t want to watch it. If I were on a long-haul flight, and I had no book, with the movie stuck on repeat, then maybe. A big maybe.
So, how does someone review a movie that they have no intention of ever watching? The answer is very simple; I read what other people have said. I had a staff meeting about this subject, and the consensus was that we should try to be fair and neutral. However, sometimes we can be biased, and today is one of those days.
Melania premiered on 29th January 2026, with a budget of US$40 million, and has made US$16.6 million worldwide, which technically makes it a flop. From what I understand, the film covers Melania’s movements and experiences around the last 20 days leading up to the second inauguration of everybody’s favourite president, Donald Trump. Sounds action-packed stuff, right?
And with that, let’s make it so!
‘Melania’ movie posters vandalized across LA. Credit: Fox 11 News
I enjoy reading humorous reviews as much as the next person, so this was a fun experience for me, unlike smelling an open bag of Sour Cream and Chives from 500 m away. Gross.
Because you demand nothing but the best from this wayward literary venture, I have collected some of the funniest reviews for Melania and have tried to group them accordingly, because I can, and it looks neat. Also, I am aware of review bombing, so thank you in advance for the heads up.
Rotten Tomatoes: (Accurate for 5th March 2026)
11% Tomatometer
98% Audience Score
Coleman Spilde: Salon.com 7th February 2026
This documentary doesn’t absolve any sins; it highlights them. “Melania” taunts the viewer and takes glee in the assumption that they can’t do anything about it.
Joseph Robinson: Fish Jelly Films (YouTube) 6th February 2026
More PR campaign than personal portrait, Melania is an astonishingly dull documentary that masquerades as a glamorous immigrant story while offering little insight beyond carefully curated image-making.
Robert Denerstein: Denerstein Unleashed 4th February 2026
By any critical standards I’m familiar with, I’ll tell you that Melania isn’t much of a documentary; it’s more like a plush Life Styles of the Rich and Famous episode that bleeds into a chorus of booming triumphalism centering on Trump’s inauguration.
Amy Nicholson: Los Angeles Times 3rd February 2026
Melania” plays like a sizzle reel for her post-political (post-spousal?) future career in which she may rouse herself to be a guest judge on a reality competition show.
Calum Cooper: Cinerama Film 3rd February 2026
Melania is shambolic, putrid, pitiful garbage: A brazen, awkward, irredeemable infomercial that ignores truth and scrutiny in favour of performative humility. It’s not just wretched – it’s offensive to the collective intelligence of the human race.
Donald Clarke: Irish Times 31st January 2026
No good impression emerges of the former Slovenian model. No bad impression emerges either. Ratner’s film achieves, rather, a sort of passive distance – as you might get by pointing a camera, for close to two hours, at a waterfall or a wheat field.
IMDb: (Accurate for 5th March 2026)
1.4/10 rating
Sleepin_Dragon: 1/10 rating 30th January 2026
I can’t pretend I sat through this to the end. There was only so much I could take, and as we left the cinema, the screen itself was empty. That probably says everything I need to say about this dire ….movie.
meltymark: 1/10 rating 30th January 2026
I’m not a political person, politics are disgusting to me on both sides of the isle and I understand Melania is not a politician and deserves some respect and dignity like all other people… but
This was not only boring, but it was also incredibly painful to watch. It reminded me of the feeling you get when a boss or person in authority is bragging about themselves and you have to just take it and act like it doesn’t repulse you and your body language and whole being just can’t take it to the point of it making you physically ill.
andrew-lundberg-1970: 1/10 rating 31st January 2026
Everything about this film is pure tragedy, and not in a meaningful or intentional way. It’s dull, self-important, and completely devoid of insight, as if it mistakes moodiness for depth and emptiness for sophistication. The pacing drags, the storytelling goes nowhere, and whatever point it thinks it’s making never arrives. If I could give it less than one star, I would. Don’t waste your time, your money, or your patience on this hollow mess.
mbvqp: 1/10 rating 1st February 2026
Melania” is an utter WASTE OF TIME and MONEY-hands down the WORST MOVIE I’ve ever seen. Its disjointed plot, uninspired performances, and cringeworthy ridiculous dialogue make it a tedious chore to sit through. Rather than offering insight, it delivers a bland, utterly uninspiring experience that adds absolutely nothing to the broader discourse. Please do yourself an enormous favour and SKIP THIS DISASTER entirely. You’ll be glad that you did!
rppratings: 1/10 rating 5th February 2026
Melania is less of a movie and more of a painfully long exercise in boredom. Calling it hollow would be generous – this film is a glossy, lifeless shell with absolutely nothing inside. It drags, it stalls, it goes nowhere, and somehow still feels longer than its runtime. Watching paint dry would’ve delivered more emotional payoff.
The “story,” if you can even call it that, is buried under endless slow shots, awkward silence, and a level of stiffness that makes mannequins look expressive. Every moment that should feel revealing or meaningful instead feels cold, staged, and completely devoid of humanity. It’s not mysterious – it’s empty.
The dialogue is flat, the pacing is brutal, and the entire thing feels like a stretched-out PR video nobody asked for. By the end, I wasn’t frustrated, I wasn’t moved – I was just stunned that something so expensive-looking could be so painfully pointless.
Melania isn’t just bad – it’s spectacularly, monumentally dull. A beautiful wrapper around absolutely nothing. A total waste of time.
JoshuaT-253: 1/10 rating 19th February 2026
There is nothing harder to describe than a movie that is simply dull and uninteresting. I could sit here and describe how nothing happens for close to 80% of the time. Just a lady sitting around waiting for things to happen. She then travels from place to place multiple times in great and tedious detail with nothing to show for it than more waiting to travel to yet another place. It has almost zero content, nothing to hold interest or to connect with at all.
…No doubt there is a great documentary to be made about Melania Knauss, the ambitious model from out of Slovenia who married a New York real-estate mogul and then found herself cast in the role of a latter-day Eva Braun, but the horrific Melania emphatically isn’t it. It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch and proffered like a medieval tribute to placate the greedy king on his throne.
…Last night, I left an empty chickpea can on my counter. When I came back 30 minutes later, small, black bugs had swarmed the tin and were crawling over my sink. I would rather relive that moment a hundred times over than have to watch another minute of the movie Melania.
…Cameras followed Melania in the twenty days leading up to Trump’s second Inauguration. About nineteen of them seem to have been devoted to planning Melania’s big event, a candlelit dinner for MAGA backers and bagmen, including Bezos. Chef Chris’s menu opens with a “golden egg and caviar,” an event planner says. At this point, you think that “Melania” has broken the fourth wall, that the far-too-obvious symbolism is about to be acknowledged and then punctured or dismissed. But, no, the gilded hors d’œuvres are for real, even if, as a metaphor, they are at best incomplete. With “Melania,” you get the brittle shell, but none of the rich internal goo that makes for a compelling portrait.
…People will tell you to remember that this is just a documentary and that’s why it’s boring, but that’s just plain wrong. This documentary shows no historical value other than “my husband became the president.” I would not show this to my children because I see no role model. If I want to show my kids a documentary, I’d choose one with a more empowering figure, someone they can look up to and strive to be.
…I cannot recommend “Melania” as a good movie or even an interesting one. It has the feel of a soothingly looped AI screen saver, a trance-inducing spell where nothing matters so long as your high heels aren’t hurting your feet. Yet against all odds, there is a truth in her SUV-to-tarmac-to-SUV-to-tarmac insularity. Future historians will be glad to have “Melania” as a lens into this moment in time. Like everything she touches, it’s a costly artifact.
…Melania is a documentary that never comes to life. It’s a “portrait” of the First Lady of the United States, but it’s so orchestrated and airbrushed and stage-managed that it barely rises to the level of a shameless infomercial. Is it cheesy? At moments, but mostly it’s inert. It feels like it’s been stitched together out of the most innocuous outtakes from a reality show. There’s no drama to it. It should have been called “Day of the Living Tradwife.
Melania many go down in history as one of the least revealing documentaries ever made. But if you’ve never watched the First Lady get on and off a plane, Brett Ratner’s got a movie for you.
…Melania is like a horror film with nothing scary in it, or a crime thriller with no twists, or an action film with no fighting. It is a documentary with no interest in exploring its central figure beneath her most superficial level. It is incomprehensibly empty.
But I think the best review I have discovered is this:
Couldn’t hear what the hell was going on during the film because the whole theater was filled with dudes in red hats sucking each other off load af.
Now, in the interests of being fair, not every single Melania review is negative; some, in fact, praise the film. Different strokes for different folks, though. Should you watch the film or give it a pass? I would give it a hard pass, not even to watch it, to decry it.
It goes for a general rule of thumb for any comic, book, movie, TV show, computer game, music, chip flavour or documentary; don’t listen to anybody else’s review or opinion. If you want to experience a product, go and experience it yourself; that way, you’ll always know. If you like it, then praise the living hell out of it; if not, then go the other way.
To quote one of the 90’s greatest arse-kickers, “The power is yours!”
And that, dear friends, brings another jam-packed blog post filled with mystery to a close. Also, regardless of what happens with Trump’s non-war with Iran, Iran is due to play all of its group games of the FIFA World Cup in the United States, with the first game against us, New Zealand, on 15th June. Who knows if Trump will let them into the country or if there will be a boycott? Who knows?
Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, go watch The Creator, and I’ll see you next week.
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