I want to talk about the Nazis. Why? To be honest, I don’t exactly want to talk about them, but things that have outlived them. I could try and explain who and what the Nazis were, but I think the majority of the world may have already figured what they did. I mean, if you want to fight some real world collective villains, your first choice would either be the Ku Klux Klan or the Nazis. They are so easy to hate.
I feel the Nazis have left a stain on humanity, that will probably never really wash off. That being the case, I wanted to point out a few things. I think some people have forgotten that the Nazis were originally a political party called the National Socialist German Workers’ Party or Nazi for short.
The far right party was founded in 1920, while Germany was still recovering from the First World War. In 1933, they were voted into power and ushered in what they called the German Reich or the Third Reich, which the Nazis claimed would last a thousand years. It lasted only 12 years, because it ended in 1945, with the end of the European campaign of the Second World War and the defeat of the Nazis.
Now someone may say that the Third Reich lasted only 12 years, but considering the Nazis had formed in 1920; at least to me, the Nazis had lasted 25 years. A quarter of a century, instead of a thousand years. I simply can’t stop smiling at that fact!
So the Nazis only lasted 25 years. That’s a long time, right? The funny thing is that there are many things and people that have actually outlasted and outlived the entire Nazi party. Now imagine if there was a list of these things and people.
Behold, may I present to you, 15 things that have outlived 25 years of the entire Nazi party:
The original run of the tv show, Doctor Who; refereed to as Classic Who (1963-1989: 26 years)
The length of time for Nelson Mandela’s imprisonment (November 1962-February 1990: 27 years)
The entire The Land Before Time movie series (1988-2016: 28 years)
The length of time it takes Saturn to orbit the Sun (29 years)
The Dark Tower novel series by Stephen King (1982-2012: 30 years)
The number 4 reactor at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in Ukraine exploded, remains the world’s worst nuclear disaster (1986-2021: 35 years)
The first news story on an unidentified disease appeared in a newspaper, which was later named as AIDS. (1981-2021: 40 years)
The time it took to construct the Charles Bridge, in Prague, Czech Republic (1357-1402: 45 years)
The introduction of McDonald’s Quarter Pounder (1971-2021: 50 years)
The national flag of Botswana was adopted (1966-2021: 55 years)
The reign of Emperor Qianlong ofthe Qing dynasty (1735-1796: 60 years and 114 days)
The release of the 4th James Bond novel, Diamonds Are Forever (1956-2021: 65 years)
The current age of my Dad (1951-2021: 70 years)
The current marriage of the 39th President of United States of America Jimmy Carter and Rosalynn Carter (1946-2021: 75 years)
The first appearance of Wonder Woman (1941-2021: 80 years)
Does this list change anything? No it doesn’t, except that it makes me feel happy to highlight that King Shark from The Suicide Squad, has existed for 27 years; 2 years longer than the Nazis. That’s embarrassing.
I want to talk about some Olympic sports. Why? The 2020 Summer Olympics have been entertaining and inspiring us over the last few weeks, as well as making us feel very inferior for our own sporting achievements or lack of. However the sports that I want to discuss are not being contested at the Summer Olympics, but they used to be and maybe some day in the future, they can be again.
Over the years, there have been a few sports that have been discontinued at the Olympic Games for various reasons. Some make sense like cannon shooting, at the 1900 Olympic Games; while bowling first played at the 1988 Olympic Games, was supposed to be played at the 2020 Olympics Games, but was omitted, because the sport was not apparently appealing enough to youth, according to the Olympic Committee. Haters have to hate, I suppose.
There are three discontinued sports from the Olympic Games, that if they are reintroduced again, the public will fall in love with them; or at least I would be very happy to watch them.
Tug of War was last contested at the 1920 Summer Olympic Games in Antwerp, Belgium; with Great Britain winning the gold medal. At the time, this sport was only offered to male athletes. Why exactly it was discontinued is a mystery to me, but why would you?!
I would love to see Tug of War make a triumphant return to the Olympic Games, because of the seer carnage it would bring. There could be events for different genders and mixed; individual and team; but also having athletes compete in their weight grade. I mean, as entertaining as it sounds, having a 120kg monster versus a 65kg bean pole, would be a waste of time. Funny, but still a waste of time.
It could almost be promoted as the closet event to professional wrestling in the Olympics, because athletes could wear outrageous costumes in the colours of their nation, but also having stage names.
“Introducing the competitors pulling from the north end, hailing out of Ireland, it’s Sean “The Crusher” O’Connor and Ciara “The Assassin” Fitzpatrick!”1
Also imagine if the neutral zone was a moat. Imagine it, live across the world, watching people getting dragged into mud! The ratings would be astronomical! I realise that Tug of War is contested at the World Games, but bringing it back to the Olympic Games would be a form of glorious chaos on the world stage.
Lacrosse is an interesting sport, as well as being quite awesome. It was last competed at the 1908 Summer Olympic Games in London, England; though demonstration matches were played at the 1928, 1932 and 1948 games. Did you know Canada remains the Olympic champions after 113 years? To be fair though, lacrosse is also played at the World Games.
For those that do not know what lacrosse is or what how it is played, it’s quite simple, but crazy at the same time. To me, it’s like if Hurling and Field Hockey had a baby. Basically players run around with a stick, that has a net at the end of it. From there players can pass a ball to each other, by throwing it; a player can then catch the ball in the net.
Players work together to throw the ball into the goal; though the other team is doing the exactly the same thing. Oh, I forgot; the players also need to wear safety equipment for obvious reasons: sticks, flying balls, anger…not a safe combination. Just like martinis and driving or siblings play fighting; someone will always get hurt.
The main reason that I would love for lacrosse to be brought back to the Olympic Games is about speed. Lacrosse is an extremely fast sport, which could be morphed into a drinking game. Because of how the game is designed and played, points can be be scored quite quickly.
Sitting at home or at a bar with your friends, you could watch the game, while supporting one team or other. This could be done with the rule of only drinking at certain events happening in the game, such as : scoring, body checking or stick checking. If there is the extra man offense, the person supporting the penalised team, would need to scull their drink. Even if you lose the game, you would still win.
It could became one of the most popular sports to be supported at the Olympic Games, especially with university students. Seriously, having lacrosse back at the Olympic Games would be a winning move, not just for players and supporters, but also for retail liquor stores and bars. Everybody wins!
Before you dismiss this, hear me out. Croquet has only been played once, which was at the 1900 Summer Olympic Games in Paris, France and all 10 players were from France! This means that France has won all of the Olympic Games medals in croquet.
If you are unaware of croquet then, firstly shame on you. Secondly, croquet seems quite dull, but there is huge potential for it. Croquet involves using a mallet, to hit different balls through hoops that are anchored into the grass.
Like I said, croquet might sound dull, but imagine if a 75 year old woman could win a gold medal or a 80 year old man? Croquet is a sport where the age of the player becomes irrelevant. You could honestly have a lot more elderly players at the Olympic Games because of this, so imagine them staying at the Olympic Village?
The parties, sex, alcohol and over 65 year old croquet players. There could be a scandal after a 70 year old croquet player gets sent home, because of his misadventures at the village. It would be epic and hilarious!
If anybody from the Olympic Committee reads this blog, please consider the benefits these three sports could bring to the Olympic Games, because all three of them need to brought back, as soon as possible.
Thanks for reading and see you next week!
1 My apologies if Sean O’Connor and Ciara Fitzpatrick are in fact, the names of real people. They were the most Irish sounding names I could think of.
Hello, my name is Indy and I’m a 9 year old good dog. Mum says I’m actually a bichon cross, but I’m pretty sure I’m a good dog too. My Dad has been working on this blog, for hundreds of years and needs a break, so he asked me to write this week’s one. He is tired and needs a nap. No fair, I like naps too!
He said I could write about anything, apart from Sour Cream and Chives, but I don’t listen to modern music. I think the things that he writes about are boring, so I wanted to talk about some of my favourite topics instead, like running, rolling on smelly stuff at the beach and licking sweaty feet. My Dad said the people that subscribe to this blog, are not ready for these amazing topics….yet!
After he said no to my choices, I asked my Mum what I should choose. She is nice and smarter than Dad, so I listen to her more. She suggested I should talk about my favourite animated dogs, so I will.
This is me watching, one of the many examples of Snowy saving Tintin.
The first dog I want to talk about is my doppelganger, Snowy. People are always confusing me with Snowy, even though I am faster than him and more handsome. We are both small and white and dogs, but we are not the same. He is a Wire Fox Terrier, while I am a good dog, Bichon Frise crossed with speed and awesomeness. Mum says I’m actually Bichon, Maltese, Fox Terrier so I guess we are more alike than I thought!
Snowy is a very good dog like me, but he has a human sidekick called Tintin. I am very confused about Snowy’s tv show, because it is named after the human, Tintin. I have watched this show on the screen and Snowy is always saving Tintin and the day.
Snowy is great. He jumps, barks, runs very fast and always solves the case, while Tintin is always trying to catch up to Snowy, because he is slow. Why would anybody name a show after a human that relies on a dog to do all the work?
The answer is a cat. I don’t like cats much. Cats are always trying to hassle me, like our neighour’s white cat that sits on the fence and stares at me through my window. I yell at the cat and say “How dare you look at my house, cat!”, but my Mum and Dad just think I’m crying. I wish my Mum and Dad were as smart as me, so they would understand the dangers of cats.
Cats must have named the tv show after Tintin, instead of Snowy, because they are jealous of how great Snowy is, because he is such a good dog.
Another animated dog I like is Scooby-Doo. For a start Scooby’s tv show is named after him, like it should be. It’s an improvement from poor Snowy. Maybe it should be called The Snowy Show? Or maybe Snowy could leave that show and go solve crimes with Scooby, because Scooby is smarter than Tintin.
Anyway, Scooby has this gang of humans that tags along with him to solve mystery crimes. Without Scooby’s help, the gang would never solve anything, Scooby carries the entire show. Scooby has a human friend named Shaggy, that is so much better than Tintin, because Shaggy can talk to Scooby and understand him. Shaggy is very clever, for a human.
I like Scooby because he is smart, funny, brave and gets to run a lot, especially in hallways. I like running in hallways too. Scooby should go to the beach more often though, because even though running in houses is fun, it’s not very fun always running in a dark, scary house. I don’t like the dark, because there could be cats inside my house and I wouldn’t see them.
The BEST part is that Scooby has a snack named after him! That’s how you know he is famous, where are Indy snacks though? Maybe if Dad’s blog was famous I could get a snack deal?! If you could buy Indy Snacks at the food shop, I would pester my Mum and Dad to buy all of them. It’s great that Scooby has snacks, but he does silly things for Scooby Snacks. When the gang says “Come in this spooky house and we will give you a Scooby snack”, sometimes he should say no and go for a nap in the green van (I would!). That way they will remember who the star of the show is!
Ooh, another great dog is Snoopy. I like Snoopy, but I suspect he might actually be a bad dog. (I feel like a meanie for saying that.) Snoopy has an OUTSIDE dog house. My dog house is inside, because I’m a good dog. I think Snoopy may have been a bad dog and his humans won’t let him sleep inside. I wonder what he did? Maybe he ate something he was told not to eat or maybe his humans were jealous of how great he is. I do not know.
I like to go in my INSIDE dog house after a hard hour’s worth of work, walking around the house and staring through the window. In the movies, Snoopy’s dog house can fly which I’ll admit, is an improvement on mine; but mine is still better!
Snoopy is also great, because he has a Christmas song named after him. I wish I had a Christmas song named after me. This is how it would go, you know… if I had a song:
“Indy the magnificent, see him saving Christmas, HOORAY, The fancy tree and wrapped boxes are outside, FOUL PLAY! The wet stuff falls down from the sky, DISMAY! Indy is brave and rescues everything, before everything is wet and soggy, MAKE WAY!”
See what I did there? What a great song, because the last words all rhyme and they are in shouty capitals, so you have to shout them!
Mum said my Christmas song should be a warning tale about not eating lollies from under the Christmas tree and ending up at the vets for a $300 dog enema. But I don’t know what she is talking about.
Side note, I’m pretty sure that the Red Baron is a cat. But Dad said this is not a blog about cat conspiracy theories, so I’ll let you do your own research if you are interested.
Speaking of internet research, when I tried to find out more information about this next dog, there wasn’t much to be found (Mum helped because I don’t know what a search engine is and my paws are good at many things, but turning fiddly book pages is not one one of them!). This leads me to believe his owner takes credit for all his exploits; it’s Krypto the super dog!
Krypto has everything a perfect superhero could want. Heaps of awesome powers like flight and heat vision. He can even smell and hear better than Superman! He has an awesome costume and even his own secret identity, “Skip”.
In the Krypto the super dog cartoon, he teams up with Streaky the Supercat, which quite frankly I’m not sure I can forgive him for, however this series also features Ace the Bat-hound, so it’s not all bad! We also learned that Krypto will feature in the upcoming animated feature DC’s League of Super-Pets, voiced by Dwayne Johnson. I’m not sure who that is, but Mum sounded excited.
Last, but not least, the smartest, happiest, good dog on my list…. it’s Odie! Poor Odie lives with a fat horrible cat, who we will not name here. Once again, the poor deprived dog is not the title character. The cat in Odie’s home is quite frankly abusive and his owner is negligent by allowing the cat to be so mean to Odie.
Odie doesn’t care though. he takes all this in his stride and is always loving, positive and happy like all good dogs should be. He is the epitome of being the better man… I mean dog!
In conclusion, dogs are superior to cats, whether they are real dogs and animated ones. People should pick a side, you are either a cat person/awful human or you are a dog person/perfect person; stop sitting on the fence like a cat!!! There should also be more dog related media, as this would make the world a better place.
I want to talk about comics and politics. Why? Because I heard about something recently, that as a comic book fan, made me think “Have you only just realised this?” as I quietly raged.
If you have already heard about this ‘drama”, then that’s excellent; though if you haven’t, then buckle up. Marvel released the first issue of a new Captain America mini-series, titled The United States of Captain America very recently.
In the first issue, Captain America is explaining that the problem of the American Dream, is that it’s a dream that not everybody can achieve or the way I understand it, is that if a dream can not be shared, then it’s a lie.
Upon hearing this, some people have be upset at Marvel and Captain America for being “too woke” or “unpatriotic” or “anti-America” or “too political”. It seems and I could be wrong here, that people are really angry at the fact that comics have now become political. In 2021, people have just come to the realisation that politics exist in comic books and they’re protesting about this.
When I’m talking about politics, I mean not just conservative/right wing, centre or liberal/left wing views, but also issues on poverty, LGBTQ+, healthcare, war, drugs, sexism, education, climate change, racism and the list could go on and on.
Before I address this topic, I need to quickly talk about two things. Firstly, the way Dr. Jason Johnson reported this subject on MSNBC was amazing and 100% correct. The things I’m going to talk about are based on what he said…again, because he was right. I don’t want to take away from anything that he said, I just want to build on it.
Secondly, the fictional characters we love in comics, movies, television shows and books, don’t actually exist in the real world. Actors have scripts to follow; authors control what characters do in a book; while the creative team of the writer and artist can determine what a comic book character will say and do.
With that being said, let us dismantle the idea of comics suddenly being too woke and too political. Seriously, this is just nonsense. Comics have ALWAYS been political is some way or another. They really have.
Claiming Captain America is too political is madness. Johnson mentioned three key things for me about Steve Rogers. The first is that in Captain America Comics #1 in 1941, Captain America is smacking Adolf Hitler in the face on the cover.
It’s also interesting to point out that Captain America Comics #1 was cover dated as March 1941, but went on sale in December 1940; a full year before America entered the Second World War. Democracy vs Fascism, right there on the cover of the first issue. America is not even in the war and want to take a shot at Hitler and Nazi Germany. Is that not political?!
The second is that Captain America has always stood up to bullies; if you know anything about his history and the character, then you would know that when any character that stands up to a company, organisation, government or country, it’s extremely political.
The third point is that if Captain America was a real person, then yes, he would have taken down the people that stormed the US Captiol Building on 6th January 2021; and also handed out voter registration cards. I’m not an American, but yes, after reading Captain America for years, that’s exactly what would have happened.
Another point about Steve Rogers, was that his parents were poor Irish immigrants, and grew up during the Great Depression in New York City.
Captain America has been proudly waving his political flag throughout his years, during Civil War1, he went against the wishes of the US government; went undercover to investigate prison abuse and reform2; fighting Nazis and the Ku Klux Klan3; declines to be a US presidential candidate4; confronts drug addiction5; unmasked Number One, the leader of the Secret Empire, believed to be President Nixon6; quits as Captain America because of the US government’s corruption7; discovering the truth about Isaiah Bradley and the super solider serum8; and The Falcon, an African American superhero, officially becomes Captain America’s crime fighting partner and co-star of this title9, along with many other stories.
Captain America is not the only Marvel character, that has been political. When they were created, the X-Men were an example of African American civil rights within the country at the time, with Xavier’s role of Martin Luther King and Magneto’s role of Malcolm X.
As the reader of Marvel comics, you are drawn into Daredevil’s world, where the protagonist is blind; Black Widow is an ex-Soviet spy; Wolverine is not an American, he’s Canadian; Hulk was created from the real world fear of nuclear testing and radiation; Silver Sable was a Nazi hunter; the Punisher walks round executing criminals; Doctor Doom is a supervillain, but also the ruling monarch of Latveria; and the most wealthiest and advanced nation in the Marvel universe, is Wakanda, an African country.
Here is a small sample of political Marvel storylines:
Peter Parker’s best friend Harry Osborn, develops a drug addiction (Amazing Spider-Man #96-98, Vol 1, 1971).
Hulk learns one of his oldest friends is dying of AIDS (Incredible Hulk #420, Vol 1, 1994).
Mar-Vell dies of cancer (The Death of Captain Marvel, 1982).
Sue Storm suffers a miscarriage (Fantastic Four #266-268, Vol 1, 1984).
Kamala Khan, a teenage Pakistani American girl, becomes a superhero (Ms. Marvel, Vol 3, 2014).
Miles Morales, a teenage African American/Latino boy, becomes Spider-Man on Earth-1610 (Ultimate Fallout #4, Vol 1, 2011).
Northstar, a gay mutant, married Kyle Jinadu in the first same-sex superhero wedding (Astonishing X-Men #51, Vol 3, 2012).
Tony Stark battles alcoholism (The Invincible Iron Man #120-128, Vol 1, 1979).
Details Magneto’s origin as Max Eisenhardt, as he lived at Auschwitz (X-Men: Magneto Testament #1-5, 2008-2009).
Mutants and Humans swap roles, where Mutants are praised and Humans are prosecuted (House of M #1-8, Vol 1, 2005.)
Marvel are not the only company that have been political. Take DC for an example and in particular, Superman. He has been political just as much as the Sentinel of Liberty over the years.
Superman has campaigned to end world famine10; helped train US troops in war exercises11; destroyed slum tenement buildings, to force the government to build better ones12; dealt with the murder of his friend’s son13; fought the Ku Klux Klan14; renounced his U.S citizenship, in protest of the government15; married Lois Lane16; dealt with Lex Luthor becoming US president17; and talked to a young woman on the verge of suicide18; to name but a few.
DC has a collection of political characters as well. Animal Man is the avatar and defender of the Red, a force that connects all animal life and micro-organisms; Swamp Thing is the avatar and defender of the Green, a force that connects all plant life; Wonder Woman has become an international feminist icon; Green Lantern Hal Jordan reflected America’s involvement in the space race; Sinestro ruled Korugar as an authoritarian; Harley Quinn is bisexual; Black Lightning fought street level crime in Suicide Slum; and Lobo smokes cigars.
Here is a small sample of political DC storylines:
Supergirl was introduced as Superman’s cousin, along with all of her superhuman powers (Action Comics #252, Vol 1, 1959).
A mini series that reexamines and highlights some traditionally disenfranchised groups in the superhero community (The Other History of the DC Universe #1-5, Vol 1, 2021).
Batman creates the Brother Eye and OMAC network to spy on superheroes, which has disastrous consequences (Infinite Crisis #1-7, Vol 1, 2005-2006).
Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons create Watchmen. (Watchmen #1-12, Vol 1, 1986-1987).
Kal-El lands in the Soviet Union and becomes a world leader (Superman: Red Son #1-3, Vol 1, 2003).
Green Lantern Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend, Alexandra DeWitt, is murdered and stuffed into a refrigerator (Green Lantern #54, Vol 3, 1994).
Superman is an illegal immigrant, having arrived in the United States without the proper legal documents (Action Comics #1, Vol 1, 1938).
Reintroduction of Batwoman into DC continuity as a lesbian (52 #7 & #11, Vol, 2006).
Green Arrow discovers his sidekick, Speedy, is addicted to heroin (Green Lantern #85-86, Vol 1, 1971).
John Stewart, a black man, was appointed to be Green Lantern Hal Jordan’s replacement ((Green Lantern #87, Vol 1, 1971).
The Justice League fight against white supremacists and the government (JLA #80-83, Vol 1, 2003).
Politics in Western comics is not limited to the big two companies. Over the decades, many different publishers have brought social issues to the reader, such as:
Mark Grayson is raped by a female Viltrumite (Invincible #110, Vol 1, 2014).
Judge Dredd lives in the futurist Mega-City One, where unemployment is over 90% (2000AD, 1977-present).
An ex-superhero is the mayor of New York City (Ex Machina #1-50, Vol 1, 2004-2010).
Illegal dumping of toxic waste triggers mutations in four turtles (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 1984-present).
Autobiographical series on Marjane Satrapi’s childhood during the Islamic Revolution and as a young adult (Persepolis The Story of a Childhood, 2000; Persepolis The Story of a Return, 2004).
A survivors tale of the Holocaust, told through the lens of Jews as mice and Nazis as cats (Maus, 1980-1991).
Seduction of the Innocent was published in 1954, detailing the damage comic books were having on the youth.
The creation of the Comics Code Authority in 1954, in an effort to regulate comics and their themes.
I could go on with this list, but I simply just can’t. I’m very sorry to any and all creators that I’ve not included on the above list; it’s because of the lack of time in writing this blog, so please forgive me.
To me, comics have always been political, because that’s the point. Yes, there is a story to tell, but it’s deeper than that. Comic book creators try to expose readers to new and different ideas, topics and issues, that readers may not have ever heard or thought about before.
I simply can’t tell you how many new and different social or political ideas, topics or issues I have discovered over the years, through reading comic books. Because of this, it gave me reasons to view the world differently; or at least to try understand the issues by researching myself.
Some of my first impressions of the larger world and the diversity of people, were through reading social and political issues in comic books. Comic books in all of its forms, are visual stories that are being passed onto the next generation. Of course there would be political themes in them, humans have created them; because we are a political species.
Before I leave you, I want to present you with two of the best and greatest examples of politics in comics, I can possibly think of. The first is Stan Lee’s literary work in the Soap Box. Within the pages of early Marvel comics, existed the news and information page, known as the Bullpen Bulletins; and within this, Lee had a monthly column called Stan’s Soapbox or Stan Lee’s Soapbox.
In the Soapbox, Lee would discuss Marvel, contests and the comics industry; along with heavy social issues. To me, I think Lee saw this as an opportunity to talk directly to readers, as a means of not just showcasing and promoting comics, but also to promote a better understanding about the world, as well as ourselves and how we can fit in it. Stan Lee was “woke”, before being woke was an actually term.
The second example is actually quite simple and so basic, that you probably already know it, but have dismissed it. We have to go all the way back to 1939 for this example and no, it’s not the start of World War II.
Are you ready for it? Here it is: Bruce Wayne is a victim of gun violence. That’s right, Bruce Wayne’s parents were shot in front of him, when he was a boy. And what did he do with that anger and grief? What every child would do; to make an oath to rid their city of evil and declare war on crime.
This is displayed in the beautiful Batman: War on Crime, where Batman discovers a boy named Marcus, had witnessed his own parents’ murder in a robbery. Batman can’t help to make comparisons to Marcus and himself, so by the end of the story, both Marcus and Bruce must confront the pain of gun violence and having survivors guilt. Gun violence and gun reform are still issues facing society, even in 2021.
In a nutshell, I think the people protesting against the involvement of politics in comics, may have honestly lacked the imagination or sense of wonder, to have never read a comic book. To pick up one up and be transported to worlds, where the problems people face there, are the same ones we face here is invaluable to our youth and the old.
We are supposed to read and learn new things, so we can change. You are not supposed to stay the same person throughout your life, you are built to learn, grow and explore new things and be open minded. Having political issues in comic books is an extremely good and positive thing, so don’t let anybody tell anything different.
Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week.
1 Civil War #1-7 (2006-2007)
2 Captain America #260 (Vol 1, 1981) & Captain America #23 (Vol 3, 1999)
3 Captain America #264 (Vol 1, 1981)
4 Captain America # 250 (Vol 1, 1980)
5 Captain America #372-378 (Vol 1, 1990)
6 Captain America and the Falcon #175 (Vol 1, 1974)
7 Captain America and the Falcon #176 (Vol 1, 1974)
8 Truth: Red, White & Black #1-7 (Vol 1, 2003)
9 Captain America and the Falcon #134 (Vol 1, 1971)
10Superman: Peace on Earth ( Vol 1, 1999)
11Superman #23 (Vol 1, 1943)
12 Action Comics #8 (Vol 1, 1939)
13 Superman #84 (Vol 2, 1993)
14 Superman Smashes the Ku Klux Klan #1-3 (Vol 1, 2019-2020)
I want to talk about being a parent. Why? Because it’s the hardest and happiest job I have ever had and I also have it for the rest of my life.
Now for the people out there that actually read this blog; firstly I am very grateful. Secondly, some of you may actually be parents, or thinking about becoming parents. I don’t know if I can offer any life hacks with this, except talking about my experiences.
My experiences as a parent, are also as a father. This means I have been called “Da-da, Dud-dud, Dad-eee, Daddy, Dad and Oh no, I meant the other one!” I don’t know about you, but I walk around with a lot of emotions and thoughts, relating to being a parent and my children. UMC1 is now six and attends primary school, while UMC2 is three and goes with my wife to Playcentre; which is an ECE learning centre, but it’s run by parents.
With UMC1 and UMC2, we try to raise them the same, but that’s not really possible. Because of this, parent life has proved to be…well, interesting. There have been several conversations and incidents that are seared into my memory involving my kids. Conversations that I never thought I would be having with another human being, but equally experiencing a truly insane moment with my children.
To start the ball rolling, do you know what a meconium is? Basically it’s a newborn baby’s first poo, which is a dark green colour. At the birth of my first son, I wore a Superman t-shirt at the hospital, because, well, I’m a geek. Anyway, after UMC1 was born and he had a cuddle with his Mum, I was allowed a turn.
We all forgot about the meconium, so I was horrified when it happens. However my wife, midwife and nurse thought it was hilarious. I had to wash the Superman t-shirt when I got home, to remove the kryptonite infused poo. Twice. Welcome to parenthood, Daddy!
The universe was listening and watching that day, because 3 years later, UMC2 relieved his meconium on my wife. He enjoys hearing the story about the time he did a poo on Mummy.
Let’s now look at some unique conversations that only a parent could experience.
One conversation went like this:
UMC1: Daddy, can you sell people?
Me: Well, you can sell your time to people. That’s what work is. You trade or sell your time to other people for a job and they give you money. You can do that. But no, you can’t actually sell a person, because you can’t own a person. There are laws about this, a person can’t own another person, so you can’t sell them.
UMC1: Ok, but what if they are really annoying?
Me: Oh, I get it. Let’s clear this up right now. We are not selling your brother, alright? We are not getting rid of him. He’s a part of this family, he’s your brother, we are not selling him. Ok? Whatever the problem is, we can sort it out.
UMC1: It wouldn’t work out, so that’s ok.
Me: What do you mean?
UMC1: UMC2 is useless, no one would give him a job anyway.
That was a situation where I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry.
UMC2 is quite into threats at the moment. By this I mean if you ask him to do something that he doesn’t want to do, he may threaten that he’s going to “…put you in the rubbish bin, so you’ll eat garbage” or my favourite is when he doesn’t like what he is hearing, so he will say to me “Put your words back in your mouth.”
When he is doing a jiggly dance and refusing to go to the toilet, he sometimes threatens that he’s never going to poo ever again. It’s very difficult to keep a straight face when this occurs.
There is also another aspect of parental life that nobody ever warned me about: farts. An example of this is when UMC1 is sits on me and farts. Once UMC1’s fart was so powerful, not only could I smell it and hear it, I could also feel it. I mean, it was like my leg had been dipped into the Bog of Eternal Stench.
Another time, UMC2 was sitting on my head while wrestling, then he decided to fart on my head. Has anybody ever does this to you? It’s a horrible feeling, especially when UMC2 rolled off my head and started running to the toilet, while clutching his bottom and shouting back to me, that he does not need to go to the toilet. Stinkor and UMC2 have a lot in common.
Socks are proving to be an ongoing issue in our house; or should I say missing socks. I would put some socks and gumboot/shoes on UMC2, then strap him into his car seat. By the time I have walked around to the other side of the car; opened the door; sat down; closed the door and put my seat belt on; all of UMC2’s socks and footwear are off. Seriously, they are all off! His normal excuse is that his feet were melting. It’s like he’s been training with Mister Miracle, the way he can escape his socks.
Also when folding the washing, I find socks that belong to the boys, but they have no partners. This is not a new problem to the world, however would Black Panther or Wonder Woman ever have this problem? The frustrating thing is that I can usually find the missing sock later on, however they are usually under a bed, behind a door, in the toy tub, in the dog’s Fortress of Solitude, out the dog door, behind the couch or in the firewood basket. I feel like I’m Lara Croft searching for treasure in my own home.
Which leads us to lack of sleep. I remember years ago and before I had children, someone suggested that I sleep as much as I could, because I wouldn’t have another good night’s sleep for 18 years. I smiled and laughed at this. Oh, I was very naive and stupid.
I also believe UMC2 may have superhuman powers. The reason is because before my wife and I go to bed, someone always checks on the boys, because they share a room. Once in bed, we fall asleep; however at some point in the early morning, I would wake up and discover UMC2 has teleported and is fast asleep between my wife and myself. He can neither climb into our bed, as quiet as a ninja, without disturbing anyone and goes to sleep or he can just teleport. I choose to believe he can teleport.
Try and imagine also, you are lying in bed asleep, when someone starts kicking your head and your body, because apparently they don’t have enough room in the bed, even though they are lying sideways or pretending to be a starfish.
And somehow it’s my fault, UMC2 will point out, that he can’t sleep because 1.) I am breathing too loudly, so I need to stop breathing and 2.) He doesn’t have enough room, so I should leave the bed and sleep outside.
Or UMC1 is awake and reciting different songs from school or experimenting with making different emergency vehicles sirens. Then later on at work, colleagues have to ask why I am having energy drinks for my morning break: it’s easy, my children believe that sleep is for the weak and I am very, very weak.
All and all, it’s fun. The insanity of living with two small people that believe the height of comedy, is the smell of a dog that has rolled on a dead crab or the highest level of cuisine, is a plate of hash browns and nuggets; means as a parent, you need to remember to laugh at the crazy parts. Just don’t let your children see you laughing at what they’ve done, otherwise they will keep on doing it, until someone gets hurts or gets told off. Whatever happens first.
Anyway, thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week.
I want to talk about some Star Wars characters. Why? Because I find it fascinating that these characters no longer exist; if they ever really existed at all. Now you can raise your hand and confess to be a fan of Star Wars movies and that’s fine; so am I. However, what I’m going to be talking about are characters from the Star Wars Expanded Universe.1
Since Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi was released in 1983, there have been many stories continuing the adventures of Luke, Leia, Han and the rest of the gang. This has been through different media like novels, comic books, and video games; created and released by different companies, but all under the Lucasfilm licensing umbrella.
There have been decades of stories within the Star Wars universe, after the Return of the Jedi. Seriously, mountains of novels, comic books and video games; all expanding the mythos of Star Wars. Some highlights in the comics for me were Dark Empire, Dark Empire II, Empire’s End, Crimson Empire and Legacy.
There were also massive storylines within the novels of The New Jedi Order, Legacy of the Force and Fate of the Jedi, as well as introducing readers to survivors of the Great Jedi Purge, Grand Admiral Thrawn and the Yuuzhan Vong.
This changed in 2012, when Disney purchased Lucasfilm; which meant Disney owned Star Wars; which meant Disney had the ability to create new content, as well as erase content; for good or for ill.
The Star Wars Expanded Universe was about to change in a major way, because the way I understand it, there are two Star Wars universes now: Star Wars Canon and Star Wars Legends. The Star Wars Canon universe relates to all of the Star Wars movies (Episodes I-VI), but also the original content that Disney was creating, in the media of novels, comic books, video games and movies (Episodes VII-IX, plus Rogue One, Solo: A Star Wars Story) and television shows.
Star Wars Legends relates to the original content of novels, comic books and video games, that were published or released before the acquisition of Lucasfilm by Disney. Basically, what I’m trying very badly to say is that when Disney purchased Star Wars, they decided to start with a clean slate after Episode IV, by ignoring or not recognising previous storylines and characters, thus giving birth to Star Wars Canon (Disney) and Star Wars Legends (Not Disney).
Hopefully that makes sense. The idea about this blog post in particular, is to draw attention to the fact that I love Star Wars far too much; but also to address the point that some important characters in Star Wars Legends, no longer exist in Star Wars Canon. Namely six of them, though to be fair, there are many, many more.
These six Star Wars Legends characters, at least to me; are extremely important and are greatly missed in Disney’s new version of Star Wars. So, let’s crack on and see who makes the list! The six characters can be divided into two families: The Solos and the Skywalkers, so three from each family. I’ll try and keep these summaries short and sweet, though there are no guarantees.
The Solos:
Jaina Solo Fel
Jaina is the daughter of Han and Leia Organa Solo, twin sister to Jacen and older sister to Anakin. Because of her family’s connection to the Force, she was revealed to be Force-sensitive. Jaina was eventually sent to the Jedi Academy on Yavin IV, to be trained by her uncle, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker.
Over the years, Jaina became a formidable pilot and Jedi, taking the title of Sword of the Jedi, at her knighting ceremony, from her Uncle Luke. She fought in the Yuuzhan Vong War and also in the Second Galactic Civil War. It was during this time, that her twin brother Jacen, fell to the Dark Side and became Darth Caedus.
After committing some terrible crimes and trying to take over the galaxy, Darth Caedus was killed by Jaina in a lightsabre duel. Later on, Jaina married Jagged Fel, fought against a new Sith threat and Abeloth, fought against extremism within the New Republic and rose to the rank of Jedi Master.
So why is Jaina on this list? Jaina is what the epitome of what a good Jedi should be. She was tempted by the Dark Side, but she never fell to it; and she had the courage to stand up to her twin brother, when he fell to the Dark Side.
In a stretch, Rey from the sequel trilogy, could be described as Jaina; but like I said, it’s a stretch. For me, Jaina always strode to uphold the ideals of the Jedi, as well trying to put other people’s needs, before her own. Jaina also never wanted to split her allegiances between the Jedi Order and her love interest in Jagged Fel, though in time, she found a way to balance these emotions.
Jaina was an arse-kicker and a strong female character in the Star Wars mythos, so she remains greatly missed in the new Canon universe.
Jacen Solo
Jacen is the eldest son of Han and Leia Organa Solo, twin brother to Jaina and older brother to Anakin. Just like Jaina, he was Force-sensitive and sent to train with his Uncle Luke, at the Jedi Academy on Yavin IV.
Jacen became a Jedi knight and fought in the Yuuzhan Vong War, but was captured and tortured. During this time, he began to slip closer to the Dark Side, but returned to the Light Side. He escaped and helped bring about the fall of the Yuuzhan Vong Empire.
After this, Jacen spent some time traveling, but received a vision about a dark figure ruling the galaxy. Jacen took this threat seriously and after learning about his young daughter, Allana, he turned to the Dark Side to fulfil his destiny, as the apprentice to Lumiya, the Dark Lady of the Sith. It was here had became Darth Caedus.
As Darth Caedus, he murdered his Aunt Mara, tortured his cousin and committed numerous other crimes. In the end, Jacen was killed by Jaina, in a lightsabre duel, in order to save the galaxy.
There are many similarities between Jacen and Kylo Ren, and also with Anakin Skywalker. Like Anakin, Jacen tried to prevent something from happening, but only made it worse; and like Kylo Ren, Jacen was a child of Leia and Han. It’s interesting to point out, that all three characters are fallen heroes, but they all redeemed themselves before dying.
Witnessing Jacen falling to the Dark Side and becoming Darth Caedus, was like watching a car crash in slow motion, it was painful and sorrowful to see him transform and commit acts of evil. Though, I think that was the quality of the character; you had read about his birth and his childhood, so you felt some connection to him, because of the amount of time, you had spent with him.
Then to read about him becoming Darth Caedus, was a kick in the stomach; but I think that was the point. To care about a fictional character enough, that you hoped he could redeem himself in the next story. Jacen was an amazing character, because he reminded us, even heroes can lose their way; though they always find their way back.
Anakin Solo
Because of the way you are brought up, you are taught principles by your family. Those principles can turn into action, which in turn can have consequences. There is no greater example of this, than Anakin Solo. As well as you have already unraveled, Anakin Solo is the youngest child of Han and Leia Organa Solo and younger brother to Jaina and Jacen.
Because he was named after his paternal grandfather2, Anakin had a lot to live up to. Just like his siblings, he was revealed to be Force-sensitive and sent to the Jedi Academy with Uncle Luke. Anakin often feared he would fall to the Dark Side, just like his name sake.
When the Yuuzhan Vong invaded the galaxy, Chewbacca sacrificed his life to save Anakin. This created tension between Anakin and his father, because Han blamed Anakin for Chewbacca’s death, which they later resolved; but it planted the seed of Anakin trying to live up to Chewbacca’s sacrifice.
Since Anakin was a fierce Jedi knight and a great leader, he was involved in several missions against the Yuuzhan Vong. Among other factors, the Yuuzhan Vong then started targeting Jedi for attacks.
During the war, the Yuuzhan Vong started using creatures called Voxyn, which could track Jedi down through the Force. Jedi were being assassinated across the galaxy, which led Anakin to lead a mission to Myrkr, kill the Voxyn Queen.
During the mission, Anakin was badly wounded and fought off a group of Yuuzhan Vong, while the rest of his team escaped. He killed several Yuuzhan Vong, but ultimately, he was killed.
I think Anakin’s death was always destined, but it still was hard to accept, because just like his siblings, you had watched him grow up. Not having Anakin in the new Canon universe, some what lessens it, because of the huge, but short role he played as a hero. This however is counter balanced by his legacy and inspiring others to follow in his footsteps.
Jaina, Jacen and Anakin can not exist in the new Canon Star Wars universe, because in that version, Leia and Han only had one child: Ben Solo; and not three.
The Skywalkers:
Mara Jade Skywalker
Ok, we are half way there! The next entry is the first Skywalker on the list. Her name is Mara Jade Skywalker and she was Luke Skywalker’s wife and also mother to Ben Skywalker. Mara is an interesting character, since she has not always aligned herself with the Light Side of the Force, since she was Force-sensitive.
During the First Galactic Civil War, Mara worked as the Emperor’s Hand, which was a special operative that basically worked off the books and answered directly to the Emperor. Just before his death, Palpatine ordered Mara to kill Luke Skywalker, but instead she left.
Mara became a smuggler and eventually, she crossed paths with Luke. Over time and working together on different missions; as well as training at the Jedi Academy, they fell in love and were married. Mara was heavily involved in the Yuuzhan Vong War, after immersing herself within the Jedi Order.
She later became a mother to Ben, achieved the rank of Jedi Master and took on Jaina Solo as her apprentice. After the Yuuzhan Vong War ended, Mara continued to serve the galaxy, facing new threats. Mara also served in the Second Galactic Civil War and then hunting down Lumiya, the Dark Lady of the Sith.
When Mara discovered her nephew, Jacen had become Darth Caedus, she saw him not just as a threat to her family, but the entire galaxy. Because of this, she went and confronted him, where she was killed.
Mara was extremely loyal to her husband, son, the Jedi Order and the galaxy. She was such a bad arse, that because of her Imperial combat and weapons training, she had a set of skills other Jedi, simply did not have.
She was simply an outstanding character, especially for her redemption arc; which detailed her journey from the Dark Side to the Light. Her life was one of the highlights of the Legends universe and she is still greatly missed among fans.
Ben Skywalker
So we have looked at Luke’s wife, now let’s look at his son, Ben. He is obviously Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker’s son and cousin to Jaina, Jacen and Anakin. Also, if you haven’t figured it out yet, Ben is named after Obi-Wan (Ben) Kenobi, Luke’s first Jedi Master.
Growing up as a Skywalker, was not easy; especially when your father was the famous Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. Ben was born during the Yuuzhan Vong War and because his parents were fighting them, he spent a large amount of time with his Aunty Leia and Uncle Han.
Because he was a Skywalker, he was Force-sensitive, but he closed himself off to the Force during the conflict. When he was studying under his cousin Jacen, he started to learn how to open himself up to the Force.
As time went by, Ben grew into a very capable Jedi knight and had to deal with Jacen’s transformation to Darth Caedus, as well as his mother’s murder. Year later, Luke was exiled from Coruscant, because he failed to prevent Darth Caedus from rising. Because of this, Luke and Ben started to investigate why Jacen turned to the Dark Side, in addition to fight against a backlash of public anger at the Jedi.
Along the way, Ben discovered a long lost tribe of the Sith, hidden away for centuries; fight a powerful Force-powered creature called Abeloth; and fell in love with Vestara Khai, a Sith apprentice
In the new Canon universe, we have Ben Solo; although he is more based on Jacen, than Ben Skywalker. I miss Ben, because it was fascinating to read about Ben’s journey and connection with the Force. To me, he was very observant, compassionate, loyal, intelligent and helped to build bridges with people and relationships. He even taught his parents things that were not Force related. He was a very relatable and positive character.
Cade Skywalker
Cade Skywalker is an unique entry on this list. To the best of my ability, I believe he is the only one whose first appearance was in a comic book, Star Wars: Legacy and not a novel. Star Wars: Legacy was set 137 years after the Battle of Yavin aka 137 ABY, so this allowed the creators a lot more room to build new worlds and characters.
Cade is Ben Skywalker’s grandson, though he would be visited/lectured by his great-grandfather, Luke Skywalker as a Force-spirit. Cade was raised in the Jedi Order, but one day, the order was attacked by the newly forged One Sith; which was a new Sith Order. Cade’s father, Kol was killed in the attack, so Cade turned his back on the Jedi. Eventually he became a bounty hunter and pirate with his crew, on his ship the Mynock.
The galaxy was ruled by the Sith Lord, Darth Krayt and because of various connected storylines, Cade is somewhat put on a collision course with him and the rest of the other Sith lords. There is a lot more to Cade’s story and his misadventures with Legacy, but I really want to focus on Cade himself.
Cade’s an unique character, because he can walk dangerous close to the Dark Side, but has no desire or intention to ever crave its power. He is an extremely power Force user, displaying abilities that are truly amazing and surreal.
Cade had left the Jedi and Sith behind in his old life and really didn’t want to be dragged into galactic politics; he just wanted the free and easy life. But, as some of the characters on this list discovered, that if you have the ability to fight for the powerless, to stand against evil, then it’s something you have to do, even it’s at the bottom of your list. That’s Cade.
I really enjoyed this era of Star Wars, because the Empire has began benevolent; the One Sith Order were the most dangerous and remarkable group of Sith, you had ever seen; Imperial knights had white lightsabres; and Cade, the heir to the Skywalker name, walked the path between the Light and Dark Sides of the Force.
Although one thing was certain, you would find it difficult to locate anybody that hated the Sith more than Cade Skywalker.
The reasons Mara Jade, Ben and Cade, no longer exist in the new Canon universe, is because Luke never married; so he never met Mara, so Ben was never born; thus Cade was never born.
Whether you are a fan of Legends or the new Canon universe; or maybe both of them, Jaina, Jacen, Anakin, Mara Jade, Ben and Cade are beloved characters that sadly, we will never get to read any new adventures about them.3
The great thing is, if you miss them enough, you can just visit the book shelf or comic book collection to see them again. They will be waiting for you like old friends, in a galaxy far, far away.
May the Force be with you and I’ll see you next week!
1 My youngest son is named after a Jedi, so I love the Star Wars Expanded Universe.
I want to talk about Kate Sheppard and in particular, a $10NZ banknote. Why? Because in New Zealand, Kate and her allies, did something that can still bring a smug smile and a wink to any New Zealander.1 She remains to this day, an important figure and icon in New Zealand; but in my humble opinion, to the world as well.
Before I rant on about this, I realise that all of the following information can be found on the internet and in books, so the information is easy to access, if you want it. The reason I’m writing this, is because I think she was an arse kicker and to me, that’s awesome.
Kate Sheppard National Memorial, Christchurch, New Zealand
Alright, let’s back the trailer up and try to explain what this is all about. Catherine Wilson Malcolm was born in Liverpool, England on the 10th March 1847/48.2 As she grew up, Kate revealed that she preferred the spelling of her name to be “Katherine” or just “Kate.” Kate’s family emigrated to Christchurch, New Zealand in 1868, after the death of her father. The family joined a church once they were settled in Christchurch and she later married Walter Sheppard in 1871.
From there, Kate became more involved in many different committees and organisations around Christchurch, as well as giving birth and raising their son, Douglas. One of the groups that she joined was the women’s suffrage movement.
At the time, the women’s suffrage movement was established in various countries around the world, with New Zealand being one of them. Their quest was for women to be treated and seen as equal, and to be able to vote in democratic elections.
The right for women to vote is taken for granted in many countries today, but in reality, you don’t have to go back in time that far, to a period when no countries allowed it. That was going to change, because this was something that lit a fire in Kate and her future in activism.
Kate joined the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union of New Zealand (WCTUNZ) and started campaigning for some employment and alcohol reforms, by creating petitions for the public to sign, then promoting them to Parliament.
These petitions failed in Parliament, so Kate and her allies came to the conclusion, until women were given the vote, Parliament would just keep ignoring their petitions. To be taken seriously, they would need to be seen as equals first. At the time, every single member of Parliament was male and little did they know, a storm was gathering and it was headed straight towards them.
Over the next few years, the women’s suffrage movement became the rallying cry for change in New Zealand. Kate and her allies began holding more conferences, writing to newspapers, running community meetings and lobbying Parliamentary members for their support of women’s suffrage; by travelling up and down the country.
Kate was becoming a powerful orator and writer on women’s suffrage, to the effect that she wrote many articles for newspapers, as well writing and sending a leaflet to every single member of the House of Representatives; titled Ten Reasons Why the Women of New Zealand Should Vote. To me, that’s so bad arse, but brilliant at the same time.
After a new bill in 1888, reinforced the exclusion of women to vote, Kate and her allies decided to, well…dial it up to 11. The women campaigned harder, connecting and reaching more citizens with their message of election equity. It was in this phrase of the movement that the national petitions were created.
Two national petitions were signed by women, for the right for them to vote. The first petition gained 10,085 signatures in 1890; and in 1892, the second petition had 20,274 signatures. Both petitions failed at Parliament. Not defeated by this, Kate and her relentless allies organised yet another petition!
In 1893, the third petition was the largest to ever to be presented to the New Zealand Parliament, at the time. By the end, the petition was 270m long and held 31,872 women’s signatures. The thing is, 31,872 does not seem a huge number by today’s standards; however the estimated population of New Zealand, at the time was around 698,500. Nearly 4.5% of the population signed the third petition!
The first page of the third Women’s Suffrage Petition, 1893.
That was enough for the subject of women’s suffrage, to be not just discussed in newspapers and town halls, but now over the dinner table. Grandmothers, mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, granddaughters and nieces, were asking their grandfathers, fathers, husbands, brothers, sons, grandsons and nephews, what their stance was on the right for women to vote.
The question of the women’s vote, was not something the Boys’ club could ignore anymore. Members of Parliament were being questioned by female family members. To me and quite possibly only me, I call this the Storm of 1893 and you can’t hold back a storm; not even Parliament could.
In 1893, the Electoral Bill was passed and on 19th September 1893, it became law. Although other states and territories had already done this around the world, New Zealand had become the first self governing nation in the world, to give the vote to all adult females. Even after 128 years, it still gives the nation a huge amount of pride.
There were many different women that campaigned for women’s suffrage in New Zealand. They included Ada Wells; Mary Müller; Lily Atkinson; Meri Mangakāhia; Annie Jane Schnackenberg; and many other courageous women. However, after this victory, Kate was seen as the leader of the New Zealand women’s suffrage movement.
Kate went on to became a pioneer journalist and editor of the White Ribbon-the first newspaper, in New Zealand to be published, managed and owned by women; remarry after her first husband’s death; continued her activism in politics; as well as leading several groups and organisations. Kate also met with different leaders of the women’s suffrage movement in the United Kingdom and United States of America.
Kate passed away on 13th July 1934 in Christchurch, New Zealand. She left no living descendants and was buried with her mother and brother. There has been quite a few commemorations to Kate over the years from memorials; busts; streets; football cups; pedestrian lights; plays; as well as making into several top 5 lists, for the greatest New Zealanders of all time.
A Kate Sheppard pedestrian light in Wellington, New Zealand.
So, we have now arrived at the question; what has Kate Sheppard got to do with $10? The answer to that is quite simple; she’s on it. Previously, the NZ$10 featured Queen Elizabeth II, but during the 1990’s, all of the banknotes were redesigned.
In 1993, the NZ$10 was released to pay tribute to the centennial of women winning the vote in New Zealand. Kate Sheppard was displayed on the front of the note, with one of her most famous and iconic photographs.
To me, I think it’s fantastic that she’s on it, because her image serves as a constant reminder to the people of Aotearoa that doing the right thing, isn’t difficult; you just have to persevere and be brave enough to do it.
The poet Jessie Mackay, once described Kate as “…the woman whose life and personality made the deepest mark upon New Zealand’s history.” There have been many truly amazing women over the years, who have all made a hugely positive impact on New Zealand, whether it’s through science, arts, race relations, sports or politics. Kate Sheppard has more than earnt her place among these inspirational women.
Anyway, thanks for reading and see you next week!
1 I know we don’t mean to do it, but as a nation, we’re pretty proud of this.
2 This sounds strange, but there are two different years attributed to her birth year. One account says her birthdate was 10th March 1847, while another states 10th March 1848.
Welcome to part two of my fantasy adaptations! My last blog post was about properties that I would to like to see adapted into movies, so this version is about my fantasy television adaptations list. I hope someone out there agrees with me, with at least one of the entries on the list.
A Short History of Nearly Everything: Live action/animated over 1-3 seasons
This the first and only entry on the list that is a non-fiction property. A Short History of Nearly Everything was written by Bill Bryson and published in 2003. The book is about popular science, with Bryson unhappy with his own scientific knowledge, so he researched different fields of science and described them, to make scientific information more accessible. I love this book!
How should A Short History of Nearly Everything be adapted?
Unlike the other entries on this list, I feel this television show needs to be narrated and hosted by someone. Each episode would involve the host talking about biology, physics or chemistry or whatever subject that needs to be discussed.
The episodes could be about the origins of each scientific field, as well as how we know various things about that scientific field. Using a blend of live action and animated clips to adapt the book and explain the chapters, would be excellent. If you have seen Cosmos by the late great Carl Sagan or Neil deGrasse Tyson, you’re understand what I’m talking about.
Why should A Short History of Nearly Everything be adapted?
In my small and humble opinion, Bryson has done an amazing job at communicating scientific information in a fun and entertaining way. It’s engaging and funny, but at the same time, extremely insightful and relevant.
The book breaks down difficult concepts so people can get a taste of the subject, so I feel the television show would do exactly the same. I can’t rate this book highly enough for it’s purpose, so making a television show about understanding and explaining science to adults, would be a no-brainer.
Television show:
The Silmarillion: Live action over multiple seasons
Now for those of you out there in pop culture land, you could be familiar with J.R.R. Tolkien’s literature on Middle-Earth. The most famous of his huge volume of work would be The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. However, I want to discuss the novel that every fan says they are going to read, but never do: The Silmarillion.
The Silmarillion was released in 1977 and details the history of Arda. This involves focusing on the creation of Arda by Ilúvatar; the creation of the Ainur, Valar, Maiar, Elves, Dwarves, Men and other races; the Two Lamps; the Two Trees; the Silmarils; the many, many wars; Sauron and of course, the rise of Morgoth; throughout the First, Second and Third Ages of the Sun.
How should The Silmarillionbe adapted?
Because of the massive amount of content and the timeline of events, a trilogy of films would be unwise. Adapting The Silmarillion into a live action television show over multiple seasons, would allow viewers to connect and fall in love with characters over the years.
Plus, I can’t be the only one that wants to see the OG himself, Morgoth, walking around in his horrific glory, as well as watching Sauron grow into his power. Because no matter how bad or evil you think Sauron is, Morgoth is worse. He is the worst.
Why should The Silmarillion be adapted?
This brings up an interesting point, because Amazon Prime Video are producing a Lord of the Rings television show; what I have called the Middle Earth tv show. From what I understand, it’s set in the Second Age of the Sun, which is still thousands of years before The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings.
Now I have no idea what is in this show, but my hopes remain high that they will be using the Silmarillion as the basis for the plot. Although they could do whatever they really want, I guess. My hope is that The Silmarillion will in fact be faithfully adapted, under the guise of this show.
To see Túrin and Niënor; Glaurung; Lúthien and Beren; the fall of Gondolin; Ungoliant; Angband and Morgoth; along with all of the massive family trees of the Elves and Dwarves; would truly be worthy of the word epic.
Television show:
The Danilov Quintet: Live action over 5 seasons
This the first entry where there are multiple books to be adapted. The Danilov Quinet are a series of five books, written by Jasper Kent. The books are called Twelve; Thirteen Years Later; The Third Section; The People’s Will; and The Last Rite.
The central characters in the series change, because it’s a generational story involving one family: The Danilovs and their blood line. Their role in the series is to protect Russia from…well, vampires.
How should The Danilov Quinetbe adapted?
I think a television show would be the best, because each book covers a different time period in Russian history: 1812, 1825, 1855, 1881 and 1917. Each television season, could focus on one book; for an example, the first season would adapt the first book, set in 1812. The second season would adapt the second book, set in 1825.
That way the viewer can see the progression of time, as well as having the adults actors age through make up or CGI; though some actors can be recast, because you met them as children, then adults. I do need to point out, it’s important that some actors don’t change, because…well, they’re vampires.
Why should The Danilov Quinet be adapted?
They are two things that I love about this series. The first is the location and era. The series take place in Russia, dating from the French invasion of 1812 to the Russian Revolution in 1917. I love this perspective, because Russian history was something I only knew a little about; but these books changed that for me.
Meeting different historic characters, as well as setting the backdrop for over 100 years of Russian history, provided me with amazing information, about Russian events, but also customs and culture. I came away with a healthier knowledge of the Russian nation.
The second thing that I love about this series, is the use of vampires. My wife loves the TwilightSaga, but the vampires in The Danilov Quinet are quite different. With these vampires, if one of them bites or kills you, you don’t become a vampire. You’re just dead.
In this series, to became a vampire, you need to be turned by another vampire. A vampire needs to bite you and drink some of your blood, then you need drink their blood. Once that is done, you need to die, then and only then, can you be reborn as a vampire.
I like this explanation, because whenever I hear of vampires in pop culture, that when you are bitten or killed by one, you are reborn as a vampire. To me, it means that vampirism is a disease, that converts anybody it touches…so shouldn’t everybody would be a vampire, because it’s like a plague with no cure? It would destroy the entire population.
In Kent’s literary world, that does not happen, so his vampires are more believable. To become a vampire, you must choose to become one. They are immortal and stay in the shadows, so not to draw attention to themselves. This makes them even more dangerous, because they have an agenda and they plan to see it through. This series needs to be adapted.
Television show:
Fire of Heaven/Husk: Live action over multiple seasons
I’ll admit to a little bias over this entry, because it was written by a fellow New Zealander. Russell Kirkpatrick wrote the Fire of Heaven/Husk fantasy series, which are actually made up of two trilogies.
The first trilogy (Fire of Heaven) contains Across the Face of the World; In the Earth Abides the Flame; and The Right Hand of God. The Husk trilogy is made up of Path of Revenge; Dark Heart; and Beyond the Wall of Time.
The saga is set within The Sixteen Kingdoms of Faltha, where a family/company has obtained vital information about the The Undying Man, the Immortal Destroyer. He is planning to invade and conquer the Sixteen Kingdoms, but only if the family fails to reach the capital and warn everybody.
How should Fire of Heaven/Husk be adapted?
Just like The Danilov Quinet, I believe adapting each book into a season of a television show, would be perfect. You would have time to introduce characters and flesh them out; as well as exploring new lands and customs, so you can connect and relate to the show as the viewer.
Added to the fact that Kirkpatrick has a Phd in Geography, each book has sensational detailed maps. These maps could show the viewer where the characters are at the moment, to give you perspective on the larger world and how the different characters fit into it.
Why should Fire of Heaven/Husk be adapted?
I love a convincing fantasy series and Fire of Heaven/Husk are just marvelous. From the detailed maps to the origins and status of the Undying Man to scale of the story, it’s just amazing. Just like Morgoth’s stronghold of Angband, I really want to the Undying Man’s stronghold of Adunlok, in Bhrudwo.
It’s just the scale of the series, that demands it to be adapted. Damn, it’s good; especially the battle tactics and the relationships within the different companies, as to their commitment to stopping the Immortal Destroyer and also Husk. I don’t know if it’s popular enough to be adapted, but it just has do; and viewers would be right there with them on their quests.
Television show:
The Dark Tower: Live action over multiple seasons
The Dark Tower series has been described as Stephen King’s magnum opus. It is epic. It spans eight novels and sixteen comic trades, as well as a feature film.
The story centres around Roland Deschain, who is the last in a line of gunslingers (knights). His mission, is to reach the Dark Tower for different reasons. Along the way, he has a Ka-tet (group) of companions that aide and assist him on his quest, fighting against the machinations of the Man in Black and the Crimson King.
The story is also told out of chronological order, because the fourth book is basically one huge flashback; while the comics tell the story in chronological order. With the books, you first meet Roland as an adult; but in the comics, you first meet him as a teenager. The comics also fill in gaps in the original story, but also adapting the novels as well.
How should The Dark Tower be adapted?
In 2017, a feature film called The Dark Tower was released, based on King’s work. It did not receive positive reviews and was panned by many critics and fans. I think it’s because, how do you cram eight books worth of characters, events and plot into 95 minutes of film? The answer is that you can’t.
Because of this, a television show would the perfect vehicle to reintroduce the story to the world. Setting it over several years, would give you the time and resources to correctly adapt The Dark Tower. I mean, is it just me or do you really want to see a Thinny or Blaine the Mono?
Why should The Dark Tower be adapted?
The reason The Dark Tower needs to be adapted again, is because it’s needs another chance for viewers to fall in love with it. The thing about The Dark Tower is that it connects King’s different works together; like a multiverse crossover.
The story is so long and vast, a single 95 minute film, can not explore Mid-World and it’s surrounding worlds. Now there was going to be a Dark Tower television show, but the way I understand it, it has been scrapped. This is sad, however, it just means someone else can step up and make the greatest genre spanning television show in history.
Show us Eddie, Susannah and more of Jake. Show us the Fall of Gilead. Show us the Battle of Tull. Show us the Lobstrosities. Show us the Crimson King. Show us Mordred, because he is a-hungry; but ultimately, show us the coolest character in the entire saga: show us Oy. Whomever can make this a reality, will have remembered the face of their mother or father.
Television show:
Black Science: Animated over multiple seasons
Black Science was a comic book series, created by Rick Remender and Matteo Scalera. It was released by Image Comics and it ran from 2013-2019, covering 43 issues.
The storyline is about a group of scientists that create a machine called “The Pillar“, that can punch holes through reality and into other dimension/parallel worlds. The scientists then have to survive each world and to try and return to their home world, because utter carnage is being spread across the Eververse, because of their misadventures.
How should Black Science be adapted?
I feel Matteo’s art work is quite distinct and mind blowing, that the only way it could be done justice, if the show was animated. The characters and settings would be easy to transfer from the page to the screen, because of how amazing Matteo’s art is.
The reality and cost of recreating the art work in real life, would be a nightmare, so animation would be the best option. Also having Invincible pave the way, for an adult animation comic book property, basically sets up the show.
Why should Black Science be adapted?
Well, where do I start? From Remender’s writing to Matteo’s art, this series is begging to brought to the unconverted. From the responsibilities of being a parent and spouse; to the relationships of work mates and children; to the power of guilt and regret; to forging your own path, at the cost of others; Black Science is a sci-fi masterpiece.
Seriously, imagine watching Grant McKay and his gang of Anarchistic Order of Scientists, creating problems faster than they can fix them, would be astounding. Also the Dralyn, are some of the most terrifying creatures to be created in the last 10 years. They are pure nightmare fuel. Prepare to be liberated!
Television show:
Judge Dredd: Live action over multiple seasons
Judge Dredd. What can I say about the ultimate lawman, that has not already been said before. Judge Dreed debuted in the British weekly comic, 2000AD in March 1977 and was created by John Wagner and Carlos Ezquer. Dredd lives in a dystopian city called Mega-City One. This city stretches from along the Eastern seaboard of North America and has an unemployment rate of over 90%.
Dredd is a street judge, a special type of law enforcement officer that can act as judge, jury and executioner. Criminals can be tried at the scene of a crime, as well as being sentenced. The toughest of these Judges is Joseph “Joe” Dredd: Judge Dredd. Armed with his Lawmaster (motorcycle) and Lawgiver (firearm), he is not someone to mess with.
How should Judge Dredd be adapted?
Alright, before we move on, let’s address the two elephants in the room. Judge Dredd has already been adapted into two feature films: Judge Dredd with Sylvester Stallone(1995) and Dredd with Karl Urban (2012). I’m not going to talk about these films, however if you have not seen Urban’s Dredd, it is amazing. Really, do yourself a favour and go and watch it. It will convert anybody!
Anyway, I want you to imagine something. Imagine some perps sitting around in their Block apartment, when the door gets kicked in and Dredd enters, kicking arse and taking names. Now picture that amazing scene and imagine witnessing it every week in a television episode!
The show would be extremely violent, but that’s the world Dredd lives in. The producers could adapt different storylines from the comics, as well as create some original content. Just think about it, every week, you could see Judge Dredd sentencing someone to the iso-cubes or sending them to Resyk.
Why should Judge Dredd be adapted?
From what I understand, there are plans to bring a Judge Dredd television show to life; it’s just whether it will become a reality or not. It would great if it did, because I’m a Judge Dredd fan. I’m not an expert, but I am a fan.
I just feel having a Judge Dredd television show executed1in the right way, would make explosive and entertaining television. It really would. I mean, it’s Judge Dredd for Drokk’s sake!
Also the show could reveal the origin of the Judges, Judges from other countries, more of Judge Anderson; but also introduce the Dark Judges. Come on, you knew that coming didn’t you? Imagine seeing a live action version of Judge Fire, Judge Mortis, Judge Fear or even, Judge Death. Seriously, just imagine it!
The show could also bring up questions about equality, freedom, civil rights, justice, prison reform and democracy. My only concern is that whether it’s Urban playing Dredd or someone else, they would need to keep the helmet on. The reason is that, it does not matter what Dredd looks like under the helmet, because the helmet signifies the law and Judge Dredd is the law.
Television show:
East of West: Live action over multiple seasons
East of West is an other property that spans different genres. It was a monthly comic book series and it released by Image Comics. It ran from 2013-2019, covering 45 issues, plus one special. It was also created by Jonathan Hickman and Nick Dragotta.
East of West is set in an alternative version of the United States of America, where the country is actually divided into seven different nations. This is known as “The Seven Nations of America” and it consists of The Union, The Confederacy, The Kingdom of New Orleans, The Endless Nation, The Republic of Texas, The People’s Republic of America (PRA) and The Armistice.
It basically centres on two groups of people: one group is trying to bring about the end of the world, by enlisting the help of the Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse. The other group which includes Death, are trying to stop them. Also Death’s son, Babylon, was kidnapped and trained to be the Beast of the Apocalypse, which his old man is not exactly pleased about.
How should East of West be adapted?
This is an easy option, because it’s quite obvious. Like many of the entries on this list, a television show would flesh out characters like Death, War, Famine, Conquest, President Chamberlain and so many others.
I feel the show should be live action over animated like Invincible or Black Science, because as a fan of the comic book, I feel the costumes, set designs and prop development, like in the Endless Nation and PRA; would raise the bar for television shows and their production.
I also feel using live actors would cement the connection with the viewer, because the stakes in this world, keep getting higher and higher. You could really immerse yourself in the different nations, not unlike the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros in Game of Thrones.
Why should East of West be adapted?
Seriously, have you not read it? Why wouldn’t you? It’s amazing! The fact that the American Civil War did not end in 1865, but actually in 1908, gives you more than enough reasons to be interested in this tv show.
You have different themes running through it like power and control, with Presidents Chamberlain and LeVay; justice with the Ranger; regret with Bel Solomon; ambition with John Freeman I; revenge with the Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse; faith with Ezra; duty with Wolf; and family with Death. It’s very strong storytelling.
For me, I would love to see Babylon and Balloon, walking across the land; the Endless Nation and their insane machines; Death and his death givers aka his twin guns; the Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse for…well, being themselves; the Oracle and her creepy eyes; and The Ranger and his dog.
Though one character remains to be discussed and she would become a new female arse kicking icon ; the Bride of Death, Mao Xiaolian, the Premier of the People’s Republic of America; and Babylon’s mother.
I want to see Mao in her red armour, with the Dragons and Widow Makers at her back, pledging two things: ordering Death to locate their missing son and return him; and the second would be Mao swearing to honour her enemies’ death wishes. Her enemies want to die, so she will march with her army and grant them that wish.
Can you imagine how invested people would be with this show?!
Alright, that’s it. If any of the comic books or novels that I have mentioned, ever get adapted into movies or television shows, can I please ask the producers to add my name to the credits? Please? Also, if you have not read any of them, please do so, because they are worth it.
Now I have a full time job, which requires me to take work home, every day. Because of this, I have tried to write a blog post every two weeks, so I have the time to do both things. The problem is, I have been looking at other bloggers’ volume of work and it puts me to shame.
So starting next week, I am going to try and write a blog post once a week. I don’t know if this will work, but if people are willing to read my tiny blog, then I’ll give it a crack.
I want to talk about adaptations, in particular, screen adaptations. Why? Because they seem to be all the rage at the moment, whether it’s a movie or television show. There are many film production studios and streaming services, snapping up the rights to a lot of comic books and novels, so they can turn a dollar or two, or maybe hundred of thousands!
Now, I am not against this, because I’m a pop culture fan, so I’m always interested in what the next content is going to be adapted into. The problem is not every adaptation works, whether for film or television. This could because it’s the wrong medium, the acting, CGI, the plot and the list can go on. Equally there are adaptations that do work; again for different reasons, which inspired me to have go at creating my own lists.
So I’m going to pretend that I’m a film/tv producer and that I have a vast amount of money behind me, so I would invest in these properties and adapt them into either a movie or a television show.
Before I go on, I need to point something out. I’m interested in a lot of adaptations at the moment, whether they have already been made, currently in production or pre-production. I have seen a lot of different movie and television adaptations, which have been based on comics and novels, that I have read and love.
However, my lists will only be looking at properties that do not exist in any adaptation form; to the best of my knowledge. Having said that, there are a few exceptions, which I will explain.
I have decided to split them into two lists; one for movies and one for television. My television list is quite large, so that blog post will be separate from this one. The following list are properties that I love so much, that I would love for them to be adapted into movies.
Ok, let’s crack on with my fantasy adaptation movie list!
We3 was a comic book mini-series, covering three issues in 2004. They were released by Vertigo and created by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely.
The story centres on three animals; a dog, a cat and a rabbit, that have been converted by the military, to become a prototype of cyber-soldiers or animal weapons. The animals were taken and given body armour, razor claws and a mine delivery system. The animals also have cyber implants, that allows them to speak and converse with each other and people.
How should We3 be adapted?
The medium should be a film, because the original content was only three issues; so turning three comic books into 80-100 minutes of entertainment, would not be that difficult. Also having the animals be CGI or motion capture acting would work; plus watching Bandit, Tinker and Pirate kick some arse, would be amazing! Plus, it’s written by Grant Morrison, so why wouldn’t you?
Why should We3 be adapted?
The mini-series raises some great ethnic questions over the future of warfare, but also the treatment of animals. As the dominant species on this planet, do we have the right to do, whatever we see fit to other life forms, in order to help us; or as the dominant species on this planet, do we have the moral obligation to protect and safe guard other life forms that we share this planet with? Watch the film and make your own mind up!
James Gunn has expressed an interest in the project, but who knows what will happen!
Movie:
RoboCop: Purgatory: Live action
The storyline to be adapted here, is from the comic book series, RoboCop #12-15. The series was released by Marvel in 1991 and I found it to be very powerful. I think the storyline was called “Purgatory” and it was created by Simon Furman and Lee Sullivan.
How should RoboCop: Purgatory be adapted?
Hey, we all know RoboCop’s story; he’s part man, part machine, all cop! That being the case, this adaptation needs to join the others as a feature film. It would have to be live action of course, mixed with CGI; though to be fair, it seems CGI is everywhere in motion pictures now.
Why should RoboCop: Purgatory be adapted?
I feel this storyline needs to be adapted, because it has RoboCop kicking all different kinds of arse, but it also reveals a secret: OCP are mass producing RoboCops in a off-the-books factory. RoboCop remembers his life as Alex Murphy and has to wrestle with the choice over what to do about the factory; but also about the hundreds of people being transformed into cyborgs.
I found it very powerful, because it allowed the reader to understand RoboCop’s desire to break the law, to serve the greater good and the ramifications that come with it. As a viewer, you could be there with him, as he makes a life changing choice. What’s more important? Obeying and following the law or doing the right thing? Just like in real life, these concepts are often two different things, which crosses into a blurry grey area.
Movie:
The Water Dancer: Live action
This is the first and last novel on this list. The Water Dancer was written by Ta-Nehisi Coates and was first published in 2019. The story focuses on a man named Hiram Walker, who was born into slavery in the American South, prior to the Civil War. Hiram possesses two rare abilities: one is a photographic memory, while the other is superhuman.
How should The Water Dancer be adapted?
I think like any stand alone novel, a movie would be the best idea. You have the time and budget to research the time period for The Water Dancer; covering the costumes, sets and language. Also for the viewer to witness Hiram’s ability, would be far suited to the medium of a motion picture, rather than a television show.
Why should The Water Dancer be adapted?
There are a few reasons why I feel The Water Dancer needs to be adapted, however they are same reasons as why I liked the book in the first place. It raises some amazing themes about race, identity, home, freedom, heritage, legacy and power, among others.
Though to be fair, for me; it can be broken down to three main concepts: the utter inhumane practice of slavery; the lives of the slaves, like their hopes and dreams; and having the protagonist as a superpowered slave was a master stroke. Hiram’s ability is pure life saving, in every possible way.
Even though I’m a Pakeha male from New Zealand, I always like learning about other countries’ histories, because it allows me to understand the issues and problems that can still affect that country today.
I think this was also my first fictional book about American slavery, so The Water Dancer helped me learn about new things, but also to get me to think about concepts, that I had never pondered before. That book has not left me and I feel the film would have the same result for viewers; because they’re going home.
Movie:
Kingdom Come:Animated
This is an interesting one. Kingdom Come was a four issue comic book mini-series, released in 1996. It was created by Mark Waid and Alex Ross; and was published by DC Comics.
This tale is set in the future, 10 years after Superman retires from the public eye, along with other superheroes. In their place, a new generation of superheroes are guarding and protecting the world, but they could be creating more problems, than they are solving.
How should Kingdom Come be adapted?
Alright, this is easy, because if you have actually read the series, then you have actually seen it. I had never heard of the artist, Alex Ross, before Kingdom Come. After Kingdom Come…well, damn. The art work in this series are hyper-realistic paintings and it’s still amazing after 25 years.
If this property is ever adapted, it must be an animated movie; however the animation must be based on Ross’ work. It must. It’s that simple, because an animated movie it would be the perfect medium for the viewer to soak in the visual glory of the project.
Why should Kingdom Come be adapted?
People have already seen cameos of Kingdom Come in movies and television shows. In Wonder Woman 1984, Diana’s golden armour, seen in the 3rd act, is based on her armour seen in Kingdom Come.
Also with the Crisis on Infinite Earths storyline from the Arrowverse, Brandon Routh’s Superman and Kevin Conroy’s Batman, are directly modeled after their counterparts on Kingdom Come; as in their backstory and costume.
In saying that, the actual series had not been adapted, but by Rao, it needs to.1
From Waid’s writing to Ross’ art to a disconnected Clark to a broken Bruce, Kingdom Come is just phenomenal. It looks at the relationships of the characters and what they mean to each other; as well as to the reader/viewer. The series also examines the co-existence nature of humans and meta-humans, with a religious angle to add perspective.
I also need to mention, Kingdom Come has the most amazing and dangerous version of Captain Marvel/Shazam! I have ever seen!2 Viewers would be blown away with an animated movie of Kingdom Come, just as I was when I read the series.
Movie:
Hamilton: Live action/Musical
You probably already know this, but Hamilton is a musical, which crosses several different musical genres. It’s based on the life of Alexander Hamilton, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America and it’s written and composed by Lin-Manuel Miranda. Hamilton has been performed across America and other countries, to great critical acclaim.
Why do I want to see an adapted movie of Hamilton?
That is a fair question and it’s easy answer: I’m being selfish. Let me explain.
I have not seen Hamilton. To the best of my knowledge, I have no idea if or when Hamilton would ever tour New Zealand.3 However, being a lover of history, I want to see it, even though I’m not a massive fan of musicals. It’s a trade off; being educated vs being tortured.
Now I realise that a Hamilton movie exists and was released in 2020. I also know that the movie consists of three filmed stage performances, that have been edited together. The problem is that it’s on Disney+, which we don’t have.
Because Hamilton is not coming to New Zealand any time soon and the fact we don’t have Disney+, a cinematic film (even with the singing) of Hamilton would be amazing and it would be the only way I could access it. Sorry, I know it’s selfish, but hey…I have to see it somehow.
Movie:
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Live action
If you have never heard of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, well here’s your chance to learn something. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is a play, based on a story written by J.K. Rowling, John Tiffany and Jack Throne. The play was written by Jack Throne and the script edition was published and released in 2016. The play has been performed in various countries around the world, to critical acclaim.
The play is set 19 years after the end of the 7th book, with Harry working at the Ministry of Magic and his son, Albus, attending Hogwarts.
Why do I want to see an adapted movie of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child?
I have read all of the Harry Potter books, as well seen the films. However, I have not seen Harry Potter and the Cursed Child; but I have read the scripted edition.
Just like Hamilton, I have no idea if or when Harry Potter and the Cursed Child would ever tour New Zealand. This being the case, a live action film would be the best and only way for millions of fans to witness the next chapter in the Harry Potter saga; even if they will never get to see the play; just like me.
That’s it for now. The next blog post will be the second part, where I’ll be covering television adaptations I’d like to see.
Thanks for reading and see you in a fortnight!
1 Who can get this reference?
2 Now before you start laughing at my error of referring to Captain Marvel as a DC character and not a Marvel character, please know your comic book history.
3Let’s face it, if Hamilton ever came to New Zealand, it would only be staged in Auckland. This is a problem, because I live in a small town.
I want to talk about the Periodic Table. Why? Why wouldn’t I, it’s the Periodic Table. You see, I’m a not a smart man. There are a lot of things that escape my attention and observation or things that fly over my head, in terms of comprehension. I struggle to understand Contemporary Art, the Floss dance, comic book reboots, Sour Cream and Chives, and the list could quite possibly go on for eternity.
However, with the Periodic Table; at least to me, it makes sense. Also it’s gorgeous. Just gorgeous. I think the reasons I love it are varied and confusing. From the arrangements, the groups, and…oh, I just love it. The point is, much like River Song’s speech in the “The Husbands of River Song”, when you love science, it’s like loving the stars themselves. You don’t expect the Periodic Table to admire you back. It’s a thing of utter beauty.
Now I will never confess to being an expert on the Periodic Table. That will never happen. Ever. In saying that, I do love the concept and the visual element1of the table, though. It makes sense once you understand it; though to be fair, while I was taking chemistry at high school, it drove me crazy looking at it. I also want to address something, that I will be using upper cases letters when writing the Periodic Table. This is because, in my tiny and humble opinion; it deserves it.
I also think it’s a status symbol. By this I mean, if you see the Periodic Table on someone’s wall; and they are not studying chemistry, that is bad arse. They could have pinned up a poster of their celebrity crush, favourite sports team or favourite film; but no. To me, anybody that has the Periodic Table or a map on their wall, screams “Yes, I am a geek, but I’m also a bad arse.”
It’s so important to the scientific community, that the Periodic Table has transferred over to pop culture, where you can find on mugs, t-shirts, socks and quite anything else you can think of. Yes, it has even crossed into the world of tattoos. For people with these tattoos, their badarsery is dialed to up to 11. Spinal Tap anyone?
The creation of the Periodic Table, to me at least; is one of the greatest intellectual and beautiful achievements in human history. Now for those of you that don’t know, the Periodic Table is also known as the Periodic Table of Elements. This table displays all of the known chemical elements (solids, liquids and gases) and organises them, for better understanding of their relationships to each other.
Before I go on, I want to talk about why the table exists in the first place. The short version is that for thousands of years, people knew about different materials that could behave in certain ways. Through experimentation, they could identify what the materials could do and what would be the best way to use that resource.
Over time, these materials were described as elements and they were studied by scientists for hundreds of years, to discover their properties, by identifying and recording them, collectively. 56 elements were known to be discovered, by 1863; and in 1869, the number had risen to 62.
Previously, scientists had tried to organise the known elements by their atomic weight2, but also by their atomic valence.3 Then along came Dmitri Ivanovich Mendeleev or simply, Dmitri Mendeleev.4 In 1869, this Russian chemist organised the elements into a table, based on their physical properties, atomic number, atomic valence and their atomic mass.5
However, as I have just stated in the above paragraph, other scientists had created similar tables before, so how was Mendeleev’s version any different? Why are we talking about his table and not someone else’s? It’s simple, because Mendeleev was operating on a whole other level: his table was full of predictions.
Now I’m not saying Mendeleev had a mutant power that allowed him to see the future; otherwise he would have joined the Winter Guard or Red Trinity teams or been a Soviet Super Soldier agent. No, but he did wield a power though, the power of science. What Mendeleev did was organise the known elements at the time, in such a way that he could predict elements that would fit into his table, that had not yet been discovered.
And do you know what’s funny about Mendeleev’s predictions? It’s not that he was wrong; it’s the fact that he was correct. If any future elements are discovered, they will easily fit into the Periodic Table, because of Mendeleev’s work. Oh, I need to add that this has already happened.
Bad. Arse. Seriously, if Mendeleev bumped into the Punisher or the Terminator in a narrow dark alley, the Punisher would step aside and the Terminator would beg for forgiveness.
Before we go any further, I just need to reinforce that I am not an expert on the Periodic Table. The following rant is how I understand the Periodic Table, so if I have got something wrong in my explanation, please feel free to explain it to me, in a polite manner on how I’ve messed up. Cool?
Anyway, let us now move our gaze onto the table itself. There are 118 elements on the table, with the first 94 elements being naturally occurring. As for the rest, elements 95-118 have been synthesized through different methods.6
The elements are sorted in the table according to their atomic number; which relates to the number of protons inside their nucleus. Examples are Hydrogen is 1: it has 1 proton; Selenium is 34: it has 34 protons.
When you look at the table, you can see the atomic numbers start to increase, as you move along a row, from left to right. Where the element is placed on the table, also relates to the column it’s in, because the element will react similar to other elements around it.
Easy enough, isn’t it? Alright let’s push on with what each tile or square means. Now each version of the Periodic Table can be slightly different, but they generally have the same things in the tiles. For an example, we have Boron. First you have the name of the element: Boron. Next you have the chemical symbol of the element, which is a shortened version of it’s name: B. The next part is the atomic number (the number of protons in the nucleus of the atom), by which the element is arranged on the table: 5.
Some Periodic Tables have an extra figure on the tile, which related to either the atomic mass, relative atomic mass or the mass number of the element. In this version, the figure is the relative atomic mass, which is the average mass of the element’s isotopes. So for Boron, it’s 10.806 or 10.81. Some tiles also have the element’s boiling and melting point in either Kelvin, Fahrenheit or Celsius.7
Pushing on with this twisted love letter to the Periodic Table, the elements are divided into different sections. The horizonal rows are called periods and the elements in each row, all have the same number of electron shells or electron orbitals. The vertical columns are called groups. Within these columns, the elements here have the same electrons in their outer shells. This means they can react in ways that are very similar.
There are also four blocks that divide the elements up, which are s-block, f-block, d-block and p-block. They are grouped for their similar valence electrons orbitals.
Also on the right hand side of the table belongs to the non-metals, while the left hand side is for the metals. Clear as mud? Great, let’s look at how the elements relate to each other within the periods and groups.
Group 1: Hydrogen and Alkali Metals
1st Period
Starting at the top of Periodic Table is Hydrogen. If the Periodic Table was a fantasy/sci-fi novel or film, Hydrogen would be the Chosen One. Although Hydrogen has only 1 proton and 1 electron, it is also very different from the other elements, because it has zero neutrons. Not one.8 Because Hydrogen only has 1 electron in it’s outer shell, it is a very reactive and explosive gas. An obvious example of this is the Hindenburg disaster of 1937.
If the Periodic Table was a singles party, Hydrogen would be the hot mess that you would want to talk to and chat up; but equally being told by your friends to stay the hell away from them; it’s not worth the drama.
Underneath Hydrogen sits the Alkali Metals. These elements are very reactive, soft, shiny metals. All of these elements have 1 electron, so at the singles party, they would be ready to mingle and hook up. This makes them highly reactive.
Group 2: Alkaline Earth Metals
Next to the Alkali Metals, we have the Alkaline Earth Metals. These elements are white-silvery reactive metals, but less reactive that Alkali Metals. They have 2 electrons in their outer shells, so at the singles party, they would be the ones with full time jobs; they’re very stable.
Groups 3-12: Transition Metals
This is the largest group on the Periodic Table. These elements cover a wide range of metals, but a lot of them are very profitable; plus they have high boiling and melting points. Because of this, they can form alloys with ease; they are strong and hard; and are extremely effective at conducting heat and electricity.
At the singles party, they would be the bankers and models; people with a lot of money, that love throwing it around. Basically you don’t hook up with them, they hook up with you. There’s a big difference.
Groups 13-16 are mixed with three different groups. This is because of their very similar properties and the number of electrons shells.
Groups 13-16: Basic/Poor Metals
The eleven elements that make up this group, are much like the Transition Metals, but a little different. They have a lower melting and boiling point; they are soft; but they are still great conductors of electricity and heat.
At the singles party, these elements would be out to have a fun night, but they would not be flashing their money about, like the Transition Metals; they just don’t need to.
Groups 13-16: Metalloids
This group of elements has seven members and they all have something in common: they have metallic and non-metallic properties. Even though they look like metals, they are brittle, but they make excellent semiconductors.
At the singles party, the Metalloids would be the group of people that arrive late to the party, then have to try and figure out where should they go and stand; so they stay at the bar, hoping to attract someone’s attention.
Groups 14-16: Non Metals
The elements in this group are Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen, Phosphorus, Sulfur and Selenium. Just like the Metalloids, they are brittle when solid, but they are very poor conductors of heat and electricity. Instead, they can be a gas, a solid or a liquid at room temperature; and they can be found mostly in the Earth’s crust, the human body and the atmosphere.
At the singles party, these elements would have been through some messy break up, so they have very low expectations about the night; they’re just glad to be out of the house and talking to people.
Group 17: Halogens
The halogens are amazing at combining with metals to form different salts. As you move down this group, the melting and boiling points of the elements increases. This means having Fluorine as a gas at the top of the group, with Iodine being a solid at the bottom of the group.
At the singles party, these elements will talk to you very easily; but if you upset or offend them, they will break or hurt you. Talk to these elements with caution, because what they really want, is to hook up with Hydrogen or one of Hydrogen’s friends.
Groups 18: Noble gases
These group of elements are made of different gases that are unreactive. They are colourless, odourless and non-flammable, which means they are great at thermal conductivity. At the singles party, even though they are lots of people want to talk to them, they will say no to everybody. They have very high standards and nobody would be good enough for them. They are there to be seen, nothing more.
There are two small sub-groups that I need to talk about. They are called the Lanthanoids and Actinoids; and they are located in f-block, underneath the Transition Metals. The funny thing is that they actually fit into the Periodic Table in the 6th and 7th periods of the 3rd group. They were moved to allow for more space on the Periodic Table.9
Lanthanoids and Actinoids
The Lanthanoids are mostly non-radioactive, while the Actinoids are mostly radioactive. Together they also have magnetic, synthetic and other forms of elements. At the singles party, these elements would be ultra mysterious. They would ask a lot of questions about you, but never give any answers about themselves. We need to know more about them, before we could trust them.
To end, I want to draw attention to what some of the elements have been named after. There are 118 elements on the Periodic Table and 19 of them are named after 20 people; with 15 elements being named after scientists.
41 elements are named after or named for locations: 32 elements are named after places on Earth, while 9 elements are named after objects in our solar system.
There are even 4 elements named after a small town called Ytterby, Sweden; where 8 elements were discovered. Hell, there’s even an element named after the Norse God of Thunder aka the superhero with the hammer, Thor.
However I want to discuss a very special element. In 1955, a team of scientists managed to create 17 atoms of an unknown element. They realised that this unknown element filled the spot on the Periodic Table, being the element with an atomic number of 101.
Because of this, the unknown element was given the name Mendelevium and the chemical symbol of Md, after the Father of the Periodic Table, Dmitri Mendeleev. If you ever need a definition or example of badssery, that is it.
Thank you so much for reading and see you in a fortnight!
1Pun intended.
2Atomic weight relates to the weighted average of the naturally occurring isotopes.
3Atomic valence relates to the number of electrons an atom can give, take or share.
4Mendeleev has also been spelt Mendeleyev or Mendeleef.
5Atomic mass relates to the total number of protons and neutrons in the atom’s nucleus.
6I needed to point out that humans have created these elements and not dolphins or mice. 42 geek points to you if you get the reference.
7We generally don’t use Fahrenheit in New Zealand, so every time I see it, my brain just wants to shut down.
8Though to be fair, I am not talking about isotopes.
9Chemist Glenn Seaborg was responsible for adding the Actinoids strip at the bottom of the Periodic Table. The element Seaborgium (Sg) was named after him.
SOME GEEK TOLD ME 
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