To quote Huey Lewis and the News, “The power of love is a curious thing, Make a one man weep, Make another man sing.” Love can change and transform a person; it can make them loving, compassionate, brave, empathetic, happy, and basically everything else positive society can throw a label on.
Like many things or concepts in this mad little world, love is like a coin; it has two sides or two faces.1 On one face of the coin, is love as described by Jane Austen: witty, lovely, romantic, charming, and enduring. On the other face, well, we have love described by the Brontë sisters: dark, jealousy, twisted, obsessive, and secretive. Love can make people do some pretty crazy stuff and not all of it is good.
There are many couples throughout history and pop culture that personify romantic love. We can admire these couples as role models; whether straight, gay, or everything else. However, there are equally couples that are so bad for each other, that everybody knows they shouldn’t be together, or at least, have some extreme Brontë issues to work through.
Toss the love coin for a couple and see where it lands. Does it land Austen face up, or is it Brontë? That seems easy, doesn’t it? But what about the couples in the centre of the Venn diagram? What if the coin does not land face down, but is actually on its side? 2
Some people look and say that these couples are lovely and romantic, so they must belong together. They are admired, romanticised, and even idolised. Now I’m not an expert on love; ask my wife, but I have three couples that do not deserve your admiration. As a collective society, we need to stop lying to ourselves about these couples.
May I submit three couples that we desperately need to stop admiring: 1 x historical couple and 2 x fictional couples. Let’s break some hearts!
Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow (Bonnie and Clyde)
Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were part of the Barrow Gang, which included Clyde’s brother Marvin “Buck” Barrow, and his wife Blanche. They operated in the Central United States of America, during 1932-1934, committing small-time heists and bank robberies.
Bonnie and Clyde were romanticised at the time, and still are. They were a young couple, living their best life, which fed into the counterculture, with part of the public admiring and adoring them. One of the reasons was that Bonnie was already married to a man named Roy Thornton, but she was in love with Clyde.
In the grips of the Great Depression, these love birds were fighting to be free and live wild. The growing problem was their crimes were becoming more violent, which resulted in people being killed. This made the public slowly turn on them, and law enforcement officers hunted them.
On 23rd May 1934, Bonnie and Clyde’s crime spree ended. They were ambushed in their car, by law enforcement officers and were shot to death. Bonnie had 26 bullet wounds, and Clyde received 17; with both suffering head shots.
Over the years, their romantic legacy has grown across the world, especially because of the Academy Award-winning 1967 film, Bonnie and Clyde. But let’s face facts; Bonnie and Clyde committed multiple robberies of banks, gas stations, and small stores, but also killed at least 12 people; which included nine law enforcement officers.
It’s been 89 years since their death, and I’m sorry to say, we need to stop admiring them.
Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet (Romeo and Juliet)
Did you see this one coming?! First performed in 1597, William Shakespeare’s immortal play Romeo and Juliet, has been touted as one of the greatest love stories ever told. It’s been adapted into film, ballet, opera, paintings, and literature, and is still performed through theatre around the world. Over 420 years later, people are still experiencing and revisiting the story.
Though should we still be experiencing Romeo and Juliet? Hell, yes! I’m not smart enough to articulate just how impactful and amazing the play is, and why it’s important. To me, it’s good, it’s so, so good. However, that isn’t the correct question we should be asking.
We should hold on to Romeo and Juliet, until the potential heat death of the universe. But should we keep romanticising them? Hell, no!
I want you to think about a few things:
- The entire play is set over six days. Yes, just six days!
- When Romeo meets Juliet for the first time, he’s on the rebound from Rosaline (Sunday evening).
- Romeo and Juliet fall in love with each other (Sunday evening).
- Romeo meets Juliet for the second time and agree to marry (Late Sunday evening).
- The next day, Romeo and Juliet marry (Monday afternoon).
- By Friday morning, both Romeo and Juliet are dead by their own hands.
Imagine if your child or grandchild came to you and said, that the person they were planning on marrying today, they had only met them the day before? What would you do? Seriously, what would you say?
From the time I first met my future wife, to actually getting married was 20 months. I used to think that was fast, but that’s at a snail’s pace, compared to Romeo and Juliet’s 24 hours!
This brings me to their ages. At the time of the wedding, I believe Romeo was 16 years old, and Juliet was just 13 years old. Granted the play was set in Verona, around the 14th/15th century, but still.
Another love myth to break about the couple is that by the end of the play, six people had died. They were Mercutio, Tybalt, Lady Montague, Paris, and the idiots of the story, Romeo and Juliet. Yes, Romeo and Juliet did kill themselves, but through their actions; directly and indirectly, four other people paid the ultimate price for their one-night stand. Romeo alone personally killed three people!
“These violent delights have violent ends.”
If you’re looking for romance, love, or shenanigans in a Shakespearian play, then admire these couples: Sebastian and Olivia, Viola and Orsino, Lucentio and Bianca, Petruchio and Katherina, Bassanio and Portia, Beatrice and Benedick, or Orlando and Rosalind.
Romeo and Juliet truly belong with the other tragic couples: Othello and Desdemona, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, Antony and Cleopatra, Duke of Albany and Goneril, Duke of Cornwall and Regan, and of course, Hamlet and Ophelia.
The tale of Romeo and Juliet is not a love story, because nobody is left happy at the end. I think one of the points of the play is not to admire Romeo and Juliet; because they don’t deserve it, but to see their flaws and mistakes, so you don’t have to make them yourself.
The Joker and Harley Quinn (The Joker and Harleen Quinzel)
I’m not going to spend a lot of time with this couple because they are the textbook example of a toxic relationship. When everybody’s favourite Arkham Asylum escapee was recaptured and brought back, the Joker met, manipulated, seduced, and corrupted psychologist Harleen Quinzel, and helped her to transform into Harley Quinn.
Harley Quinn became the Joker’s accomplice and girlfriend, but it was an awful abusive relationship. Over the years and in different versions, the Joker has done some pretty horrible things to Harley. These involve various methods, and include and not limited to throwing her into a vat of industrial chemicals; pushing her out of a window; torturing her by beating, cutting, and hanging her half to death; setting Harley’s own hyenas onto her; planning to kill her in front of the Dark Knight; tried to cut her face off; locked her into a rocket; he killed her and transformed her into a constellation; constantly beating and casting her out before wooing her back; and one time, he didn’t even notice that Harley had left for a year.
And just to clarify, Harley is not blameless in this mess. By the Joker’s own admission, he believes that Harley is crazier than him. The way the Joker controlled and manipulated Harley, only worked because Harley thought his abusive behaviour was a sign that he loved her. It wasn’t.
The Joker would have rather beaten Harley to a bloody pulp than admit he cared for her; as much as a homicidal, sadistic psychopath can care for someone.
Unlike the previous two entries on this list, there is a happy ending of a sort. Harley ultimately left the Joker forever and is now in a loving, positive, and healthy relationship with Poison Ivy. Though whether Harley being involved in another relationship with a villain is a good idea, remains to be seen.
And there you have it. Just like Fat Boy Slim said, “Like a favourite pair of jeans that you won’t give up on,” we need to give up on the idea that these three couples are to be romanticised, admired, or idolised because they don’t deserve it. You wouldn’t wish any family member to be involved in any relationship, similar to these disasters, would you? Well, maybe it depends on the family member.
Have I missed any toxic couples out? As always please let me know. I know I didn’t include Heathcliff and Catherine, but to be honest, this blog got away from me, so I’ll include them next time. 3
Thanks once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. I’m also on Twitter and Mastodon, where I have daily posts, and attempt to be funny.
Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, avoid playing Monopoly at all costs, watch some Rugby World Cup games, and I’ll see you next week.
1 It’s been a long time since I snuck in a Batman reference.
2 This is a shout out to Heathcliff and Catherine. I see you, I see you.
3 I told you I saw Heathcliff and Catherine.
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