The Sue Gray Report of the 10 Downing St shenanigans: Part One

On May 30, 2022June 2, 2022 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn People, Politics

I want to talk about the Sue Gray report. Why? Because the findings are worse that you can imagine. Like can’t organise a piss up at a brewery, worse.

I think the official title of the report is : FINDINGS OF SECOND PERMANENT SECRETARY’S INVESTIGATION INTO ALLEGED GATHERINGS ON GOVERNMENT PREMISES DURING COVID RESTRICTIONS

So for the people that no idea about what I’m talking about; 1.) You are very blessed, 2.) I’ll explain this clown car of a document.

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, aka Boris Johnson, is the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.
Covering from March 2020 to December 2021, the United Kingdom entered several national lockdowns and restrictions, in response to fighting COVID-19; under Johnson’s Conservative (Tory) government.
The report is written by Sue Gray, the Second Permanent Secretary in the Cabinet Office.
The report details some of the alleged behaviour, of government workers in government buildings like 10 Downing St, during COVID-19 lockdowns and restrictions.

Basically, this report is about how some government officials broke the COVID-19 rules, that they actually made, while the British public followed the rules.

Sweet? Hopefully that’s clear. So….I have read the report. It’s…pretty damning, but I think it was always going to be. I’ve selected three events from the report that defy explanations, which will cover three different blogs, because…you know…I have to sleep and feed my kids.

I usually don’t talk or write about politics on my blog, but I couldn’t let this report pass, without commenting about it. In my defence, it’s the Tories.

Timeline of UK government coronavirus lockdowns and restrictions

I want to highlight just three gems of utter insanity that the Sue Gray report has revealed. This is the first one.

Part One: The Quiz

The UK second national lockdown was introduced in November 2020, with heavy restrictions concerning social distancing and Christmas parties. Basically the country was told to stay at home, with no more than two people from other households for indoor gatherings, leading up to and around Christmas.

Let’s move to 15th December 2020, because we are now boarding the hypocrisy train. I’ll let the report explain the event:

On 15 December 2020, a virtual quiz took place for No 10 staff. This was attended
by No 10 staff who were present in Downing Street and 70 Whitehall and by some
who joined from home. Alcohol and food was available in Downing Street and at
70 Whitehall, supplied and paid for by staff attending. The quiz and prize-giving
lasted approximately three and a half hours.

On 15 December 2020, the planned quiz began at around 18.00. Approximately
120-150 staff joined, some from home and others based in rooms across No 10
Downing Street and 70 Whitehall. At least 18 members of No 10 staff joined from
a large room in 70 Whitehall.

The Prime Minister joined the quiz at approximately 19.50 to read out the questions
to one of the rounds. This had been agreed in principle in advance and was
confirmed on the day. This is not unusual, he was frequently called upon by his
office to attend staff events. He remained at the event for 12 minutes before
returning to his office. There are published photographs of his participation in the
event.

Food and alcohol was available during the quiz which was purchased by individuals
on behalf of their teams. Some teams in the office gathered close together around
laptop screens.

Some staff drank alcohol. A No 10 official sent a message on internal No 10
systems referring to drunkenness and advising staff to leave No 10 via the back
exit. The No 10 official informed the investigation team that they did this in order to
avoid staff being photographed by the press outside.

The quiz finished at approximately 21.30. Most of those in the office in No 10 either
left or returned to work after the quiz with some remaining continuing to chat and
some drank alcohol.

So while the United Kingdom was under lockdown, and the NHS (National Health Service) was hemorrhaging because of the work load, 10 Downing St had a quiz night. My questions about this ludicrous work event are as follows:

Did Jacob Rees-Mogg compete in the quiz? What was his score?
What round of questions did Boris Johnson ask? ie professional ethnics or some other make believe topic?
What were the team names? Seriously, I would love to know, because I hope they were funny.
When competing against at least 120 other Tories, what idiot(s) achieved the lowest score?
If you attended this quiz, wouldn’t that make YOU the loser?
Imagine receiving a message from a work colleague, explaining about an upcoming social event; where if you get drunk, you need to leave via the back exit. The reason is because the media would be waiting at the front door. To me, that’s a damn big red flag, telling you to stay away. Just like a man that brings his mother on a Tinder date to meet you.

I love quiz nights, so there’s no shame in losing one; except actually attending this one.

While the British public were at home, doing the right thing in the Christmas season, by social distancing; the Tories were having a quiz night at 10 Downing St. Elitism, arrogance, conceited or law breakers; the choice is yours for the best way to describe this detestable behaviour.

If you haven’t read the report for yourself, the link for it is below.

The Sue Gray Report

Anyway, Part Two will come out on Thursday. Until then, thanks for reading, wash your hands and I’ll see you on Thursday.

Living with a Dog: A Simple Truth

On May 23, 2022May 30, 2022 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Animals

I want to talk about dogs. Why? As some of you are aware, I live with a very domesticated dog. His name is Indy, and he’s named after Indiana Jones. The reason being, as my wife often tells me, is that the only reason we got married was because Harrison Ford was not single. Cheers, thanks for mentioning that, for the third time this month!

Indy turned 10 years old in February, and from what I understand of dog years when converted to human years, he’s at least in his fifties; so Indy’s older than me. He’s a Bichon Frise/Maltese cross, which means he’s a dog, but he acts like a cat and looks like a lamb.

Now I realise there are millions of people across the planet, that have dogs in their lives, so what I’m going to discuss could be things you already know. Equally for people that don’t own a dog, this will be some brutal honesty, on the reality of living with an animal that is descended from wolves.

Let’s start on something easy: his diet. Being part Bichon, Indy is a fussy eater, which can be explained with two examples.

Maybe 10-12 months ago, Indy suffered from some food poisoning; basically eating something that he shouldn’t have. The result we believe, was that he blamed his blue bowl for becoming sick! Seriously. After Indy recovered, he refused to eat or drink out of his blue bowl.

In the end, we had to replace his blue bowl for two separate bowls; one for water and one for food. When that was done, he started eating again. We wanted to test our hypothesis of Indy thinking his blue bowl made him sick, by replacing the new bowls with his old blue bowl.

The result? He refused to eat from it again. We swapped back to the new bowls, and would you believe it, he started eating again. That’s mental!

Another example of his crazy diet, is that Indy seems to understand fractions. In October 2021, we noticed something odd. When Indy had eaten his food, he was only eating half. And when I mean half, I literally mean half.

Previously he would have eaten in the centre of his food, with the food from the sides, moving into the centre, to replace the food that had been eaten. But not now. Now you can see whether he has eaten from the left or right hand side of the bowl; and the rare occasions from the top or bottom. We just need up, down, strange and charmed to complete the set.

We have been recording his fractional eating choices from 1st January 2022, because we just find it too crazy to ignore. At the end of June, we will publish the results of the first six months of observations, because…why not?

Let’s move on to his beds. I say beds, because Indy sleeps wherever he pleases, even though he has a flat cushion for a bed. Anyway, currently he is preferring to sleep on my pillow during the day. This is because of two reasons: firstly, he’s afraid of sleeping on my wife’s pillow; and second, by sleeping on my pillow, he can catch the late afternoon sunlight.

This of course means my pillowcase needs to be changed every 1-2 days. It’s a horrible sensation realising your dog has slept on your pillow, because of the dirt, sand, grass, but also of the smell.

Speaking of smells, anybody that has played field hockey or football will understand the need for shin pads. They need to be cleaned regularly, otherwise they reek of sweat and grass. Indy’s paws smell exactly the same as shin pads.

How do I know this? My wife and I dare each other to smell his paws, when Indy is asleep. We chicken out pretty quickly, as the odour of his paws are quite strong. You can’t tell, but I’m having flashbacks of that smell and it’s not good.

To add to the gross factor, you need to be careful when you’re patting Indy. You may be unlucky enough to receive a Bichon burp or sneeze, directly into your face. No amount of face washing, will ever take that away from your memory. It’s seared into mine.

Another danger is in the morning, when he discovers you’re awake. Whether Indy emerges from my bed, like a small and hairy kaiju, or he’s been sleeping somewhere else, he waits until he hears voices.

He lies in darkness, like Batman, waiting to strike. When he hears voices, he launches his finishing move. While you are lying down on the bed, Indy will stand on your chest, and proceed to greet you. By greeting you, I mean he will lick you.

Have you ever had your nose licked by a dog? Don’t, it’s gross. Would you like more gross information? Sometimes he will reach down and lick your teeth. Under no circumstances, has this ever been a good idea.

A cheek, ear, nose and teeth are all targets to him. Being licked there by a dog, again is pretty foul, however Indy has yet to play his trump card. If you are not paying close attention to him, or you’re not focused, he will lick your eye.

Let’s just think about that for a few moments. Just picture it, a dog licking your eye. It’s hard not to now, isn’t it? I can’t properly stress the utter horrible feeling you have, when this disaster happens. It’s something that you’re not going to put into your diary.

Apart from crying at the rain, the cold, or cats; sleeping on your clean clothes (never dirty clothes, because that would be disgusting, right?); licking your legs after a run or the shower; crop dusting a fart past you; rolling on dead crabs, birds, or fish at the beach; going rubbish bin diving; or turning your own bed into a Bichon odour factory; living with a dog is nothing, if not interesting.

What gross things does your dog do? Let me know.

Thanks for reading, go for a walk with your dog, and I’ll see you next week.

My questions about the Flat Earth

On May 16, 2022May 23, 2022 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Science

I want to talk about the Flat Earth. Why? Well, this has been floating around in my science loving head for some time now. I have to admit, whenever I hear, read or watch Flat Earth content, I experience a flood of different emotions, ranging from amazement to sadness to anger to disbelief.

It’s not a topic that I actively search for. Do I search for the latest updates on book releases? Yes. Do I search for the latest updates on movie releases? Yes. Do I search for the latest updates on rugby and football news? Yes. Do I search for the latest updates on Flat Earth? No, because that sucker was solved a long time ago.

You see, I have 99 problems, but a Globe Earth isn’t one of them. I do however have a Flat Earth problem. Only one, you ask? Yes, only one; if you can compress them all down, just like the Slitheen’s compression fields.¹

This is the problem, pause for dramatic effect….with all of the uncountable pieces of evidence that prove we live on a planet that has achieved hydrostatic equilibrium, Flat Earthers still deny the evidence. It’s either a cover up (because there is no evidence to support a Flat Earth, which proves it’s a cover up) or everything we read or see, is a lie or fake.

In my humble understanding, the average Flat Earther will never accept a Globe Earth, because of the reasons above. That being the case; short of having some sort of mental breakdown or head injury, what would it take for me to accept a Flat Earth?

I gave this a lot of thought, because for a Flat Earther to convince me to cross to the Dark side of the Force, they would have to answer all of these questions.

For me to believe in a Flat Earth, someone please explain:

The Flat Earth Map

Why is there no official Flat Earth map?
How do time zones work on Flat Earth maps?
Why do some Flat Earth maps include the dome and some don’t?

The Dome

What is the dome made of?
Whom built the dome?
Why can we not see the dome?
How was the dome installed?
Is there any evidence to support the dome’s existence?
Why do we not see domes on other planets?
What are the dimensions of the dome?

Planetary Evolution

Why is the Earth, the only planet that we have discovered, that has defied planetary evolution and not formed into a sphere?
Why are Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus or Neptune, not flat?
How have scientists misunderstood planetary evolution?
Can Flat Earth models explain Kepler’s laws of planetary motion?
Can Flat Earth models explain Newtonian physics?
If the planets in our solar system orbit the Sun, but the Sun orbits above the Flat Earth, what does this happen?
Earth has less mass than Jupiter, so why does Jupiter orbit Earth, according to the Flat Earth model?

Geology

Do tectonic plates exist on a Flat Earth?
How old is the Earth?
On a Flat Earth, does the Earth still have a crust, mantle, outer core or inner core?
How are volcanoes, earthquakes, and mountains made on a Flat Earth?
Can a Flat Earth model explain subduction, convection and continental drift?
Using the Flat Earth model, how are Earth’s magnetic fields created?
Can the Earth’s 15 degree per hour drift, be explained on a Flat Earth?

Lunar Evolution

Why is the Moon not flat?
Why are the other moons in the solar system, not flat as well?
How was the Moon formed, in relation to the Flat Earth?
How did the Flat Earth trap the Moon, inside the dome?
Why does the Moon travel in perfect circles above our heads, never slowing or speeding up, but in balance with the Sun?
How do lunar eclipses work on a Flat Earth model?
Does the Earth need to be perpendicular, to produce it’s shadow on the Moon, during a lunar eclipse, for the Flat Earth model to work?
Can lunar eclipses occur at different times of the day on a Flat Earth?
How old is the Moon?

Oceanography

How are tides caused on a Flat Earth?
Can a Flat Earth model explain Magellan’s circumnavigation of the world?
Can the formation of underwater mountain ranges, be explained on a Flat Earth?
How do ocean currents work on a Flat Earth?
How are gyres explained using the Flat Earth model?
Using the Flat Earth model, are oceanographic moorings fake?
Can the Flat Earth model truly explain why ships disappear below the horizon?

Stellar Evolution

Why is the Sun not flat?
Why are all known and observable stars in our galaxy, not flat?
How does the Flat Earth model explain the Sun’s light rays, causing different lengths of shadows at 12pm, at different locations?
How was the Sun formed, in relation to the Flat Earth?
How did the Flat Earth trap the Sun, inside the dome?
Why does the Sun travel in perfect circles above our heads, never slowing or speeding up, but in balance with the Moon?
How do solar eclipses work on a Flat Earth model?
How old is the Sun?
How have scientists misunderstood stellar evolution?
There is a model that demonstrates how seasons work on the Flat Earth. This is done by the Sun moving in different orbital planes throughout the year. Why does the Sun move like that and how does it know to move to a new orbital plane, and to move back at different times during the year?

Politics and History

What year did people discover the Earth was flat?
When the Earth was discovered to be flat, why did people lie about it?
How many governments are suppressing the truth about the Flat Earth?
What year did all of these governments decide to suppress the truth about the Flat Earth?
Does every politician, world leader, and CEO in the world, know the truth about the Flat Earth?
Does every teacher, pilot, engineer, and airline staff member in the world, know the truth about the Flat Earth?
Does every employee of every space agency in the world, know the truth about the Flat Earth?
What prevents people with the truth about the Flat Earth, going to the media with evidence?
What do people gain from suppressing the truth about the Flat Earth?
Are there any countries that teach the Flat Earth model in their schools, as part of their national curriculum?

Last questions

Can the Flat Earth model explain the Coriolis Effect?
How does the Aurora Borealis and Aurora Australis exist on a Flat Earth?
How does the Flat Earth model allow for sunsets and sunrises to happen at different times around the world, according to your longitude?
How does the Flat Earth model allow for different stars to be seen from different latitudes?
On a Flat Earth, why can someone standing in New Zealand, not see Polaris, The North Star?
On a Flat Earth, why can someone standing in Iceland, not see the Southern Cross?

And for the final question:

Can someone please explain how the Flat Earth model, allows and supports the General Theory of Relativity?

And with that, I am done; and I haven’t even talked about flight paths, the precise curvature of the Earth, or Antarctica and the ice wall. If any Flat Earther can answer all of these questions, I would love to hear them. Or maybe you think I have missed some vital questions out? If you do, let me of your ideas.

Thanks once again for reading, wash your hands, and I’ll see you next week.

¹Dr. Who! (HEY) Dr. Who. Dr. Who! (HEY) The TARDIS.

Neal Adams and George Perez are Tōtaras

On May 11, 2022May 16, 2022 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Comics, People

Anybody that knows me or follows my blog, will understand that I’m a comic book fan. I’ve been reading and collecting comics for decades, so over that time, I’ve learnt a few things, which have included Neal Adams and George Perez.

Growing up and teaching myself about comics, I discovered and identified Neal’s and George’s art, before I could recognise their names. As a kid, the names of artists were not important to me, only if I liked their artwork. And for the record, I liked them both.

To me, and thousands; if not millions of people around the world, these two men were amazing storytellers. Their passion for their medium, shone through in their art, but also through interviews, attending conventions, and their community work. Neal and George also worked for different publishers, not just DC and Marvel.

Both men challenged what a comic book could be, by drawing strong, but flawed characters; introducing new and exciting characters that would push social boundaries; incorporate more mature themes to comics; redefining the way the body and muscles were drawn; but also being top quality storytellers.

Neal and George helped to build worlds, where a small boy, from a small town, from a small country, could escape to and dream that all things were possible. From intimate and personal stories; to race against time, globe trotting stories; to reality-crushing and cosmic stories, they could do it all.

Neal Adams cover for *Avengers Vol 1 #92*/George Perez cover for *Crisis on Infinite Earths #1*

Sadly, Neal passed away on 28th April, aged 80; while George passed away on 6th May, aged 67. My condolences to their families and friends.

Just like many other people I admired and respected; like Stephen Hawking and Stan Lee, I always thought I would meet Neal and/or George. It would have been at some sort of comic convention, where I would shake their hand, thank them for all of their amazing work, and then apologise for saying something they would have heard thousands of times before.

That can never happen now.

In New Zealand, we have some mighty trees called tōtaras. They are symbolically important, because they are massive, straight, quite light, and resistant to rot. Bascially, they’re forest giants. Māori would use them to make large wakas (canoes), but also carve the tōtara to decorate maraes.

These are not my words, but they convey my thoughts and feelings:

KUA HINGA TE TOTARA I TE WAO NUI A TANE

THE TOTARA HAS FALLEN IN THE FOREST OF TANE

THE TOTARA IS A HUGE TREE THAT GROWS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. THE GREATNESS OF THE TOTARA IS A METAPHOR FOR WHEN SOMEONE OF IMPORTANCE PASSES AWAY.

Simply put, Neal and George were tōtaras.

Whenever I see their artwork, until the end of my days, I’ll push away the thoughts of sadness and anger; and just be grateful that I’ll be looking at 2-D representations of what love looks like: the evidence of someone doing a job that they love.

Neal Adams cover for *Green Lantern/Green Arrow #6*/George Perez cover for *The Infinity Gauntlet #1*

Thank you Neal. Thank you George. Thank you for your art, stories, imagination, and passion. You are both immortal now.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week.

The 15 Best Songs About Geek and Nerd Culture

On May 9, 2022May 11, 2022 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Music, Science

I want to talk about music. Why? This is because of all of the ludicrous topics that I have covered, since starting on this insane quest, music has not been one of them. That changes today.

I often have different earworms playing in my head, featuring geek/nerd culture songs. So in my finite wisdom, I’ve decided to list 15 of the best songs that I can think of, that showcase or highlight geek or nerd culture.

There are some catches to the list though; every song on my precious list, actually has lyrics, so no orchestra pieces. Sorry. Also, theme songs from movies or television shows are not counted. Those entries deserve their own blog, which I will get to one rainy day.

The songs that have missed the cut, will be because they would only mention a word or a line, featuring geek culture; which is not enough to make the list. Though there is one exception, and I will explain. Scout’s honour.

I also feel the need to explain, that for the purposes of this list, the words, geek and nerd, can and will be interchangeable.

There are some artists that appear more than once on the list, and that’s just unavoidable. Sorry. You might know some of these songs on the list, or maybe you could recommend some others? Please let me know.

Without further grandstanding, may I present to you, 15 of the best songs that highlight geek/nerd culture. Also the list is in no particular order, because I wanted to see if my OCD would allow it. Go me!

Image by Jean-Paul Jandrain from Pixabay

Superman (It’s Not Easy): Five for Fighting (2000)

Talk Nerdy To Me: KFace TV (2014)

The Universe is Weird: Hank Green (2012)

A Song About an Anglerfish: Hank Green (2009)

Doctorin’ the Tardis: Timelords aka The KLF (1988)

Star Trekkin’: The Firm (1987)

Word Crimes: “Weird Al” Yankovic (2014)

The Saga Begins: “Weird Al” Yankovic (1999)

Yoda: “Weird Al” Yankovic (1985)

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Earth: Leonard Nimoy (1967)

Nerd vs Geek Rap Battle: Rhett & Link (2013)

Data & Picard: Pogo (2016)

Intergalactic: Beastie Boys (1998). This is the exception I was talking about. It’s here because of the amazing video. Kaiju anyone?

Astronomically Correct Twinkle Twinkle: Henry Reich, Zach Weinersmith & Chris Jones (2014)

The Science Love Song: AsapScience (2014)

And finally for a bonus entry, this song is the greatest version of geek/nerd culture ever recorded.

The Ballard of Bilbo Baggins: Leonard Nimoy (1968)

So do you agree with the entries? Do you think I’ve missed your favourite geek/nerd song off the list? Please let me know your thoughts.

Alright, that’s it for today. From the bottom of my four chambered heart, thank you for reading and following Some Geek Told Me. It’s a side project that keeps me off the dark and cold streets.

I’m doing another special blog for Wednesday, because of some sad news that has hit the comics industry, within the last few weeks.

Thanks for reading, wash your hands, and I’ll see you on Wednesday.

Happy Star Wars Day 2022

On May 4, 2022May 2, 2023 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Books, Children, Comics, Movies, Television

I want to talk about Star Wars. Why? Hmmm….maybe because it’s Star Wars Day! The 4th of May aka May the 4th be with you, can mean different things to different people; but ultimately, it’s a day to celebrate all things Star Wars.

Slowly over time, UMC1 and UMC2 have been becoming more interested in Star Wars. They recently saw A New Hope, last week for the first time, and they now want to see all of the films. Patience, my clever padawan and youngling, patience.

Oddly enough, they like Star Wars for different reasons. UMC1 seems to be all about the different vehicles, whether they fly or drive. He wants know to about their engines, passengers, speeds, and other capabilities. UMC2 on the other hand, is all about the droids. He is nearly 4 years old, but he is hard core about droids.

Because of Star Wars Day, UMC1 and UMC2 decided to take after their artistic mother, and make some Star Wars art projects.

UMC2 decided to make a Jawa, named Utinni. This is because he thinks they’re the worst aliens to purchase a droid from. He also believes that Jawas are extremely funny, but he doesn’t trust them. UMC2 constantly tells random people, to never buy droids from Jawas, because they’ll have bad motivators.

UMC1 chose to create a power droid, called Gonky. Apparently Gonky is some sort of super power droid, because he can run at extremely fast speeds, helping to fix broken spaceships, by supplying power to them. Oh, I forgot, he can also dance.

That’s it for today. From all of the staff at Some Geek Told Me, have a Happy Star Wars Day! May the 4th be with you. Always.

Thanks for reading, wash your hands, and I’ll see you next week.

Particle Accelerators: The Coolest Machines on Earth

On May 2, 2022May 4, 2022 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Science

I want to talk about particle accelerators. Why? Well, in my humble opinion, I think they are the coolest machines on Earth. That’s a big call, so do I have any evidence for this? Not really, only my misplaced love in technology that I can only describe as beautiful.

You may have heard the words, atom smashers, colliders, or particle accelerators before, but they are more or less words that can be interchangeable, just like the Infinity Stones and the Infinity Gems, but also Paradise Island and Themyscira. That being the case, let’s try to untangle this mess that I’ve made.¹

Simply put, particle accelerators smash pieces of atoms together.

Great, thanks for reading and I’ll see….

As if. Particle accelerators are massive machines that can fire subatomic particles around a circuit, at speeds similar to the speed of light. The results of each experiment can help scientists to research and investigate answers about our universe, which brings about more questions.

I can only imagine years ago, a group of drunk physicists were enjoying a good night out at the pub, when someone suggests of thinking up the craziest experiments possible. Once again, I can only imagine there would be lots of different ideas, when someone mentions, “Hey, I’ve got it! Let’s take some subatomic particles and using electromagnetic fields, fling them around a circuit at close to the speed of light, and smash them together.”

Everybody would laugh at this and move on to the next crazy idea; but the group’s designated driver would have been listening the whole time. They speak up and say, “I was thinking about the last idea, and it seems quite interesting.”

The actual truth is far less entertaining than a drunken idea. The way I understand it, the design and implementation of various particle accelerators, were created by scientists Gustaf Ising, Ernest Lawrence, Max Steenbeck, Leó Szilárd and Rolf Widerøe, from the 1920’s to 1930’s.

So how does a particle accelerator work? That’s a great question, in fact, that’s the best question I have heard all day; even better than, “Should we get pizza tonight?”

Because each particle accelerator is different, they have different components, so they operate differently. Having said that, the best and simplest way I could describe it to anybody ², means laying down some easy groundwork first.

Let’s look at one of the most famous particle accelerators in the world, the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), located near Geneva, Switzerland, operated by CERN, to help me to explain them. Hopefully correctly.

Atoms are not the smallest pieces of matter. Within the structure of an atom ³, you would find three basic particles: a proton (it has a positive charge), a neutron (they have no charge, they are neutral), and an electron (it has a negative charge).

With each different element, the quantity of protons, neutrons, and electrons changes. There are other subatomic particles out in the world, but let’s just use protons, neutrons, and electrons for now. Ok?

Scientists can take protons for an example, and accelerate them to speeds, close to the speed of light. They do this by using electromagnetic fields, to accelerate the particles, through a network of tunnels.

These tunnels at CERN, span 27 km; at a maximum depth of 175 m, have been built around the area to house the particle accelerator, because it needs a lot of space and energy.

Now this is crazy, but true. Because of this, the particles can be fired at around 99% the speed of light. They zip around the network of looped tunnels, at a mind crushing speed of 11,000 times per second. Let that fact sink in.

The idea is that when these particles are whipping around, scientists can cause them to smash into each other. This is not because scientists hate subatomic particles, or there is a secret cult, trying to eliminate all subatomic particles from the world ⁴, but rather to create new subatomic particles and unlock more of the subatomic world.

I know, the whole thing sounds like a bad B-movie plot, but it’s real. By using particle accelerators, scientists have discovered the Higgs Boson (or God particle or Higgs particle); developed better computer scanning imagery; created synthetic elements like Moscovium, Tennessine, Oganesson; medical applications; the W and Z particles; and other subatomic particles.

I remember when the Higgs Boson was announced by the media in 2012, an article citing some scientists and researchers, were explaining that the discovery of the Higgs Boson, could give humanity the building blocks for faster than light technology.

This of course has led to scientists designing various theoretical space ships, with the ability to warp space/time or travel at light speed. How cool is that?!

There is also a real belief, that particle accelerators can help scientists to bridge the gap between the general theory of relativity and quantum mechanics, to create the Holy Grail of physics: quantum gravity theory.

I have never visited or seen a real particle accelerator, but I would love the opportunity to. Honestly, I think particle accelerators are what dreams are made of, so they have been pulled into our reality. They are the coolest machines, not just on this planet, or the solar system; but maybe the galaxy.

Not the universe though, because there will be an alien civilization, in some distant red-shifted galaxy, with real working replicators. How rad would that be?!

Anyway, with the new upgrades to the CERN particle accelerator, who the hell knows what amazing and fascinating surprises, will we discover. Particle accelerators; they are the cat’s pyjamas; the bee’s knees; or just simply, the coolest machines on Earth.

Thanks for reading, wash your hands, and I’ll see you on Wednesday for another special blog.

¹There’s a first for everything.

²Remember, I’m not a physicist, just someone that likes science. A lot. Probably too much, actually.

³Hydrogen being an exception, because it has no neutrons; just 1 proton and 1 electron.

⁴Good luck with that one.

SOME GEEK TOLD ME

Month: May 2022