Growing up as a member of the Commonwealth, the 5th of November has always been synonymous with the Gunpowder Plot, in the form of Guy Fawkes Night, Bonfire Night or Fireworks Night. 419 years later, people still remember it.
If you haven’t already guessed or been living in Worzel Gummidge’s hat, this 5th of November is also unique, because it’s the date for the United States presidential election. At the time of writing this blog post, the polls are tighter than Uncle Scrooge’s wallet, between Kamala Harris and everybody’s favourite bankrupting casino owner, Donald Trump.
Over the years, you don’t have to do a lot to incur Trump’s wrath, by getting under that beautiful orange skin or living rent-free in his head. And nobody does it better than the Lincoln Project. For the uninitiated, the Lincoln Project was founded by former Republican Party members and moderate conservatives, who publish and release anti-Trump content. And they are very good at what they do. They oppose Trump and his policies, along with his Dick Tracy villain doppelgangers.
I can’t remember the first Lincoln Project video I saw, but I was stunned and confused to learn that it was Republicans and conservatives bashing Trump. Even though I’m a New Zealander and not a US citizen, I thought this was weird; however, I thought it was so brilliant that I subscribed to them.
Whether it’s because their origins are based on right-leaning politics or they have some extremely driven people, they seem to have an uncanny way of pissing Trump off. Whenever I hear the phrase, “If you can’t say anything nice, say something clever and devastating,” I will always think of the Lincoln Project.
The ‘Lincoln Project’ is made up of Republicans dissatisfied with the direction the party has taken under Trump. Credit: Reproduction/Facebook.
Their videos fall into several groups. Some videos have focused on promoting Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, by encouraging people to vote for them. Other videos highlight American values and how Trumpism and Republicans are against it. There are also videos highlighting the shenanigans of some Republicans, comparing Harris to Trump, and talking about the January 6th riots.
The irony is that these videos are created by conservatives. Additionally, the ones directed at Trump can be described as “beautiful nightmares.” They are devastating, accurate, intelligent, funny, and sharp. I often show them to my wife while doing my geek dance, saying, “Oh, you need to see this; it’s amazing!”
In my opinion, all of the anti-Trump panels, videos, columns, podcasts, and articles combined, pale in comparison to the humiliation that the Lincoln Project has inflicted on everybody’s favourite 78-year-old convicted felony.
Below, I have collected several of my favourite recent Lincoln Project videos that directly attack Trump and his policies. And damn, these are burns! Some honourable mentions are the recent Things Fascists Say videos, highlighting Trump’s love for dictators and strong male leaders. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so serious.
Without any more delay, let’s look at some of my favourite Lincoln Project videos that belittle Trump’s age, cognitive ability, intelligence, morals, and just about anything. Please enjoy!
The next two videos are not humorous, but they are very effective at highlighting how dangerous Trump is. As for that last one, well, it’s my favourite.
What’s your favourite Lincoln Project video? As always, please let me know. If you haven’t already subscribed to the Lincoln Project, I suggest you do so. They are exceptional at what they do.
That’s another rant, for another week. Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. And just like last week, please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, and if you’re a US citizen, please vote for Kamala Harris. I want to witness Trump whine about losing and how difficult his life is being a 78-year-old white male billionaire. Please!
Because of various reasons, I got distracted last month, which to be fair, was the constant statement throughout my school reports. This distraction meant we didn’t have a We Didn’t Start the Fire blog post, which will soon be fixed. I’m not sure if Billy Joel would approve.
Just like an ejection seat in a helicopter, my We Didn’t Start the Fire references are a bad idea. Nevertheless, it’s back for another month. Previous chapters in this ongoing mess include:
If you’ve been keeping score, we looked at 1953 last time, so we’re moving on to 1954. So, strap yourself in because it’s going to be a bumpy ride! And away we go!
Credit: Jay Blotcher/Twitter
1954
Roy Cohn:
We’re going to kick 1954’s references off with Roy Cohn, who was an American prosecutor and lawyer. To me, Cohn is famous for a few odd things. Hopefully you remember Joseph McCarthy, the communist-hunting senator from the 1950 list. It may not come as a surprise, but not only did Cohn and McCarthy know each other, Cohn worked as chief counsel for McCarthy in the 1954 Army–McCarthy hearings.
The hearings were a political embarrassment for McCarthy and his anti-communism policies, so after the hearings had finished, Cohn fell on his sword and resigned from McCarthy’s staff. This caused a minor scandal across the country, which led Cohn to work as an attorney in New York City.
Do you remember the Rosenbergs (Julius and Ethel Rosenberg) from the 1951 list? Take three guesses to name one of the prosecutors involved in their case. That’s right, it was Cohn.
For a modern context, I previously referred to Joseph McCarthy as everybody’s favourite convicted felony and ex-president, Donald Trump. So, if Trump is McCarthy, then Cohn would be Michael Cohen; if you follow my logic.
Roy Cohn speaking at the Army-McCarthy hearings in 1954. Credit: Everett/Shutterstock.com
Juan Perón:
Juan Perón served as President of Argentina from 1946 to 1955 and then again from 1973 to 1974. He is a significant figure in the history of Argentina and Latin America, with a complex legacy. His policies, known as Peronism, evolved, and he eventually became a dictator. Additionally, he provided refuge to wanted Nazi war criminals, contributing to the ongoing crisis.
During his second term in 1954, Perón was becoming less popular, while Argentina faced economic problems like high inflation, huge debt, and a decrease in productivity. Perón was also having trouble with the Roman Catholic Church. He pushed for the decriminalisation of divorce and prostitution; deported two Catholic priests; promoted a constitutional amendment to separate State and Church; publicly accused bishops and priests of sabotaging his government; and suppressed religious education in schools. He was a busy guy.
Perón was finally deposed in a coup d’état in 1955, mainly because of the bombing of Plaza de Mayo by Argentine military aircraft, which killed over 300 people.
A modern equivalent is somewhat difficult because sadly, we have many choices to select from, like Alexander Lukashenko, Bashar al-Assad, Kim Jong Un, Slobodan Milošević, Vladimir Putin, Augusto Pinochet, Pol Pot, Francisco Franco, Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo, Muammar Gaddafi, or Idi Amin. Take your pick, because they all suck.
President Juan Perón. Credit: Unknown
Arturo Toscanini:
The beloved Arturo Toscanini was one of the most famous conductors on the planet. After years of working around the world, Toscanini moved to the United States. He worked with several symphony orchestras before securing a position with the NBC Symphony Orchestra, which was a radio orchestra.
This job lasted from 1937 to 1954 when Toscanini stepped down from the position of conductor and retired at 87 years old. That was his last live public performance.
For a modern conductor, I don’t want to start a fight about which conductor is the best in the world. This is outside of my lane, but some examples could be Sir Simon Rattle, Marin Alsop, Gustavo Dudamel, Seiji Ozawa, Nathalie Stutzmann, Sir Neville Marriner, Daniel Barenboim, Sir Antonio Pappano, Susanna Mälkki, Carlos Kleiber, or maybe Bernard Haitink.
The conductor Arturo Toscanini. Photograph by Bettmann / Getty
Dacron:
This is the first non-human entry on the list, and it is very useful. In 1954, Polyethylene terephthalate, also known as PET, PETE, and Dacron, was released to the public. Dacron is an artificial fibre that changed the way people live and interact with the world.
It’s recyclable plastic number 1 and was mainly trademarked as a synthetic polyester fabric, but it expanded to all facets of modern life. The demand for this product is insane. The annual production of PET was 56 million tons in 2016, with 30% being made up of bottle production worldwide.
I would give you a modern version, but Dacron is still being used today.
We are continuing with another non-human entry because this one is a city or rather a battle. Dien Bien Phu, or Điện Biên Phủ, is a city located in Vietnam. Back in 1946, Vietnam was known as French Indochina, and it was supported and controlled by…wait for it…the French.
This resulted in the First Indochina War, with the French fighting the Viet Minh, aka the Democratic Republic of Vietnam, the newly minted nation.
In 1954, the French Far East Expeditionary Corps fought the Viet Minh, at the French encampment in Dien Bien Phu, between 13th March and 7th May. History remembers this as the Battle of Dien Bien Phu. The size of the armies, along with the casualties, vary to different records, but whatever the case, the Viet Minh claimed victory.
This was a humiliating defeat for the French, as it was the decisive battle of the war. The legacy of this battle resulted in the creation of North Vietnam (the Democratic Republic of Vietnam) and South Vietnam (the Republic of Vietnam). Eventually, the Second Indochina War started a year later, though it’s known by another name; The Vietnam War.
An image of Viet Minh troops planting their flag over the captured French headquarters at Dien Bien Phu, 1954. Credit: Vietnam People’s Army Museum System.
Rock Around the Clock:
One, two, three o’clock, four o’clock, rock Five, six, seven o’clock, eight o’clock, rock Nine, ten, eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, rock We’re gonna rock around the clock tonight
Dubbed as the first rock-and-roll song, Rock Around the Clock was a smash hit. Released in May 1954 by Bill Haley & His Comets, Rock Around the Clock only lasted 2:08 minutes, but it changed music history.
The single sold 25 million copies and became the unofficial anthem for the growing rebellious youth around the world, and brought this developing sound of music to mainstream audiences.
It defined a generation, much like Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean”, Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, and Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face.”
So for 1954, we covered a prosecutor, a dictator, a conductor, an artificial fabric, a battle, and a song. This was a strange and mixed list, but we will have seven entries for 1955, so I need to start planning for next month. I mean, maybe the writing will get better.
And that’s it for another week. Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, and if you’re a US citizen, please vote to send a certain 78-year-old into retirement. Take care and I’ll see you next week.
As you can tell, we have just finished and survived another round of school holidays. Among kiwi taming and hobbit searching, public school children in New Zealand operate on four terms during the year, with two weeks of holidays separating the terms. Of course, Term 4 ends with a six-week holiday covering the end of the year and Christmas, but we are way ahead of ourselves!
Term 4 started today, with UMC1 and UMC2 having mixed feelings about it; I sense much conflict in them. They wanted to see their friends again, but you can’t beat the school holidays! Well, from their perspective, you can’t.
So, how did the school holidays go? I have to be honest with you, we went into the holidays dealing with Indy’s death, so my wife and I put in extra effort to make these holidays fun for UMC1 and UMC2, but manageable for us. And when I say manageable, I mean our ability to survive the threats without starting divorce proceedings.
Without any more time-wasting, let’s discuss the threats we faced and see if you can relate to any of them.
This threat is an old one, but it’s still serious. UMC1 and UMC2 love working and playing around the house with Lego, but during the school holidays, this obsession gets taken to the next level.
Every room in the house, except for the bathroom, was invaded by their Lego, whether they were figures, vehicles, or everything in between. They even covered the window frame of the back door with newly designed Lego droids, so every time you opened or closed the door, droids and tears would fall.
The dining room table was the scene of multiple Lego construction sites throughout the holidays. These included on the table, under the table, on three different chairs, and the foot railings. Apparently, Lex Luthor, Boba Fett and Foot Clan Ninjas like to loiter under the table.
It’s also a hell of a thing to consistently find Lego that does not belong to you on your bed, then to be lectured about moving things that don’t belong to you.
As for the base plates, the boys created several buildings that stayed in the lounge. This meant every morning, the base plates were taken off the table and placed back onto the floor, then moved to the table again at night time, so just it could start again the next day.
Using the vacuum cleaner was a nightmare because every scrap of carpet needed to be checked for Lego, which proved to be problematic. I was also delightfully reminded of the dangers of walking shoeless in the house during the school holidays, because of the amount of Lego impaling my feet.
Pyjama Days
I don’t mind pyjamas at all, but during the school holidays, my children practically live in them. There have been numerous battles over the idea of UMC1 and UMC2 wanting to go out in their pyjamas, despite logical and reasonable arguments against it, assuming they even want to leave the house in the first place.
Their philosophy was that since it was their school holidays, they should be able to choose their clothes, meaning they were choosing to remain in their pyjamas for the whole day.
I can’t tell you the number of times I called my wife to see how things were going, just to be told that the boys were still in their pyjamas; but they were going to get changed because they were all going out. Fast forward to me seeing them in the car when they had picked me up, or when I got home, they were still in their pyjamas. I would ask about it, but my wife would just shake her head and admit defeat.
It was also funny and tragic explaining to them, that yes, it’s time to have a shower, so they needed to remove the pyjamas so they could be washed.
And yes, they could choose another pair to wear afterwards. I have no idea how many times I’ve said pyjamas over the last two weeks, but it would have been more times than The Brain has tried to take over the world.
Star Wars: Rebels
This one was not a threat, but it was weird. We had previously mentioned to UMC1 and UMC2 that they could watch Star Wars: Rebels, during the school holiday this year. Everybody had forgotten in the past holidays, so the boys were not going to miss out this time.
This involved the boys asking for Star Wars: Rebels, before and after breakfast, before and after lunch, before and after dinner, and every other time in between. Because of this, it gave my wife and me some leverage for the boys to do things, like removing pyjamas, leaving the house, buying the groceries, having showers, or tidying up, which were the prices the boys had to pay to watch the show.
A lot of negotiations occurred during the last two weeks, with Star Wars: Rebels acting as the dangling carrot to the boys. And when they did get to see it, they were fixated on it, to the point they were quiet and absorbing it all.
After watching a collection of episodes, UMC2 would also retell the plot to you, completely forgetting that you were sitting next to him throughout the show. Their role-playing started to centre on Star Wars: Rebels, which resulted in many over-enthusiastic lightsabre battles.
I have rediscovered my appreciation for sleep-ins over being woken up at 5.30 am, because UMC1 and UMC2 are recreating lightsabre battles in our bedroom. Not cool guys, not cool.
We made it through the two weeks of school holidays thanks to various forms of caffeine. Now we have about 10 weeks to recover before the six weeks of the Christmas/Summer holidays begin. During this time, I have two weeks off, so I will need plenty of energy drinks to keep up with UMC1 and UMC2. Good times!
If you have school-aged children, how to manage and survive the school holidays? As always, please let me know. Ok, that’s another rant for another week.
Thanks for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, watch The Wild Robot, and I’ll see you next week when we travel back to 1954. Cool bananas!
I want to talk about jobs today, but before I get into my rant, how is everybody doing? I think there’s a polite answer, and there’s an honest answer, with the truth lying somewhere in the middle. Whatever the case, I hope you’re doing well.
Because you’re attentive readers, you would have noticed the title of today’s blog post. Jobs can be important for multiple reasons. They can provide you with money, so you can continue living and existing by paying for the rent and mortgage or buying food, clothes, Salt and Vinegar chips and anything else you have set your heart on.
Jobs can also give you stability, purpose, direction, status, and experience, and for many people, a job is a lifeline. It could be the only thing keeping someone’s head above the water because jobs and life are tough.
The quantity of money you receive is subjective because the same wage or salary could be a godsend to one person, while it could be a bane for someone else.
It’s also true about the quality of the job, which is subjective. A particular job could be a nightmare for one person, while being a dream job for someone else. Of course, some people are just trying to get by, and a job is simply a job.
I suppose there is the trap that you are defined as your job, and that’s how you are known to the world. You’re a nurse, musician, painter, road worker, or a builder, so that’s what your identity is versus whether you’re a good or happy person.
I believe if you’re lucky enough, you can find a job that pays well and makes you happy. But there is a tiny flaw in that plan; you need to be qualified, or at the very least, actually good at it. This painfully long introduction finally brings us to the point of this rant.
This is the first volume of a series detailing three jobs each time that I believe, I would suck at. Whether I describe myself at being terrible, horrible, ill-suited, unqualified, or just wrong, these jobs would not be for me. I would suck at them.
I’m going to add a disclaimer here before I continue. Any job that makes this list does not by definition, make it terrible. Your job may appear here today or at a later date, and that’s fine for you because I’m not saying your job sucks. I’m just saying your job would suck for me because of several reasons.
This job is one of the easiest to explain why I would be terrible at. I’m awful at making small talk, let alone having and creating a salesperson personality. I’m such a bad salesperson, I wouldn’t be able to sell lifejackets to the Navy. I would probably end up buying merchandise from them instead.
I once had a job as a street talker, and it lasted one day. Even though it was for a charity, I couldn’t approach people on the street and convince them to sign up for monthly donations. I was awful.
So the concept of me trying to convince people to buy a big-ticket item like a house seems ludicrous, because as I would be showing off the house’s advantages, I would also be discussing the disadvantages.
I wouldn’t be able to lie because it would weigh on me too much. Also, I would be too honest and suggest the house would not suit the potential owners, coupled with the fact that I’m sure I would not be meeting my monthly quota of sales. I would give my sales manager daily headaches.
These factors would completely condemn me in this profession. I can’t stress enough on how greatly I would suck as a real estate agent. I would be terrible.
Receptionist
Receptionists always seem to have a friendly, positive and calm demeanour, which is quite impressive. Put me in that job, and you would get the opposite. Scheduling appointments, answering the phone, dealing with angry customers, and all with a smile on my face? Forget it.
After dealing with the phone ringing every three minutes, I can only imagine I would be answering the calls by saying, “Please stop ringing! I’m trying to eat my lunch!” It would also mean my small talk would include discussing a new movie trailer, asking what that smell was, and laughing at Trump’s new criminal charges.
I would transfer calls to the wrong department, schedule a booking on the wrong day, accidentally cut the call off, and also sound like I would be much happier if I was lying on my couch reading, instead of dealing with random people.
I have so much trouble scheduling appointments for my family, talking to my wife on the phone, and dealing with my hungry and angry children because the last chocolate biscuit has been eaten, that I couldn’t possibly do it for a living.
And even if I could handle those things, I would have to play host to people entering the workplace. I’d have to offer tea, coffee, and whatnot. I’m a terrible host. I would eat all of the biscuits and stuff the orders up. Besides, who in their right mind would want me?
Even if the job was at a book shop, that sold pizza and Salt and Vinegar chips, I would glare at everybody that walked in, because they would be giving me more work to do. I wouldn’t be able to hide the disappointment on my face.
I would suck at being a receptionist.
My wife’s job
The grass is always greener on the other side, isn’t it? Take my wife and I, because we often talk about swapping roles. She would like to get back to paid employment by working at a full-time job and being the primary breadwinner.
As for me, I think it would be great to leave the paid 40-50 hour work week behind and concentrate on the house and family.
However, the reality of it is far scarier. For one thing, I enjoy cooking and making food for my family, whether breakfast, lunch or dinner. The sad part is that my recipe skills are limited since I can only make a few meals in several different ways.
If I had my wife’s job, I would need to improve my cooking skills to accommodate my family’s dietary restrictions and allergies. I would also have to introduce new foods to UMC1 and UMC2. I wouldn’t be able to rely on weekend cooking anymore; I would have to cook like Julia Child to satisfy and nourish my family.
I’m a chicken/fish and three vegetables man, so I would have to learn how to make new meals that everybody could eat. All of my time would be taken up with thinking, “Can I add tomato sauce to this?” I doubt anybody would want the same dinner five times each week.
It would also mean that I would have to design and build, all of my children’s wild and creative ideas, using limited resources and money. This would involve being able to papier-mâché, but also painting, cutting, drawing, sewing, designing and building various things.
I would be left floundering to understand and follow different recipes, as well as trying to figure out how to make a papier-mâché helmet or functioning catapults. If my wife and I had both started projects at the same time, based on ideas from UMC1 and UMC2, she would have finished three weeks before me, because I would still be in the planning stage.
If my wife’s amazing creative skills were compared to the Joker, mine would be Condiment King. If you haven’t heard of Condiment King, I rest my case.
Are there any jobs you feel you would be terrible at? As always, please let me know. Alright, that’s another pointless rant for another week, but before I go, I’d like to mention that today marks the first anniversary of the Israel–Hamas war.
This conflict and the media seem to have created a narrative where if you support Israel, that means you’re anti-Islamic. If you support Palestine, that means you’re anti-Semitic. People are calling for the destruction of Israel, while others want Palestine’s annihilation.
You can debate the moral, political, and ethical reasons behind this war, but Hamas were wrong to attack Israel on 7th October 2024. However, Israel’s response was also wrong. For me, there needs to be more people calling for a cease-fire, because over 16,000 children have been killed.
Martyrs are becoming made on both sides through this endless cycle of violence, which just fuels it for the next time. Nobody can honestly say to me, that to have security for either side, over 16,000 children needed to die because I would call you a liar.
Here’s hoping on 7th October 2025, we will be talking about peace accords, the rebuilding of Palestine and the real options working towards the Two State solution, and not another year of dead hostages and children.
Thanks for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, eat some bananas, and I’ll see you next week.
When reading this particular blog post, imagine if you could hear a soundtrack. So the obvious question is what would it be? John Williams’ Imperial March, of course! Why? What better example of badarsery to accompany the return of the tour nobody asked for. Get ready ladies and gentlemen, because the Solar System’s worst tour of the Solar System is back!
To allow yourself time to catch up on some literary madness, the previous entries on the tour have included:
Since January 2023, I have roughly created one rant per month about the crazy, but beautiful things in our Solar System. Because this is a slow and complicated path, we have arrived at another moon. And since our last tour stop was Uranus, it’s not a leap of reasoning to discover that today’s rant is about Uranus’ largest moon, Titania.
This high-resolution colour composite of Titania was made from Voyager 2 images taken Jan. 24, 1986, as the spacecraft neared its closest approach to Uranus. Credit: NASA/JPL
If I say the name, Titania, our society’s current understanding of the name would be, “It’s that lady from She-Hulk, right?” Yes, Titania is a Marvel character; a particularly misguided super strong woman, but for today’s rant, this is not the Titania we’re looking for.
Titania is the largest of Uranus’ 28 moons, the eighth-largest moon in the Solar System, and the 20th-largest object in the Solar System overall. Titania has a diameter of 1,578 km and a surface area similar to that of Australia. It was discovered by William Herschel on 11th January, 1787. As a reminder, Herschel was the astronomer who discovered Uranus in 1781.
Titania and her moon siblings are special because their names are not based on Roman or Greek mythology like other moons. Oh no, these moons are named after characters from the works of William Shakespeare and Alexander Pope. Titania is named after Titania, Queen of the Fairies, in Shakespeare’s rom-com, A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
A fun fact is that on the same day Titania was discovered, Herschel also discovered another of Uranus’ moons, Oberon. And if you know your Shakespeare, you’ll know that Oberon was the Fairy King and husband to Titania in A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Titania orbits Uranus at about 436,000 km, which puts it roughly over 2 billion km from the Sun. At this distance, it takes the Sun’s light about 2 hours and 45 minutes to reach Titania. It puts things into perspective, so you may stop complaining about your daily commute.
The rotation and orbit of Titania are also quirky. Titania’s orbit of Uranus makes it the second farthest moon from Uranus, among the five major moons, after our old mate, Oberon. The orbital period is about 8.7 days and matches its rotational speed.
Titania is part of a special group of moons that are tidally locked, meaning only one side always faces the planet, similar to our Moon. Additionally, Uranus’ magnetosphere is so large that it extends to where Titania orbits.
Since a “sphere” has been name-dropped into the conversation and can drive Flat Earthers into a frenzy, let’s talk about Titania’s atmosphere and surface, because you know, why not?!
There are three recognised classes of geological features on Titania such as craters, canyons and scarps. Titania has a notable system of fault valleys, with one of them nearly 1,609 km long, named Messina Chasm. These valleys have broken the crust in two directions, which shows the tectonic extension of the crust. Titania also appears to be made from equal parts water ice and rocky materials.
Infrared measurements have also revealed Titania has water ice on the surface, along with traces of carbon dioxide. Like some other similar moons, Titania is believed to have an interior or sub-surface ocean. The ocean could be up to 50 km thick, but more research needs to be done to confirm this.
Titania does have an atmosphere, but it’s quite weak and faint, and mainly consists of carbon dioxide.
Since Titania is so far away, a lot of the first information we have about it was revealed by the Voyager 2 space probe and its flyby in 1986. The images covered about 40% of Titania’s surface, which for 1986, was an amazing feat of engineering. Only 24% of the images were within the precision required for geological mapping.
Voyager 2’s photos helped to usher in a new wave of knowledge and understanding about the moon. Since then, no other space probe has visited Titania, but there are plans to address this problem in the future.
Some other random facts about Titania include:
Titania has an almost circular orbit.
The average orbital speed of Titania is 3.64 km/second.
Due to Titania’s tilt, each of Titania’s poles experiences 42 years in the sun and 42 years in the dark.
It’s unclear whether geological processes are still occurring on Titania or not.
The Messina Chasm is named after a location in William Shakespeare’s play, “Much Ado About Nothing.”
If Titania does have a sub-surface ocean, the question will then turn to whether life exists there or not. But that is another question for another day. And with that, our Tour of the Solar System must take a well-deserved rest.
What is your favourite fact about Titania? As always, please let me know. I wonder if The New Zealand Sour Cream and Chives Preservation Society will read this blog post?
Thank you for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. I’m also on Twitter and Mastodon, where I write about truly random things.
Before I sign off, I have a favour to ask. If you have a dog, please give them a pat and a hug from me. Dogs are amazing creatures, and we are lucky to have them in our lives. Take care of yourselves, and I’ll catch you next week.
Well, here it is, my 200th blog post! This is not exactly what I had in mind to celebrate the milestone, but you play the cards you’re dealt. This post highlights a Pyrrhic victory for me. Firstly, let’s discuss the 200th blog post of New Zealand’s 5th least favourite website!
I started this project of hubris and vanity in December 2020, writing one blog post each fortnight. Once I found my uncoordinated groove of writing awful posts, I switched to one per week, which created a different level of anxiety.
Creating pressure on yourself to write one blog post per week about something people may find interesting and not getting paid for it? Quick, sign me up, that sounds amazing!
I’ve discussed many different topics and subjects on Some Geek Told Me. These rants have covered the Ukraine-Russia crisis, flags, comics, movies, books, children, 10 Downing St shenanigans, history, music, ANZAC Day, socks, the Rugby World Cup, the Solar System, and so many more absurd things.
Credit: Westside News
There have been times when I’ve been extremely enthusiastic about a topic, while other weeks, I’ve had to stop myself from quitting this whole enterprise.
Added into the equation that I run daily Mastodon and Twitter accounts about random stuff, makes me sometimes feel I need my head examined for all the time and effort put into Some Geek Told Me!
Some weeks I’m very organised, but other weeks, it’s utter chaos. This whole writing experience has been fascinating because my writing probably hasn’t improved, but by doing this; and I’ve said this before, it stops me from going to bars or trading comic books under dark bridges.
I thought I would have failed by the 5th post, so reaching my 200th post is something I didn’t know was possible. Though, to be fair, what defines a successful blog? It is the number of subscribers? It is the number of blogs published each week? It is the amount of money earned for each post?
I have no idea, but I’m not tired of this yet. If people keep reading and subscribing to my stuff, I’ll keep writing my rants. However, none of this could be possible without the support of my family, which includes my wife, UMC1, UMC2 and our dog.
This brings me to the second part of the blog. With Some Geek Told Me, I not only discuss national and international events and topics that interest me, but I also share what’s happening to me in general. Granted, I don’t discuss everything that matters, but today is something I can’t avoid.
As many long-time readers and subscribers to this account know, I have a dog named Indy. He’s a bichon frise cross, and Indy has been the subject of a few posts, namely his eating style.
I’m sorry to say that our beautiful boy died on Friday. We said goodbye to him, and the concept that he’s no longer here with us is heartbreaking. He was my favourite non-human, and he was a fucking good dog. Indy was a part of my life for 12 years, and I’m so grateful for that time.
Indy is displaying his famous muddy paws
Indy waking up and looking handsome
I’m not going to spend a lot of time talking about him, mainly for the fact that I don’t know how to write any more about him without crying. I promise I’ll write about him at a later date, just not today.
I’m going to miss and love our beautiful boy forever. To me, Indy was a tōtara.
Sorry, I’ve started crying again, so I need to stop. Anyway, like I said, this blog post is a Pyrrhic victory; Yah, I’ve written 200 blog posts, but I lost my dog.
And with that, I need to go to bed. Thank you for continuing to read, follow, and subscribe to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, be kind to yourself, and I’ll see you next week for the return of the Tour of the Solar System.
I realise that the world is not a perfect place. Wherever you look, there seems to be injustice, war, corruption, and lies. Yet, hope remains in the form of people going about their daily lives and doing the things that they love.
This can take many different forms, as people can help strangers in unexpected and wonderful ways. I respect numerous jobs and careers, as well as particular individuals around my town, country, and the world.
But life can deliver you a googly, and you’re left standing in shock and confusion on the cricket pitch, trying to understand how you missed the ball because it’s taken the middle stump.
Today is one of those days. Depending on the circles you travel in, you may have heard the sad news that Tūheitia Pōtatau Te Wherowhero VII, James Earl Jones, and John Cassaday died within days of each other. I’m not a professional writer, which is painfully obvious, but I would still like to acknowledge these three icons because they have helped me.
For those of you who didn’t recognise his name, Tūheitia Pōtatau Te Wherowhero VII was known as Kīngi Tūheitia, the seventh Māori monarch. He was coronated on 21st August 2006, on the last day of the tangi (funeral) of his mother, the Māori Queen, Te Arikinui Dame Te Atairangikaahu.
He reigned until his death on 30th August 2024, aged 69. His successor is his daughter, the eighth monarch and second-only Māori queen, Ngā Wai Hono i te Pō Pōtatau Te Wherowhero VIII.
Tūheitia’s mother was the monarch when I was born, so she was the only Māori monarch I had known. When she died, it was a major event in the country’s history. I remember watching the tangi and Tūheitia’s coronation, and I found it quite profound.
I respected and liked Tūheitia for many different reasons, which included and were not limited to reintroducing the need and concept of the Māori King movement to a new generation; promoting Māori culture around Aotearoa and the world; advocating for justice and prison reform for all people; representing Māori when meeting heads of state; trying to reduce the number of Māori incarcerated; desiring to unite all Māori; helping to lead the protests at national huis (meetings) against the current government’s recent policies towards Māori; and for being a passionate, positive and kind leader.
He will be missed.
Kīngi Tūheitia Pootatau Te Wherowhero VII. Photo supplied by New Zealand Government, Office of the Governor-General
The great American actor, James Earl Jones died at his home in New York, on 9th September 2024, aged 93. James leaves behind a gargantuan body of work in theatre, television and film. He started acting in 1953 and only retired in 2021. James also belongs to the small group of performers who have won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony award. He was an excellent actor and performer.
He overcame a shutter as a child and went on to have one of the world’s most recognised voices. I suppose it depends on the generation that you’re from, where you would identify his most famous roles, which include, but not all of them, Lt. Lothar Zogg (Dr. Strangelove), Jack Jefferson (The Great White Hope), Douglass Dilman (The Man), Thulsa Doom (Conan the Barbarian), King Jaffe Joffer (Coming to America), Terence Mann (Field of Dreams), Admiral James Greer (The Hunt for Red October), Mufasa (The Lion King), Raymond Murdock (A Family Thing), Junius Johnson (Heat Wave), Gabriel Bird (Gabriel’s Fire), many Shakespeare productions, and quite arguably, his most famous role, being the voice of the Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader.
He will be missed.
James Earl Jones in NYC talking about his movie “Field of Dreams.” Credit: Robert Deutsch/USA Today
And finally, we need to discuss John Cassady. John died on 9th September 2024, in New York City; he was only 52 years old. John was one of these comic book artists, that you only needed 1-2 seconds to identify his work because it was very recognisable and gorgeous; whether he was the interior or cover artist. Damn, he was good.
This is a strange way to describe his art style, but I always thought his art was very “straight or linear.” At least to me, it seemed very different and unique, so I think that’s why I liked his work. Whether it was Astonishing X-Men, Planetary, Captain America, Star Wars,The Lone Ranger, Uncanny Avengers, or so many others, I feel lucky that I managed to witness his amazing work.
The number of awards that John received, reinforces that he was a very creative and talented man.
He will be missed.
Comics artist John Cassaday at a January 16, 2015 signing for Star Wars #1 at Midtown Comics Downtown in Manhattan. Credit: Luigi Novi / Wikimedia Commons
I never had the opportunity to meet these three men, but all of them, in their own way, have brought hope and joy to my life.
The list of people I always thought I would get to meet one day, is slowly becoming smaller and shorter.
I’ve said this before, but I’ll repeat it.
In New Zealand, we have some mighty trees called tōtaras. They are symbolically important because they are massive, straight, light, and resistant to rot. Basically, they’re forest giants. Māori would use them to make large wakas (canoes), but also carve the tōtara to decorate maraes.
These are not my words, but they convey my thoughts and feelings:
KUA HINGA TE TOTARA I TE WAO NUI A TANE
THE TOTARA HAS FALLEN IN THE FOREST OF TANE
THE TOTARA IS A HUGE TREE THAT GROWS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. THE GREATNESS OF THE TOTARA IS A METAPHOR FOR WHEN SOMEONE OF IMPORTANCE PASSES AWAY.
To me, Tūheitia, James and John were tōtaras.
That’s it for this week. Thanks for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, be kind to yourself and I’ll see you next week for my 200th blog post!!
And you’re back in the room. No, not that room, the other room. You know, the cool room, yes, that one. I haven’t talked about the Flat Earth conspiracy batshit crazy theory in a while, though I think the last time was with My questions about the Flat Earth.
Credit: Vector illustration Pro Vector
In saying that, an event is fast approaching us, and for someone like me, I find it truly fascinating. If you’ve heard of the Midnight Sun, then you know it’s not a new STI or a vampire book…oh. Forget about the last one.
During the summer months in the Northern and Southern Hemispheres, a phenomenon known as the Midnight Sun occurs, also known as a Polar Day or the 24-hour Sun. Located in places north of the Arctic Circle and south of the Antarctic Circle, our local star will stay visible in the sky, even at midnight.
The Arctic Circle, roughly 67° north of the Equator, defines the boundary of the Arctic waters and lands. Credit: CIA World Fact Book
In the Arctic Circle, the Sun will appear to travel from left to right, so in the Antarctic Circle, the opposite is true. If you’ve ever seen Christopher Nolan’s Insomnia, you will get the concept of perpetual daylight. I’ve never experienced it, but I want to.
The Midnight Sun phenomenon exists, so it follows that the opposite might exist as well. This is known as the Polar Night, during which the Sun remains below the horizon throughout the day. For reference, think of 30 Days of Night, either the comics or movie, but mainly the comics.
Map of the Antarctica with the Antarctic Circle in blue. Credit: Thesevenseas.
Ok, thanks Scott, for another useless lecture. So what’s this got do to with the price of milk?
Damn, you ask some great questions! The point is this:
A Midnight Sun in the Southern Hemisphere could only exist on a globe, a Flat Earth model does not allow it. Flat Earthers can’t fully explain how the Sun could remain visible in the sky for 24 hours, so they do the only thing they can do; they deny it exists.
If there is a photo of the Midnight Sun, well, it has to be fake, right? If there is footage of it, well, that’s CGI, isn’t it? Many different proofs destroy the Flat Earth Model, but the Midnight Sun is one of the most difficult to deny.
This brings us to the Final Experiment. It sounds more sinister than it is, though to some Flat Earthers, it’s beyond a nightmare for them. To accurately explain what it is, I’ve sourced the information from the website: https://www.the-final-experiment.com
The Final Experiment is an observational showdown/trip between Team Globe (people who accept and understand we live on a globe) and Team Flat Earth (people who believe that the Earth is flat and deny reality).
It was created by Will Duffy, a pastor in Denver, Colorado, USA. It involves the concept of settling the argument about the shape of our planet, by inviting people to travel to Antarctica, this December, to confirm whether the 24-hour Sun exists or not.
I live in the Southern Hemisphere, and December is the first month of Summer for us. And if you follow that logic, yes, it means our Christmases are hot and never, ever cold. I keep promising to write about that, so I’m going to do this year. Hopefully.
As I mentioned before, the Flat Earth Model does not allow the Midnight Sun to exist in the Southern Hemisphere, because the popular version of the Flat Earth map, turns Antarctica from a continent to an ice wall, that runs around the perimeter of the Flat Earth.
A Midnight Sun in the Northern Hemisphere works on a Flat Earth map but in the Southern Hemisphere? Hell no, because a 24-hour Sun in Antarctica would utterly decimate the Flat Earth Model.
Added to the fact, Flat Earthers have been saying for years that nobody is allowed to go to Antarctica because it’s controlled by the military. Which military I hear you ask? All of them! Portions of the world’s armies are there, protecting the secret of the Flat Earth. Apparently.
The next question is who gets to witness the Midnight Sun in the Final Experiment?
If I understand it correctly, 24 Flat Earthers and 24 Globe Earthers were invited to participate in The Final Experiment. These people are mainly YouTubers, or at least, social influencers, whether they are Team Flat Earth or Team Globe.
Out of these 48 participants, one Flat Earther and one Globe Earther will have their entire trip paid for; so it’s basically winning a free trip to Antarctica to confirm first-hand, the existence of the Southern Midnight Sun.
The other participants will be allowed to go as well, provided they accept the invitation to go and if they pay their own way. Some participants are crowdfunding their trip, which is a smart way to do it, if you ask me.
To the best of my understanding, three Flat Earthers and eight Globe Earthers are going this December to witness the 24-hour Sun.
Please remember, the idea of this event is to settle the argument whether our planet is Flat or a Globe. However, that argument was settled thousands of years ago, yet some people are living in their own versions of reality.
So here’s another question. What happens after the participants from Team Flat Earth and Team Globe witness the Midnight Sun? Because that’s what they’re going to see.
From the Team Globe perspective, I can only imagine the participants will upload the footage and images of the 24-hour Sun, create podcasts and videos about it, and say, “We don’t want to say we told you so, but we told you so. The Earth is a globe and not flat.”
The responses from the Flat Earthers will be different. Make no mistake about this, all of the participants will witness a Midnight Sun in the Antarctic Circle, that’s exactly what is going to happen. But what happens to them after that can be broken down into three different responses.
1.) Some Flat Earther participants will accept what they saw was a Midnight Sun and confirm they witnessed a 24-hour Sun in the Antarctic Circle, which proves the world is a globe and not flat; proving they are wrong. They will either drop out of social media and disappear, or they will transition into Team Globe and start promoting the globe, or at the least, start attacking the Flat Earth Model.
2.) Some Flat Earthers participants will accept what they saw was the Midnight Sun, but they will reject that it proves the world is a globe. It will just prove there was a Midnight Sun and nothing else.
3.) Some Flat Earthers participants will deny they saw a Midnight Sun, thus proving the world is Flat. What they saw was CGI, a hoax, a massive prank to convince them it was a 24-hour Sun. To them, the event was fake, so if it was fake, it must mean people are hiding the truth of a Flat Earth.
The responses from the wider Flat Earth community will be the same:
1.) Some people will believe and accept the images and footage presented to them by fellow Flat Earthers of a Midnight Sun to be real, and accept the truth that the world is a globe and not flat.
2.) Some people will believe and accept the images and footage, presented to them by fellow Flat Earthers of a Midnight Sun to be real, but deny that it proves the shape of the planet, one way or another.
3.) Some people will deny the evidence of the Midnight Sun, and of the Globe. This will be because they weren’t there to confirm the validity of the claims, but images and footage can be changed, so why would they believe anything? The photos are fake, the footage is CGI, and the Flat Earther participants are lying and can’t be trusted.
To this third group, they will believe that the lack of “real” evidence, is actually evidence that the Globe Earthers are lying, so that means the Earth is Flat, and it’s a cover-up.
It’s interesting to note that some of the Flat Earthers who were invited to participate in the Final Experiment and declined to go, are already explaining the results of the Final Experiment will mean nothing and change nothing, and/or explain how NASA and Globe Earthers will fake the entire operation.
I wish the participants in the Final Experiment all the luck in the world. I wish I was going, but I ultimately feel the majority of the Flat Earth community will still deny and reject the results.
Is it because they will not be able to accept reality at all costs? Is it because they believe they are still correct, and also smarter than all of the world’s scientists combined? Is it because they have spent over 1,000 hours researching Flat Earth on YouTube, so they know the ultimate truth? Is it because they have spent thousands of dollars on Flat Earth, and the idea that they have wasted that money, is too great to accept? Or is it because spreading disinformation about Flat Earth, is how some people earn their living on social media?
Maybe it is one of them, all of them or none of them, but don’t be surprised that after the Final Experiment is finished, hundreds of Flat Earthers will double down on their ideas and philosophy.
However, my admiration and congratulations go to Will Duffy for this enterprise. To quote Vanilla Ice, “Conducted and formed, this is a hell of a concept.”
And that’s another rant for another week. Thanks for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, eat your greens and I’ll see you next week.
Today’s blog is not about the usual things I discuss, like pop culture, children, science or history. Oh no, today we are covering two other passions of mine: my country and politics. Yes, yes, I can hear the collective groan, but wait, you’ll like it.
Spring is in the air; well for us it is, Autumn for our Northern Hemisphere friends. The birds are chirping, lambs are being born, houses are being cleaned, seeds are being planted, and the conservative coalition government of Aotearoa New Zealand are doing what they do best: incompetency.
When we last shone a microscope on those duly elected smooth-brained politicians, they had hit the milestone of 100 days in power on 8th March. So what have they been up to since then? That is an outstanding question along with, “Would Jedi be good at poker?”
So, I’m not going to be covering everything The Three-Headed Taniwha have done since March, just the crappy things. Granted, they have done some good, but when balanced on the scales of morality, kindness, and decency, their shitty shenanigans outweigh them. Sweet as, let’s do it!
Act leader David Seymour (left), National leader Christopher Luxon and New Zealand First leader Winston Peters, looking dapper as professional catwalk fashion models. Photo / Mark Mitchell
19/3/24: Disabilities Minister Penny Simmonds explained that the Government would be terminating respite care funding for families with disabled children, because of budgeting concerns. After Simmonds had added some extra controversial statements, the disabled community of Aotearoa amassed 10,000 signatures in 24 hours as a protest against the statements and new policy. Simmonds was later stripped of her Disability Issues portfolio position.
27/3/24: This was a busy day for the conservatives. They passed legislation restoring interest deductibility for residential investment property; reducing the bright-line test for residential property to two years; eliminating depreciation deductions for commercial and industrial buildings; requiring electric cars and plug-in hybrids to pay road user charges; and halting work on creating a 620,000sqkm ocean sanctuary around the Kermadec Islands.
2/4/24: Prime Minister Christopher Luxon proclaimed new policies concerning reducing wasteful spending, keeping agriculture out of the Emissions Trading Scheme, reversing the ban on offshore gas and oil exploration, restoring three strikes legislation, reviewing the firearms registry, establishing a Youth Serious Offender Category, and taking steps to replace mega polytechnic Te Pūkenga. You know, normal helpful things.
4/4/24: Local Government Minister Simeon Brown explained that local and regional councils that introduced Māori wards and constituencies without polling residents would have to hold referendums to hold or eliminate the wards they had just established.
14/4/24: Landlord-friendly policies were going to be introduced. These included re-introducing 90-day “no-cause” terminations for periodic tenancies. This means landlords can terminate a periodic tenancy without giving any reason. The tenant will only need to be given 42 days’ notice to end a tenancy. Landlords will also be able to terminate fixed-term tenancies, without giving a specific reason.
16/4/24: The Ministry of Education is going to ease the entry qualification requirements for ECE teachers, as well as the government will get to choose the locations for new ECE centres.
23/4/24: The Government revealed it would scrap or amend farming, mining and other industrial regulations as part of its planned overhaul of the Resource Management Act 1991.
2/5/24: Education Minister Erica Stanford announced the Government would install a structured literacy reading approach in all state-run schools, from Term 1 of next year. This means the Reading Recovery programme, which is an early literacy intervention system, will be terminated across public schools because the programme uses a whole language approach, instead of structured literacy.
21/5/24: The Government would be scrapping Kāinga Ora’s NZ$60 million first-home grant programme and redirecting the money towards social housing as part of the 2024 Budget.
7/6/24: The Government discontinued funding for the controversial drug rehabilitation Mongrel Mob programme, Kahukura.
9/6/24: Minister for Resources Shane Jones confirmed that the Government would introduce legislation to reverse the previous Government’s ban on oil and gas exploration in the second half of 2024.
11/6/24: Agricultural Minister Todd McClay explained that the NZ emissions trading scheme (ETS) would exclude agriculture.
14/6/24: Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee confirmed that the Government would introduce new firearms legislation to replace the Arms Act 1983, by 2026.
17/6/24: The Government proclaimed it would begin policy changes to ensure certain housing buildings could be built without resource consent.
23/6/24: The 2024 Government of New Zealand explained they would introduce boot camps for youth offenders aged 14–17.
3/7/24: The Government announced it would introduce standardised testing for primary school students from 2026.
12/7/24: The Government extended the NZ Defence Force’s deployment to US-led efforts to combat Houthi forces in the Red Sea from 31st July 2024 to 31st January 2025.
18/7/24: Associate Health Minister Casey Costello cut the excise rate on Heated tobacco products (HTPs) by 50%, to make them a more attractive option to smoking. The Ministry of Health has disagreed with her assessment. She has been fighting accusations of having ties to the tobacco industry, like claiming, “Nicotine is as harmful as caffeine.”
26/7/24: The Ministry of Education revealed they have stopped 100 school building projects to save NZ$2 billion, as a cost-cutting scheme.
30/7/24: The Government has earmarked NZ$216 million to pay for tax cuts it needs to fund tax cuts for heated tobacco products.
2/8/24: The Attorney-General Judith Collins explained that the Government would not progress eight of the 44 recommendations of the “Royal Commission of Inquiry into the Terrorist Attack on Christchurch Mosques”, including creating a new national intelligence and security agency, establishing an advisory group on counter-terrorism, instituting mandatory reporting of firearms injuries and amending the Crimes Act 1961 to criminalise inciting religious or racial disharmony.
4/8/24: The Ministry of Education revealed the Maths Action Plan, which includes a new mathematics curriculum from 2025, twice-annual maths assessments, funding for teaching professional development, and raising maths entry requirements for new teachers.
8/8/24: The Ministry of Social Development announced that emergency housing eligibility criteria would be tightened.
15/8/24: The Ministry of Social Development also announced that Whaikaha – Ministry of Disabled People would be restructured as a policy and advisory department and that its support service delivery functions would be assumed by the Ministry of Social Development.
This list is not a Project 2025 initiative, an episode of The Handmaid’s Tale, or a chapter of 1984. I would be laughing at the insanity of it all if it wasn’t so painfully tragic and real.
After reading this list, I have a question for the 52.8% of the population that voted for the Coalition of Chaos: Do you have buyer’s remorse yet?
The Coalition of Chaos has upset this geek for several reasons:
52.8% of voters elected a Government that doesn’t care about all New Zealanders, only the ones that fit the bill and criteria.
52.8% of voters thought they wanted a change after six years with Labour, so they believed a National-led coalition would be the opposite of a Labour-led coalition; but all of them were deceived.
The people making these cruel policies against New Zealanders are not foreigners living in faraway lands. They’re us. New Zealanders hurting New Zealanders. New Zealanders prosecuting New Zealand’s most poor and vulnerable. New Zealand’s most powerful and wealthy politician-landlords are telling the rest of the country, that we are overpaid and must cut back. New Zealanders spreading disorder with racism, conspiracy theories, culture wars, and division against other New Zealanders.
I love my quirky little country, I really do. But this elite club of village idiots couldn’t roll a tyre down a hill, let alone run this country. They’re dragging us back to the 1950s, smashing the progress we have made, and the bastards don’t care or don’t realise. I’m not sure which is worse.
The silver lining in this dumpster fire is that the Coalition of Chaos will be a one-term government because they have to be.
And with that, I’m done. We will check in with the Coalition of Chaos near the end of the year, to see if they have pulled their socks up, or just pulled their pants down to moon us.
Thanks for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, keep watching the Paralympics Games and I’ll see you next week when we talk about The Final Experiment.
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, one of the world’s worst ideas is back for another month. No, it’s not Some Geek Told Me’s The Tour of the Solar System. That hurt by the way. It’s Some Geek Told Me‘sWe Didn’t Start the Fire’s historical references.
If you missed the previous entries of this colossal mistake, they include:
I’ve been behind with writing the 1953 references to Billy Joel’s song, because the weather here has been terrible, and I’ve been trying to stay dry and warm in winter, so I’m fighting a losing battle.
Anyway, without any more time wasting; because that’s a striker’s or centre forward’s job, let’s dissect the We Didn’t Start the Fire’s historical references for 1953.
Can’t wait.
Credit: Tavern Trove/Jacob Ruppert, Inc.
1953
Joseph Stalin:
This entry on the list is not one of the most well-liked people who have ever lived. Born Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin, though known to the world as Stalin, was the brutal ruler of the Soviet Union from 1924-1953.
Stalin is a contentious figure in world history. He helped bring about the end of Adolf Hitler and the Third Reich, with the Soviet Union accounting for between 20-27 million people killed during the Second World War, the greatest death toll from any country. The bulk of these deaths came from fighting Nazi Germany.
However, before the war started, Stalin signed a non-aggression pact known as the Molotov–Ribbentrop Pact with Hitler. The pact was a plan for Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union to carve up Europe for themselves. And just like every villain team-up ever, there was betrayal when Nazi Germany invaded the Soviet Union in 1941, breaking the pact.
Viewed and regarded in the same shitty category as Hitler, Stalin seemed to look at Hitler’s crimes against humanity and said, “Hold my vodka.”
Through his leadership and regime known as Stalinism, some of Stalin’s crimes include, but not all: creating the Gulag system; the Great Famine; Collectivization, Dekulakization and Special Settlements; the Great Purge; Order No. 227; punishing Soviet prisoners of war; and refusing to punish Soviet soldiers’ war crimes.
Stalin’s direct actions like imprisonment and executions, but also his negligence, paranoia, and incompetency, caused the deaths of between 7-20 million Soviet citizens. When he died on 5th March 1953, people worldwide celebrated, after he was in power for 29 years.
Credit: The New York Times
Malenkov:
After Stalin died, there was a power vacuum that many people were trying to fill. The (un)lucky winner of that contest was Georgy Malenkov. Things did not go easily for Malenkov, because only after one week as leader, he was forced to give up control of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union.
After some time, Malenkov and Nikita Khrushchev, the party’s First Secretary, entered a power struggle over the leadership of the Soviet Union. History tells us that Malenkov lost and was removed from power, with Khrushchev becoming the new leader. Malenkov lasted only 186 days in power.
A modern equivalent would be Ex-British Prime Minister, Liz Truss, who only lasted 50 days as leader and failed to outlast a lettuce.
Official portrait of Georgy Malenkov, 1953. Credit: Dutch National Archives.
Nasser:
Nasser refers to Gamal Abdel Nasser Hussein, otherwise known as Gamal Abdel Nasser. Nasser was an Egyptian army officer, who along with Mohamed Naguib, led the 1952 Egyptian revolution, against the United Kingdom, and deposed the monarch, KingFarouk I.
In 1953, Egypt was declared a republic, with Naguib becoming Egypt’s first president. Eventually, Nasser placed Naguib under house arrest and became the de facto leader of Egypt, until his election in 1956. He served as Egypt’s second president until he died in 1970.
In contemporary times, we only need to look at Venezuela’s Nicolás Maduro, Hungary’s Viktor Orbán, Cuba’s Raúl Castro, or Eritrea’s Isaias Afwerki.
President Gamal Abdul Nasser in Cairo. (Keystone / Getty Images)
Prokofiev:
On 5th March 1953, (the same day Stalin died) Russian composer Sergei Prokofiev died at the age of 61. He had composed seven operas, seven symphonies, eight ballets, five piano concertos, two violin concertos, a cello concerto, a symphony concerto for cello and orchestra, and nine completed piano sonatas.
Some of his most beloved works were The Love for Three Oranges, the suite Lieutenant Kijé, the ballet Romeo and Juliet, and the eternal favourite, Peter and the Wolf.
For a modern composer, well, I don’t want to start a fight with anybody. If you want to choose someone for yourself, be my guest because we are blessed to live in a world full of amazing composers, and to choose one over another seems criminal, at least to me.
However, my wife added that John Williams is the cat’s pyjamas.
Sergei Prokofiev. Credit: Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Rockefeller:
Winthrop and Barbara Rockefeller were married on 14th February 1948. Winthrop was part of the wealthy and famous Rockefeller dynasty, being John D. Rockefeller’s grandson, and John D. Rockefeller Jr.’s son. Not to be outdone, Barbara was also a successful Hollywood actress. Barbara gave birth to their son, Winthrop Paul “Win” Rockefeller, on 17th September 1948.
Fast forward to two years later, the happy couple were estranged. By 1953, divorce proceedings had started, with both parties haggling over a settlement. This was a very publicised celebrity divorce and was a constant story in the news cycle. By 1954, they had finally divorced, with Barbara receiving a $5.5 million settlement, which was a record for the time.
Three of the biggest publicised celebrity divorces in recent times would be Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie; Ye (Kanye West) and Kim Kardashian; and Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. There are others, but come on, I need to sleep.
Winthrop Rockefeller and Barbara Sears Rockefeller walk together at the wedding, 1948. Credit: University of Arkansas at Little Rock Center for Arkansas History and Culture
Campanella:
Making the 1953 list is our first and only sportsperson, Roy Campanella. Campanella was a baseball player, who mainly played as a catcher. He started his Major League Baseball career in 1948, when he played for the Brooklyn Dodgers, until his early retirement in 1957 from a car accident.
In 1953, Campanella won the National League’s Most Valuable Player Award for the second time, after winning it in 1951, and for a third time in 1955. Campanella won the World Series in 1955 and was also inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1969.
Selecting a contemporary equivalent is difficult for me because even though I follow baseball to a certain extent, I don’t know it well enough to choose a player. I’m a rugby, cricket, football, and rugby league supporter, so baseball is not really in my wheelhouse. However, any followers and subscribers of New Zealand’s 5th least favourite website, who are also baseball fans, please let me know your opinions on the matter.
Roy Campanella. Credit: Dodger Blue
Communist Bloc:
You may recall that during the 1950s, the Cold War had started, and 1953 was a flashpoint for Europe. “The Communist Bloc” refers to the Eastern Bloc, or the Soviet Bloc; which was a term given to the countries that were Communist states.
In the case of the song, we are looking at the 1953 East German uprising. This happened when construction workers rose in protest against government demands to increase productivity. The protests soon spread across East Germany, with people starting to demand better living standards and resisting the Sovietization way of life in East Germany.
At the height of the protests, one million people were on the streets, demanding more from the ruling government and the Socialist Unity Party. The main protest lasted only about two days before The Kasernierte Volkspolizei (a militarised police force) and Soviet forces rolled in and violently crushed the protests with tank support.
This was only three months after Stalin’s death, so the government wanted to stop the protests as quickly as possible. At least 125 people were killed during the crackdown.
A modern example of the 1953 East German Uprising; even though it’s not that modern, would be the 1989 Tiananmen Square protests and massacre.
Soviet tanks in East Berlin broke up the crowds, and mass arrests followed in their wake. Credit: Pinterest
So for 1953, we covered a dictator’s death and his successor’s removal, an Egyptian political icon, a composer’s death, a celebrity divorce, a baseball player, and a failed uprising. 1953 was busy, but wait until we discuss 1954! Wow!
So, that’s it for another week. Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, watch the Paralympics Games1 and I’ll see you next week, when we check in on the Coalition of Chaos.
1 Seriously, go and watch the Paralympics Games. They deserve all the attention and support.
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