Welcome back to Part Two of the 10 Downing St shenanigans, as mentioned in the Sue Gray Report. If you’re not sure what you’re reading, don’t panic; it happens to me all the time. I really mean that.

Just read my previous blog about Part One, and hopefully you’ll be brought up to speed on Boris Johnson’s government, causing calamity, carnage and catastrophes, during the United Kingdom COVID-19 lockdowns and restictions.

So, let’s move onto the second part:

Part Two: Secret Santa

This 10 Downing St apocalyptic event, was held on the 18th December 2020, three days after the quiz event. Before we go on, please remember that the United Kingdom was still under a second national lockdown, which required people to stay at home, with no more than two people from other households for indoor gatherings, leading up to and around Christmas. Remember that.

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Once again, I’ll let the report explain the situation:

The 18 December 2020 was a Friday, when the weekly Press Office meeting and
“Wine Time Friday” would have normally taken place. It was also the last working
Friday of 2020 and there was a desire to mark the occasion.

Some work did take place in the Press Office and No 10 whilst this event was
underway, in relation to the ongoing negotiations on a trade deal ahead of the UK’s
exit from the EU scheduled for 31 December 2020; and on the emergence of the
Delta variant of Covid 19, raising issues of what Covid restrictions would be
necessary over the Christmas period with announcements being made the next
day.

A number of senior members of the Press Office attended or observed
relevant meetings and discussed follow up action. The event started by about 18.00 which was later than scheduled. It took place in the same space as the leaving event on 27 November 2020, in the area just outside the No 10 Press Office.

A Secret Santa gift exchange took place. There was also a quiz.
An awards ceremony took place, at around 19.45. A No 10 official sent a message
to one of the WhatsApp groups at 19.49 stating “prize giving now guys, return”. The
investigation was informed that this was an extension of the type of awards
ceremony which might take place on “Wine Time Friday”.

Those present gathered together at the meeting table in the small area outside the main Press Office. Awards certificates were handed out to staff by Jack Doyle, a senior special
adviser. There were about 30 certificates prepared, although not all those awarded
certificates were present. The ceremony lasted between 10-25 minutes and
between 15 and 45 people were in the room during that time.

At approximately 19.45 that evening, a panic alarm button was accidentally
triggered by a member of staff. The custodians on duty responded, as did one of
the police officers on No 10 door duty. They observed a large number of people in
the area outside of the main Press Office and one individual giving a speech. Inside
the Press Office a further 15-20 people were present.

There was food and alcohol available which had been bought and brought in by
staff. Some members of staff drank excessively. The event was crowded and noisy such that some people working elsewhere in the No 10 building that evening heard
significant levels of noise coming from what they characterised as a “party” in the
Press Office. A cleaner who attended the room the next morning noted that there
had been red wine spilled on one wall and on a number of boxes of photocopier
paper.

The event lasted for several hours, with varying levels of attendance throughout,
including because officials left to attend official meetings. Attendance peaked
during the awards ceremony. No 10 exit logs show a number of members of staff
remaining in the office until after midnight.

So, to recap the sequence of absurd events: A party was held at 10 Downing St, with 15-45 people attending. Food and alcohol were served, along with playing another quiz, with Secret Santa presents and awards were given out.

Let’s also remember, that some person; drunk no doubt, set off the panic alarm button and red wine was spilled on the wall, and on some boxes. My questions about this idiotic debauchery are as follows:

• Did Jacob Rees-Mogg compete in the quiz? What was his score? (Same question as last time)
• Did Boris Johnson receive a Secret Santa gift? If so, what was it?
• Did Boris Johnson give a Secret Santa gift? Is it possible to return it to the discount bin at ASDA?
• Are “Wine Time Fridays” still going on at 10 Downing St?
• Has Nigel Farage ever turned up to whine about the EU and immigrants?
• Was anybody unhappy with their Secret Santa gift?
• Can we return Boris Johnson back to Henley?
• Has WhatsApp come out and said, “Don’t you dare drag us into this mess!”
• Did Jack Doyle have a good night? Did he give himself a certificate?
• What were the certificates for? ie Most affairs in the year, Highest number of sex scandals in a year, Lowest IQ (who could tell?), The highest number of laws broken in a year, The greatest amount of lies told to the British people in a single day.
• Who was the imbecile that set off the panic alarm? No really, who was it?
• Was the cleaner given a bonus, for cleaning up Tory left overs?

While the British public were saying their final goodbyes to their loved ones, via Zoom, the Tories were having a Friday night bender at 10 Downing St. Disgraceful does not even scratch the surface of this insult. They made the rules. They enforced the rules. They just didn’t follow them. I wonder if their parents or children are proud of them?

I’m actually doing this without swearing, so I think I’m doing alright. That’s all from me tonight, because my dog is asleep on my pillow again, so I need to set up the couch. I’ll see you on Monday for the third and final part of the Sue Gray report. Until then, thanks for reading, wash your hands and remember to breathe.

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