This glorious blog has discussed some pretty strange things over the last three years, by peeling back some of my layers of geekdom. Yes, some of those layers are rotten, slimy, and overripe, but occasionally, there is something personal. I was planning on discussing this blog last Christmas, but the FIFA World Cup got in my way; not that I’m complaining. I mean, it’s a World Cup.

Considering Christmas is next week, it’s time to discuss the big fat red man in the room. Not, I don’t mean Fat Albert; I want to talk to you about Santa Claus and why he doesn’t visit our house.

My wife and I disagree about a lot of things, such as Sour Cream and Chives, corn, Rambo, musicals, socks in the bed, vampires, time travel, and the correct level of dodginess for our corner shop. However, there is something we both agree on; our mutual dislike of Santa Claus.

The crux of this blog is this: As parents, we do not advocate or promote Santa Claus, his flying reindeer, or his merry workshop of happy elves.

That’s a bold and unorthodox statement from a couple raising two children, aged 8 and 5 years old. Before I continue though, I need to point out two things that are quite important to our family:

1.) My wife’s birthday is 24th December, so if you’re keeping score, you would realise that’s Christmas Eve.

2.) My wife and I are not perfect parents. We have never claimed that we are, nor will we ever be. I spend too much money on pizza for that, and we also don’t have all the answers.

So, what’s the deal? Are we Grinches? No. Are we hard-core religious nuts? No. Don’t we celebrate Christmas? Yes, we do, just not Santa Claus.

I’ll try to explain, so if you’re a parent of young children, I hope this makes sense.

My wife and I believe in truism for raising our children. This means we try to explain real information and facts about the world, in ways that are age appropriate to them. This can cover diseases, politics, sports, blood, pollution, movies, books, and many more. Basically, we teach the truth about the world to UMC1 and UMC2, in ways that they can understand, considering their different ages.

As they become older, we give them more information and facts. For every question they ask, we give them an answer they can understand. Ultimately, it comes down to this: we don’t lie to our children.

This of course brings us to Santa Claus. As parents who deal with teaching children the truth about the world, are we really going to teach them that Santa Claus is real?! It goes against the foundation of our parenting; we don’t lie to our children, we teach the truth. It sounds heavy and intense, but surprise, surprise, it’s the truth.

Alright, what’s the harm in lying to children about Santa Claus? It’s all about them believing in the magical time of Christmas, so what’s wrong with that? That’s a great question, so I’ll give you a great answer.

I want you to imagine two scenarios. The first scenario is to imagine you’re one of your children, and through whatever means or methods, they learn the truth about Santa Claus. Every child’s reaction is different, but let’s imagine your child has an epiphany: they realise that not only have their uncles, aunties, grandparents, teachers, coaches, cousins, neighbours, doctors, and nurses, have been lying to them, but their parents have as well.

It means the people they are supposed to trust most in the world, have been lying to them their entire life. It also means, that if your child is smart enough to come to this conclusion, then they may start to think about what else have you been lying to them about.

We don’t lie to UMC1 and UMC2 about Santa Claus, because of many reasons. One is that we don’t want them to ever think that a large man in a red suit, that lives at the top of the world, is watching and evaluating their behaviour, through the use of cameras and spies; but also judging them to be worthy of receiving his presents.

Another reason is about the long game. If we are truthful with the boys now and have built up a level of trust between us, then as teenagers or young adults, they will hopefully trust us. If things have gone bad somewhere in their lives, we want them to feel comfortable enough to tell us anything, but that only happens with trust.

With the second scenario, imagine your child has asked for a remote-controlled car or a real horse from Santa, but on Christmas Day, they discover they received a Matchbox car or a My Little Pony. Ok, kids can’t always get what they want for Christmas, but some kids do.

Now imagine your child discovering that their cousin received a jet ski for Christmas, or their neighbour received a real horse as a Christmas present. When asked, how would you explain to your children why Santa would give more expensive gifts to other children, but not to them? Why is he rewarding other children? How would you stop your children from thinking that maybe Santa hates them, or that they’re bad children? Children aren’t stupid, they notice and remember what other children get for Christmas.

So how do we handle Christmas? It’s easy, we tell the truth. We have explained that Santa Claus is a game that some people and families play at Christmas time. We’ve pointed out that Santa is not real, but it’s not our right to ruin the game for other people and children. If other families want to play the Santa Game, they are allowed to, but we don’t need to.

UMC1 and UMC2 know that the Christmas presents they will be receiving will be purchased by us; not because they have been showing good behaviour, but because we love them and respect them enough, not to lie to them. Regardless of their behaviour, they’re still going to get presents from us, because we love and appreciate them.

We’ve been a one-income family for eight years now, but when UMC1 and UMC2 make Christmas lists, they don’t list the things they want to receive; they list the things they want to give other people.

If it’s a Christmas list for my wife, UMC1, UMC2 and I will discuss her interests and presents that she might like. They enjoy Christmas shopping and making things for people, because we have tried so hard to make Christmas about appreciating the people we love, and giving them gifts. Again, children aren’t stupid, because both my boys know they are getting presents, no matter what; and each one has chosen a present for the other one.

We also treat Christmas like a Christmas office party, where we give presents to each other, and to say well done; thank you for all of your hard teamwork this year, and we appreciate you.

I hope this makes sense. Anyway, upon hearing about our anti-Santa stance, people react in different ways. Sometimes they react like you’ve shown them a giant tattoo of a dead baby on your chest; for other people, it’s like they’re hearing a foreign language and they don’t know what to think or say.

And of course, some people, mainly parents and grandparents of young children react just a tad on the negative side. People mainly accuse us of stealing the joy from our children or ruining the magic of Christmas.

Personally, I find this hilarious, because we have taught the boys that there is magic in the world, and it can be found through education and just by living. Like the magic of understanding cephalopods; volcanoes; the immune system; superheroes; magnets; observing insects; building and working with Lego; Star Wars; watching our favourite teams win; rocket launches; or simply eating pizza, while watching one of their favourite movies. I think you can find magic anywhere with children, I just don’t believe that you have to lie to them to find it.

Advocating and promoting Santa Claus works for many families around the world, and that’s alright. It’s just not for us, and it never will be.

If you have young children, do you celebrate Santa Claus? Does anybody agree with me about kicking Santa to the curb? As always, please let me know.

Since next Monday is Christmas Day, I’ll be posting a much shorter blog. My aim this week is to spend extra time with UMC1 and UMC2, but also to catch up on work from my real job that pays the bills, and allows me to purchase pizzas.

Thank you once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, watch Scrooged this week, and I’ll see you on Christmas Day.