I want to talk about particle accelerators. Why? Well, in my humble opinion, I think they are the coolest machines on Earth. That’s a big call, so do I have any evidence for this? Not really, only my misplaced love in technology that I can only describe as beautiful.

You may have heard the words, atom smashers, colliders, or particle accelerators before, but they are more or less words that can be interchangeable, just like the Infinity Stones and the Infinity Gems, but also Paradise Island and Themyscira. That being the case, let’s try to untangle this mess that I’ve made.¹

Simply put, particle accelerators smash pieces of atoms together.

Great, thanks for reading and I’ll see….

As if. Particle accelerators are massive machines that can fire subatomic particles around a circuit, at speeds similar to the speed of light. The results of each experiment can help scientists to research and investigate answers about our universe, which brings about more questions.

I can only imagine years ago, a group of drunk physicists were enjoying a good night out at the pub, when someone suggests of thinking up the craziest experiments possible. Once again, I can only imagine there would be lots of different ideas, when someone mentions, “Hey, I’ve got it! Let’s take some subatomic particles and using electromagnetic fields, fling them around a circuit at close to the speed of light, and smash them together.”

Everybody would laugh at this and move on to the next crazy idea; but the group’s designated driver would have been listening the whole time. They speak up and say, “I was thinking about the last idea, and it seems quite interesting.”

The actual truth is far less entertaining than a drunken idea. The way I understand it, the design and implementation of various particle accelerators, were created by scientists Gustaf Ising, Ernest Lawrence, Max Steenbeck, Leó Szilárd and Rolf Widerøe, from the 1920’s to 1930’s.

So how does a particle accelerator work? That’s a great question, in fact, that’s the best question I have heard all day; even better than, “Should we get pizza tonight?”

Because each particle accelerator is different, they have different components, so they operate differently. Having said that, the best and simplest way I could describe it to anybody ², means laying down some easy groundwork first.

Let’s look at one of the most famous particle accelerators in the world, the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), located near Geneva, Switzerland, operated by CERN, to help me to explain them. Hopefully correctly.

Atoms are not the smallest pieces of matter. Within the structure of an atom ³, you would find three basic particles: a proton (it has a positive charge), a neutron (they have no charge, they are neutral), and an electron (it has a negative charge).

With each different element, the quantity of protons, neutrons, and electrons changes. There are other subatomic particles out in the world, but let’s just use protons, neutrons, and electrons for now. Ok?

Scientists can take protons for an example, and accelerate them to speeds, close to the speed of light. They do this by using electromagnetic fields, to accelerate the particles, through a network of tunnels.

These tunnels at CERN, span 27 km; at a maximum depth of 175 m, have been built around the area to house the particle accelerator, because it needs a lot of space and energy.

Now this is crazy, but true. Because of this, the particles can be fired at around 99% the speed of light. They zip around the network of looped tunnels, at a mind crushing speed of 11,000 times per second. Let that fact sink in.

The idea is that when these particles are whipping around, scientists can cause them to smash into each other. This is not because scientists hate subatomic particles, or there is a secret cult, trying to eliminate all subatomic particles from the world ⁴, but rather to create new subatomic particles and unlock more of the subatomic world.

I know, the whole thing sounds like a bad B-movie plot, but it’s real. By using particle accelerators, scientists have discovered the Higgs Boson (or God particle or Higgs particle); developed better computer scanning imagery; created synthetic elements like Moscovium, Tennessine, Oganesson; medical applications; the W and Z particles; and other subatomic particles.

I remember when the Higgs Boson was announced by the media in 2012, an article citing some scientists and researchers, were explaining that the discovery of the Higgs Boson, could give humanity the building blocks for faster than light technology.

This of course has led to scientists designing various theoretical space ships, with the ability to warp space/time or travel at light speed. How cool is that?!

There is also a real belief, that particle accelerators can help scientists to bridge the gap between the general theory of relativity and quantum mechanics, to create the Holy Grail of physics: quantum gravity theory.

I have never visited or seen a real particle accelerator, but I would love the opportunity to. Honestly, I think particle accelerators are what dreams are made of, so they have been pulled into our reality. They are the coolest machines, not just on this planet, or the solar system; but maybe the galaxy.

Not the universe though, because there will be an alien civilization, in some distant red-shifted galaxy, with real working replicators. How rad would that be?!

Anyway, with the new upgrades to the CERN particle accelerator, who the hell knows what amazing and fascinating surprises, will we discover. Particle accelerators; they are the cat’s pyjamas; the bee’s knees; or just simply, the coolest machines on Earth.

Thanks for reading, wash your hands, and I’ll see you on Wednesday for another special blog.

¹ There’s a first for everything.

² Remember, I’m not a physicist, just someone that likes science. A lot. Probably too much, actually.

³ Hydrogen being an exception, because it has no neutrons; just 1 proton and 1 electron.

⁴ Good luck with that one.

This is a special blog for today, because I usually post sometime on a Monday; and as you are all very capable of following the Gregorian calendar, today is Wednesday.

The reason I am posting today, is because I want to talk about COVID-19. Why? Because after two years of avoiding it like…um…the plague, COVID-19 finally tracked me down and kicked my arse.

I’ll be honest with you, in my utter arrogance, I thought I would avoid it. I told myself, that if I kept washing and sanitising my hands regularly, wearing a face mask in public, and following government guidelines, I would be sweet as. What an idiot.

Currently, the COVID-19 Omicron variant is still ripping it’s way through New Zealand, like Cookie Monster at a birthday party. At the time of writing this blog, 18% of the entire population of New Zealand, has been infected with COVID-19.

I’m thinking about it now, and catching COVID-19 was inevitable for me; just as Winter follows Autumn, or the Joker escaping Arkham Asylum. It was always going to happen.

Now as disappointed as I was for actually contracting the virus in the first place, I do feel fortunate for one reason. During my time of being infected, I was suffering from headaches, constant coughing, insomnia, nose bleeds, sneezing, tiredness and a sore throat.

My wife has seen first hand, what kind of damage Man Flu can have on me; but at COVID-19’s peak, she said that I looked, spoke, and walked like a zombie. COVID-19 kicked my arse.

I feel grateful though, because of all of the symptoms I suffered from, things could have been worse for me. I could have been hospitalised or died from it; but I didn’t and it’s down to one reason: vaccinations. As a country, we are sitting at a vaccine rate of 96%, and I was lucky enough to be double vaccinated, as well as receiving the booster.

I have no doubt that the vaccine protected me, from developing even greater and more dangerous symptoms. However I know millions of people around the world are still without their first dose.

I don’t know how to solve that problem, but one thing I can do, is once again thank every single person involved in the research, design, development, testing, manufacturing, and distribution, of the various COVID-19 vaccinations being used on this planet.

I love science. Always have, always will.

Thanks for reading, please look after yourselves and your families, wash your hands, and I’ll see you next Monday.