I want to talk about face masks. Why? Because after at least 18 months, a face mask of all things, has become a political symbol. The thing is, you already know this. You’ve read about it, heard about it, and quite honestly have talked about it.
All around the globe, mask wearing has been a hot button subject, and I feel a lot of the discussions about them has been centred on the science fact vs science fantasy debate. Do masks actually work? By wearing a mask, can it reduce the risk of you contracting COVID-19? The answer to both of these questions is yes.
There are several myths surrounding the COVID-19 vaccines, which I took apart in my previous blogs. It’s interesting to note that a lot of anti-vaxxers, are also against wearing face masks; whether it’s for religious, political, moral or scientific reasons. So now it’s time for some mask wearing facts!
FACT 1: Wearing a mask, is one of the best ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19.
FACT 2: You can not reinfect yourself with COVID-19, by wearing a mask.
FACT 3: Wearing a face mask, does not decrease your oxygen levels.
FACT 4: Even if you don’t have any COVID-19 symptoms, you should still wear a mask.
FACT 5: You don’t need to mock and ridicule anybody, for wearing a face mask.
FACT 6: COVID-19 precautions like hand washing and social distancing, should still be used along with mask wearing.
FACT 7: Cloth face masks can still protect you from COVID-19.
FACT 8: Your carbon dioxide levels will not increase, when using a face mask.
FACT 9: Wearing a face mask, protects the wearer and the people around them.
FACT 10:Wearing a face mask, will not weaken your immune system.
FACT 11: By wearing a face mask, does not mean you will develop pneumonia.
FACT 12: A child wearing a face mask, is not abuse; it’s actually sensible parenting.
FACT 13: A face mask is only effective, as long your nose and mouth are covered.
FACT 14: Even if you are vaccinated, you should still wear a mask.
FACT 15: You don’t need to wear a face mask while exercising.
FACT 16: As the designated shopper for my house, I had the joy of going to the supermarket during lockdown. While I was there, I noticed a lot of single guys; with their white bread, pies and beer filled trollies, testing out a new flirting technique: “Hey, I like your mask,” hoping a conversation could flow from there.
As opening lines go, it’s better than, “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, because you’re an angel,” but not as good as, “Falling in love with you takes less time than my DNA takes to replicate.”
If you have the opportunity to wear a mask, please do it. Not just for yourself, but for the people around you. The science behind face masks is rock solid, so please be brave and wear a face mask.
We are currently at Level 2 with our national lockdown, with some other regions still at the highest level, which is Level 4. That being the case, this is my last lockdown post, until we have another one. Maybe. Until then, I’ll return to my regular scheduled programming of geeky content.
Until then, mask up, get a vaccine, wash your hands, and look after yourselves and your families.
Thanks for reading and I’ll see you in a few days!
We are still in lockdown currently in New Zealand, though we are slowly moving down the levels. Sadly, this means that COVID-19 vaccine myths are still floating around on social media and across the dinner table. In my last blog, I looked at some of the insanity surrounding five COVID-19 vaccine myths, so today I aim to finish what I started with five more.
Myth 6:The COVID-19 vaccine is making people magnetic.
Reality: I want you to really think about this; people are claiming that a vaccine is giving them magnetic powers. Now if Magento or Doctor Polaris were claiming this, my reply would be, “How could you tell?”
Human magnetism; it sounds like the next step in human evolution, but it’s not. There have been numerous people involved with articles, photographs and video footage, around this subject. They are claiming that after they have received the COVID-19 vaccine (I don’t think it’s been cleared up which one they are talking about), metal objects like phones, spoons, knives, forks, etc, can now stick to their body.
I saw some hilarious footage in America, with people standing up in court to testify that the COVID-19 vaccine had made them magnetic, because of microchips in the vaccine or some other insane reason.
Let’s clear this up quickly, not a single case of magnetism has been found, by someone receiving the COVID-19 vaccine. It’s not possible.
To clarify:
There are no metallic, microelectronics or magnetic materials in the vaccines.
There is nothing in the vaccine that can produce the electromagnetic force, at the vaccination point or in your body.
A dose of the COVID-19 vaccine is usually less than a millilitre, which means the shot is too small to carry a microchip.
You have iron in your blood, but it’s not ferromagnetic; which means it’s not receptive to magnetism. This means it can’t build or interact with an electromagnetic force field.
If you were a human magnet, only steel or iron objects would be an attracted to your body, not silver ones, like in the anti-vaxxer videos.
To me, this myth is utter garbage, so please ignore it.
Myth 7:The COVID-19 vaccine makes women infertile.
Reality: The old anti-vaxxer crazy train, is breaking new ground now. Apparently, thousands of women across the world, have been made infertile by receiving the COVID-19 vaccine; in addition to the claim that a woman could be made infertile, simply by standing next to a vaccinated person. Really?
I believe these misinformed people think that while different drug companies have been developing the vaccines, they never thought about testing pregnant women?! Really?
The COVID-19 vaccine does not cause infertility in women. If it did, it would not have been approved by medical authorities for public use.
Myth 8:The COVID-19 vaccine gives you COVID-19.
Reality: Anti-vaxxers want you to believe that by receiving the COVID-19 vaccine, you are actually having the virus injected into you, so then, you’ll get sick.
Some COVID-19 vaccines do contain an inactivated or weakened version of the virus, to stimulate your immune system, however you can’t catch COVID-19 from this. mRNA vaccines like Pfizer, do not have any live or dead strains of COVID-19. You can not contract COVID-19 from a COVID-19 vaccine. This is nonsense, once again.
Myth 9:People that are vaccinated are catching COVID-19, proving the vaccines don’t work.
Reality: Let’s break this statement down; firstly, the notion that some people that have been partly or fully vaccinated, have contracted COVID-19, is actually true. It is.
However the problem with this is not calling the efficacy of the vaccines into question, but rather explaining how vaccinated people can contract COVID-19. These people are called breakthrough cases, and the reasons why this happens, can be quite varied.
No vaccine is 100% proof, so the vaccine is different from one person to the next, in terms of their immune system and immune response. Your immune response can be weakened or boosted by medications, age and overall health, and people with a weakened immune system, do have a higher chance of becoming a breakthrough case.
Having a COVID-19 vaccine does not make you 100% bullet proof against COVID-19, but it can lower the risks of you being infected, supported by social distancing, mask wearing, wash handing and using sanitisers. The largest group in the community that has the greatest risk for transmission for the virus are the unvaccinated. It’s a simple, but tragic fact.
If 100 people were exposed to COVID-19, it means that 80-90 vaccinated people, would not get any symptoms, but 10-20 people may get symptoms, with 5 people needing hospitalisation. The COVID-19 vaccines actually do work.
Myth 10:People are dying after receiving the COVID-19 vaccines.
Reality: It’s true, there has been reports of some people that have received the COVID-19 vaccine have died, but correlation doesn’t equal causation. An example of this issue is the serial killer scenario. Let’s say serial killers prefer to kill people during summer or hotter months. This might mean, that during this period serial killers would eat ice cream as a treat; therefore we can link serial killers and ice cream! Eating ice cream turns you into a serial killer!
But eating ice cream does not turn you into a serial killer, just the same as people dying after their vaccination, does not mean the vaccine killed them. You could discover that 500 people were vaccinated over 24 hours in your home town. After a week, you track them all down to gauge the effects of the vaccination, only to discover that 5 people have died.
You assume that the one thing they all had in common was the vaccination, so you assume that the vaccine killed them, because they died after the vaccination was given to them. However, you later learn that two people were killed in car accident, one person had a heart attack, one person drowned and one person was shot.
It’s true, all five people died after receiving the COVID-19 vaccine, but the vaccine did not kill them. They could have died for any reason, especially if there was an underling health issue. Correlation does not equal causation.
Conclusion: Vaccinations, in my small and humble opinion, could quite possibly be the single greatest invention in human history and also the world’s best tool to eradicate diseases, that cause avoidable deaths in children and adults.
Basically, you don’t get the COVID-19 vaccine for yourself; you get it for your grandparents, your children, the people that are immune compromised or people for other medical reasons, that can not take the vaccine. You get the vaccine to protect other people, like others are doing it for you. By protecting other people, you protect yourself. Any 1980’s Saturday morning cartoon character could tell you that.
I received my first COVID-19 vaccination on Sunday 5th September, which was Father’s Day. It was a Father’s Day present, but it wasn’t for me; it was for UMC1 and UMC2. Also, I have not gained magnetic powers; big surprise there!
If you are unsure about the vaccine, please go and talk to your doctor about your vaccine concerns. It’s alright to have concerns about the vaccine, but please talk to a medical professional about it.
I think the COVID-19 vaccines are miracles, but that’s just my geeky opinion. For the next blog, I’m going to debunk the myths surrounding masks, because the anti-vaxxers are not staying in their lane.
Until then, mask up, get a vaccine, wash your hands, and look after yourselves and your families.
Thanks for reading and I’ll see you in a few days!
I want to talk about COVID-19 vaccines. Why? Because currently in New Zealand, just like many other countries around the globe, we are facing a SARS-CoV-2 Delta variant or Delta Variant outbreak. Our vaccinations rates have been low, due to the staggered rollout, but the good news is that they are increasing every day. I’m booked in for my first of two vaccinations on Sunday 5th September, so I’m actually excited about this.1
At the time of writing this blog, our rates are as such:
Like I said, these rates are low, however they are getting better. Now for the bad news (dramatic music would play here), the number of anti-vaxxers are growing, locally and nationally. When I went to a clinic, a few months ago for my yearly influenza vaccination, I got chatting to one of doctors about the COVID-19 vaccine rollout and its progress for the region.
The doctor told me that it was not going well, because of the large number of anti-vaxxers that were campaigning against the vaccine. The doctor also said the anti-vaxxers’ online misinformation, along with their protests and meetings, were placing seeds of doubt into people’s minds, thus making them more hesitant about receiving the vaccine.
The doctor added that the DHB (District Health Board) were going to have to find a way to push back against the anti-vaxxers, otherwise hundreds, if not thousands of people, will refuse to receive the vaccine, which will put more people at risk.
I will be honest with you; anti-vaxxers are in my top five worse conspiracy theorists, along with flat earthers, evolution deniers, climate change deniers and holocaust deniers. They upset me. Misinformation and disinformation about the COVID-19 vaccine seem to be on the rise in New Zealand and throughout the world, so I wanted clear up some myths and misconceptions about the vaccine.
I’ll tackle five myths in this blog and another five myths in the next blog, because my kids are asking if I can play their 500th game of Hide-in-Seek with them. I mean, who would want to write a blog about COVID-19 vaccines, when you could be playing Hide-in-Seek in lockdown for the 500th time?!
Reality: There are several COVID-19 vaccines that have been developed by different companies. They include Pfizer/BioNTech, AstraZeneca, Moderna, Janssen, Covaxin, and Novavax to name a few. New Zealand is primarily using the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine.
Myth 2:The vaccine’s side effects are terribleand it’s not safe.
Reality: To start with, no medicine, drug or vaccine is 100% safe for 100% of the population. People can have different rare side effects or reactions to certain medicine, while other people do not. Every medicine that you take is a risk, but you take a risk every time you drive a car, eat an apple or walk across the road. There are risks with any medicine or vaccines, but the risks always outweigh the benefits.
The best or worse example of this, is the late great, Bruce Lee. He died from an edema in the brain, caused by having a reaction with Equagesic, a prescription painkiller, which contained both aspirin and the tranquilizer meprobamate.
Some common side effects of the COVID-19 vaccine include:
For rare side effects, temporary one-sided facial drooping and temporary inflammation of the heart wall (myocarditis) have been reported as rare side effects, affecting every 1 in 1,000 to 1 in 10,000 people.
Myth 3:The vaccine has been rushed and has not been tested.
Reality: It’s unfair to say these vaccines have been rushed; it’s more like they have been fast tracked. The researchers and scientists that have developed the different vaccines, have not cut corners in their development, in terms of safety.
Research funds were released for such a crisis, which has meant vaccine development was given a top priority for the world’s population. Even if some company is reckless with their vaccine development, the vaccine still has to pass a country’s vaccine medical authority, which is usually an organisation or agency, and not a business.
For New Zealand, that agency is Medsafe, and the Pfizer/BioNTech has met their standards and passed. Independent studies have researched the vaccines through trials and phases, and they will continue to be studied for safety and effectiveness.
Myth 4:The vaccine has microchips in it, so the government can track you.
Reality: Not a single COVID-19 vaccine has been developed to contain microchips, to track the public. Seriously, this is absurd. Governments and large technology companies don’t need to track us, by inserting microchips into vaccines; they are already tracking you through your smartphone and computer.
Myth 5:The vaccine can change your DNA.
Reality: No COVID-19 vaccine can rewrite or change your DNA. The various vaccines have been developed in different ways.
Inactivated or weakened virus vaccines, which use a form of the virus that has been inactivated or weakened so it doesn’t cause disease, but still generates an immune response. (Covaxin)
Protein-based vaccines, which use harmless fragments of proteins or protein shells that mimic the COVID-19 virus to safely generate an immune response.
Viral vector vaccines, which use a safe virus that cannot cause disease but serves as a platform to produce coronavirus proteins to generate an immune response. (AstraZeneca and Janssen).
RNA and DNA vaccines, a cutting-edge approach that uses genetically engineered RNA or DNA to generate a protein that itself safely prompts an immune response. (Pfizer/BioNTech, Moderna and Novavax).
This DNA changing myth has spread from the vaccines using RNA (mRNA) like Pfizer/BioNTech, Moderna and Novavax. Also known as Deoxyribonucleic acid, DNA is a molecule that resides in the nucleus of cells. It contains coded information that regulates the maintenance and growth of living organisms; and it’s the shape of a double helix.
mRNA vaccines send instructions to your body, to create an immune response to fight COVID-19. At no point does the mRNA vaccines interact or affect your DNA; it’s physically impossible. The mRNA vaccine teaches your cell on how to create special proteins that activate your immune system; it never enters the nucleus of the cell, where DNA is stored.
Now I’ll tackle the remaining five myths about the COVID-19 vaccine in the next blog post.
Until then, mask up, get a vaccine, wash your hands, and look after yourselves and your families.
Thanks for reading and I’ll see you in a few days!
Lockdown, lockdown, lockdown. I think this second national lockdown is bringing out some interesting behaviour in people; though it’s not limited to humans. I’ll do my best to explain, but since I’m on lockdown time, things will get done, when they get done.
I love that during lockdown, the highlight of your day, could be a solo trip to the supermarket. Whether it’s for some small or large items, you mask up and off you go. It’s so satisfying and so sad at the same time, though. It’s a strange feeling being the designated shopper, because to me, it’s like you’re being rewarded and punished altogether.
The days are starting to merge into each together, so the only way to identify any of them, is to mark Wednesday on the calendar, which is bin day. The arrival of the rubbish and recycling trucks has fast become a weekly highlight to our household, as well as other homes.
Beady eyed children can be seen peering through their windows, staring at the trucks; along with their parents. Previously, the arrival of the trucks would have escaped the attention of a lot of parents, but now they are just as excited to witness the trucks appear, as their children.
Speaking of windows, I have tried very hard to raise my kids to not judge people by their appearance. Whether it’s by their gender, religion, race, you name it, we have discussed it. That policy is in the bin, thanks to lockdown.
We all eat lunch by the front window now, passing the time and some type of judgment on anything or anyone we see now. It could be their shoes, car, hair, jacket or even a dog; the family that judges together, stays together. This is our new form of entertainment.
I’ve also noticed a few odd things during lockdown in my house. One is that my house has slowly turned into a museum of Lego and Duplo projects. There are space shuttles, space probes and starships in the hallway; fire engines and police cars under the table; a train outside the bathroom; a construction site in the boys’ room; a submarine and a dump truck in the kitchen; and for some unknown reason, there is a postie that is sitting on a flying pizza delivery motorcycle, on my bedside cabinet.
Apparently UMC1 and UMC2 are not claiming ownership of these vehicles, but I am not allowed to move them, in case the owner or owners came back. Seriously, these projects are driving me crazy, because I feel like I’m Godzilla that has to walk carefully through a city, so I don’t destroy anything.
Another problem is that the couch in the lounge keeps exploding every 15 minutes, but luckily it’s only the cushions that end up on the floor, and nobody has been injured yet. In a totally unrelated matter, UMC1 and UMC2 have informed me that the floor in the lounge has sadly turned into lava. I had no idea my house was a prime location for convection, since the house was so obviously been built over a hot spot.
How do you judge success? During this lockdown, it’s just making everybody get out of their pyjamas before 11am; the beds get actually made; everybody gets fed; teeth get brushed; nobody gets divorced; and the dog gets a walk. The bar is set very low indeed.
ZOOM calls can be a bit dicey at the moment. I feel conflicted about having ZOOM meetings and calls, while sometimes wearing pyjama pants. Also, have you ever tried to take a ZOOM meeting or a call, with two children under 7 years old in the house?
It takes a lot of self control, not to bury my head in my hands during a ZOOM session, when my youngest son enters into the room to proclaim that he has removed his underwear, because he is now a rocket sensor, and rocket sensors don’t wear underwear.
He then flings his undies at me, to stress how serious he is about not wearing underwear. I have no idea about what exactly is a rocket sensor; but we have introduced a new rule in the house: Even rocket sensors have to wear underwear.
New Zealand society is also starting to change and an example of this are the cats. Yes, you heard me correctly, the cats. I live in a cul-de-sac that does not get a huge amount of traffic. Because of this, the cats in the neighbourhood tend to wander about, wherever they want…because they’re cats.
The thing is, since we have gone into lockdown, the cat population has become seriously more assertive. Instead of a cat visiting our property once every three days, we are getting three-four cats, every single day. Our dog is enjoying chasing them away, though to be fair, during lockdown he is unofficially off duty.
The cats are now sitting on the footpath and the road like they have claimed everything. Some of them stretch out and to go sleep. They are everywhere. If you were walking on the footpath and met a cat before lockdown, they would quickly get up and run away.
Not now though. Now, if you are walking along the footpath and encounter a cat, they refuse to move. Whether you step round them or step over them, they will not move. Even if a cat is sitting in the middle of the road, and a car is driven towards them, they will not move. It’s almost like they are saying “You want me to move? Come and make me.”
I’m not sure if it’s because the cats are slowly taking over the neighbourhood or they are just sick of lockdown and they don’t want to spend extra time with their families. I’m not intelligent enough to know the answer.
In addition to this, we have an issue at multiple supermarkets across the country. Some supermarkets have been running out of toilet paper and it’s getting that bad, some stores are restricting one bag of toilet paper per customer. I can think of only two reasons for the shortage: Either the entire population of New Zealand have diarrhoea or people are stockpiling toilet paper, because they’re selfish; and I don’t know which scenario is worse.
I have also noticed the rise in anti-vaxxing and anti-mask content, both locally and nationally. Because these two delightful little misinformed groups have actually managed to push my science literacy buttons, I’m going to donate the next two blog posts addressing myths and claims surrounding mask wearing and COVID-19 vaccines.
Until then, mask up, get a vaccine, wash your hands, and look after yourselves and your families.
Thanks for reading and I’ll see you in a few days!
At the time I’m writing this blog post, we have entered our second national lockdown, because of the appearance of the COVID-19 Delta Variant within the community. Now I’m not going to talk about the dangers of the Delta Variant or the need for higher vaccination rates. That could be an entire blog post by itself!
What I really want to talk about are the people that are helping, which is actually everybody. Sorry, this is basically a long overdue thank you letter. I realise many other people have done this before, but I still want to say thank you.
Thank you to the scientists and researchers that have dedicated hundreds of hours in developing COVID-19 vaccines.
Thank you to the frontline medical workers that are administering and analysing COVID-19 tests, as well as conducting the vaccinations.
Thank you to doctors and nurses that are working at hospitals treating COVID-19 patients, as well as running and operating clinics.
Thank you to emergency management workers like police, firefighters and paramedics, that are still working.
Thank you to the teachers doing online learning from their homes, while looking after their own children.
Thank you to the children giving up birthday parties with their friends and playing at the park.
Thank you to the farmers that are working hard to produce our food.
Thank you to the cleaners that are keeping public spaces clean and safe.
Thank you to health officials that are educating us about COVID-19 prevention and vaccines.
Thank you to the media for providing us with up to date information.
Thank you to our families for continuing to put up with us.
Thank you to the aged care workers for keeping our elderly safe.
Thank you to petrol station workers for being there.
Thank you to the public for staying home to save lives.
Thank you to the truck drivers that are moving freight and goods around the nation.
Thank you to the posties and courier drivers for keeping us sane, with your deliveries.
And finally, thank you to the supermarket workers for actually turning up and providing us with what we need.
I know this blog post is not very entertaining, however Lockdown Edition Part 2, will be about my observations about my family and society during lockdown.
I want to talk about the Nazis. Why? To be honest, I don’t exactly want to talk about them, but things that have outlived them. I could try and explain who and what the Nazis were, but I think the majority of the world may have already figured what they did. I mean, if you want to fight some real world collective villains, your first choice would either be the Ku Klux Klan or the Nazis. They are so easy to hate.
I feel the Nazis have left a stain on humanity, that will probably never really wash off. That being the case, I wanted to point out a few things. I think some people have forgotten that the Nazis were originally a political party called the National Socialist German Workers’ Party or Nazi for short.
The far right party was founded in 1920, while Germany was still recovering from the First World War. In 1933, they were voted into power and ushered in what they called the German Reich or the Third Reich, which the Nazis claimed would last a thousand years. It lasted only 12 years, because it ended in 1945, with the end of the European campaign of the Second World War and the defeat of the Nazis.
Now someone may say that the Third Reich lasted only 12 years, but considering the Nazis had formed in 1920; at least to me, the Nazis had lasted 25 years. A quarter of a century, instead of a thousand years. I simply can’t stop smiling at that fact!
So the Nazis only lasted 25 years. That’s a long time, right? The funny thing is that there are many things and people that have actually outlasted and outlived the entire Nazi party. Now imagine if there was a list of these things and people.
Behold, may I present to you, 15 things that have outlived 25 years of the entire Nazi party:
The original run of the tv show, Doctor Who; refereed to as Classic Who (1963-1989: 26 years)
The length of time for Nelson Mandela’s imprisonment (November 1962-February 1990: 27 years)
The entire The Land Before Time movie series (1988-2016: 28 years)
The length of time it takes Saturn to orbit the Sun (29 years)
The Dark Tower novel series by Stephen King (1982-2012: 30 years)
The number 4 reactor at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in Ukraine exploded, remains the world’s worst nuclear disaster (1986-2021: 35 years)
The first news story on an unidentified disease appeared in a newspaper, which was later named as AIDS. (1981-2021: 40 years)
The time it took to construct the Charles Bridge, in Prague, Czech Republic (1357-1402: 45 years)
The introduction of McDonald’s Quarter Pounder (1971-2021: 50 years)
The national flag of Botswana was adopted (1966-2021: 55 years)
The reign of Emperor Qianlong ofthe Qing dynasty (1735-1796: 60 years and 114 days)
The release of the 4th James Bond novel, Diamonds Are Forever (1956-2021: 65 years)
The current age of my Dad (1951-2021: 70 years)
The current marriage of the 39th President of United States of America Jimmy Carter and Rosalynn Carter (1946-2021: 75 years)
The first appearance of Wonder Woman (1941-2021: 80 years)
Does this list change anything? No it doesn’t, except that it makes me feel happy to highlight that King Shark from The Suicide Squad, has existed for 27 years; 2 years longer than the Nazis. That’s embarrassing.
I want to talk about being a parent. Why? Because it’s the hardest and happiest job I have ever had and I also have it for the rest of my life.
Now for the people out there that actually read this blog; firstly I am very grateful. Secondly, some of you may actually be parents, or thinking about becoming parents. I don’t know if I can offer any life hacks with this, except talking about my experiences.
My experiences as a parent, are also as a father. This means I have been called “Da-da, Dud-dud, Dad-eee, Daddy, Dad and Oh no, I meant the other one!” I don’t know about you, but I walk around with a lot of emotions and thoughts, relating to being a parent and my children. UMC1 is now six and attends primary school, while UMC2 is three and goes with my wife to Playcentre; which is an ECE learning centre, but it’s run by parents.
With UMC1 and UMC2, we try to raise them the same, but that’s not really possible. Because of this, parent life has proved to be…well, interesting. There have been several conversations and incidents that are seared into my memory involving my kids. Conversations that I never thought I would be having with another human being, but equally experiencing a truly insane moment with my children.
To start the ball rolling, do you know what a meconium is? Basically it’s a newborn baby’s first poo, which is a dark green colour. At the birth of my first son, I wore a Superman t-shirt at the hospital, because, well, I’m a geek. Anyway, after UMC1 was born and he had a cuddle with his Mum, I was allowed a turn.
We all forgot about the meconium, so I was horrified when it happens. However my wife, midwife and nurse thought it was hilarious. I had to wash the Superman t-shirt when I got home, to remove the kryptonite infused poo. Twice. Welcome to parenthood, Daddy!
The universe was listening and watching that day, because 3 years later, UMC2 relieved his meconium on my wife. He enjoys hearing the story about the time he did a poo on Mummy.
Let’s now look at some unique conversations that only a parent could experience.
One conversation went like this:
UMC1: Daddy, can you sell people?
Me: Well, you can sell your time to people. That’s what work is. You trade or sell your time to other people for a job and they give you money. You can do that. But no, you can’t actually sell a person, because you can’t own a person. There are laws about this, a person can’t own another person, so you can’t sell them.
UMC1: Ok, but what if they are really annoying?
Me: Oh, I get it. Let’s clear this up right now. We are not selling your brother, alright? We are not getting rid of him. He’s a part of this family, he’s your brother, we are not selling him. Ok? Whatever the problem is, we can sort it out.
UMC1: It wouldn’t work out, so that’s ok.
Me: What do you mean?
UMC1: UMC2 is useless, no one would give him a job anyway.
That was a situation where I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry.
UMC2 is quite into threats at the moment. By this I mean if you ask him to do something that he doesn’t want to do, he may threaten that he’s going to “…put you in the rubbish bin, so you’ll eat garbage” or my favourite is when he doesn’t like what he is hearing, so he will say to me “Put your words back in your mouth.”
When he is doing a jiggly dance and refusing to go to the toilet, he sometimes threatens that he’s never going to poo ever again. It’s very difficult to keep a straight face when this occurs.
There is also another aspect of parental life that nobody ever warned me about: farts. An example of this is when UMC1 is sits on me and farts. Once UMC1’s fart was so powerful, not only could I smell it and hear it, I could also feel it. I mean, it was like my leg had been dipped into the Bog of Eternal Stench.
Another time, UMC2 was sitting on my head while wrestling, then he decided to fart on my head. Has anybody ever does this to you? It’s a horrible feeling, especially when UMC2 rolled off my head and started running to the toilet, while clutching his bottom and shouting back to me, that he does not need to go to the toilet. Stinkor and UMC2 have a lot in common.
Socks are proving to be an ongoing issue in our house; or should I say missing socks. I would put some socks and gumboot/shoes on UMC2, then strap him into his car seat. By the time I have walked around to the other side of the car; opened the door; sat down; closed the door and put my seat belt on; all of UMC2’s socks and footwear are off. Seriously, they are all off! His normal excuse is that his feet were melting. It’s like he’s been training with Mister Miracle, the way he can escape his socks.
Also when folding the washing, I find socks that belong to the boys, but they have no partners. This is not a new problem to the world, however would Black Panther or Wonder Woman ever have this problem? The frustrating thing is that I can usually find the missing sock later on, however they are usually under a bed, behind a door, in the toy tub, in the dog’s Fortress of Solitude, out the dog door, behind the couch or in the firewood basket. I feel like I’m Lara Croft searching for treasure in my own home.
Which leads us to lack of sleep. I remember years ago and before I had children, someone suggested that I sleep as much as I could, because I wouldn’t have another good night’s sleep for 18 years. I smiled and laughed at this. Oh, I was very naive and stupid.
I also believe UMC2 may have superhuman powers. The reason is because before my wife and I go to bed, someone always checks on the boys, because they share a room. Once in bed, we fall asleep; however at some point in the early morning, I would wake up and discover UMC2 has teleported and is fast asleep between my wife and myself. He can neither climb into our bed, as quiet as a ninja, without disturbing anyone and goes to sleep or he can just teleport. I choose to believe he can teleport.
Try and imagine also, you are lying in bed asleep, when someone starts kicking your head and your body, because apparently they don’t have enough room in the bed, even though they are lying sideways or pretending to be a starfish.
And somehow it’s my fault, UMC2 will point out, that he can’t sleep because 1.) I am breathing too loudly, so I need to stop breathing and 2.) He doesn’t have enough room, so I should leave the bed and sleep outside.
Or UMC1 is awake and reciting different songs from school or experimenting with making different emergency vehicles sirens. Then later on at work, colleagues have to ask why I am having energy drinks for my morning break: it’s easy, my children believe that sleep is for the weak and I am very, very weak.
All and all, it’s fun. The insanity of living with two small people that believe the height of comedy, is the smell of a dog that has rolled on a dead crab or the highest level of cuisine, is a plate of hash browns and nuggets; means as a parent, you need to remember to laugh at the crazy parts. Just don’t let your children see you laughing at what they’ve done, otherwise they will keep on doing it, until someone gets hurts or gets told off. Whatever happens first.
Anyway, thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week.
I want to talk about Kate Sheppard and in particular, a $10NZ banknote. Why? Because in New Zealand, Kate and her allies, did something that can still bring a smug smile and a wink to any New Zealander.1 She remains to this day, an important figure and icon in New Zealand; but in my humble opinion, to the world as well.
Before I rant on about this, I realise that all of the following information can be found on the internet and in books, so the information is easy to access, if you want it. The reason I’m writing this, is because I think she was an arse kicker and to me, that’s awesome.
Kate Sheppard National Memorial, Christchurch, New Zealand
Alright, let’s back the trailer up and try to explain what this is all about. Catherine Wilson Malcolm was born in Liverpool, England on the 10th March 1847/48.2 As she grew up, Kate revealed that she preferred the spelling of her name to be “Katherine” or just “Kate.” Kate’s family emigrated to Christchurch, New Zealand in 1868, after the death of her father. The family joined a church once they were settled in Christchurch and she later married Walter Sheppard in 1871.
From there, Kate became more involved in many different committees and organisations around Christchurch, as well as giving birth and raising their son, Douglas. One of the groups that she joined was the women’s suffrage movement.
At the time, the women’s suffrage movement was established in various countries around the world, with New Zealand being one of them. Their quest was for women to be treated and seen as equal, and to be able to vote in democratic elections.
The right for women to vote is taken for granted in many countries today, but in reality, you don’t have to go back in time that far, to a period when no countries allowed it. That was going to change, because this was something that lit a fire in Kate and her future in activism.
Kate joined the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union of New Zealand (WCTUNZ) and started campaigning for some employment and alcohol reforms, by creating petitions for the public to sign, then promoting them to Parliament.
These petitions failed in Parliament, so Kate and her allies came to the conclusion, until women were given the vote, Parliament would just keep ignoring their petitions. To be taken seriously, they would need to be seen as equals first. At the time, every single member of Parliament was male and little did they know, a storm was gathering and it was headed straight towards them.
Over the next few years, the women’s suffrage movement became the rallying cry for change in New Zealand. Kate and her allies began holding more conferences, writing to newspapers, running community meetings and lobbying Parliamentary members for their support of women’s suffrage; by travelling up and down the country.
Kate was becoming a powerful orator and writer on women’s suffrage, to the effect that she wrote many articles for newspapers, as well writing and sending a leaflet to every single member of the House of Representatives; titled Ten Reasons Why the Women of New Zealand Should Vote. To me, that’s so bad arse, but brilliant at the same time.
After a new bill in 1888, reinforced the exclusion of women to vote, Kate and her allies decided to, well…dial it up to 11. The women campaigned harder, connecting and reaching more citizens with their message of election equity. It was in this phrase of the movement that the national petitions were created.
Two national petitions were signed by women, for the right for them to vote. The first petition gained 10,085 signatures in 1890; and in 1892, the second petition had 20,274 signatures. Both petitions failed at Parliament. Not defeated by this, Kate and her relentless allies organised yet another petition!
In 1893, the third petition was the largest to ever to be presented to the New Zealand Parliament, at the time. By the end, the petition was 270m long and held 31,872 women’s signatures. The thing is, 31,872 does not seem a huge number by today’s standards; however the estimated population of New Zealand, at the time was around 698,500. Nearly 4.5% of the population signed the third petition!
The first page of the third Women’s Suffrage Petition, 1893.
That was enough for the subject of women’s suffrage, to be not just discussed in newspapers and town halls, but now over the dinner table. Grandmothers, mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, granddaughters and nieces, were asking their grandfathers, fathers, husbands, brothers, sons, grandsons and nephews, what their stance was on the right for women to vote.
The question of the women’s vote, was not something the Boys’ club could ignore anymore. Members of Parliament were being questioned by female family members. To me and quite possibly only me, I call this the Storm of 1893 and you can’t hold back a storm; not even Parliament could.
In 1893, the Electoral Bill was passed and on 19th September 1893, it became law. Although other states and territories had already done this around the world, New Zealand had become the first self governing nation in the world, to give the vote to all adult females. Even after 128 years, it still gives the nation a huge amount of pride.
There were many different women that campaigned for women’s suffrage in New Zealand. They included Ada Wells; Mary Müller; Lily Atkinson; Meri Mangakāhia; Annie Jane Schnackenberg; and many other courageous women. However, after this victory, Kate was seen as the leader of the New Zealand women’s suffrage movement.
Kate went on to became a pioneer journalist and editor of the White Ribbon-the first newspaper, in New Zealand to be published, managed and owned by women; remarry after her first husband’s death; continued her activism in politics; as well as leading several groups and organisations. Kate also met with different leaders of the women’s suffrage movement in the United Kingdom and United States of America.
Kate passed away on 13th July 1934 in Christchurch, New Zealand. She left no living descendants and was buried with her mother and brother. There has been quite a few commemorations to Kate over the years from memorials; busts; streets; football cups; pedestrian lights; plays; as well as making into several top 5 lists, for the greatest New Zealanders of all time.
A Kate Sheppard pedestrian light in Wellington, New Zealand.
So, we have now arrived at the question; what has Kate Sheppard got to do with $10? The answer to that is quite simple; she’s on it. Previously, the NZ$10 featured Queen Elizabeth II, but during the 1990’s, all of the banknotes were redesigned.
In 1993, the NZ$10 was released to pay tribute to the centennial of women winning the vote in New Zealand. Kate Sheppard was displayed on the front of the note, with one of her most famous and iconic photographs.
To me, I think it’s fantastic that she’s on it, because her image serves as a constant reminder to the people of Aotearoa that doing the right thing, isn’t difficult; you just have to persevere and be brave enough to do it.
The poet Jessie Mackay, once described Kate as “…the woman whose life and personality made the deepest mark upon New Zealand’s history.” There have been many truly amazing women over the years, who have all made a hugely positive impact on New Zealand, whether it’s through science, arts, race relations, sports or politics. Kate Sheppard has more than earnt her place among these inspirational women.
Anyway, thanks for reading and see you next week!
1 I know we don’t mean to do it, but as a nation, we’re pretty proud of this.
2 This sounds strange, but there are two different years attributed to her birth year. One account says her birthdate was 10th March 1847, while another states 10th March 1848.
I want to talk about conspiracy theories. Why? Because everybody loves a good conspiracy theory. Whether it’s Barack Obama was born in Kenya; toothpaste has mind controlling drugs in it; the Earth is hollow; the existence of Bigfoot; 9/11 was an inside job; space is a hoax; Coke vs New Coke; chemtrails; AIDS was created by scientists; Paul Rudd is immortal; and there are no Olsen twins, it’s just one person.1
Why people believe in conspiracy theories, is not the basis on this blog. I am going to focus on what they actually believe; in fact, just six conspiracy theories. Six conspiracy theories that are insane, mental, crazy and utter lunacy.
There are many crazy arsed conspiracy theories floating around in this beautiful world of ours. There is a lot, but these six…well, let’s just say they upset me for different reasons. Mainly, they deal with misinformation, disinformation and a lot of falsehoods.
I have organised these conspiracy theories into three groups. The first group contains the conspiracy theories that I view as harmless and idiotic. What I mean is that believing in any conspiracy theory in this group, will not get people hurt, killed and cause offense. Just other people shaking their heads, thinking “Do they seriously believe that?”2
The second group is reserved for conspiracy theories that; to me; are highly offensive to a lot of people. Once you read it, you’ll understand.
Finally the third group, this is where people believing in these conspiracy theories, have a direct and harmful to you and other people. Basically, believing in these conspiracy theories actually negatively impacts the world.
I do feel the need to point out a warning though; this blog is not very funny, because conspiracy theories; to some degree are not funny, so I’ve been more serious than I should. Sorry.
So, let’s look at this delightful, charming selection of wonderful, well thought out conspiracy theories, that…upset me.
Group 1: Harmless
Flat Earth
Let’s start with the Mother Goose of conspiracy theories: Flat Earth. Ok, so a believer of this conspiracy theory is called a Flat Earther. They believe that instead of the Earth being a spinning globe, that orbits the Sun; the Earth is actually a flat plane with the Sun orbiting Earth, above us. The Flat Earth theory tends to be a somewhat gateway theory, to larger and even crazier theories out there; said Alice as she tumbled down the rabbit hole of YouTube videos.
There are several different versions of the Flat Earth model; because funnily enough, they can not agree on an official model. The main points on a Flat Earth are that: the Earth is flat; the Earth is stationary; the edge of the Earth is surrounded by a gigantic ice wall, which is in fact, Antarctica; the Earth is enclosed underneath a dome; and the Sun and the Moon are enclosed in the dome with us. Apparently the Sun and the Moon are the same size!
The conspiracy part of this theory is that NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration) ESA (European Space Agency) and every other space agency; along with governments from around the globe,3 are suppressing the information about the world being flat, while lying to us on a daily basis.
Now, in my humble opinion, for someone to believe in this, you need to reject or deny a lot of things. Things like planetary evolution, stellar evolution, classical mechanics, Newtonian physics, plate tectonics, the general theory of relativity, Magellan’s circumnavigation, Earth’s 15 degree per hour drift, Kepler’s laws of planetary motion, the Heliocentric model, photographs from space and the list goes on.4
You also need to disbelieve that various people have already discovered the Earth was a globe, from Ancient Greek philosophers (scientists) like Pythagoras to Aristarchus to Eratosthenes, going back 2,500 years ago, using observations and calculations.
Among many things that upset me about this nonsense, is that these reality challenged people still can not explain or debunk the problem of the horizon or to prove the existence of the dome! Basically, to me, believing in the Flat Earth theory is harmless. Idiotic and crazy, but still harmless. We have known the Earth is a globe for thousands of years, but apparently, some people still have not got the message. Maybe 5G is to blame?
Evolution deniers
Now the people that believe in this conspiracy theory, are exactly what would expect: evolution deniers. They believe in creationism or intelligent design and reject the long established theory of evolution. Basically they are anti-evolution. I know, I know, the list does not get any better.
The conspiracy theory is that the elite; mainstream media; and scientists want to control the narrative about this subject and steer to towards evolution and away from thing else. They can claim that fossils are fake, research is biased, or information can be reinterpreted. Also the notion that humans could be related to apes, is quite a sore point.
This has brought the debate about whether creationism should be taught in public schools, instead of evolution; or at least along side it, in many countries over the years; aka the science vs religion dilemma.
What upsets me, is that much like Earth being spherical, evolution is a proven scientific fact; yet people living in the 21st century, still deny it. They reject the mountain of research and information from world class scientists like Alfred Russel Wallace; Richard Dawkins; Julian Huxley; Eugenie Scott; Gregor Mendel; Julian Huxley; August Weismann; Theodosius Dobzhansky; Eugene Dubois; Georges-Louis Leclerc, Comte de Buffon; Charles Darwin and hundreds of others.
They also reject the the concepts and evidence of adaptation; homology; genetics; natural selection; niches; cladograms; molecular clocks; anagenesis; genetic drift; atavisms; and one of my favourites, convergent evolution.
Not accepting the evolution theory, is to me, just lunacy. Just like the Flat Earth theory, the believers of the Anti-Evolution theory are harmless. These people are misinformed and misguided, but harmless.
The Moon Landing
Now this conspiracy theory is lazy. Just, really lazy. Believers of this one, claim that not only is space not real, but the Apollo 11 Moon Landing in 1969, was actually fake.5 They believe that the whole event was filmed in a Hollywood studio, with Stanley Kubrick as the possible director.
They also claim several camera shots; angles of shadows; lighting sources; lack of stars; lack of blast crater; environmental and transmissions issues; along with other things, all point to the lunar landing to be staged, with the astronauts as paid actors.
To me, this is just crazy talk. Every single insane claim of NASA trickery, can actually be explained with logic, science and information. What makes me laugh is; if this conspiracy theory is to be believed, not one person involved in this cover up has come forward with real evidence. After 50 years?!
Is the reason this has not happened, because of how well the hundreds; if not thousands of people involved, have remained silent? Or is it because there is no cover up?
What upsets me about this conspiracy theory, is that a motivated and dedicated group of people, dreamt big and did something that changed the fate of human history, has become a meme mocking joke with some idiots and at the same time, belittling their achievements, by people claiming it never happened. It’s just utter nonsense to call the Moon Landing fake. It really is. Believers of this conspiracy theory are just so wrong, but at the end of the day, they are harmless.
So, the first group contains conspiracy theories that are pretty crazy, but they are harmless. If you meet any believers of these theories, you may be torn between giving them a hug and saying you forgive them for their insane ramblings, versus sitting them down and painfully and patiently explaining to them, why those conspiracy theories are wrong.
The second group could be a little bit more difficult to forgive. This group contains people that believe certain acts of horrific crimes towards humanity, have been over estimated or even claiming the crimes never took place. Yes, this group is about Holocaust and Genocide deniers. Sorry, there is nothing funny about this group.
Why people believe in this…well, I am not smart enough to answer that question. This conspiracy theory covers the Armenian Genocide, Bosnian and Serb Genocides, The Holodomor, Bangladesh Genocide, Cambodian Genocide, Nanjing Massacre, Rwandan Genocide and even the Holocaust; along with sadly, a lot more.
What makes it even more disturbing are the Rohingya Genocide in Myanmar and the Uyghur Genocide in North Western China, which are happening in real time; along with people denying both genocides are happening. Genocides are being committed right now in the world, however some people claim it’s all a hoax.
To me, it’s totally offensive to the people being murdered right now and the thousands of families, that have lost loved ones over the years, to have this filth being spread. To deny these crimes, or at least down play the damage that has been done, is an affront to our humanity and these vile conspiracy theories must called out. Every. Single. Time.6
You knew this was coming, didn’t you? I mean, how could I make a list of insane conspiracy theories and not have Climate Change deniers. Now, if you didn’t already know, people that believe in this little gem, say that against overwhelming scientific evidence; climate change is not actually happening. It’s fake; a hoax. However, even it’s a possibility that it is real, humans are not the cause of it. Some how is all about some scientists, trying to push their own agenda on to the world.
It’s a lot to digest I know; but let’s push on shall we? These people can fall into two groups: the first group believes that climate change is not happening at all; so let’s all calm down. The second group is reserved for people that accept climate change is real, but it’s not humans warming the planet, it’s part of the Earth’s natural cycle.
I have many issues with the believers of this craziness. Whether it’s the first group with simply denying that climate change does not exist or the second group passing the buck onto someone, because “…we didn’t make the mess, why should we clean it up?” They feel that that emotional, financial, physical sacrifices are too much for humanity to curb climate change, so why should they change anything about their behaviour?
These people also like using the term “global warming”, because it gives them the necessary tools to dismantle the argument. “It can’t be global warming, if we are getting colder temperatures.” or “It’s so wet and cold today, what happened to global warming?”
These people don’t understand, with rising CO2 levels around the world, will cause the average global temperature to increase. However, the implications of this is that the colder regions of this planet, will get colder. They will experience colder temperatures and more extreme colder weather. The reverse can be said about the hotter areas, because they will just keep getting hotter.
Plus, we have not even addressed the environmental dangers faced by the non-human residents of this planet, from polar bears and other arctic creatures moving south to the rising acidity levels in the oceans, because of CO2 build up.
The Earth’s climate is changing in real time, because of what humans are doing. To deny this, is to me; denying reality. This is extremely dangerous to you, your family and to everybody. If nine out of ten doctors state smoking is harmful to you, why would you listen to the one doctor that states the opposite? So if nine climate scientists state that climate change is real and humans are the cause of it, why in the nine levels of Dante’s hell, why would you listen to the one scientist that says climate change is a hoax? The answer is that it’s easier.
As a parent, I think this conspiracy theory is the worse. Believers of the Anti-Vaxxing conspiracy theory; known as Anti-Vaxxers, have the mad impression that vaccinations simply do not work, and they are wrong/evil, so they will not vaccinate themselves; but more importantly, their children.
They believe that the drug companies, governments and certain important people around the world, have been seducing and tricking people into…saving themselves and their family?
For my own understanding, Anti-Vaxxers build their argument that vaccinations are unsafe around three major points; 1.) the different reactions that people receive after having a vaccination; 2.) a child developing autism after a vaccination; in particular, the MMR ( measles, mumps, and rubella) vaccine; 3.) they claim because their children were not vaccinated and have not developed any diseases, this proves that vaccinations are a hoax.
Now before I go on, I need to point out that vaccinations are a form of medicine. And just like any medicine, there can be reactions to it. Nothing is 100% safe to 100% of the population. People can be allergic to something that is known to them or unknown. Because of this, some people develop reactions to different vaccines.
This can range from the most common symptoms like pain, swelling, or redness where the shot was administered; mild fever; muscle and joint aches; headaches; feeling tired; chills; and fainting. It’s interesting to note that these side effects, are a signal that your body is beginning to create an immunity against the disease. (Vaccines, 2021).
Some serious side effects from vaccines can be difficulty breathing; swelling of your face and throat; a fast heartbeat; a bad rash all over your body; dizziness and weakness. (Vaccines, 2021). Because of these side effects, Anti-Vaxxers claim that this proves vaccinations are actually dangerous and should be outlawed. It’s funny, because you have a greater chance of getting struck by lightning, than developing a side effect of a vaccination.
Let’s now look at the autism debate. Anti-Vaxxers will state time, and time again, about the links between autism and vaccinations. This dates back to a British doctor, when in 1998, published a paper claiming direct links between autism and the MMR vaccine. Because of this, researchers wanted to investigate the claim, so they did a series of studies, covering thousands of children that received the MMR vaccine against thousands of children whom never received the vaccine.
Can you guess the result? The rate of autism was the same for both groups. This resulted in the original paper being withdrawn and widely discredited, while the doctor was struck off the medical register. There are no links between autism and the MMR vaccine. Autism is not caused by the MMR vaccine.7 It is bonkers to suggest anything else.
The last argument can be summed up with herd immunity. If 24 out of 25 children in a classroom have been immunised, the 24 children will help protect the one child that is not immunised. By having the greater population of children and adults being vaccinated in the community, this means they are protected; but also they can protect the people that are not vaccinated.
Vaccinations, in my small and humble opinion, could quite possibly be the single greatest invention in human history and also the world’s best tool to eradicate diseases, that cause avoidable deaths in children and adults.
If an Anti-Vaxxer starts talking about how their child is not vaccinated and they are fine; it’s because of the other children being vaccinated around them, have kept their child safe, by not allowing the disease to spread to them. Also considering the global COVID-19 crisis, I wonder how Anti-Vaxxers view the world now?
I believe you have the right not to vaccinate yourself and your children if you choose to; but you can not argue with the science behind it.
I was going to entertain discussing the conspiracy theory about QAnon and the US 2020 election….but I decided not to. I don’t want to give it any more oxygen than it already has. Plus it’s just bat-shit crazy.
So what should you do, if you ever meet anybody from these groups? Just smile and be polite; and don’t bring up any of this insanity. It’s not worth it. However, if they start trying to educate you on their truth….well, you have permission to enlighten them. Let’s change the world, with one crazy conspiracy theorist at a time.
1 This important conspiracy theory was brought to the world’s attention by John Oliver. Thanks, John.
2 Yes, 100% they do.
3 Pun intended.
4 Everything I just listed is above reproach.
5 Many Flat Earthers believe in this conspiracy theory as well, because since NASA is lying about a Flat Earth, so why wouldn’t they be lying about the Moon Landing?
6 Sorry, I think this group of people could quite possibly annoy me the most.
I want to talk about Sir Edmund Hillary. Why you ask? That’s a good point, so I’ll try and answer that question, as I muddle through my thought processes. During my childhood and later as an adult/man-child, “Sir Ed” as he was sometimes referred to, was a larger than life icon that generated a massive amount of mana (respect) from the country.
I mean, I could name some of the most famous and important people in the country growing up. There was the Prime Minister, the All Blacks coach, the All Blacks captain and Sir Ed.
Say the name Sir Edmund Hillary and someone might say that’s the first person to reach the summit of Mt Everest, which is the highest mountain above sea level, which stands at a colossal 8,848m or 29,029ft.
Mt Everest is located in the Himalayan mountain range, which sits along the border of Nepal and Tibet. Hillary and fellow mountaineer Tenzing Norgay, accomplished this insane feat on 29th May 1953, where they stood on the highest point on the planet for 15 minutes, before descending down to base camp.
Now, I could try and focus on this now famous expedition; that quite frankly, changed the world. However, that is not what I want to talk about, even though it was truly amazing. What I want to discuss, are Hillary’s astounding achievements after climbing Mt Everest. This of course is not to take away Hillary’s achievements before climbing Mt Everest.
Head and shoulders portrait of Edmund Percival Hillary circa 1953.
Now, I’m going to break them down into three sections, so the first section is what I call Professional Achievements. In 1953, Hillary was made a Knight Commandeer of the Order of the British Empire. Basically this meant he was knighted; hence the “Sir” in his name. Hillary also received many other awards and medals from United Kingdom, New Zealand, Nepal, Poland, United States of America and India, over the years.
From 1955 to 1958, Hillary was took part in Commonwealth Trans-Antarctic Expedition, which he was in charge of the New Zealand section. By doing this, the expedition was the first to cross Antarctica via the South Pole, by using vehicles. Hillary actually arrived at the South Pole, driving a modified Massey Ferguson tractor. Seriously…a tractor.
Hillary also ventured back to the Himalayas, throughout the 1960’s; though he never attempted a second climb of Mt Everest. I mean, why would he go back, after he knocked the bastard off. 1
On another expedition to Antarctica in 1967, Hillary and his party first climbed Mt Herschel, which stands 3,335m or 10,941ft. Hillary also led the first jet boat expedition up the Ganges River in 1977 and then pushed on to climb to its source, located in the Himalayas. As you do.
Hillary was also the first person to complete, what is now known as the Three Pole Challenge. This is a challenge to reach the North Pole, the South Pole and the top of Mt Everest. Hillary reached the summit of Mt Everest in 1953, the South Pole in 1958 and lastly, reached the North Pole in 1985, flying with; of all people, Neil Armstrong. You just can’t make this stuff up!
The next section of achievements is about family. Hillary was a suitor of Louise Rose, whom was 12 years younger than him. She left Auckland, New Zealand to continue her music studies in Sydney, Australia. On his way to the Himalayas, Hillary stops and visits her, where they kiss for the first time, while walking along the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Hillary married Louise in September 1953, which he later confessed to being terrified of proposing to her! They went on to have three children; Peter, Sarah and Belinda.
It would be remiss of me to mention that in 1975, Louise and Belinda were killed in a plane, near Kathmandu, Nepal. Hillary remarried 14 years later to June Mulgrew.
At last, we come to the third and final section, Hillary’s Humanities achievements. In 1960, Hillary established the Himalayan Trust, which is a charity organisation that supports the Sherpa people of Nepal.
Through his amazing work, many schools, hospitals, airfields and conservation projects were built, which greatly aided the community. Hillary was also made Honorary President of several ecological non-profit groups. Hillary also served as the New Zealand High Commissioner to India and Bangladesh, as well as the Ambassador to Nepal from 1985-1988. Hillary’s devotion to the Sherpa people lasted his adult life and on the 50th anniversary of his famous Everest climb, he was made an honorary citizen of Nepal.
To end this celebration of Hillary’s post-Everest achievements, it’s one of the most obvious. Beginning in 1992, Sir Edmund Hillary’s portrait has appeared on the New Zealand $5 note; which at the time, made him the only living person to appear on a banknote that was not a current head of state.
It’s only interesting to point out that the mountain in the background of the $5 note, is not Mt Everest; but actually Aoraki/Mt Cook, which is the highest mountain in New Zealand. This was done at Hillary’s insistence.
Hillary passed away in 2008 at 88 years old and the world is still less because of it.
Thanks for reading and see you in a fortnight!
1 This is a quote from Hillary after descending Mt Everest with Norgay. The first person they met was George Lowe, where he uttered the famous words “Well, George, we knocked the bastard off.”
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