I want to talk about passing on or donating your children’s old belongings. Why? Because being a bloke, I didn’t foresee the different emotions that I would have, when donating items that previously belonged to my boys.

When my wife and I announced our first pregnancy, we did it by posting a photograph of three Super shirts: two t-shirts and a baby singlet. When we announced our second pregnancy, we did it with four Star Wars shirts: three t-shirts and one baby singlet.

We kept the Superman baby singlet, along with the baby Star Wars singlet, because they hold sentimental and emotional value for us; especially me. What I didn’t expect was to have an emotional attachment to furniture and other items.

Now I realise that every family would have to go through this at some stage; about decluttering the house and the kids’ belongings. This can mean sorting out books, that they no longer read; toys they no longer play with; and also clothes that no longer fit them.

Over the last few years, we have tried to pass on as much stuff, as we possibly could; purely because a lot of those items, were actually given to us. I think it would bring us some type of negative karma, if we were going to sell things that we were given to us. Does that make sense?

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As a parent, but especially as a father, I’ve been having conflicting feelings about this. An easy example of this, is when we donated some clothes recently; which were clothes that UMC2 no longer fits. As I was packing the clothes into a bag, I came across a blue Spider-Man t-shirt, that I purchased for UMC1. I remember the day and the store that I purchased that t-shirt. As I was holding it in my hands, I was hit with a mixture of feelings; it’s a small piece of clothing, that no human member of our family fits anymore.

I was surprised that I felt some sadness because of it. Both my boys had worn that t-shirt, and now it was too small for either one of them. I knew I had to pass it on. I had to donate it, so it could find its way to another child, that would love it as much as what my two boys did.

Another example was six months ago, when we sold our wooden cot. I remember buying it, because I didn’t have enough money, so I had to sell some of my Spawn comics to cover the cost. Spawn actually helping children sleep is such a crazy concept to me!

Both my boys have their own beds now, but my house is very small, so they actually have to share a bedroom. UMC2 has not slept in the cot for an extremely long time, so we had packed it up and left it in our tiny bedroom.

Some months had passed and I made the observation that our bedroom was fast becoming a scene from Steptoe and Son. We needed to get rid of the cot. We both decided we should paint it, so we could try to sell it. The strange thing is that, when the entire time the cot was dismantled, I was just frustrated with it. The reason was because it was just sitting there doing nothing, taking up a massive amount of space, in an already small bedroom.

It was a first world problem; I get it, but it was still something that we needed to rectify. We managed to sell the cot and mattress online, so I was relieved that it was going. A problem was created though, when the buyer arrived to pick it up. It was my job to assemble all the pieces, to make sure nothing was missing. It was at this point; and as stupid as it sounds, I felt an emotional attachment to the cot, that I didn’t know was actually there.

This piece of bedroom furniture had protected both my boys, while they were asleep for five years and I couldn’t help but think, this was a massive chapter in our children’s lives that was closing. I really didn’t think it would have that much of an impact on me, but it did. I remember my wife and I building the cot for the first time, and I remember the first night UMC1 slept in it.

Later on, I had to dismantle and pack it up when we moved cities, and finally be able to reassemble it when we purchased our house. It was just some pieces of wood and a mattress, but it had been a huge part of our lives. When the buyer came to pick it up, I helped him take it to his car and hoped his children would get joy from it, as he drove away.

I’ve discovered that as a parent, I’ve wanted to keep many things from the boys’ childhoods; whether it’s socks, shoes, t-shirts, shorts, or any type of clothing and toys. But if I did this, the house would be chaos. Like I said before, as a guy, I really didn’t think I would have an emotional attachment to children’s furniture, but also to their old toys and t-shirts; things the kids no longer or can use.

The books that the boys would ask us to read, 100 times a day, no longer get touched. They will be replaced with new and more complicated books, so they can be read 100 times a day. Even with the meagre amount of toys that we have, a lot of them don’t get played with anymore.

I think with donating and passing on old items, it’s great knowing that they are going to be used by someone else, even if you never meet them. However this also means, the boys will receive new and donated items, so the cycle can continue. And over time, those items will get replaced as well. I guess what I’m really talking about, is the fact that with a lot of the items that we donated, I discovered that I had more of an emotional attachment to them, compared to the boys.

I know this sounds strange coming from a guy, but I would love to have some type of profound and wise quote about this, but I just don’t; it’s just life. It’s always been like this and that’s how it’s going to continue to be like this. I think as a parent, I really don’t want us to be a family of hoarders. Though to be fair, with the boys collecting sticks and stones in their room, maybe hoarding is in their blood as well.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you soon.