Being a bloke in an industry largely dominated by women

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn People

I want to talk about being a guy and working in an industry dominated by women. Why? Because I have been doing that for 12 years, and a work colleague suggested I write about it.

It’s been an interesting 12 years and I have learnt that there are both positive and negative sides to being surrounded by females.

Whenever I meet somebody new and they ask the inevitable, “So what do you do for work?”, 100% of the people are surprised with my answer. Everyone always has follow up questions and they want to know more, but honestly it’s not even that interesting. Jobs should not have genders, unless you have the type of job that you use your genitals for; which I do not.

Image by Ronile from Pixabay

I spend a lot of my work week listening to my co-workers chat about clothes, haircuts, small town gossip and TV shows, I have no knowledge of. I find it hard to join in these conversations, as I wear the same black cargo pants every day.1 On work days, I wear my uniform shirt and on the weekends, I wear various geeky t-shirts that my wife buys me for every anniversary, birthday or Christmas. I am not the person to ask for fashion tips or to include in any fashion related conversation.

I have had the same haircut for the past 15 years. Short back and sides and slightly longer on top, cut with clippers by a barber or my lovely wife. The only difference in my haircut, has been the amount of grey hairs slowly taking over as I get older. Personally, I blame this solely on fatherhood and the stress of refereeing my two unmatured clones on a daily basis.

Also, I didn’t grow up in the town I live in currently; I’m not even from the same district. But most of my co-workers were born and raised here, so they all know everyone and everyone’s business. So when they talk about Bob’s new girlfriend, Sue, who was married to that doctor, but got divorced because her mother-in-law crashed their boat at the lake, 4 years ago; I AM CLUELESS. I don’t even know what lake they are referring to. There are so many, which one are you talking about?!

Reality TV shows seem to be standard office conversation, but no matter how hard I try, I just don’t understand the shows. Perhaps I need to take a course, “Reality TV for Dummies” or something similar. Whenever I hear about, “So and so got booted off” or “Did you see that girl, got to go through?“, I know I can’t add anything to the conversation.

So what do I talk to my co-workers about? Well other than work, I like it when someone asks me science, history or sport questions. It makes me feel glad I took the time to remember the 967,886,430,774 useless facts, rattling around in my big, ugly head. I do have to be careful when answering questions, partly because I don’t want people to think that I believe I’m superior or a know it all. But mostly I don’t want to be accused of mansplaining.

I like working with women when it comes to a problem-solving situation, as they offer a different perspective, I wouldn’t have thought of otherwise. They are very detail oriented, which works well, as I’m usually oblivious when it comes to the finer points. To be honest, most of it is pretty positive, although there have been the odd few occasions where I have experienced sexism.

Like when my co-workers hung a nude male firefighter calendar in the staffroom; if I was to hang the straight male equivalent, I’m 100% sure it would be frowned upon! Or when clients assume I’m gay and then I have to somehow try and mention that I have a wife, in a non-obvious way.2

Clients can be great though, especially at Christmas when they give my co-workers all the same generic girly gift, but they go out of their way to get me something more neutral.

I also think I have forgotten how to speak to other men. I used to play football every weekend, but haven’t for the last two years; so now 98% of the conversations I have are with women, and I get tongue tied when I have to speak to anyone else. Not that I’m especially chatty anyway.

I think that seeing a man do a stereotypical female job seems weird to people, because that is not what you see in the media. There are always movies, TV shows, books and adverts, showing women doing the “male” jobs, which is so important for young girls and boys to see those women out being firefighters, builders and CEO’s. However men being nurses, caregivers or secretaries, is hardly ever shown in media and if it is, that character is usually the butt of a joke.

I think that there are probably many men in my situation and that my story is neither interesting nor unique, it’s all about representation.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week.

1 Black shorts for summer, though. Sweet!

2 The joys of living in a conservative country.