Ode to Book Banning

I want to talk about book banning. Why? I wear many different hats, with one of them being a geek. The problem is that I’m also a bibliophile as well. Because of this, the banning, censorship, or burning of books, does not sit well with me. It really doesn’t. Even though it happened thousands of years ago, before I was born, the loss of the Great Library of Alexandria, is something I still think about. Sorry Elsa, but I can’t let it go.

My Geek-Sense went off in January 2022, when I discovered Maus, by Art Spiegelman, was removed from various schools’ curriculum, by a board of trustees, for McMinn County Schools, Tennessee, United States of America. I was in utter disbelief.

I learnt later that V for Vendetta, and Y: The Last Man have also been banned in some Texan schools, along with many others. Now this is not me getting angry about graphic novels getting attacked, but also other mediums like novels; fiction and non-fiction.

Contemporary writers are having their books challenged and banned, for the craziest of reasons. Some of the reasons include nudity, anti-police themes, racism, violence, and LGBTQIA+ themes. This of course is not excluding the hundreds of other books, over hundreds of years, that have been challenged by idiots.

Far better writers, journalists, and reporters, have already written about the growing trend of book banning and book censorship. They can give you a far better understanding of the reasons, but also provide a far more comprehensive analysis of this problem.

As a geek, bibliophile, and a parent, how do I truly feel about this plague of nonsense? Well I’m glad you asked, because I’ve decided to put my feelings into a poem; which is a Some Geek Told Me first.


Image by Prettysleepy from Pixabay

Many books are banned each year,

Some try to make them disappear.

Policing and objecting to the text,

Banning, burning, redacting, what’s next?!

Books we need for kids to learn,

They pile them high and watch them burn.

Ignorance and misinformation are the tools,

They use to remove books from schools.

They do not like this book named Maus,

They won’t allow it in the house.

A book where two girls kiss,

“Better give this a miss!”

Anne Frank’s diary is historically impressing,

Censors banned it, because it was too depressing.

Banning books is a sure fire way,

To bring new readers to the fray.

This war on books is doomed to fail,

The words will endure to tell their tale.


I could have written more, but I’m positive, I’d just end up swearing with every 4th word. Banning a book, for whatever reason, devalues the world and children’s education. Children need to read content, written by someone outside of their social and cultural bubble, but also read about concepts that are in the community and the world.

I’m like Schrödinger’s bibliophile friend, that’s in a box with a list of banned books. From the outside, you have no idea whether I’m angry or sad. You only know the answer, when you open the box and observe my emotion.

The trouble is, I’m stuck in a superposition as being angry and sad, at the same time; all of the time, over censorship and book banning. And the only thing I can really say is, go and read as many banned books as you can.

Seriously, read them; just read them. Visit the library or buy them for yourself; buy them for your spouse, parents, children, friends, siblings, or even the crazy guy with the billboard; but please just read them.

You do not like them.

So you say.

Try them! Try them!

And you may.

Try them and you may, I say. – Dr. Seuss

Do you have a favourite banned book? If you do, please tell me about it. Thanks for reading, wash your hands, and I’ll see you next week!


Four Movies That I Will Never Watch

I want to talk about movies. Why? I love movies, for a list of reasons that are longer than Dumbledore’s beard. There are movies that I would happily watch again and again, because I love them. There are other movies that I’ve seen, and that I’ve liked or hated; but ultimately, I have no desire to watch them again.

There are also movies that I haven’t seen, because I haven’t gotten around to actually watching them yet, but I will one day. They’re on my to-do-list, along with finish painting the house and find my missing Superman socks.

However, there is a small group of movies, that for different reasons, I have absolutely no desire to view them. Ever. I could go the rest of my life without watching these movies, and I’ll be ok with that.

Seriously, I never want to see them, because there is no reason why I would want to. There is a greater chance of me becoming an All Black, than viewing these four films.

Before I go on, I need to address something. I could have easily researched about these four films online, and given you a synopsis about them; but I haven’t. I thought it would be better to talk about them, from what I know through pop culture, so they may not be 100% accurate; though that’s the point.

Sweet? Awesome, let’s discuss four movies that I will never, ever watch.


Image by Igor Ovsyannykov from Pixabay

The Exorcist

Where do I start for The Exorcist? From what I understand, some type of demon/devil has possessed a young girl. I understand that the girl’s face changes; there’s serious vomiting; head spinning; and maybe she walks up walls or on the ceiling? I’m not sure on the last one. I think two priests turn up to exorcise the demon/devil from the girl, which I can only guess is just utter carnage and depressing.

I realise millions of people have already seen The Exorcist, and I feel happy for them. Well done them, I just don’t need to. Damn, if I see that film, it will be a case of that I can never “unsee” it.

I love black comedies and I have seen horror movies before, I mean I’m not a total fool. I saw A Nightmare of Elm Street when I was 11, and it scared the shit out of me, so I’m not a big horror fan. I feel that watching The Exorcist would not add anything to my psyche, but only take things away. I am so afraid of that movie!

I have enough bat shit crazy stuff rolling around in my head, that I really don’t want to import any. As I’m typing this, my mind’s eye is projecting every small clip I have seen of the film on repeat. I can never see The Exorcist, it will haunt me for the rest of my days; and I’m being polite in saying that.

Dirty Dancing

It seems to me that nearly every female over 25 years of age, has seen Dirty Dancing. My wife has seen it, her friends have seen it, along with the majority of my work colleagues. As for me, I have no desire ever to see that film.

My lack of understanding of the film, reveals that the central female character is called Baby, for some reason. I have no idea why, though it could be a nickname I suppose. I do know for a fact that the line, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner,” comes from the film. This was pointed out to me by a work colleague, when I said I had never seen it.1

As for the plot, maybe the film is named Dirty Dancing, because Patrick Swayze’s character (I have no idea about his name), and Jennifer Grey’s Baby (I did know that), have to practice their dancing in a run down hall, with bad plumbing and mud. Or their clothes are dirty, because the town’s water supply is contaminated with racism, stupidity, or some other insane thing.

I really hope it’s not called Dirty Dancing, because of some forbidden, exotic dance moves, that other people call dirty, that Baby wants to learn; but only Patrick Swayze can teach her. Please remember, I have deliberately not researched the movie, so this is just me throwing ideas around. I’ll be so disappointed if I’m actually correct.

The main reason I have not seen Dirty Dancing, is that I’m not a fan of dance movies. Now, don’t get me wrong; I love a good romance movie. Batman Returns, Bad Boys 2, The Empire Strikes Back, and Die Hard 2, are some of my favourite classic romance movies.2

However Dirty Dancing will forever be a big, fat, no thank you, for me. I guess it just doesn’t float my boat. Dirty Dancing is probably a cinematic masterpiece, but I am very proud that I have never seen it, or have any motivation to see it.

Marley & Me/A Dog’s Purpose

Even though Marley & Me and A Dog’s Purpose are two different films, I have grouped them together for the same reason: they’re films about dogs dying. I can’t handle that.

I’ve had dogs before, and I currently have one that sleeps wherever he pleases. I love dogs, so movies featuring dead dogs, is something my tiny geek heart would not handle. If I sat down and watched either film, the end result would be that I’d cry. Seriously. I can’t simply handle stories/films/songs featuring dogs that die.

My wife has seen me cry before; when the All Blacks lose, when I stub my toe, or when I look at my bank account. These moments of sadness occur often, so she is used to them; however, in her eyes, my status of being a cool husband will be shattered, when I start crying like an anti-vaxxer with no vaccine pass, because I saw a movie featuring a dying dog.

So basically, hell no; I will not be watching Marley & Me and A Dog’s Purpose. Ever. Though this raises the question; does anybody else have a list of movies that they will never watch? I would love to know your answers!

Alright, I can hear UMC1 and UMC2 talking in their fake fart language, even though they are supposed to be asleep; so I’d better go. Stay safe, thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week.


1 I thought it was some kind of parental advice from a film, explaining that you should, “Never put a baby in a corner.” I had no idea the baby, was an adult woman named Baby.

2 Sorry, I have a thing for sequels. I’m trying to seek help for it.

Do Child Friendly Episodes of Doctor Who Exist?

I want to talk about Doctor Who, in particular, some child friendly episodes. Why? My wife and I are large fans of the Doctor, and of her enemies. We look forward to watching new episodes, so we can turn them into an event, with pop corn or chips. We love it.

So being the geeks that we are, we have various geek memorabilia, scattered around the house. A Batman lamp here; a Right Hand of Doom money box over there; a Silver Surfer framed print on one wall; with some Harry Potter Lego sitting on a bookshelf; and a life sized poster of a Dalek, outside UMC1 and UMC2’s bedroom.

The boys have no real idea about what a Dalek is, other than walking about with a washing basket over themselves, with a spatula and whisk sticking out; shouting, “I’m a Dalek! I’m a Dalek!”

We have shown them different videos of the theme song, which UMC2 calls, the Doctor Song. We have also shown them some funny scenes from the show, where the boys have thought were hilarious!

This of course has led to them campaigning to actually watch some entire episodes. Being the geeky parents that we are, we have said yes; on the condition that the episodes are child friendly.

Because of this, my wife and I have pooled our knowledge of the Doctor, and have created a list of some child friendly episodes of Doctor Who. We have tried to keep it to one incarnation of the Doctor as possible, because all of the Doctors deserve their own time in the starlight.


Image by sinepax from Pixabay

Flatline: Season 8, Episode 9

This episode has some truly hilarious scenes, that children would love. From what we can remember, some 2-D creatures from another dimension, have attacked the TARDIS’ outer shell, and caused it to shrink.

This results in some shenanigans with the 12th Doctor being trapped inside, and Clara carrying it around like a toy. It’s a hoot, and kids will love it.

Though to be honest, the 2-D creatures, named the Boneless, actually convert some people into 2-D, thus killing them, including a police officer. The Boneless then try and convert the Doctor, Clara and Rigsy into 2-D….so that could be a bit scary for the kids. Maybe we could pass on this one?

Partners in Crime: Season 4, Episode 1

Alright, the 10th Doctor and Donna are investigating a new weight-loss drug. The good news is that the drug reduces the user’s weight; the bad news is that the drug creates pieces of humanoid fat, that detaches itself from the user’s body.

The fat blobs are called Adipose, an alien race in their infant form. Children would love watching the Adipose walk around, with their cute little bodies, stubby legs, webbed hands, while causing trouble.

But wait a minute, there is a scene where a person is totally converted to a collection of Adipose; Matron Cofelia tries to kill 1 million British citizens, by the total conversation of Adipose; and also Matron Cofelia falls to her death, after being betrayed by the Adiposian First Family. Damn, the kids will need therapy over this, so we can’t show them this episode, either.

The Lodger: Season 5, Episode 11

Ok, let’s try 11 shall we? The 11th Doctor rents a room in a flat with Craig, and because of some time loops, he decides to investigate. This is because the Doctor suspects the cause of the time disturbances are being created by Craig’s upstairs neighbour.

Children will think it’s hilarious watching the Doctor play football for the first time, but also trying to act normal and blend into an urban British lifestyle; which he fails at. Just watching the Doctor trying not to be himself, is worth the ticket price for the kids.

By the end of the episode, a few people…have died. Oh, I forgot about that. An alien spaceship emergency holographic program, is killing people in order to find a pilot for the ship. Walking up a set of stairs in a strange house, could suddenly become nightmare fuel for children. Onto the next episode, please.

Rose: Season 1, Episode 1

I have it, the best child friendly episode is the first episode of the relaunch. The 9th Doctor meets Rose, a teenage shop assistant. Together, they uncover an Auton invasion of London. Autons look like mannequins, but they are much more than that.

The scenes of mannequins chasing people, the Doctor speed reading a book, Mickey getting kidnapped by a rubbish bin, are quite comical; however the Doctor being attacked by a plastic arm, would be great entertainment for the kids.

Hang on, the ending is brutal. The Autons open fire and kill dozens of people, while the Nestene Consciousness dies. Yet again, the day is saved, but with a large body count. I really don’t want to have to explain this to UMC1 and UMC2; next!

The Tomb of the Cybermen: Series 5, Episode 1

Let’s go back, way back to 1967 with the release of The Tomb of the Cybermen. The 2nd Doctor, along with Jamie and Victoria, travel to the planet Telos, where an expedition is taking place. It’s later revealed that the expedition has set out to find the Tomb of the Cybermen, that died out hundreds of years before.

This episode would be ideal for children, because of the futuristic music; the fact that the episode is black and white; but also that the Cybermen look hilarious and not scary at all.

Hang on, I’m forgetting something…oh, that’s it. The Cybermen murder some people, because that’s what they do. I’m starting to see a pattern here; a lot of people die in Doctor Who. Again, this is more nightmare fuel for children. Alright, I have one chance for success!

Kerblam!: Season 11, Episode 7

This is the last roll of the die for me, let’s go with the 13th Doctor; our current one. The Doctor gets a mysterious message from Kerblam, a massive galactic retailer. Once there, The Doctor, Yaz, Ryan, and Graham try and help whomever sent for help, as well as sort out the problems at Kerblam.

This episode would be great for kids. Firstly, a robot delivers a package to the Doctor, inside the TARDIS; people are playing with bubble wrap; and the robots themselves, the TeamMates and Kerblam Men, look outrageous!

The main theme for the episode…concerns a human workforce being replaced by an automated workforce. And that same workforce, is going to try and kill thousands of people with explosive bubble wrap.

Ok, I concede, I’m out. Doctor Who is very entertaining, but it can be quite intense, even for adults, let alone for children. I honestly can’t think of a single child friendly episode, that would be safe from people dying and violence. Though to be fair, I have not seen every single episode of Doctor Who; I’m not that cool.

Maybe there was a storyline or episode from the 1st Doctor, or the 4th, or even the 7th, that is actually child friendly. I can’t imagine the Master being featured in any of them, if they exist.

However, maybe you know of some child friendly episodes? If you do, please let me know, because I’m very curious. With that, I’m off to watch Superman & Lois. How good is Bizarro? Wait, that should be, how bad is Bizarro?

Stay safe, thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week.

Glory to Ukraine.



The Ever Growing List of Russian Sanctions

Last year I wrote a blog about the Ukraine-Russia conflict, where I did my best to try and explain what was going on. After going back and looking at it again nearly one year later, there are things I realise I could have explained better, expanded more, or even things I just forgot to mention.

When I wrote it, I was concerned about the future of the region, because I thought it was a geo-political hot spot. That fear is a reality for millions of people across Ukraine, but also Russia, the neighbouring countries, and the entire world.

I try and fail, to make my blogs to be funny, entertaining, or interesting; so it could make someone smile, laugh, or at least to give them something to think about. This blog will be about the latter, because I find nothing funny or entertaining about the invasion of Ukraine. Nothing.

Before I level up and go into rant mode, please read the hundreds of articles and updates about the invasion, from various news sites around the world. Thousands of journalists and reporters are providing us with information and photos, that are changing minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day; detailing the horror and carnage of this utter madness.

So, am I angry about this insanity? Yes. Am I shocked and stunned by it? Yes. Am I afraid for Ukraine? Yes. Even though, I’m about 17,000 km away, I still give a damn. So, in my totally bias view, whom has the power to stop the war? Only the Russian government.

This brings us to the start of my rant for this Monday; I want to talk about sanctions and responses the world has given Russia, over the invasion of Ukraine. As the days have passed, I am amazed, truly amazed, about how united the world has been.

Except for Belarus, Cuba, Syria, Venezuela, Nicaragua, and Russia of course.

For all of the things wrong in our world, they are some things that are right. These things have crossed genders, races, politics, religion, social economic backgrounds, languages, cultures, countries, and even sports.

Also can I just point something out? How badly do you need to have stuffed up, to have the Pope turn up on your door step, and ask you to explain your actions? Pretty badly, I think.

Anyway, I am in awe of the sanctions and responses, the international community have given the Russian government, over the Ukrainian invasion. Now I realise these sanctions and responses may change over time, and new ones will be added; however at the time of writing this blog, these are correct.

Another thing I want to add, is that I am very aware of other conflicts on the planet; such as Palestine, Yemen, Chad, Syria and many others. These conflicts are no less important, and still deserve the world’s attention and support.

With that in mind, may I present, a small list of Russian sanctions and responses by the international community, over the invasion of Ukraine. By the way, some of these sanctions and responses include Belarus, but not all of them.


Image by Miguel Á. Padriñán from Pixabay

Sports

Basketball

  • The EuroLeague have moved all games that were to be played in Russia, to other countries outside of Russia.

Football

  • UEFA has stripped St. Petersburg of hosting the 2022 UEFA final, scheduled for 28th May.
  • FIFA has suspended Russia; both men’s and women’s teams from international competitions. This means, the men’s team will not eligible to play at the World Cup in Qatar later this year.
  • Manchester United have terminated their sponsorship deal with Aeroflot, a Russian airline.
  • Schalke 04 have terminated their sponsorship deal with Gazprom, a Russian gas supplier.
  • After 19 years, the Russian oligarch, Roman Abramovich, is selling Chelsea FC. This is because of the mounting pressure of his association to President Putin.

Formula One

  • The Russian Grand Prix at Sochi, which was the 17th round of the Formula One championship was suspended.
  • Formula One now has terminated it’s contract with the Formula One promoter of the Russian Grand Prix.

Gymnastics

  • The International Gymnastics Federation (FIG) has banned Russian and Belarusian national flags at events, and their national anthems will not be played at any FIG event.
  • There will no FIG events to be held in Russia or Belarus, until further notice.

Ice Hockey

  • Two teams from the Russian owned, Kontinental Hockey League, have withdrawn from the competition.

Martial Arts

  • The International Judo Federation suspended President Putin as it’s honorary president.
  • The European Judo Union withdrew President Putin’s status as Honorary President.
  • World Taekwondo has stripped President Putin of his honorary 9th dan black belt.
  • World Taekwondo said that no Russian or Belarusian national flags or anthems would be displayed or played at their events.
  • No taekwondo events would be organised in Russia or Belarus.

Paralympics

  • The International Paralympic Committe has banned Russian and Belarusian athletes from competing at the 2022 Winter Paralympics in Beijing.

Rugby Union

  • The full and immediate suspension of Russia and Belarus from all international rugby and cross-border club rugby activities, until further notice.
  • The full and immediate suspension of the Rugby Union of Russia from World Rugby membership, until further notice.

Skiing

  • The International Ski Federation (FIS) said there will no events in Russia, for the rest of the 2022 season.

Swimming

  • The World Junior Championship event in Russia, has now been allocated to another country.
  • The International Swimming Federation (FINA) withdrew the FINA Order previously given to President Putin.

Entertainment

Movies

  • Film studios like Disney, Sony, and Warner Bros, have stopped the release of their films in Russian cinemas. These include major films like Turning Red, Morbius, and The Batman, respectfully.

Music

  • The New York Metropolitan Opera is cutting ties with musicians connected with President Putin.
  • Russia has been banned from the 2022 Eurovision competition.
  • Green Day, Eric Clapton, Imagine Dragons, Iggy Pop, Louis Tomlinson, the Killers, and Franz Ferdinand; along with others, have cancelled upcoming shows in Russia.
  • Spotify has removed content from Kremlin backed outlets; RT and Sputnik, but also has closed their office in Russia.

Finance

  • The Industrial and Commercial Bank of China, and the Bank of China, are limiting finances to purchase Russian raw materials, which limits Russian access to foreign money.
  • Russia has been cut off from SWIFT, the global messaging network for international payments.
  • Western countries have placed sanctions on the Russian Central Bank. This is to stop it from liquidating assets to counter balance the impact of sanctions.
  • The World Bank has stopped all activities in Russia and Belarus.
  • Singapore became the first Southeast Asian nation to impose sanctions on Russia. This was done by restricting banks and transactions linked to Russia.
  • Switzerland has frozen a number of Russian assets and joined EU sanctions; which has been described as unprecedented. (You know it’s bad, when the Swiss are pissed off!)
  • American Express, Visa, and Mastercard have blocked international credit card transactions made in Russia.
  • Samsung Pay, Google Pay, and Apple Pay have announced that their systems will no longer work in Russia.
  • Trafigura, a commodities trading company has frozen all of its Russian investments, which includes its share in Rosneft led project, Vostok Oil.
  • Personal sanctions on President Putin and Russian Foreign Minister, Sergei Lavrov. This means the men’s collective assets in United States of America, European Union, United Kingdom and Canada, have been frozen.

Sanctions in other areas

  • Education
  • Research
  • Science
  • Energy
  • Electronic games
  • Food
  • Beverages
  • Furniture
  • Cars
  • Clothes
  • Technology
  • Services
  • Tourism
  • Aviation

There are many comprehensive lists of Russian sanctions out there, if you are curious. Over the coming weeks and months, this list will continue to grow, forcing the Russian government to the negotiating table. Sadly, only time will tell about how long this will be.

In the meantime, if you would like to donate money to support and protect Ukraine, there are many different agencies you can go through. The following list was complied by Vox.

Children

Medical Supplies

Journalists on the frontlines

Other ways to help

Seriously, any amount of money you can give, will help with the crisis.

With that, I will leave you, because my children are still talking in bed. Stay safe and I’ll see you next week. Glory to Ukraine!