I want to talk about children’s names. Why? This is because selecting a child’s name is supposed to be a meaningful process, but sometimes it feels like it’s one of the most difficult things a parent can do. I thought my wife and I would get divorced, over our inability to compromise on UMC2’s name!

Both UMC1 and UMC2 have pop cultures names, but they are not mainstream names. It would only take a geek to identify their names and the meanings behind them.

Now this blog is not an original idea. My wife saw something similar on social media, about non-geeks giving children extremely cool sounding names from pop culture, but the parents not understanding the background of the names.

I liked the idea so much, that I put it to a vote to all of the staff at Some Geek Told Me, and I received 100% support for this, to create my own list.

As a parent, you could name your child after anything; like a traditional name from your family, or your favourite singer or sportsperson. Maybe it’s a name you have heard from pop culture that you quite like, but have no understanding about where it’s from.

Could you imagine yourself as a parent saying, “Luke, please wash your hands,“ or “Where are your shoes, Shuri?” That works, right?

But, what about, “Iago, please wash you hands,” or “Where are your shoes, Cruella?” Does it work now? No, no it doesn’t. Not for a child, at least. Or an adult I guess.

Below you will find some truly awesome sounding names from across pop culture. The issue is that these names will be from characters that have not made the wisest of choices. This will be because of two reasons; 1.) Characters that have very wobbly moral compasses, so they have made some very shitty decisions, or 2.) Characters that have betrayed their values, beliefs, country, family or friends, for vengeance, money, or power.

My humble apologies if there are real people with these names out there. It’s not to cause offense to anybody, I’m just trying to get some parents to rethink their choices, because you’re upsetting the geek community. And that is dangerous….just kidding, no, it’s not. We’re harmless, apart from trivia nights, where we conquer all whom stand before us. Pity the fools.

Alright, let’s do it in alphabetically order, because I can’t think of a better way!

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Anakin Aoyama Atomica Baelish Barriss Belloq Bellwether Bertholdt Black Adam Briony Brutus Caliban Cersei Claudius Cruella Cypher Daenerys Davros Demona Don John Dooku Ephialtes Fredo Gambit Ghirra Gin Goneril Gothel Hamlet Hans Iago Judas Kaede Kisma Kylo Loki Lotso Macbeth Madhouse Maeglin Meleoron Melkor Miek Mondego Morgoth Namor Nedry O’Brien O’Dim Obadiah Othello Palpatine Pettigrew Pong Prosset Reiner Roose Saruman Sauron Scar Severus Sinestro Smeagol Squard Starscream Stinky Pete Tandro Terra The Master Tyrion Valeris Vegeta Vizsla Volemort Vulko Walder Waller Waternoose Zuko

If you’re thinking of selecting a name from this list for your future child, please reconsider. Seriously, please rethink it. Don’t be a hipster; just trust a geek when I say: Your child will not thank you for it, nor will the geek community. Stay away from these names, like the Bog of Eternal Stench!

Did you recognise any names on the list? Do you think I missed some out? Please let me know your thoughts.

That’s another blog down, and a whole week to think of a new topic to rant about. Thanks for reading, wash your hands, and I’ll see you next week!

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