Movie Review: Clayface

But I would walk five hundred kilometres
And I would walk five hundred more
Just to be the geek who walked a thousand kilometres to fall down at your door of the cinema

I know, The Proclaimers did (and still do) a far better job at this song than I ever will. However, that’s alright, because I’m not a songwriter; if that wasn’t already self-evident.

No, what I am is someone who suffers from delusions of grandeur, thinking I can make a difference in this mad world. Hence, I pick myself up and try again with another movie review. As keen readers of this popular website, you would have read my blog post about my preview for Clayface, so obviously, here is the sequel: the review about Clayface. If you missed the preview, you can find it here.

Clayface opened in New Zealand on 22nd October and has earned $91.8 million at the box office (At the time of writing). I saw it on Tuesday the 27th, having secured a ticket. You know how this story goes, as I have told it many times, because it never changes too much.

  • I walk into the cinema with my ticket.
  • I take out a personal loan to purchase items from the snack bar.
  • I walk into the theatre and sit down, without anyone asking to see the ticket.

Like the Mongols, there is an exception this time. Usually, on a Tuesday night, because that’s when I usually go to the cinema, the theatre has anywhere from an average of 10-15 people. However, there was only one person in the theatre: me. Now, I need to set the scene, because I got there late, walked in and found my seat.

After sitting down, I noticed nobody else was there, but thought it was fine, because the film still had another eight minutes to start. That time came and went, and as the adverts started, it struck me that I was going to be alone in the cinema. That had not happened since, I believe, X-Men: Apocalypse.

Added to the fact that I knew that I was going to watch a horror movie, in the dark and completely alone, the trailer for The Exorcist: Martyrs came on. “Fuck, no!” I said to myself. You couldn’t pay me enough to see that film in a cinema. No way. The creeping sensations of fear and anxiety were starting to infect me, and I knew, I knew, that was going to be a film I would have absolutely 100% no desire to ever see.

And of course, I reached that decision, sitting in a dark theatre, alone, waiting for an R16 horror movie to start. The things I do for this account, the things I do. That trailer set the tone for me. Cool.

Since one of my questions was how many people Clayface was going to kill, I was prepared to create a tally chart on my phone. I was uber prepared, just like the Dark Knight, if Bruce Wayne had a fiction addiction. And with that, dear readers, let’s move on to the next stage of this delightful endeavour and go over the rules of the review.

1.) Please be aware there will be spoilers concerning the movie, so proceed with extreme anxiety and caution.

2.) The aim of my reviews are not to rip apart the subject or trash it. If I liked the subject enough to watch it, then I’ll give my honest (possibly biased) opinion.

3.) I’m not a professional critic, so I’m not going to dive into deeper concepts and themes, or the art of filmmaking. I’m just a geek; always have been, and always will be.

The coin has been flipped, hands have been shaken, so it’s time for kick-off! Let the wild rumpus review begin!


Credit: Warner. Bros/DC Studios and my local cinema

To begin, we must always acknowledge the first question: did I like Clayface? I have to admit that I did, which surprised me, mainly because it was an R16 horror movie. I would usually never watch this type of movie.

Things I liked:

I’ll be working in no order other than how I remember them. I thought Tom Rhys Harries’ portrayal of Matt Hagen was excellent, as in, he showed Hagen’s humble beginnings from the Narrows in Gotham to Coast City (Green Lantern, anybody?) He did a fantastic job of showing Hagen’s emotions before the attack, but also after it.

The low-budget aspect can be observed within the movie; however, that wasn’t exactly a negative thing. If we are staying within the DCU, it costs a lot of money to show Kryptonians flying around and smashing things, while on alien planets or pocket dimensions. On the other hand, you can spend a lot less money using real-world sets, without the need for a green screen for every second scene. To me, it gave the impression that the city was real and well-lived in. I felt the low-budget vibe of Gotham was quite strong, especially with rubbish everywhere.

I have recently discovered something: if I’m ever invited to go to a nightclub in Gotham, the answer is no. Hell, no!

And speaking of Gotham, that nightclub scene where Hagen was dancing and the dancers were copying his moves- wow, that was creepy as hell, and I loved it! It’s probably going to be on a list of classic horror scenes like the shower scene from Psycho, or the defibrillator scene from The Thing.

For Hagen’s descent into villainy, it was subtle and quite well done. As the viewer, you can empathise with him after the attack; though he was a douche dag, nobody deserves his punishment. Anyway, as the film develops, so do Hagen’s abilities, and his control of them. His first kill, Frank Fitzpatrick, was an accident; his second, Corey, was murder, yet he didn’t start out to kill him.

From this point, you understand that the body count is going to just start climbing, with Hagen going on a warpath of vengeance. You’re rooting for him to succeed; he is the hero of the piece, as all the people he kills are evil. It’s easy to simplify this, and I’m sorry.

In addition to this, the support you give Hagen fades away after John Borrelli, the police detective, interviews him. From that moment on, you realise that Hagen will cross that line from seeking revenge on his enemies to killing innocent people. And of course, when Hagen does indeed kill Borrelli, his transformation into a full-blown villain is complete, almost like Anakin Skywalker becoming Darth Vader after killing the younglings.

As for the way Hagen killed people, he was very creative and resourceful. This, of course, leans heavily into the horror genre, which, for sheer conscience, is one of the great tropes used in these movies: jump scares. The scene where Caitlyn Corr is monitoring Hagen while he was asleep, actually made me jump when he rolled over, and he has transformed into Fitzpatrick. That was quick and effective.

Clayface also achieved a rare event in making a scene unwatchable for me. I do need to point out that it wasn’t because it was terrible. The scene where Hagen is experimenting with his newly discovered powers by cutting his face, just to watch the blood travel back into his body and heal itself, was too much for me.

Remember that I’m not a horror fan, so watching an R16 movie alone, in the dark, observing a character cut up his own face just to see what would happen, was too much for me, as I had to look away. That was horrifying and gorgeous at the same time.

Things I disliked:

Actually, there wasn’t a lot.

I feel Dredd and Clayface have a lot in common, mainly because they both had small budgets, and they had an R rating. That in itself is not a terrible thing because of the content. But many people who are under 16 years old and fans of Batman, DC Comics, superheroes, or comic book adaptations would be unable to watch the film. That would ultimately be reducing the box office returns.

It was interesting that nobody seemed to know anything about Corr’s research, though her treatments did work. Why was she not well known in the medical community?

As for Clayface’s final reveal, it was interesting to see that his face was asymmetrical. True, his face looked grotesque, and I think that was the point, but I’ve seen too many animated and comic book versions of Clayface’s symmetrical face to like something else.

So, what about my preview questions?

  • Which world is Clayface set in: Robert Pattinson’s The Batman or David Corenswet’s Superman? The film didn’t give too much away, but DC Studios explained that Clayface was set in the DCU, which is part of David Corenswet’s Superman‘s world.
  • Since Clayface is set in Gotham, will it be before or during Batman being active? That was harder to judge, so the jury is out on that one; though if I were a betting man, I would say Batman was active.
  • Will any famous Gotham citizens make a cameo? If there were, I totally missed them.
  • Will there be any references to former or ex-Clayface characters? There were a few. Firstly, the studio lot that Hagen entered was called Imperial Pictures. This was the same name as the studio that Hagen worked out of in the Batman: The Animated Series “Feat of Clay.” Secondly, Hagen watched a broadcast detailing the nominees for an award event. The funny thing is that two of the movies, No Man’s Land and One Bad Day, are references to Batman storylines.
  • How many people will Clayface kill? I counted 10 people that he killed.
  • What will be the most horrific death? To be honest, take your pick. Each one was different and brutal.
  • Will the plot make any sense? It actually did, but I have already covered this.
  • Will Hagen be a hero, villain, or anti-hero? He started as a jerk, then victim, then anti-hero, and finally (de)evolved into a villain.
  • Will there be a Batman reference? Again, to the best of my knowledge, it would be a no, as a direct reference.
  • What will, if any, the fight scenes look like? There weren’t that many fight scenes, but they were effective and brutal.
  • How much will the movie lean into body horror vs thriller? I’m not an expert on body horror, but Clayface seemed like a mixture of The Fly and The Substance, which is not a bad thing.
  • How will Hagen be transformed? After the knife attack and multiple surgeries, Hagen turned to Corr for treatment, which involves experimental nanobots. The nanobots redesign Hagen, which allows him to develop different abilities, and after he is tasered and the kill switch is activated, Hagen transforms into a roaring clay monster.
  • Will the reduced amount of budget be obvious in the movie? It was obvious, but I believe it works in its favour.
  • Will Hagen’s downfall be tragic, believable or stupid? Hagen’s downfall is completely tragic because it could have been avoided.

I had the impression that a huge number of people had written Clayface off, and didn’t expect much from it. True, it may not make $200 million, but the film does the precise job it needed to do. For a horror movie, this old geek could handle it.

But anyway, what do I know? Go out and see the movie for yourself, so you can be the judge. And that brings another exciting episode of New Zealand’s 5th least favourite website to a close. Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, follow the aftermath of the NZ general election, and I’ll see you next week.


Sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled blog post

As the title suggests, I am sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled blog post, as I was working on the Clayface Movie Review during the week when I decided to do something, to the best of my knowledge, that I have never done before. I have never advertised a particular blog post for the next week and then written about something else.

Well, today is that day. As you have already guessed, I should have presented you with the Clayface Movie Review; however, because of some events during the week, I decided to change it, mainly to keep ahead of the curve and because I’m the head writer, so I can do what I want.

Basically, this is my way of saying, sorry, but I need to talk about life and death this week. It means this blog post has been assembled very quickly, so the quality will be average, which, let’s be honest, is very consistent with this website.

And what about life and death was so important that I needed to stop writing the Clayface review and write about this immediately? It’s because of Eric Bauza, Walter Koenig, and Sir Patrick Stewart. I wore my one and only Star Trek t-shirt with pride over the weekend.


Image by pixel2013 from Pixabay

Eric Bauza died on 25th October, at his home in Los Angeles, California, United States, aged 46 years old. If you don’t recognise his name, its ok, but I’m sure you can recognise his voice. Bauza started in the entertainment industry as an intern, then production assistant, and finally a voice actor.

He voiced many characters, and some of his notable works in movies, included Flash and Mr. Freeze (DC Super Friends), Dom and Dog Owner (A Cat in Paris), Amadeus Cho (Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher), Ryan Choi (Justice League: Gods and Monsters), The Atom, B’dg, and Jimmy Olsen (Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: The Flash) Two-Face, Laughing Mask Samurai, Antiques Dealer (Batman Ninja), Bracelet Monster, Announcer, Angry Man and Boy (Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus), Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Elmer Fudd, Foghorn Leghorn, and Marvin the Martian (Space Jam: A New Legacy), Splinter, Foot Soldiers, Radio Newscaster, Secret Agent (Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie), and Gen. Button Wutton and Sarangay (Forgotten Island).

Bauza also worked on shows including G.I. Joe: Resolute, Hero: 108, The Looney Tunes Show, Ben 10: Omniverse, Black Dynamite, Ultimate Spider-Man, Teen Titans Go!, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Transformers: Robots in Disguise, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures, The Powerpuff Girls, Guardians of the Galaxy, DuckTales, The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Big Hero 6: The Series, The Mighty Ones, Star Trek: Lower Decks, A Tale Dark & Grimm, Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles, The Adventures of Puss in Boots, Gremlins: Secrets of the Mogwai, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, X-Men ’97, Invincible, and Avatar: Seven Havens, as well as various video games.

Though, to be fair, his most famous roles are legendary characters like Woody Woodpecker, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Elmer Fudd, Foghorn Leghorn, Marvin the Martian, and Bugs Bunny. The first time I heard of Bauza was watching Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League – Gotham City Breakout with UMC1 and UMC2. I thought Bane’s voice was amazing and unique, so I searched for the actor’s name, only to feel stupid to discover Bauza’s massive body of work. As for the boys, they liked him as well, which is high praise from them.

His death is another reason why I need to see Coyote vs. Acme, since Bauza played at least 11 different roles. That’s insane.

Eric Bauza at the 2nd Annual Children and Family Emmy Awards. Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

Walter Koenig was a screenwriter, director, novelist, and actor who died at the age of 90 on 25th October in Los Angeles, California, United States. Koenig was born in Chicago, Illinois, to Russian Jewish immigrants who escaped the Soviet Union. Upon arrival, they changed their surname from Königsberg to Koenig.

His career spanned six decades, involving acting in television shows, movies, and video games, as well as voice acting, in addition to writing five books and working on several television shows as a writer. Koenig was also a humanitarian activist assisting refugees and human rights.

In two of his most famous roles, Koenig played Pavel Chekov, a Russian, from the Star Trek franchise, starting in the second season of the Original series, then expanding to movies, other television appearances, and video games. I only experienced watching Koenig on the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise in movies and reruns, as that’s how Star Trek still existed when I was growing up.

However, I do understand the significance of Koenig’s role as Chekov as an adult, since Star Trek was broadcast during the height of the Cold War and the Civil Rights Movement. It must have blown the audience’s minds watching a space drama set hundreds of years in the future, where you had a white American male, an alien, a Scotsman, an African-American woman, an Asian male, and a Russian male, all working together and respecting each other.

I always thought Koenig was such an underrated actor in that fictional universe, because Chekov was friendly, supportive, and awesome. I believe that a lot of actors in well-known roles can suffer from being typecast, and I think Koenig understood this, as his second famous role was Alfred Bester in Babylon 5.

In this show, Koenig played a villain, or at least an antagonist. I enjoyed Babylon 5, and I remember watching him and thinking, “Wait, Koenig is a bad guy now?” “Damn, that’s cool!”

To me, whenever his face popped up in whatever medium, I couldn’t help but admire his acting ability.

Walter Koenig appears at the Creative Arts Emmy Awards in Los Angeles on Sept. 8, 2018. (Source: Associated Press)

And so, just three days after losing Bauza and Koenig, the great city of Los Angeles claimed another star; this time it was Sir Patrick Stewart. He was 86 years old. Like Koenig, Stewart was another actor whose career spanned over 60 years, which involved acting on stage, in video games, on television, and in movies.

He spent 16 years with the Royal Shakespeare Company from 1966 to 1982, then worked for another 11 years, for a total of 27 years. He was involved in over 40 productions, which included The Merchant of Venice, Hamlet, Henry V, The Taming of the Shrew, King Lear, The Two Gentlemen of Verona, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Hedda Gabler, Bingo, A Miserable Lonely Death, Macbeth, Twelfth Night, Antony and Cleopatra, Othello, and Every Good Boy Deserves Favour, as well as many, many more non-Shakespeare productions.

Stewart’s television career involved animated and live-action shows like Fall of Eagles, Jackanory, The Simpsons, Moby Dick, A Christmas Carol, Animal Farm, Mysterious Island, The Hollow Crown, Family Guy, American Dad!, Blunt Talk, and I, Claudius; plus many more. Some of his filmography included Excalibur, Dune, Lifeforce, L.A. Story, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, The Pagemaster, Conspiracy Theory, The Prince of Egypt, Chicken Little, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, Gnomeo & Juliet, Ted, Green Room, The Sheep Detectives, and countless others.

Among his roles, two made Stewart a household name: Captain Jean-Luc Picard and Professor Charles Xavier. Stewart’s role as Picard in Star Trek: The Next Generation via television and movies cemented his place in Star Trek and pop culture, with his portrayal of the compassionate and intelligent Picard.

These traits also helped Stewart with his other famous role as Professor X in the X-Men movies from Fox, now Disney/Marvel. Portraying the mutant telepath exposed Stewart to new audiences for his acting talents, and brought the beloved leader of the group that protects a world that hates and fears them to life.

These roles offered him two unique, but similar opportunities to be a mentor, to pass on wisdom and knowledge. Yes, the lines were written for him, but the message was never lost on us. In 2010, Stewart was also knighted by Queen Elizabeth II in recognition of his contributions to the arts, to go along with his OBE (Order of the British Empire). Stewart also did various charity work and activism.

Credit: Sporcle

All three men will be missed by millions of people from all different walks of life. And from me, to Eric, Walter, and Patrick, thank you so much for sharing your talents, skills, and lives with us. Your work has made the world a better place. Now, if you excuse me, that’s all, folks, because I need to find the nuclear wessels and I’ll have the Clayface Movie Review next week for you. Make it so.


Movie Preview: Clayface

I’ve been extremely busy running New Zealand’s 5th least favourite website, so I thought it was time to relax and enjoy the finer things in life. And what would that mean, I hear you ask? Why committing time and energy to another infamous Movie Preview/Review, of course, silly rabbit.

If you cast your mind back over winter (summer for some of you), I went on a bender, writing Movie Preview/Reviews for Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu, Supergirl, The Odyssey, and Spider-Man: Brand New Day. I’m going to do Avengers: Doomsday in December, and maybe, just maybe, Wicker in November, but that one is not confirmed. Yet, as the cookie crumbles over the plate, one film has been confirmed for our head writer to explore, and that is Clayface.

I’ve said this before, but I am an old creature of habit, so I’ll be sticking to my non-award-winning template for these preview/reviews. I hope that’s alright, because that’s all I can manage currently as I still enjoy being unconscious at night time.

So…Clayface. This will be DC Studios’ third feature DCU (DC Universe) film after 2025’s Superman and 2026’s Supergirl, which is part of Chapter One: Gods and Monsters. Of course, in saying that, the DCU already exists in the form of many live-action and animated television shows. I have not seen Lanterns yet, as I’m saving that for over the Christmas holidays.

We did see Clayface in Creative Commandos, which was the first entry into the DCU via a television show, which would predate the film…but I’m not sure what world Clayface is set in. However, I am leaning towards James Gunn’s DCU, rather than the offshoot world of Matt Reeves’ Gotham.

I got out of sync with the movie previews/reviews last time, but I remedied the situation by purchasing an advance ticket for Tuesday. I learnt my lesson, so advance tickets are still the way to go. Yes, it’s in the back row, because where else am I going to sit in the theatre?

Sony released a few live-action Spider-Man spin-off films like the Venom trilogy (seen all three), Morbius (not seen), Madame Web (not seen) and Kraven the Hunter (seen). Interestingly, Sony focused on three of Peter’s rogues’ gallery to flesh out their stories. DC and Warner Bros. did this with Black Adam (seen), Joker (seen), and Joker: Folie à Deux (not seen).

They seem to be following the trend of giving a few of the Caped Crusader’s rogues’ gallery some spotlight in the form of Clayface. He has been stirring up trouble for Batman since his first appearance in Detective Comics #40 (June 1940), and he hasn’t stopped. I need to point two things out about Clayface, which make him stand out from the costumed sociopaths and psychopaths that plague Gotham City.

Firstly, Clayface, like Killer Croc, is in a small group of Batman’s villains that actually have superhuman abilities. For this reason, and just like Killer Croc, this makes him a truly scary and underrated character. Secondly, Clayface is unique in another way, because he is a legacy character. So what does that mean?

Basically, a legacy character can be a villain or hero who either takes or is given the title of a pre-existing or established character. They can take the powers, equipment, and costume of the established character, as well as their name. The two characters generally have some sort of connection, but not always. To the best of my understanding, there have been possibly eight different characters that have taken the mantle of Clayface, with one of the most famous being Matt Hagen. And speaking of Matt Hagen, he’s the star of Clayface.

The film cost only US$30–44 million, compared to US$170 million for Supergirl, and US$225 million for Superman. Are DC Studios nervous about another film’s box office performance since both previous DCU film entries slightly underperformed? I have no idea. Also, I need to mention that Clayface is rated R16, at least in New Zealand.

Clayface was written by Mike Flanagan and Hossein Amini, and directed by James Watkins. As for the cast, we have Matt Hagen / Clayface (Tom Rhys Harries), Dr Caitlyn Corr (Naomi Ackie), John Borrelli (Max Minghella), with unrevealed roles with Wil Coban, Ruby Sear, Joshua James, Francesca Corney, David Dencik, Eddie Marsan and Nancy Carroll.

And with that out of the way, let’s dive into the seedy nightlife of Gotham City and see what makes Clayface tick!


Credit: NobodyQuiteLikeMe


Am I looking forward to watching Clayface?

I ask this question of all my prey1, as the answer is always the same: yes. As dedicated followers of this informative echo chamber will attest, one of my goals is to support movies based on comic books; basically, if we stop going to films, the studios will stop making them, and I don’t want that. So, here I am, yet again.

I remember watching Batman: The Animated Series, where Clayface was pure nightmare fuel; so he left an impression on me. For Hagen’s origin, I don’t know if the filmmakers will draw inspiration from Batman: The Animated Series, the comics, or some other place to explain and tell the story, or maybe it’s going to be something original.

Being a legacy Batman villain, I was surprised that the studios gave the green light for a movie about Clayface before Batman, considering there are a lot more famous and iconic villains that could possibly deserve their own movie. But, and hear me out, I wonder if that’s the issue.

From a live-action movie perspective, we have seen the Joker, the Penguin, Catwoman, Two-Face, the Riddler, Mr Freeze, Poison Ivy, Bane, Ra’s al Ghul, Scarecrow, Talia al Ghul, Harley Quinn, Deadshot, Black Mask, Killer Croc, and KGBeast. I think exposing audiences to a new-to-cinema, but old enemy, like Clayface, would be to entice the audience into the theatre. Hell, it’s working for me! Plus, we now have the filmmaking technology to display his powers properly.

What is the movie about?

According to Wikipedia, the premise is this:

After being brutally disfigured by a local mob boss, rising movie star Matt Hagen volunteers as a test subject to restore his original face but experiences a series of horrifying psychological and physical side effects that transform his body into living clay.

To build on this, my local cinema is advertising Clayface as:

“Clayface” unravels one man’s horrifying descent from rising Hollywood star to revenge-filled monster in a story that explores the loss of one’s identity and humanity, corrosive love, and the dark underbelly of scientific ambition.

What can we expect?

The running time is 108 minutes, just the same as Supergirl. Not too long, not too short; it’s in the Goldilocks zone.

One thing I’m looking forward to is the special effects, because as I understand it, Clayface’s abilities will be a blend of CGI and practical effects. I’m a fan of practical effects, not shitty and low-quality ones, but ones where you learn later it was a practical effect, and you are in awe of how the filmmakers did that.

In saying that, I also realise the advantages of having a big movie budget, which can bring Clayface to the silver screen. His regeneration, durability, stamina, and strength will be awesome to see, but, let’s face it, it’s his shapeshifting that brings all the boys to the yard. Whether it’s altering his face, body, or, my favourite, changing his limbs into weapons, will be a sight to behold.

I mentioned the budget before, but it needs to be mentioned again. Does DC Studios not fully believe in the film, because they only invested US$30–44 million, which in itself is hilarious, because that’s more money I’ll ever see in my lifetime. The point is that I hope the money has been invested in the plot and special effects, because Clayface is a fascinating character, and I want to see him as a beautiful and tragic nightmare.

One thing we can expect is Hagen going on a revenge rampage, which is why it’s marketed as a horror movie, instead of a supervillain movie. It does make sense, considering he’s a villain and an enemy of Batman; it’s going to be interesting to see how Tom Rhys Harries plays Matt Hagen. Will he be a hero, villain, or anti-hero?

Obviously, the accident (however or whatever it is) changes Hagen, but what was he like beforehand? I understand Hagen will be an actor, like the original Clayface, Basil Karlo. From there, I can only imagine bodies will start appearing.

I also wonder how similar the movie will be to Clayface’s origin in Batman: The Animated Series, with the Feat of Clay storyline. It introduced Matt Hagen, and you were witness to his tragic downfall and his rebirth as Clayface. Later on in my life of absorbing pop culture, Anakin Skywalker’s fall to the Dark Side and rebirth in Star Wars: Episode III- Revenge of the Sith reminded me of Clayface.

I guess I’m not sure what else to expect, as I want the DCU to succeed, so I’m trying to keep an open mind about it.

Do I have concerns?

What type of fan boy would I be if I didn’t have concerns?

  • Which world is Clayface set in: Robert Pattinson’s The Batman or David Corenswet’s Superman?
  • Since Clayface is set in Gotham, will it be before or during Batman being active?
  • Will any famous Gotham citizens make a cameo?
  • Will there be any references to former or ex-Clayface characters?
  • How many people will Clayface kill?
  • What will be the most horrific death?
  • Will the plot make any sense?
  • Will Hagen be a hero, villain, or anti-hero?
  • Will there be a Batman reference?
  • What will, if any, the fight scenes look like?
  • How much will the movie lean into body horror vs thriller?
  • How will Hagen be transformed?
  • Will the reduced amount of budget be obvious in the movie?
  • Will Hagen’s downfall be tragic, believable or stupid?

I’ll probably leave the theatre cursing myself for not thinking about a particular question, but that always happens. I hope Clayface is a success, though how you define success is up for debate; which I’ll discuss one day. However, it’s not today, nor next week.

It’s that time of year when I need to give you a heads-up about my Mid-Summer break that is coming up, which is just a fancy name for the Christmas holidays. I haven’t worked out the dates yet, but it will be happening in roughly eight weeks.

Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, keep watching the Rugby League World Cup, and I’ll see you next week for the Clayface Review. Look after yourself.


1 Who got that reference?

Star Trek: Dammit Jim, I’m a part-time blogger, not a novelist!

Hailing frequencies open.

I was trying to think of a phenomenal way to introduce this blog, but as usual, like my mum has always said, “If there’s a complicated or confusing way of doing something, then I’ll do it.” So, instead of doing something inspiring and meaningful, I’ve done this. Wow. Not at all confusing.

Moving on, I contacted the department heads of Some Geek Told Me and finally got them into the same room for a brainstorming session on this week’s topic. As usual, the director of marketing and the head of HR started clashing; like always. The Social Media consultant started waffling on about We Didn’t Start the Fire, while the head of sports trivia did not want to discuss the All Blacks and Springboks. That one is still raw.

However, in most cases, the man-child who sits in the corner and tries to look busy suggested Star Trek. And since the others were too busy bickering, the deadline passed, and Star Trek was selected. Cool.

I can only imagine that if this were written by a professional writer, the lead-in would have been better, but sadly, Horatio, this fellow has only finite jest. This badly drawn-out and ill-conceived beginning is now at an end, so let us begin the ode to Star Trek.


Image by Adam Evertsson from Pixabay

So why is Star Trek the topic of today’s rant? Apart from our resident man-child’s suggestion, it’s the 60th anniversary of the first US broadcast of Star Trek: The Original Series, on 8th September 1966, so what better time to discuss my love of Star Trek? Although it is pretty obvious, I love science fiction. This covers books, comics, movies, computer games, and television shows. And with science fiction franchises, there are many that I like, but I have three main ones: Star Wars, Doctor Who and Star Trek.

It’s funny how society likes to divide us up, as you need to be on one side or the other. In that regard, for personal principles and values, it’s important to take a side. However, there are times when not taking a side is exactly the winning move, like DC vs Marvel, Aliens vs Predator, Coke vs Pepsi, or Star Wars vs Star Trek. For me, I love Star Wars, as unlucky readers of this popular blog will attest to, but I love Star Trek as well. Granted, it’s for different reasons, but the love is still there.

So, why do I love Star Trek? Difficult answer, but I’m up for the challenge. I think it boils down to the scope of it: that hundreds of years into the future, humanity has pulled its socks up and solved many global problems, resulting in an explosion of technology and understanding, as well as meeting our stellar neighbours.

In truth, it’s a nice notion that many of the social barriers we have constructed for ourselves have been/will be torn down to usher in a new age. The world of the United Federation of Planets and Starfleet Academy seems so far removed from 2026, it’s almost laughable. But the intent is there.

I love how the uniforms change for each show and era, yet they remain the same. To demonstrate my love for the uniform, I carried a Star Trek Science Officer badge in the breast pocket of my wedding suit.1


Image by blueprint2015 from Pixabay

I have mentioned this before, but the TV shows Star Trek: Discovery, Star Trek: Picard, and Star Trek: Strange New Worlds have reawakened my love for the franchise. I know Season 4 of Strange New Worlds has started, but me being me, I will need to watch the previous season again.

Discovery was a gateway back into the franchise, and I loved the way the USS Discovery used the spore drive to travel, which, at least to me, was highly creative. Picard was great for seeing old friends, while Strange New Worlds has been a chance to meet new friends and villains. It’s been interesting to have the Gorn as the main antagonists, since they’re an alien species that I haven’t seen a lot of, much like the Orion.

Because I’m on this Star Trek wave, I want to start at the beginning and watch Star Trek: Enterprise again. Though, to be fair, I did watch a lot of episodes, but I never got to watch the entire series from start to finish because comics and football got in the way. Not girls, though; I was living my peak-geek life then, so girls were nowhere to be seen.

In saying that, I’ve never seen every single episode of The Original Series, The Next Generation, or Deep Space Nine. There are massive gaps in all the shows that I want to be filled. One of the biggest connections I’ve had to a Star Trek show, prior to Discovery’s launch, was Voyager. It was another show I never completed, but I gave it a damn good try.

It was on Channel Four, and I thought the premise of the show was awesome and simple; they were transported to the other side of the galaxy, so they were just trying to get home. I was at the right age when it was broadcast, and my love for it spilt over into university. I was extremely cool. And by cool, I mean the biggest geek/dork/nerd. I am still in some ways.

As for the films, I’ve loved them too. I can’t remember the first Star Trek film I ever saw, but I can remember the first one I saw at the cinema. Now, back in the day, my dad loved movies; he still does, but his favourites were westerns, war, action, or cop movies. Science fiction movies were not his cup of tea, but James Bond was. He once took me to The Living Daylights, though I was underage. Mum was not happy, but I was.

I remember Mum and my sister went on holiday early, so Dad and I were going to join them, but I think it was going to be nearly a week later, because Dad had trouble getting away from work. I think it was for a wedding; I can’t remember exactly, but it will do for the story. Anyway, I stayed behind to keep him company until he was free to leave, so we got to spend time together, just as boys.

At the time, and where we lived, we received cinematic releases a lot later than the rest of the country, let alone the whole world. I saw that Star Trek V: The Final Frontier was playing, and I asked Dad if we could both go. As I said before, Dad didn’t like science fiction movies or Star Trek, but he still took his geeky son to watch something he personally didn’t want to see. I appreciated that, because every time I watch The Final Frontier, I think of Dad.

Because he took me to the cinema to see that Star Trek movie, I have seen every Star Trek movie since then: Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, Star Trek Generations, Star Trek: First Contact, Star Trek: Insurrection, Star Trek: Nemesis, Star Trek, Star Trek Into Darkness, and Star Trek Beyond at the cinema.2

Another lesson I learnt from that experience was something that I now do as a parent: I take my boys to the cinema each school holidays, where they agree on a movie to watch, even if I have no desire to see it, but we all still go.


Image by Iris,Helen,silvy from Pixabay

I’ve never been one for reading Star Trek novels; I’ve only ever read two Doctor Who novels, compared to the library of Star Wars books at my command. I can’t really explain the division over that, except I’ve started reading some IDW Star Trek comics. I recently read Star Trek: Red Shirts, which was pretty gnarly. I’m waiting for Star Trek: Red Shirts – Ghost of the 21st Century #1 to arrive now.

I love the vehicles, weapons, and technology, but most of all, I love the aliens and alien planets. Vulcans, Betazoids, Klingons, Romulans, Ferengi, Cardassians, Andorians, El-Aurians, Bajorans, and the Borg; but we also can’t forget the Q, or is it just Q? Its one of the greatest aspects to Star Trek and science fiction in general, the ability of creators to dream of bad-arse aliens, with their cultures, vehicles, appearances, and languages. The mind is a fertile place.

I’m not familiar with every single Star Trek character to have ever graced the small screen, as I’m just a middle-aged geek, not the God of Pop Culture. However, there is one character I know well enough, and that’s the OG miracle worker himself, Montgomery Scott. I say this because…well…if your first or last name is Scott, then at some point in your life, some highly unoriginal person, whether they are meeting you for the first time or not, would have said unto you, “Beam me up, Scotty!” When that phrase is spoken to me, I have to suppress the Klingon in me and embrace the Vulcan.

So, to bring this long and pointless exercise to a close, I just want to state that I love Star Trek, and this wannabe science officer is so grateful for it. And that’s it for another week. Did you like Star Trek? As always, please let me know. Remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, Up the Wahs, and I’ll see you next week because we’re off to 1964.

Hailing frequencies closed.


1 I did wear Superman cufflinks as well. Total class act.

2 I haven’t seen Star Trek: Section 31, but that’s a television movie, plus its on Paramount+, so I don’t know if I’ll ever see it.

San Diego Comic-Con 2026: So, what happened?

The staff here at Some Geek Told Me have been working around the clock to bring you the latest news from around the globe.1 And when I say news, I don’t mean politics, sport, crime, or the economy. I know you have no room in your life for such frivolous subjects, so that’s why we thought it was time to bring some much-needed logic and reason to the table.

This is why we pulled out all the stops and spared no expense to bring you our annual San Diego Comic-Con wrap-up!

I do realise some of you amazing people may not have any idea what I’m talking about, and that’s ok; nobody is perfect. Well… nobody living anyway. The point is that San Diego Comic-Con is one of the biggest dates on any geek’s calendar, whether they attend the event or not.

If I can break down the event, it would be this, even though I’m cheating from last year:

San Diego Comic-Con is an opportunity for some of the world’s leading entertainment companies to showcase their upcoming products, including toys, anime, computer games, manga, books, comics, movies, and TV shows, to the ticket-paying fans and the rest of the world.

Once again, the event has been and gone without me attending; however, one fine day, I will win the lottery, and then I’m going there. The queues, the overpriced food, the fans, the creators, the trailers, the back issues- it sounds amazing! Over the course of the event, information trickles out from all sections of the entertainment industry, covering everything you wanted to know, plus stuff you didn’t even know existed! Because of that, it’s my self-appointed job to wade through the content to discover the gems.

However, as with anything on this scantily information-clad blog, there are rules. There are always rules.

1.) I have not read or seen every article or trailer released from San Diego Comic-Con. I can only discuss the things I know about and the things I’m interested in.
2.) Just because a product is on my list doesn’t mean I’ll get to see or purchase it. Quite simply, if something has landed on this list, it has my attention, regardless of whether I watch or purchase it.
3.) I have included some information and trailers that were released just before San Diego Comic-Con. This is because I’m the lead writer on this venture, so what I say goes.

Since I know you’ve been waiting harder than Michael Meyers for Laurie Strode, let’s look at the announcements that were made only for me!


Credit: San Diego Comic-Con

Literature: (Books and Comics)

It’s slim pickings this year, to be honest. There was extra information about Marvel’s Midnight Universe (which I already knew about and had pre-ordered the first issues of the three series a few weeks ago) and some content about some of DC’s new titles, but there were only two comics that were a complete surprise to me.

Batman Day 2026: Batman of Two Worlds #1 (One-shot)

Credit: DC Comics

Indiana Jones and the Sword of Pandemonium #1-5

Credit: Marvel

Star Wars: Edge of the Abyss (Reign of the Empire)

Credit: Random House Worlds

Movies:

A lot of movies were announced at San Diego Comic-Con that will be released between 2027 and 2028, but there were only a few that I cared about that were still being released in 2026.

Coyote vs. Acme

I heard a while ago that this project was shelved, but it seems that the universe has not finished it, and it’s going to see the light of day. To me, the Coyote is one of the world’s greatest optimists. I understand the film is based on Coyote suing Acme because of their faulty products and the damage it has had on Coyote’s physical, financial, mental, and emotional health.

In one of the trailers, it looks like Coyote manages to actually touch Road Runner, after 76 years of trying, along with a shower of cameos. It looks stupid, crazy, and bonkers, so naturally, I want to see it, with or without the boys.

Ebenezer

I know what you’re thinking, seriously, I do. Not another adaptation of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. There have been so many versions of it over the decades, though you can’t go wrong with The Muppet Christmas Carol or Scrooged. Having said that, like a new Shakespeare adaptation, I’m ready and down for another version of A Christmas Carol.

From what I gather, Ebenezer Scrooge is being played by Johnny Depp, the go-to man for quirky or weird characters. Supposedly, the film will flesh out more of the story about Ebenezer, but I’m not 100% sure. I also saw the reference in the trailer to Depp’s first movie role in A Nightmare on Elm Street with the bed. Nice touch.

Whatever the case, Ebenezer Scrooge has one of the greatest, if not the most powerful, redemption arcs in literature, so it will be terrific to see him again.

Clayface

The DCU is still trying to establish itself, since it started with its first movie entries in the form of Superman and Supergirl. Both films have been great, but I would say their box office returns have disappointed the studios. Enter their 3rd entry, Clayface, a member of Batman’s rogues’ gallery, who is one of the few who have legitimate superpowers.

It was a bold move to give Matt Hagen his own movie, and it seems the movie is the offspring of John Wick and The Substance; and for the record, that’s not a bad thing. Whether it’s the right time to bring a bit of horror into the DCU, I can’t say; however, I will be watching this odd nugget in the cinema. Count on it.

Avengers: Doomsday

If you’ve been a follower, supporter, or subscriber of New Zealand’s 5th least favourite website, then this one pretty much speaks for itself. If it’s possible, I want to go to the opening screening at our only cinema this December. I’ll even try to take the day off work, if I have to.

Not counting 1994’s The Fantastic Four, Fox had three cinematic attempts at portraying Latveria’s most beloved ruler and sorcerer correctly, but has failed three times. It’s now Marvel, Disney, and Robert Downey Jr.’s turn, and they really need to get Victor right.

Television shows:

Unlike the movie announcements, there are a lot of TV shows I would like to see. Now, whether that’s a positive or negative thing, I am not smart enough to answer that.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds Season 4

Star Trek: Discovery and Star Trek: Strange New Worlds have reignited my love for all things Star Trek, to the point that I’m trying to track down and watch Star Trek: Enterprise, so I can work my way from the beginning. I’ve also been reading some Star Trek comics, which is quite rare for me.

I’ve been pleasantly surprised with Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, so Season 4 should be awesome. Having the Gorn as the main antagonists throughout the series has been, in my humble opinion, a stroke of genius. I love the show and cast, along with the diverse storylines. With Star Trek’s 60th anniversary just around the corner, the future of Star Trek seems solid.

Lanterns

I realise Lanterns has already started on HBO Max, and it’s part of the DCU, via its television arm. Currently, I’ve just started on Season Three of The Greatest American Hero; it’s a long story. I also realise Lanterns is gathering a lot of backlash, but I have faith in the showrunners; I mean, you have to, right?

Anyway, I will start on Lanterns soon. I have no idea how much of the series will be set off-Earth, but it’s certainly great to see John Stewart (Aaron Pierre) in a live-action role, along with Hal Jordan (Kyle Chandler) and hopefully other notable characters. I have learned that Nathan Fillion plays Guy Gardner and Ulrich Thomsen as Sinestro. Seriously, I’m looking forward to this show, and maybe Kyle Rayner.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power Season 3

Before I go back to this show, I’ll rewatch the first and second seasons, and I think the series is getting better. It ended with devastation, but also laced with hope, which I believe is a good place for a cliffhanger. 19 rings of power have been forged over the two seasons, but that just leaves one ring to be created. The One Ring. The Master Ring. The Ruling Ring.

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
Where the Shadows lie.

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

To my understanding, Sauron, the Dark Lord, does in fact forge the final power ring in the season and sit on his dark throne. Will we see more of the various rings’ abilities? Only time will tell.

Avatar: Seven Havens

We are going back to the world of Avatar. No, not James Cameron’s Avatar; I mean the OG, Avatar: The Last Airbender. I actually discussed this TV show in last year’s San Diego Comic-Con wrap-up, but we only had one image; now we have a trailer. I believe the story is set after the events of The Legend of Korra, with Avatar Korra obviously having passed away, though I don’t know the time jump.

Korra’s world was different from Ang’s because of the march of technology, so I do wonder what the world’s technology will look like now. Having said that, again, to the best of my understanding, some sort of disaster or apocalypse has hit the world, and somehow regressed or devolved civilisation.

I have high hopes for Avatar Pavi, though I have no idea how I’ll ever see it.

Reacher Season 4

Like Lanterns, the new season of Reacher has already started, and I’m going to be there for it. As a character, I like Jack Reacher- sorry, Reacher, my bad; he’s like James Bond, Jack Ryan, Sherlock Holmes and Batman, all rolled into one. My wife has started reading the books, and I will also. One day.

Reacher Season 4 will be on my list for late 2026, if not sometime in 2027. Not that it matters in the scheme of things, of course.

And speaking of the scheme of things, I know there’s a massive amount of things going wrong in the world, but there’s also a lot of positive. I fear sometimes the negative can drown out the positive, and it can convince you that the world is broken because of A, B and C. That could be the case, but D, E and F are fighting to rebalance it. The world’s not a lost cause, because you and me, well, we’re still here, and that counts for something.

Yes, reviewing the announcements from a pop culture event is petty and vain, but it’s not ignoring the pain of the world; it’s there to humble it.

There was probably a vital piece of information that I missed from San Diego Comic-Con, so as always, please let me know.

That delightful transition brings us to the end of another blog for another week. Remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, Up the Wahs, and I’ll see you next week for the return of the least recommended tour in the Solar System.


1 Flat Earthers, it sucks to be you.

Movie Review: Spider-Man: Brand New Day

Friends, Bloggers, Internet users, lend me your ears! The moment has arrived when the truth shall be finally revealed to you. Yes, my young padawans, my review of Spider-Man: Brand New Day is upon us, as you have waited long enough. In truth, waiting two weeks isn’t that bad, but the time frame could have been worse.

This juggernaut of a movie is smashing the box office, having earned, at the time of writing this well-read blog, US$1.843 billion, which still just boggles my mind.1 So, let’s follow the template I have set for myself and see where it leads. If you missed the preview, you can find it here.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day opened in New Zealand on 30th July, although I only managed to see it last week. It was another typical cold, dark winter Tuesday night at the only cinema in town. Armed with a pre-bought ticket and with expensive snacks from the counter, I was ready to be entertained, and so were 22 other people.

There was a trailer for the new Jason Statham movie, Mutiny, where I think he is trying to kill a cargo ship. You can’t go wrong with a Statham movie for a date night. Anyway, before I dissect Marvel Studios’ 38th film, I want to discuss an epiphany I had after the film. As I was making my way home, it occurred to me that the way I consume movies at the cinema has changed.

I go to the cinema for roughly two different reasons now. The first one is when my wife and I, or just me, take UMC1 and UMC2, which is essentially a family event. In that regard, I’m there to watch whatever crazy-arse movie the boys want to see, usually in the school holidays. There’s no preview to write, and certainly no review, apart from the debrief with the boys about their favourite moments in the movie.

The second reason I’m at the cinema is now to review a movie. This means instead of sitting in my seat waiting for the film to start, and just being happy for the experience, I’m finding myself remembering my preview questions and preparing to store various scenes of the movie into useless parts of my mind. This has transformed my cinematic experience into a venture of criticism.

Whether this is a new positive or negative aspect of my personality, I’ll have to wait for God to fill me in. And with that delightful notion, let’s go over the rules of the review.

1.) Please be aware there will be spoilers concerning the movie, so proceed with extreme anxiety and caution; even after 2,000 years.

2.) The aim of my reviews are not to rip apart the subject or trash it. If I liked the subject enough to watch it, then I’ll give my honest (possibly biased) opinion.

3.) I’m not a professional critic, so I’m not going to dive into deeper concepts and themes, or the art of filmmaking. I’m just a geek; always have been, and always will be.

With the introduction now complete, along with Obi-Wan’s failure; and since we’re not here to watch Count Binface dance, let’s get on with the review!


Credit: Marvel Studios/Disney and my local cinema

Because it’s rare for me to deviate from this course of action, the first step is to discuss whether I liked the film or not, and as usual, I did. The MCU can still entertain me after 18 years, which means I’m still invested in it, as well as everybody’s favourite friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man. To be honest, I’ll always give a damn about ‘Ol Web-head.

Things I liked:

Following the plan, I’ll fire these off in no special order, as I don’t want my OCD to be that intense.

Right off the bat was the introduction by Tom Holland at the start of the movie. I can’t remember if I have ever seen an actor talking directly to the audience to thank them for watching the movie, as well as pointing out that the entire production crew have pulled out all the stops to make the best film possible, because they love Peter Parker, just like us. It was cool.

And speaking of cool, I was impressed by Parker’s Spider-Man suit, because it looked…amazing and spectacular.2 It looks quite comic-accurate, though to be fair, does it have to? The homage to Amazing Fantasy #15 was not lost on me either; it was…amazing.3

I liked the symmetry in the interactions between the characters. In No Way Home, Tobey Maguire’s Peter Parker attempts to stop Tom Holland’s Peter Parker from killing Willem Dafoe’s Norman Osborn. This mirrors Holland’s Peter Parker trying to prevent Sadie Sink’s Jean Grey from killing Tramell Tillman’s Bill Metzger. It’s an interesting form of compasssion, no matter how you want to describe it.

The parallels between the two scenes were strong, with Parker learning his lesson and trying to make sure Jean Grey doesn’t make the mistake of killing Tillman. It’s one of Parker’s strongest traits to uphold his own personal belief system, to himself, the world, and to his friends and allies, like the Punisher, and now, Jean Grey.

Now, let’s discuss Jean Grey. I understand that with Disney’s acquisition of Fox, they finally got the movie rights back for the Fantastic Four and the X-Men. Rather than quickly stuffing these characters into movies, they bided their time, which was clever. They did this by introducing the Fantastic Four as being from another universe, and it looks like the X-Men, or at the earliest, mutants, will come from the main universe; not counting the X-Men Fox Universe.

So we have now been introduced to at least two mutants, with Jean Grey, with the first being Namor. How Marvel is going to continue to introduce mutants in the main universe remains to be seen, although Avengers: Doomsday and Avengers: Secret Wars will deal with the Fox X-Men.

It will be great to follow Jean’s heroic journey through the MCU, because when we first met her, she was already an adult in X-Men, as Famke Janssen. Having her on a quest to find her sister, Sara, a forgotten Marvel character, was key to seeing how loyal she can be, but also how powerful she can really be.

I can’t be sure about it, but I was wondering: when Damage Control was running the experiments on Sara and Jean, it gave me the idea that maybe the computer programme they were running was an early or prototype version of Cerebro. I will laugh and laugh if I’m correct about that.

Another thing that impressed me was Scorpion’s fighting style, as in controlling his tail like a limb, similar to Doctor’s Octopus’ arms. When he was fighting Spider-Man, it was fantastic to see him use his tail like that, as it was extremely smart and creative.

I also can’t be the only person to notice the similarities between Parker being accidentally shot while saving someone by the Punisher and the Death of Spider-Man storyline in Ultimate Spider-Man Vol 1 from 2011, where Ultimate Peter Parker is accidentally shot by the Ultimate Punisher while saving Ultimate Captain America.

Yes, it’s true: Ultimate Punisher did not kill him, as Parker returned home to fight the Ultimate Green Goblin, aka Norman Osborn. And yes, Ultimate Parker indeed died defeating Ultimate Osborn, but he did so with the bullet wound from the Ultimate Punisher, so at worst, the Ultimate Punisher aided in Ultimate Parker’s death, since he couldn’t fight the Ultimate Green Goblin at 100%. Comic books- who would read them?

I enjoyed Parker’s and Frank Castle’s relationship too, but also their performances, along with everybody else’s. Obviously, Holland and Zendaya’s relationship is jumping from behind the camera to in front of it, but it still works. Mark Ruffalo, Florence Pugh, Sadie Sink, Jacob Batalon, and Jon Bernthal all understood the assignments and were fantastic.

I’ve mentioned this before, but since I don’t have Disney+, I have no idea what’s been happening in the MCU TV shows. That being the case, I don’t know if Damage Control has been seen in the shows or not. Regardless, it was great to see them in the movie, though it seems like their cinematic portrayal and their comic counterparts are different, with vastly different company objectives. Still, it was nice to see them, as they’re an overlooked and underrated corner of the Marvel Universe.

Things I disliked:

I realise this film is getting attention through vast amounts of money and great acting performances, along with positive praise among critics and fans, but that doesn’t mean it’s invulnerable to criticism.

I may have missed this point, as there was a lot of information fired at us, in addition to being revealed, but when we left Parker at the end of No Way Home, Parker had moved into a new apartment; but when Brand New Day rolled around, Parker was in a completely different apartment.

That in itself is not a problem, but what is a problem is that, to the best of my knowledge, the film never clears up what Parker does outside of the mask. I suppose something in the film clears it up; it could be referred to as his university- maybe Empire State University, but it’s not clear. What exactly does Parker do? Does he study or work or both?

Because this leads us to another question: what does Parker do for money? Does he have an income stream, and what is it? Does he live off money earned as Spider-Man? Is he, in fact, a part-time photographer for the Daily Bugle, or does he have another job? How does he afford to live in that apartment?

One of the key reasons Peter Parker has been so relatable to readers is that he has shared many problems that are grounded in reality, namely paying his bills, but also helping with Aunt May’s bills. Of course, in this universe, Aunt May is dead, but Parker does not seem to have any money issues that I saw. Why is that?

Another thing to add to this issue is the fact that his suit is back to being powered by AI. At the end of No Way Home, Parker had opened a new chapter for himself, with a non-tech suit, via a homemade fabric suit. Years later, he seems to have upgraded the suit, forgetting the lessons he learnt in all of the previous films. He’s become the new Tony Stark, and I feel that’s not his role.

When advertising a movie, Marvel can sometimes be a little deceptive with its trailers and press releases. An example of this in Brand New Day was information released about Tombstone, Boomerang, Tarantula, The Hand, and Ramrod, and I thought it was all true.

To my disappointment, Tombstone was in the film for roughly two minutes, though an argument could be made for only one minute. While the trailers featured Spider-Man fighting Boomerang and Tarantula, the movie’s footage featured the identical footage as the trailer. Basically, the amount of time that you saw of Boomerang and Tarantula in the trailers was the same in the movie. As for Ramrod, he didn’t feature in the trailers, but he had the same amount of screen time as the other two.

I do have some issues around the Punisher. Again, having not seen the MCU TV shows, how can the Punisher be walking the streets, or in a Damage Control building with agents and a hospital, AND NOT BE ARRESTED?

How in the hell did he walk out of the Damage Control without being arrested, considering Metzger and his agents were staring at him? How can the Punisher, one of the largest serial killers in the United States of America, just walk into a hospital with a bleeding Spider-Man, be allowed to stay in a hospital room, and slip out without being notified to the police and not be arrested? How?

And speaking about the Punisher, how does he finance his war on crime? Where does the money come from to buy these powerful guns? How did he get his Battle Van fixed and repaired so quickly after it was badly damaged the previous day, or does he just have a spare Battle Van lying around?

As for the hospital scene, at no point did the film address the fact that multiple hospital staff would have seen Peter’s face, since his mask was removed. Regardless of whether they know his identity or not, they have seen his face, which means supervillains and criminals could capture and torture the information from the hospital staff, as well as securing footage from the hospital’s surveillance.

I also feel terrible for bringing this up, but Jean’s hypocrisy was farcical. At the climax of the film, when she has Metzger under her control, she complains about how evil he is and that he’s a murderer, but she has completely skipped over her own actions. With Jean mentally controlling people, she has destroyed careers, cars, and buildings, along with getting people arrested, in addition to injuring people, with the possibility of killing one person who got hit by a bus. Bruce Banner is now locked up in a psychiatric hospital because of her.

In her speech, she accepted no responsibility for her actions, especially for creating a psionic field. Who knows how many people were killed when she did that? At some point, Jean will need to own up to her actions.

I think I have mentioned this before in the Thunderbolts* and Captain America: Brave New World reviews, but when something like a psionic field appears in New York, of all places, why is it that no extra superheroes turn up to help? Not a single one? If the MCU is interconnected as they say it is, why don’t these events mean anything to the world, because nobody, absolutely nobody, from any superhuman team or government department arrived to lend a hand? Not even Daredevil?

To round it out, Parker’s transformation seemed to mean nothing. He solved the problem, but simply making friends? Does this mean that if Parker ever feels lonely or isolated again, he will revert to the “Spider” persona? Does he still have access to his organic webbing or not? I thought the resolution to this problem was rather weak.

So, what about my preview questions?

  • Is having four different villains, Scorpion, Tombstone, Boomerang, and Tarantula, too many? Will they be working together? No, this was not like Spider-Man 3, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, or Spider-Man: No Way Home, where, wherever you looked, there was a villain. Like I said before, Boomerang, Tarantula, and also Ramrod had blink-and-miss-them cameos; Tombstone had two minutes at most, while Scorpion had the largest role. They were not working together.
  • How will Black Widow be introduced in the movie? She was like an information consultant because Peter needed information about the person attacking Damage Control facilities.
  • Will it be revealed how Peter has built a life out of thin air, considering Peter Parker does not exist? It was not explained or touched on at all.
  • Will Ned start to turn against Peter or Spider-Man? In the film, there was no red flag to indicate his eventual betrayal.
  • Does Matt Murdock/Daredevil or Kingpin make an appearance? Sadly, they were absent.
  • Will Jean Grey be classified as a mutant? To the best of my knowledge, she was referred to as “special.”
  • Will there be any form of early mutant legalisation? Nothing, but I wonder if Parker’s inhibitor will be the basis of the mutant collar inhibitor.
  • Will the transformations Peter goes through be permanent? Totally unclear. Maybe he still has his organic webbing, but by the end, he’s back to his normal self; though he could revert under the wrong conditions, I think.
  • Does Peter know Boomerang, outside of his mask? No idea, because Boomerang had no lines, and in the film for three seconds.
  • What is the Hand doing in the film? They are reformed and working for Damage Control.
  • Can we expect any other cameos, whether Avengers or X-Men? Apart from Black Widow and the Hulk, there was also the appearance of Detective Jean DeWolff. Does that mean Sin-Eater is coming?
  • Will Bruce Banner be able to help Peter? He did after having a conversation about suppressing mutations.
  • Is Morlun involved in the movie? Once again, sadly no.
  • Will Peter try to break up Mary Jane’s relationship with her boyfriend? That’s a good question, because yes, he did. However, the end of the film revealed that they have become friends again.
  • Will there be a Doctor Doom reference? If there was, I missed it. There was an end-credit scene that showed Peter was in space via the Spidey-Tracker, but that was it.

Overall, I enjoyed the film, and it just reaffirmed my belief in the character. Spider-Man is in my top five favourite Marvel characters, so to show my support, I have preordered Midnight Spider-Man #1, which is being released in October. I’ll have to let you know my thoughts about that issue, along with Midnight X-Men #1 and Midnight Fantastic Four #1.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day is a solid and entertaining movie. Anyway, don’t trust me; go watch it for yourself, so you can be the judge. Have you seen Spider-Man: Brand New Day? Please tell me your thoughts about it. I would love to know.

The next MCU movie is Avengers: Doomsday in December, which I will preview and review. However, the next preview/review will either be Clayface (my decision) or Wicker (my wife’s choice), whichever one is released first. Clayface is in my wheelhouse, but Wicker is not, but I’ll give it a go anyway; mainly because my wife thinks I can’t preview/review a romantic fantasy comedy. Challenge accepted!

Ok, that’s another blog for another week. Thanks once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, follow Nigel Farage’s Parliamentary investigation, and I’ll see you next week, where we discuss the news from San Diego Comic-Con. It’s hard-hitting investigative journalism!


1 Not The Juggernaut of course, because as Spider-Man knows all too well, nothing stops the Juggernaut!

2 If anybody is clever enough to understand that reference, please let me know.

3 Sorry, its the last one.

Movie Preview: Spider-Man: Brand New Day

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Here we are again, for the final time this Winter, for a movie preview/review. Yes, the Moirai, or should that be Disney, have decreed that I commit more time to this amazing venture, which, to my humble credit, I have gracefully said, “Sure, bro.”

The FIFA World Cup seems a distant memory, along with the first half of the Nations Championship, though the Clacton by-election is this week, so hopefully God has a sense of humour, and Nigel Farage will lose to Count Binface. Dreams are free, mate, dreams are free. I’ll mention the winner next week, so stay glued to New Zealand’s 5th least favourite website.

With all of that cool stuff out of the way, we need to discuss Spider-Man: Brand New Day. This hasn’t happened for a long time on this amazing account, but the film has been out since 30th July, and I’m just releasing a preview. However, just to lay your fears to rest, I’ll be watching the film tomorrow at 8 pm, since I’ve secured my ticket for the screening. Old habits are hard to break.

Before I stumble into another awful attempt at alliteration and previewing a superhero movie, we need to discuss the elephant in the room, or should that be the $1 billion at the box office. I’m never going to do this again, as in wait so long to write a preview of a movie, when it’s already been released, generated $1 billion, as well as trying to avoid memes, reviews, and posts about the film.

Never again; it’s been too awkward and stressful. It also means some things that I would have asked in my preview questions have already been answered.

I have tried so hard to block out information about the film, but some information has bled through, though it’s to be expected. Spider-Man: Brand New Day has been on people’s radar for a while. It’s no secret that the film is the 38th entry in the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe), with the 39th being Avengers: Doomsday, due in theatres in December 2026. I’ll be nearly on holiday for that one, so we’ll see how that pans out. This is a classic example of a first-world problem.

Anyway, Spider-Man: Brand New Day gives us the first appearance of Peter Parker since Spider-Man: No Way Home in 2021. Of course, the MCU has kept chugging out cinematic content since then, with Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Thor: Love and Thunder, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, The Marvels, Deadpool & Wolverine, Captain America: Brave New World, Thunderbolts* and The Fantastic Four: First Steps; with The Marvels being the only MCU film I have not seen, and its proved difficult to rent. Another first-world problem in action.

The cast is Peter Parker / Spider-Man (Tom Holland), Michelle “MJ” Jones-Watson (Zendaya), Jean Grey (Sadie Sink), Ned Leeds (Jacob Batalon), Frank Castle / Punisher (Jon Bernthal), Yelena Belova / Black Widow (Florence Pugh), and Bruce Banner / Hulk (Mark Ruffalo); though there are others, I need to move things along.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day was directed by Destin Daniel Cretton (who previously directed Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) and written by Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers, who both have co-written other MCU films like Spider-Man: Homecoming, Ant-Man and the Wasp, Spider-Man: Far From Home, and Spider-Man: No Way Home. Its armed with a budget of an estimated US$225 million, roughly the same as The Avengers’ budget from 2012.

So, sit back and relax, while we continue our dive into Phase Six with Spider-Man: Brand New Day! Let’s do it!


Credit: UMC1 and UMC2’s Lego collection

Am I looking forward to watching Spider-Man: Brand New Day?

Yes, yes, of course, the answer is yes. As I said before, the last time we saw Peter was in Spider-Man: No Way Home, not counting 2023’s Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. Now, I’ve mentioned this several times when writing these world-famous previews, but I don’t have Disney +, so I haven’t seen any of the MCU TV shows.

This means I don’t know what’s been happening with Moon Knight, Daredevil, Wonder Man, but more importantly, for the context of the movie, Hulk and the Punisher. I really have no idea what they have been doing, other than being green and shooting people.

Tom Holland’s Spider-Man has become a vital cog in the MCU machine, mainly because we have watched Peter grow up, secure some victories, but also suffer defeats, and we’ve been there along the way. It’s almost like checking in on an old mate that you don’t get to see often.

The title, Brand New Day, obviously sets up, to me at least, a possible opening chapter in a new Spider-Man film trilogy, featuring the word, Day, similar to Home, in Spider-Man: Homecoming, Spider-Man: Far From Home, and Spider-Man: No Way Home. However, I have been known to be wrong. From time to time.

Comic book fans will recognise Brand New Day as the follow-up storyline to one of Marvel’s worst Spider-Man storylines, One More Day, though the Clone Saga and Sins Past could give One More Day a run for its money. I remember that as soon as I had read all of the issues in One More Day, I sold it as soon as I could, because I didn’t want it under the same roof as me. I hated it.

Brand New Day was a reset for the Spider-Man titles, with Peter being single and living his best life with new friends and enemies, after he made a deal with Mephisto to save Aunt May from death, by giving up his marriage to Mary Jane, by allowing Mephisto to remove it from reality. I believe the thinking at the time was to align the Spider-Man from the comics to the Spider-Man from the films, namely, Sam Raimi’s trilogy, and to make him single and younger. Again, I hated it.

Having Mephisto remove people’s knowledge of Peter and Mary Jane’s marriage from reality was lifted from One More Day, and used in No Way Home, but instead of Mephisto, it was Doctor Strange removing people’s knowledge of Peter being Spider-Man. Comics and movies, what a deadly combination.

What is the movie about?

According to Marvel.com, the premise is this:

It’s a BRAND NEW DAY for Peter Parker. Fighting crime full-time as Spider-Man in a world that doesn’t remember him—and the pressure of seeing his old friends move on without him—sparks a change in Peter he may not have the power to control. But that transformation might also be the only thing that can stop a shocking new threat to the city and those he loves—a powerful villain no one can even see.

What can we expect?

The running time is 145 minutes, which places it roughly around the same time as The Avengers, from way back in 2012. I saw that film three times at the cinema, what a geek. I’m not 100% sure how much time has passed since Spider-Man: No Way Home, especially because the MCU is a bit funky. Still, with research, it says that No Way Home was set in 2024, and Brand New Day is in 2028.

From the trailers, Peter is going through a transformation reminiscent of “The Other” storyline, which appeared in Spider-Man comics as a crossover between the titles. In it, Peter is pursued by a freaky, universe-hopping life-force vampire named Morlun, who defeats him, transforms, and is reborn. It will be interesting to see how much of “The Other” is used in the movie.

From the trailers, it appears that Peter will be able to create organic webbing, similar to Toby Maguire’s Spider-Man (Earth-96283) and Spider-Man Noir (Earth-90214/90214B). This is a great reminder that I still need to watch Spider-Noir, because it looks awesome.

I think one of the biggest things to remember before you see the film is the fact that Doctor Strange removed the planet’s knowledge of Peter Parker being Spider-Man, but also that Peter Parker even exists at all, which includes from Mary Jane/MJ and Ned.

I can only imagine that a large chunk of the film will handle Peter trying to reestablish his relationships with them. Will this film lay the seeds of Ned’s ultimate evolution, turning him into the Hobgoblin, thus continuing the trend of Peter’s BFF becoming a supervillain and trying to kill him?

As a side note, it would be extremely difficult for Peter to live, considering there would be no record of him even existing; he’s a ghost. He would have to go and get official documents stating who he was, as well as proof that he’s a US citizen; otherwise, he would be deported. Also, try to imagine the levels of madness it would take if you knew lots of information about different people and the world, but nobody, and I mean nobody, knew anything about you.

The trailers also give the impression that Peter and Frank Castle, aka The Punisher, have some sort of working relationship, since, as Spider-Man, Peter calls him “Frank” in a plea for help. However, it’s unclear whether Peter has revealed his identity to Frank. I could be wrong about what I’ve seen, but it seems like Frank and Peter are acting like brothers, as in supporting each other, as well as bickering and arguing. Watching them debate the morality of killing criminals would be interesting. It also suggests that Dr Bruce Banner has not remembered who Peter is, so their relationship would be awkward as well.

With the known villains, Marvel has been very loose with these details, considering the amount of public knowledge of the characters, because of the trailers and toys, like the plague of Ooshies that have infected the world. These include Scorpion (last seen in Spider-Man: Homecoming), Tombstone, Boomerang, and Tarantula, along with The Hand.

The Hand provides me with a great transition point, since, to the best of my understanding, they have featured in the MCU TV shows. Similar to the Disney + Star Wars shows, there is so much I have missed with the MCU shows that sometimes I feel that there’s no point getting Disney + because of the massive back catalogue. Like I said, sometimes.

Before the movie was released, there was speculation as to Sadie Sink’s role, so when the trailer was released, people started to guess the identity of the entity that was somehow taking over people or possessing them. The internet is a fertile place for growing conspiracy theories, and for once, the conspiracy theorists were correct that the mystery villain was, in fact, Jean Grey. It’s a weird feeling knowing a key piece of hidden information about a movie, before you watch it, considering you have a ticket in your hand.

Since Jean Grey is involved, my questions about the X-Men, or at least mutants, will be discussed. Hopefully, we will see some fantastic fight scenes, along with powerful emotional scenes, with Peter trying to reconnect with people. Who knows?

Do I have concerns?

One day, I’ll answer this question by saying I have no concerns, but it’s not today. That being the case, here are my concerns about a film that has earned US$1.6 billion at the box office:

  • Is having four different villains, Scorpion, Tombstone, Boomerang, and Tarantula, too many? Will they be working together?
  • How will Black Widow be introduced in the movie?
  • Will it be revealed how Peter has built a life out of thin air, considering Peter Parker does not exist?
  • Will Ned start to turn against Peter or Spider-Man?
  • Does Matt Murdock/Daredevil or Kingpin make an appearance?
  • Will Jean Grey be classified as a mutant?
  • Will there be any form of early mutant legalisation?
  • Will the transformations Peter goes through be permanent?
  • Does Peter know Boomerang, outside of his mask?
  • What is the Hand doing in the film?
  • Can we expect any other cameos, whether Avengers or X-Men?
  • Will Bruce Banner be able to help Peter?
  • Is Morlun involved in the movie?
  • Will Peter try to break up Mary Jane’s relationship with her boyfriend?
  • Will there be a Doctor Doom reference?

As always, there’s probably going to be some questions to ask after the film. Are you planning on watching Spider-Man: Brand New Day, or have you already seen it? As always, please let me know.

I’m sorry if this preview is a tad shorter than usual, but I just want to watch the film while eating and drinking vastly over-priced items. And that’s another blog for another week.

Last Thursday, it was -5 °C at 6 am, which is just madness to me, because I’ve been going to bed wearing a hoodie and a beanie. I want to wear my dressing gown and slippers to work to be warm, but I’m sure it would be frowned upon.

Thanks once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, and if you can vote in the Clacton by-election on 13th August, remember that it’s bin day. Bin for the Win!! Please make Nigel Farage unemployed.

Take care, and I’ll see you next week for the Spider-Man: Brand New Day Review!


Movie Review: The Odyssey

The start of August has brought the Commonwealth Games to a close, along with the second part of my world-famous movie preview/reviews, in the form of The Odyssey. This Winter (Maybe Summer for you) has been very busy for the staff of Some Geek Told Me, since The Odyssey is the third preview/review of the season, which started with Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu, and Supergirl, but will end with Spider-Man: Brand New Day, which just opened.

My astonishing and riveting preview for The Odyssey can be found here.

In my last review, I talked about how predictable I can be, specifically regarding my use of the same preview and review template and my habit of purchasing advanced movie tickets. However, I must warn you to brace yourself for a surprise: I have changed my usual approach. You can teach an old dog new tricks!

If you’ve read the preview, you would have discovered the shocking revelation that has shaken the pop culture world to its core! Well…maybe not that far. Anyway, because I was on my break, I watched The Odyssey without an advanced ticket, and the planet did not stop spinning. Who would have thought?!

Because we only have one cinema, it’s hit-or-miss whether the theatre you are in will be busy or not. Case in point, after purchasing my ticket, drink and snacks to fuel me through the upcoming three hours, and to cry about the cost, I noticed that the theatre had 23 people in it, which was very busy for a Tuesday night.

I also noticed that 2026 is the year of Zendaya, based on the fact that I was sitting in a theatre waiting to see The Odyssey, where I also experienced the trailers for Spider-Man: Brand New Day, and Dune: Part Three; two films that I will see at the cinema. Now, whether she is in Avengers: Doomsday or not, I can’t say, but whatever the case may be, she seems to be everywhere.

Alright, I think the only thing left to do is to cover the rules for the review:

1.) Please be aware there will be spoilers concerning the movie, so proceed with extreme anxiety and caution; even after 2,000 years.

2.) The aim of my reviews are not to rip apart the subject or trash it. If I liked the subject enough to watch it, then I’ll give my honest (possibly biased) opinion.

3.) I’m not a professional critic, so I’m not going to dive into deeper concepts and themes, or the art of filmmaking. I’m just a geek; always have been, and always will be.

And that is it. The key has turned, the coin has been flipped, and the Joker has escaped from Arkham again. So without further delay, let’s get on with the review!


Credit: Universal Pictures and my local cinema. I’m very sorry, but some random idiot managed to catch his reflection on the glass, while taking a photo. What a moron.

One of the first things we need to discuss is whether I liked the movie. As usual, I did. What a surprise! Now, before I expand on this concept, I’m going to try really hard not to compare the film to the poem. Why is that? What a wise and just question that was, my liege. Hundreds of other people would have already done this, so my two cents wouldn’t change the narrative around that, nor will I try to judge Odysseus’ actions. Ok, maybe I’ll do that, just a little.

Things I liked:

I tend to allow my rants to flow, so there’s no real structure or order to them. I’ll start with one of the scenes that hit me the most: Argos. I did mention Ancient Greece’s most loyal dog in the preview, as in, I hoped he would be cut from the film. This is because I can’t handle the death of a fictional dog, much the same as the death of a real dog. No, that’s not true.

Basically, I didn’t want to see Argos finally see his master after 20 years and die, because I would start weeping. Oh no, Christopher Nolan hit me below the belt, with footage of Argos’ siblings being murdered, and Odysseus choosing him, thus saving him. Showing the audience the developing bond between Argos and Odysseus actually made me get all of my crying done, so when Argos died, his death was more like Luke Skywalker’s death in Star Wars: Episode VIII-The Last Jedi. For an audience member, that extra scene was great, but as a dog lover, it was brutal.

Anne Hathaway’s speech as Penelope to Tom Holland’s Telemachus, about being the one who has sat on the throne of Ithaca for the last 20 years and unofficially ruled, was powerful, poignant, and emotional. Penelope is imprisoned on her own island, and Hathaway did a great job at displaying the conflicting feelings she had about the whole crisis.

And speaking of crisis, Robert Pattinson’s Antinous was terrible, but in the best way. Antinous was a typical villain who sought to gain power and become a leader, but didn’t want to take any physical action himself to make things happen. He would rather make other people do the work, like ordering Telemachus to be ambushed and assassinated, but not be a part of it himself. Plausible deniability in action.

This concept was never more on display than during the slaughter of the suitors. Antinous, hiding from the battle and ordering others into the fight, made me laugh because it just reinforced how much of a coward he was, with the seeds planted back when he traded places with Sinon. Kudos to the fight choreography for that scene, especially having the weapons being fed into the fight via a hole in the ceiling.

The scene with the Laestrygonians was brutal as well, especially the part where they were capsizing the boats and killing the survivors. It would be a terrifying experience to encounter an enemy that seeks your total annihilation, without any verbal threats. The Ithacans were massacred, losing over 60% of their surviving forces. There were no compromises, almost like Terminators.

Charybdis and Polyphemus were both outstanding, so after the film, I researched how they were created, and like I just said, they were outstanding. I also thought it was a smart idea not to show you what the Sirens looked like, as well as what their song sounded like.

For the Trojan Horse, I watched Nolan’s interview about its origin. I thought it was very creative to have the horse wheel-less, as well as being half-buried in the sand. It goes against the idea and concept of the Trojan Horse, and as Katy Perry said, I liked it. Another scene I liked was the journey to the Underworld, or at least, a part of Hades. The imagery was superb and terrifying, as Sinon drank blood to talk, and the dead chased the survivors. Having the actors emerge from the black sand was genius and added to the surreal nature of the scene.

With Circe, I fell into a trap and expected to see the transformation of the soldiers into pigs, to be done via CGI. Well, don’t I need to go and stand in the corner with a dunce’s hat on?! I thought the practical application of Samantha Morton physically altering the face and bodies of Odysseus’ men was equally amazing and horrifying; especially the shot where she stretched her arm down a soldier’s throat was jaw-dropping.

I think it was important to keep visiting Zeus’ law or Xenia, as in being respected and honoured, versus breaking it. Throughout the film, xenia was constantly being respected and disrespected, which, of course, leads to the destruction of Troy and Odysseus’ 10-year journey home. When the “Sea People” were first mentioned, concerning a group of seafaring people, raping, pillaging, and killing along the various coastlines, I knew it was the Greeks, because let’s be honest, how could it not be?

I know The Odyssey and Nolan’s other recent film, Oppenheimer, forces their main protagonists to confront what they have unleashed upon the world, while witnessing the damage and carnage, having never stopped to consider the consequences of trying to be the smartest person in the room.

It’s always interesting to note that Odysseus knows how important xenia is to the gods, but he keeps breaking it; though it finally catches up with his morality and conscience on Ithaca.

There are other things I liked, but we can’t spend the whole time bogged down in the section, so as the All-American Rejects said, we need to move along.

Things I disliked:

Just like any movie, some elements didn’t sit well with me. The first is with the armour, mainly Agamemnon’s and the Trojans. Agamemnon, the King of Mycenae, King of Men, and the Supreme Commander of the Greek Forces, needed to look different from the other Greek leaders and kings.

His large black armour looked extremely bad-arse, but I think that’s the problem. The war has been raging for 10 years, though to be fair, it’s mainly been a war of attrition: The Greeks can not break into the city of Troy, and the Trojans can not make the Greeks leave.

So, my point is this: after 10 years, Agamemnon’s armour looked brand new. True, he would have had servants cleaning it for him, but it didn’t look like battle-hardened armour; it looked like it was freshly produced from the costume department. It was too shiny and clean.

Similarly, the first time we see the Trojans’ armour, they are riding on horseback towards Sinon. Sadly, like Agamemnon, their armour looked too neat, shiny, polished, new, and clean, rather than soldiers wearing armour that had seen 10 years of war. It took me out of the film; it wasn’t believable.

Another thing that took me out of the film was the casting, but it’s not what you’re thinking. Essentially, we had a film that featured Jason Bourne, Catwoman, Spider-Man, Batman, Nakia, Alpha, Violator, Mary Jane, Furiosa, The Punisher, and Shadowcat. I realise actors play fictional and non-fictional characters, but more importantly, they are more than their most famous roles. However, they can sometimes get type-casted, where we had scenes between Catwoman and Spider-Man, Batman and Violator, Punisher and Nakia, and everybody else in between.

It felt strange watching Peter Parker and Frank Castle go hunting, along with Bruce Wayne trying to marry Selena Kyle, but also Shadowcat, Mary Jane, and Alpha being angry with Jason Bourne. As I said earlier, it took me out of the movie at times, which, to be honest, is quite rare.

It reminded me of the time when I saw Les Misérables with my girlfriend (future wife) at the cinema. It was her favourite musical, so she was singing along with the rest of the audience, while I was watching a film about Wolverine raising Catwoman’s daughter, while being chased by Jor-El. I mentioned this to her after the film, and she was not impressed.

I was also let down by how Scylla looked, but I did like her nest. I was hoping her definitions would be clearer, but what do I know? As for Helios’ Cattle, I thought they would look grander than they did, though in hindsight, I realise why they chose to leave the cattle looking normal.

So, what about my preview questions?

  • Will the film open with an exposition about the Trojan War? There was a single line at the start, but nothing else.
  • Will the film start in the Iliad, and move into the Odyssey, or will it be told with flashbacks? It was a Nolan film, so it was told using a non-linear timeline.
  • How graphic will the battle scenes be, or the monsters killing Odysseus’ men? I could be wrong about this, but to my memory, there were only three battle scenes, and they were intense for very different reasons.
  • How will Nolan mark the passage of time in the film? Since Nolan did his time manipulation with the narrative, the biggest indicator of the passage of time was Odysseus’ beard, along with the growing age of Argos, Telemachus, and Eumaeus.
  • Will there be an epilogue? There wasn’t an epilogue in the traditional sense, but the film did leave us with Odysseus abdicating the Kingdom of Ithaca to Telemachus, as well as patching up his marriage with Penelope.
  • Tom Holland is 30 years old, so is it believable that he is playing a 20-year-old man whose mother is Anne Hathaway? I’ll be honest, the age difference bothered me more than I thought it would. Hathaway is 43 years old, while Holland is 30, playing a 20-year-old. Both Hathaway and Holland were fantastic, but I felt that either Hathaway was too young for the role or Holland was too old.
  • How much screen time will be given to Odysseus’ return to Ithaca? It was difficult to determine, because, being Christopher Nolan, the film’s timeline was out of order.
  • Will we see the plough and donkey scene? Sadly, no, we didn’t.
  • Will a 21st-century perspective be placed on the film, considering it is set over 3,000 years ago? I’ve covered this earlier, but yes, the destruction and sacking of Troy brought this into focus.
  • Will conservatives be correct that the woke casting choices derail the movie? Honestly, the casting of Elliot Page and Lupita Nyong’o was great; seriously, the movie was not derailed by them. Anybody who says that to you they are lying.
  • How will the monster be shown? CGI or practical effects or both? I think it was a combination of both. I believe Charybdis, the Laestrygonians, and Polyphemus were practical effects, but Scylla was different.
  • How will Calypso and Circe be portrayed? I thought Charlize Theron and Samantha Morton were awesome, with each actress showing how dangerous and fragile their characters were.
  • Can the sacking and destruction of Troy be laid at Odysseus’ feet? Once again, I have already discussed, I believe the answer is yes.
  • How much PTSD will Odysseus have, if any? A lot. Odysseus would have kept a therapist very busy and wealthy.
  • How will Nyong’o go with her dual roles? I thought her role as Helen was small, while Clytemnestra was even smaller.
  • Will there be any other appearances of Greek Gods, apart from Athena? If there were, I missed them.
  • Will Aeneas be mentioned or shown? To the best of my knowledge, no, he wasn’t.

Again, please remember that this review wasn’t about a comparison between the poem and the movie. Overall, The Odyssey is amazing, especially with the grounded use of practical effects, but would you expect anything less from a Nolan movie?

And that brings another rant to a close for another week. Thanks once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, dance on the FIFA Forward Enterprise’s grave, and I’ll see you next week for the final preview/review for the Winter series, with Spider-Man: Brand New Day. Three down, one to go! Booya!


Movie Preview: The Odyssey

Just like the red carpet can be rolled out for a visiting leader, I’m going to roll out the red carpet for you, because after a relaxing time hanging out with UMC1 and UMC2, I’m back with more stupid ideas and badly translated English to entertain you.

So what could I possibly write to kick off the second half of 2026? Yes, I have been alluding to this for a few weeks now, but today’s blog is my preview for The Odyssey. It’s funny, because lately on this highly popular blog, I’ve recently completed movie previews/reviews about Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu, and Supergirl, with Spider-Man: Brand New Day still to come as well.

If you’re new to this account, I promise that I do write about other things; it’s just this Summer’s (Winter for me) movies have been interesting enough for me to conduct my highly successful movie previews/reviews. Clear as mud? Awesome.

I’ve been looking forward to The Odyssey for several reasons, which, because nobody asked for it, I will now break down for you:

1.) I’m a fan of Christopher Nolan’s films. One day, I will write a blog post about the recurring theme among them, but not today.

2.) Being a geek, I’m a fan of history and mythology, and what better crossover of these subjects can you get in The Odyssey, other than Hellboy?

As always with my previews, I purchase an advanced ticket, because…say it with me…I’m a geek. However, something rare has happened on this account, as I strive to maintain transparency here. Typically, I write the preview, publish the preview, watch the movie, then write the review and publish it. However, with my Mid-Winter break coinciding with the release of The Odyssey, I decided to make an executive decision and watch the movie.

This means, by the time of the publication of this blog post (27th July), I would have already seen the movie. So, The Odyssey’s order is this: Write the preview, watch the movie, publish the preview, then write the review and publish it. This slight alternative to the system will probably carry over to Spider-Man: Brand New Day also.

I apologise in advance if my tenses are a bit weird in this blog post, since again, I’m writing the preview before I’ve seen the movie, but you’ll read it after I’ve seen it. Sorry, I’ll shut up about this. Ok, where were we? Oh right, for those (un)lucky enough not to understand what The Odyssey is about, you have come to the correct place. Maybe.

I have to interject with a pointless reference; I will be discussing two versions of the Odyssey. The first is the book (poem), which will be identified as The Odyssey, while the second reference will be the movie, which will be identified in italics as The Odyssey. This is to avoid confusion for you, other readers, and me, the absent-minded writer. Did I need to include this in the blog? Absolutely not. Did I want to? Absolutely yes!

The film is based on an epic poem that has been translated and adapted into a book, which is famous around the planet.1 It was written by Homer, an ancient Greek poet who lived around the 8th century BCE, who wrote The Odyssey and its predecessor, The Iliad, around the same time.

I do need to state that The Odyssey was a famous legend, passed down by storytellers for hundreds of years, before it was written down and became a bedrock of ancient Greek literature, and like the works of Shakespeare, it became a staple in high school English classes.

It has been reworked, reimagined, and adapted into several media over the centuries because of its powerful themes and messages. The Odyssey tells the timeless tale of revenge, love, regret, guilt, children, war, loss, marriage, grief, death, hope, compassion, loyalty, and just about everything else you can cram into it. The Odyssey has been with me since primary school, which, in all honesty, says more about me than the story.

The most basic, stripped-down version of the story that I can create is this:

A man leaves his island, kingdom, and family, and goes to war, with the majority of the fighting men on the island for 10 years. It then takes him another 10 years to return to the island, with all of the men he took having been killed, and he has to deal with the consequences of leaving in the first place, and what he did during the war and after it. This is not an ancient Greek rom-com, nor will the movie be.

And speaking of the movie, I believe The Odyssey’s budget was US$250 million, which is more than the budgets of Minions & Monsters, Obsession, Backrooms, The Devil Wears Prada 2, Jackass: Best and Last, Evil Dead Burn, and Bring Her Back combined.

Before I waffle on even more, we’re going to be discussing names from a movie that are based on a piece of Greek literature that is over 2,000 years old. With the pronunciation of these names, I’m not going to lecture you about how to pronounce them, because I’m not an expert myself.

Basically, pronounce them however you wish, except if you’re actually Greek, then there is no excuse for getting them wrong. So, with that fantastic introduction out of the way, let’s move on to the preview.

WARNING, WE HAVE HAD OVER 2,000 YEARS, BUT THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD!


My awesome copy of the Odyssey

Am I looking forward to watching The Odyssey?

As I mentioned before, I’m a fan of Christopher Nolan’s movies, history, and mythology, so The Odyssey fits inside my wheelhouse. Odysseus, the main protagonist and yet at the same time, an antagonist, is a complex character who has been analysed for centuries for his victories and defeats.

It’s one of the reasons the tale of the Odyssey has endured long enough for Nolan to decide to write a screenplay and direct a movie about one of the smartest men in Ancient Greece, who got lost trying to get home; a two week journey became 10 years. Ouch.

Speaking about the movie, the cast includes Matt Damon (Odysseus), Anne Hathaway (Penelope), Tom Holland (Telemachus), Robert Pattinson (Antinous) Lupita Nyong’o (Helen of Troy and Clytemnestra), Samantha Morton (Circe), John Leguizamo (Eumaeus), Zendaya (Athena), Charlize Theron (Calypso), Jon Bernthal (Menelaus), Himesh Patel (Eurylochus), Bill Irwin (Polyphemus), Elliot Page (Sinon), and Benny Safdie (Agamemnon).

A few of these actors have worked with Nolan before, like Damon, Hathaway, Pattinson, and Page, which always suggests to me, that the actors and director actually like working together. That’s always a positive thing, right?

Obviously, it costs more money, but I do appreciate the filmmakers putting in the extra effort with building massive sets, using a vast array of practical effects, and employing hundreds, if not thousands of extras. I’m a sucker for epics, so The Odyssey is a film that, I believe, fits that criteria.

I’m still waiting for Hollywood, or quite frankly anybody else, whether it’s animated or live-action, to release the trilogy, nobody seems to have the guts to do: The Iliad, The Odyssey, and The Aeneid. Imagine using the same actors and voice actors, but also filming them back-to-back; the continuity would be amazing!

Yes, they were written by different authors, centuries apart, but they are interconnected, as well as overlap each other, and in my very humble opinion, form one long narrative. Though to be fair, Hollywood did dabble with the Iliad in the form of 2004’s Troy.2

I do understand the film has faced some backlash for making “woke” casting choices, as well as a call for a boycott of the film over the scenes filmed in Moroccan-occupied Western Sahara.

What is the movie about?

According to universalpictures.co.nz, the premise is this:

Christopher Nolan’s next film, The Odyssey, is a mythic action epic shot across the world using brand new IMAX® film technology. The film brings Homer’s foundational saga to IMAX® film screens for the first time and opens in cinemas everywhere on July 16, 2026.

The Odyssey stars Matt Damon, Tom Holland, Anne Hathaway, Robert Pattinson and Lupita Nyong’o, with Zendaya and Charlize Theron.

The Odyssey is produced by Emma Thomas and Christopher Nolan for their company, Syncopy. The executive producer is Thomas Hayslip.

This description leaves a lot to the imagination, however Wikipedia, as usual, saves the day with:

The Odyssey follows Odysseus, the legendary Greek king of Ithaca, on his long and perilous journey home following the Trojan War, chronicling his encounters with mythical beings such as the Cyclops Polyphemus, Sirens, and the nymph Calypso, while attempting to reunite with his wife, Penelope.

What can we expect?

The running time for The Odyssey is 172 minutes, so realistically, you would be in the theatre for over three hours if you combine adverts, trailers, and the movie. Classic films that have lasted over 170 minutes have included Lawrence of Arabia, Schindler’s List, and The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, so The Odyssey is in good company. After three hours, though, your bladder and stomach may not agree.

Once again, as I have already stated, The Odyssey is going to be like the nature of the poem: epic. I know Nolan has a reputation for using practical effects over CGI, leading the public to speculate that he would detonate a real nuclear weapon for Oppenheimer.

I expect to see some fantastic sets, stunning costumes, and even more gorgeous practical effects, especially in the forms of the monsters, like Scylla, Charybdis, Helios’ Cattle, Sirens, the Laestrygonians, and Polyphemus; though, to be honest, I’m not sure if they will all be in the movie.

It’s cool that Nolan has involved the Greek Gods in the movie, because the Trojan War, famously between Greece and Troy, caused divisions between the Gods themselves. Some were on the Greeks’ side, some were supporting the Trojans, some were neutral, while others didn’t care.

Of all of the movie previews I have done, I think The Odyssey has been the most difficult to write about because humanity has had over 2,000 years to develop and adapt it into different mediums, so after thousands of years, there are not many things left to talk about; only what Nolan has kept, what he’s thrown away, the order of events, and maybe, just maybe, something new.

I also have to wonder how Odysseus will be portrayed: heroic, dangerous, clever, deceitful, faithful, sexist, wise, a mass murderer, or a combination of all of these. It’s hard to root for a king to return to his faithful and loving wife and son after 20 long years away, having slept with at least two women, killed countless men, got all of his men killed, and helped to destroy and ravage a city, where the citizens, not just soldiers, are massacred, robbed, or enslaved.

As I said earlier, Odysseus is a complex character, but we also need to view him not through a 21st-century CE lens, but through a 12th-century BCE standard. You can argue whether Odysseus was a real person or not, but his story is timeless, and still needs to be retold, if nothing else, as entertainment or as a warning of hubris.

Do I have concerns?

This is arguably the biggest film of the Summer (Again, Winter for me), so there is a lot of pressure on it to live up to the hype. Added that it’s based on a story that’s thousands of years old, and has been retold countless times, so of course, I have concerns.

Here are some of my questions:

  • Will the film open with an exposition about the Trojan War?
  • Will the film start in the Iliad, and move into the Odyssey, or will it be told with flashbacks?
  • How graphic will the battle scenes be, or the monsters killing Odysseus’ men?
  • How will Nolan mark the passage of time in the film?
  • Will there be an epilogue?
  • Tom Holland is 30 years old, so is it believable that he is playing a 20-year-old man whose mother is Anne Hathaway?
  • How much screen time will be given to Odysseus’ return to Ithaca?
  • Will we see the plough and donkey scene?
  • Will a 21st-century perspective be placed on the film, considering it is set over 3,000 years ago?
  • Will conservatives be correct that the woke casting choices derail the movie?
  • How will the monster be shown? CGI or practical effects or both?
  • How will Calypso and Circe be portrayed?
  • Can the sacking and destruction of Troy be laid at Odysseus’ feet?
  • How much PTSD will Odysseus have, if any?
  • How will Nyong’o go with her dual roles?
  • Will there be any other appearances of Greek Gods, apart from Athena?
  • Will Aeneas be mentioned or shown?

There’s probably more questions, but I can’t think of them right now, sorry.

And to end this woeful rant, it’s more of a hope than a question, but I hope Argos has been cut from the film. I saw The Return recently with Ralph Fiennes and Juliette Binoche3, and Odysseus’ reunion with Argos was hard to watch, because I forgot about that scene to my shame. Argos was a good boy, and I stopped the movie because I had started crying. What an idiot!

Odysseus and Telemachus slaughter a room full of suitors, and I will have no reaction. Odysseus and Penelope reunite, and I will have no reaction. Odysseus’s dog, Argos, waits 20 years to see his master, and then dies; pass the tissues.

I swear, I can’t make it through any form of entertainment where a dog dies, and I don’t cry.

I believe this movie will be a juggernaut, but only time will tell if critics and fans like it; though the film studio will be opening its coffers for that sweet, sweet money.

Alright, that’s it. Thanks once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, Bin for the Win, and I’ll see you next week for The Odyssey: Movie Review.


1 Suck it Flat Earthers.

2 The Iliad and The Odyssey were written by Homer, while The Aeneid was written by Virgil, over 700 years later.

3 The Return was a slow burn, but it was a solid, entertaining movie. I enjoyed it.

My Mid-Winter Break marches on!

Kia ora everybody, this is just a quick check-in with you, because I’m still on my mid-winter break. I know, how selfish of me! The world is still turning, with Spain conquering the world, bird flu is spreading, Trump and the United States have become the guardians of the Strait of Hormuz, and Nigel Farage is slowly regretting his decision to resign. It takes a special person in the House of Commons to rally against you.

Bin for the Win

Before I go back to playing board games with UMC1 and UMC2, I want to quickly acknowledge the death of Sam Neill, as he was one of Aotearoa New Zealand’s favourite sons. In all seriousness, I never met him, but his passing still saddens me, as he was one of our proudest exports to the world.

Whenever I saw him on screen, I would often think, “Hey, what’s that Kiwi boy doing there?” He was a fantastic actor, and again, having never met him, I always held the impression that he was a fantastic person as well. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to re-watch some of his films, as I have already started with Sleeping Dogs. Sam, cheers mate.

Clockwise from top left: ‘Dead Calm,’ ‘The Hunt for Red October,’ ‘The Piano,’ ‘Possession,’ ‘Peaky Blinders,’ ‘In the Mouth of Madness,’ ‘Jurassic Park’ and ‘Event Horizon.’ Everett Collection; BBC

I also want to quickly acknowledge the death of Sir Garfield Sobers, the great West Indian all-rounder cricketer. He retired before I was born, but I’ve seen footage of him destroying teams, including New Zealand. He was an idol for millions, and in New Zealand, he was highly respected, since he was so damn good.

I’m glad he wasn’t born later on, because I would have had mixed feelings watching Sobers take New Zealand apart. As a New Zealander, it would have been awful to watch, but as a cricket fan, he would have been glorious to see live.

Thanks, Garry, you were amazing.

Credit: Cricket West Indies

And with that, I’ll leave you, but my Twitter and Mastodon accounts are still operating, because what else am I going to do?

So, that’s it for today, and I’ll be back next Monday for a much longer blog, which will be in the form of The Odyssey Movie Preview. Take care, and I’ll see you next week.