I want to talk about some Olympic sports. Why? The 2020 Summer Olympics have been entertaining and inspiring us over the last few weeks, as well as making us feel very inferior for our own sporting achievements or lack of. However the sports that I want to discuss are not being contested at the Summer Olympics, but they used to be and maybe some day in the future, they can be again.
Over the years, there have been a few sports that have been discontinued at the Olympic Games for various reasons. Some make sense like cannon shooting, at the 1900 Olympic Games; while bowling first played at the 1988 Olympic Games, was supposed to be played at the 2020 Olympics Games, but was omitted, because the sport was not apparently appealing enough to youth, according to the Olympic Committee. Haters have to hate, I suppose.
There are three discontinued sports from the Olympic Games, that if they are reintroduced again, the public will fall in love with them; or at least I would be very happy to watch them.
1.) Tug of War
Tug of War was last contested at the 1920 Summer Olympic Games in Antwerp, Belgium; with Great Britain winning the gold medal. At the time, this sport was only offered to male athletes. Why exactly it was discontinued is a mystery to me, but why would you?!
I would love to see Tug of War make a triumphant return to the Olympic Games, because of the seer carnage it would bring. There could be events for different genders and mixed; individual and team; but also having athletes compete in their weight grade. I mean, as entertaining as it sounds, having a 120kg monster versus a 65kg bean pole, would be a waste of time. Funny, but still a waste of time.
It could almost be promoted as the closet event to professional wrestling in the Olympics, because athletes could wear outrageous costumes in the colours of their nation, but also having stage names.
“Introducing the competitors pulling from the north end, hailing out of Ireland, it’s Sean “The Crusher” O’Connor and Ciara “The Assassin” Fitzpatrick!”1
Also imagine if the neutral zone was a moat. Imagine it, live across the world, watching people getting dragged into mud! The ratings would be astronomical! I realise that Tug of War is contested at the World Games, but bringing it back to the Olympic Games would be a form of glorious chaos on the world stage.
2.) Lacrosse
Lacrosse is an interesting sport, as well as being quite awesome. It was last competed at the 1908 Summer Olympic Games in London, England; though demonstration matches were played at the 1928, 1932 and 1948 games. Did you know Canada remains the Olympic champions after 113 years? To be fair though, lacrosse is also played at the World Games.
For those that do not know what lacrosse is or what how it is played, it’s quite simple, but crazy at the same time. To me, it’s like if Hurling and Field Hockey had a baby. Basically players run around with a stick, that has a net at the end of it. From there players can pass a ball to each other, by throwing it; a player can then catch the ball in the net.
Players work together to throw the ball into the goal; though the other team is doing the exactly the same thing. Oh, I forgot; the players also need to wear safety equipment for obvious reasons: sticks, flying balls, anger…not a safe combination. Just like martinis and driving or siblings play fighting; someone will always get hurt.
The main reason that I would love for lacrosse to be brought back to the Olympic Games is about speed. Lacrosse is an extremely fast sport, which could be morphed into a drinking game. Because of how the game is designed and played, points can be be scored quite quickly.
Sitting at home or at a bar with your friends, you could watch the game, while supporting one team or other. This could be done with the rule of only drinking at certain events happening in the game, such as : scoring, body checking or stick checking. If there is the extra man offense, the person supporting the penalised team, would need to scull their drink. Even if you lose the game, you would still win.
It could became one of the most popular sports to be supported at the Olympic Games, especially with university students. Seriously, having lacrosse back at the Olympic Games would be a winning move, not just for players and supporters, but also for retail liquor stores and bars. Everybody wins!
3.) Croquet
Before you dismiss this, hear me out. Croquet has only been played once, which was at the 1900 Summer Olympic Games in Paris, France and all 10 players were from France! This means that France has won all of the Olympic Games medals in croquet.
If you are unaware of croquet then, firstly shame on you. Secondly, croquet seems quite dull, but there is huge potential for it. Croquet involves using a mallet, to hit different balls through hoops that are anchored into the grass.
Like I said, croquet might sound dull, but imagine if a 75 year old woman could win a gold medal or a 80 year old man? Croquet is a sport where the age of the player becomes irrelevant. You could honestly have a lot more elderly players at the Olympic Games because of this, so imagine them staying at the Olympic Village?
The parties, sex, alcohol and over 65 year old croquet players. There could be a scandal after a 70 year old croquet player gets sent home, because of his misadventures at the village. It would be epic and hilarious!
If anybody from the Olympic Committee reads this blog, please consider the benefits these three sports could bring to the Olympic Games, because all three of them need to brought back, as soon as possible.
Thanks for reading and see you next week!
1 My apologies if Sean O’Connor and Ciara Fitzpatrick are in fact, the names of real people. They were the most Irish sounding names I could think of.
SOME GEEK TOLD ME 
You must be logged in to post a comment.