I want to talk about Star Wars. Why? Hmmm….maybe because it’s Star Wars Day! The 4th of May aka May the 4th be with you, can mean different things to different people; but ultimately, it’s a day to celebrate all things Star Wars.
Slowly over time, UMC1 and UMC2 have been becoming more interested in Star Wars. They recently saw A New Hope, last week for the first time, and they now want to see all of the films. Patience, my clever padawan and youngling, patience.
Oddly enough, they like Star Wars for different reasons. UMC1 seems to be all about the different vehicles, whether they fly or drive. He wants know to about their engines, passengers, speeds, and other capabilities. UMC2 on the other hand, is all about the droids. He is nearly 4 years old, but he is hard core about droids.
Because of Star Wars Day, UMC1 and UMC2 decided to take after their artistic mother, and make some Star Wars art projects.
Utinni the Jawa by UMC2Utinni the Jawa by UMC2
UMC2 decided to make a Jawa, named Utinni. This is because he thinks they’re the worst aliens to purchase a droid from. He also believes that Jawas are extremely funny, but he doesn’t trust them. UMC2 constantly tells random people, to never buy droids from Jawas, because they’ll have bad motivators.
Gonky the power droid by UMC1
UMC1 chose to create a power droid, called Gonky. Apparently Gonky is some sort of super power droid, because he can run at extremely fast speeds, helping to fix broken spaceships, by supplying power to them. Oh, I forgot, he can also dance.
That’s it for today. From all of the staff at Some Geek Told Me, have a Happy Star Wars Day! May the 4th be with you. Always.
Thanks for reading, wash your hands, and I’ll see you next week.
I want to talk about children’s names. Why? This is because selecting a child’s name is supposed to be a meaningful process, but sometimes it feels like it’s one of the most difficult things a parent can do. I thought my wife and I would get divorced, over our inability to compromise on UMC2’s name!
Both UMC1 and UMC2 have pop cultures names, but they are not mainstream names. It would only take a geek to identify their names and the meanings behind them.
Now this blog is not an original idea. My wife saw something similar on social media, about non-geeks giving children extremely cool sounding names from pop culture, but the parents not understanding the background of the names.
I liked the idea so much, that I put it to a vote to all of the staff at Some Geek Told Me, and I received 100% support for this, to create my own list.
As a parent, you could name your child after anything; like a traditional name from your family, or your favourite singer or sportsperson. Maybe it’s a name you have heard from pop culture that you quite like, but have no understanding about where it’s from.
Could you imagine yourself as a parent saying, “Luke, please wash your hands,“ or “Where are your shoes, Shuri?” That works, right?
But, what about, “Iago, please wash you hands,” or “Where are your shoes, Cruella?” Does it work now? No, no it doesn’t. Not for a child, at least. Or an adult I guess.
Below you will find some truly awesome sounding names from across pop culture. The issue is that these names will be from characters that have not made the wisest of choices. This will be because of two reasons; 1.) Characters that have very wobbly moral compasses, so they have made some very shitty decisions, or 2.) Characters that have betrayed their values, beliefs, country, family or friends, for vengeance, money, or power.
My humble apologies if there are real people with these names out there. It’s not to cause offense to anybody, I’m just trying to get some parents to rethink their choices, because you’re upsetting the geek community. And that is dangerous….just kidding, no, it’s not. We’re harmless, apart from trivia nights, where we conquer all whom stand before us. Pity the fools.
Alright, let’s do it in alphabetically order, because I can’t think of a better way!
Anakin Aoyama Atomica Baelish Barriss Belloq Bellwether Bertholdt Black Adam Briony Brutus Caliban Cersei Claudius Cruella Cypher Daenerys Davros Demona Don John Dooku Ephialtes Fredo Gambit Ghirra Gin Goneril Gothel Hamlet Hans Iago Judas Kaede Kisma Kylo Loki Lotso Macbeth Madhouse Maeglin Meleoron Melkor Miek Mondego Morgoth Namor Nedry O’Brien O’Dim Obadiah Othello Palpatine Pettigrew Pong Prosset Reiner Roose Saruman Sauron Scar Severus Sinestro Smeagol Squard Starscream Stinky Pete Tandro Terra The Master Tyrion Valeris Vegeta Vizsla Volemort Vulko Walder Waller Waternoose Zuko
If you’re thinking of selecting a name from this list for your future child, please reconsider. Seriously, please rethink it. Don’t be a hipster; just trust a geek when I say: Your child will not thank you for it, nor will the geek community. Stay away from these names, like the Bog of Eternal Stench!
Did you recognise any names on the list? Do you think I missed some out? Please let me know your thoughts.
That’s another blog down, and a whole week to think of a new topic to rant about. Thanks for reading, wash your hands, and I’ll see you next week!
I want to talk about Doctor Who, in particular, some child friendly episodes. Why? My wife and I are large fans of the Doctor, and of her enemies. We look forward to watching new episodes, so we can turn them into an event, with pop corn or chips. We love it.
So being the geeks that we are, we have various geek memorabilia, scattered around the house. A Batman lamp here; a Right Hand of Doom money box over there; a Silver Surfer framed print on one wall; with some Harry Potter Lego sitting on a bookshelf; and a life sized poster of a Dalek, outside UMC1 and UMC2’s bedroom.
The boys have no real idea about what a Dalek is, other than walking about with a washing basket over themselves, with a spatula and whisk sticking out; shouting, “I’m a Dalek! I’m a Dalek!”
We have shown them different videos of the theme song, which UMC2 calls, the Doctor Song. We have also shown them some funny scenes from the show, where the boys have thought were hilarious!
This of course has led to them campaigning to actually watch some entire episodes. Being the geeky parents that we are, we have said yes; on the condition that the episodes are child friendly.
Because of this, my wife and I have pooled our knowledge of the Doctor, and have created a list of some child friendly episodes of Doctor Who. We have tried to keep it to one incarnation of the Doctor as possible, because all of the Doctors deserve their own time in the starlight.
This episode has some truly hilarious scenes, that children would love. From what we can remember, some 2-D creatures from another dimension, have attacked the TARDIS’ outer shell, and caused it to shrink.
This results in some shenanigans with the 12th Doctor being trapped inside, and Clara carrying it around like a toy. It’s a hoot, and kids will love it.
Though to be honest, the 2-D creatures, named the Boneless, actually convert some people into 2-D, thus killing them, including a police officer. The Boneless then try and convert the Doctor, Clara and Rigsy into 2-D….so that could be a bit scary for the kids. Maybe we could pass on this one?
Partners in Crime: Season 4, Episode 1
Alright, the 10th Doctor and Donna are investigating a new weight-loss drug. The good news is that the drug reduces the user’s weight; the bad news is that the drug creates pieces of humanoid fat, that detaches itself from the user’s body.
The fat blobs are called Adipose, an alien race in their infant form. Children would love watching the Adipose walk around, with their cute little bodies, stubby legs, webbed hands, while causing trouble.
But wait a minute, there is a scene where a person is totally converted to a collection of Adipose; Matron Cofelia tries to kill 1 million British citizens, by the total conversation of Adipose; and also Matron Cofelia falls to her death, after being betrayed by the Adiposian First Family. Damn, the kids will need therapy over this, so we can’t show them this episode, either.
The Lodger: Season 5, Episode 11
Ok, let’s try 11 shall we? The 11th Doctor rents a room in a flat with Craig, and because of some time loops, he decides to investigate. This is because the Doctor suspects the cause of the time disturbances are being created by Craig’s upstairs neighbour.
Children will think it’s hilarious watching the Doctor play football for the first time, but also trying to act normal and blend into an urban British lifestyle; which he fails at. Just watching the Doctor trying not to be himself, is worth the ticket price for the kids.
By the end of the episode, a few people…have died. Oh, I forgot about that. An alien spaceship emergency holographic program, is killing people in order to find a pilot for the ship. Walking up a set of stairs in a strange house, could suddenly become nightmare fuel for children. Onto the next episode, please.
Rose: Season 1, Episode 1
I have it, the best child friendly episode is the first episode of the relaunch. The 9th Doctor meets Rose, a teenage shop assistant. Together, they uncover an Auton invasion of London. Autons look like mannequins, but they are much more than that.
The scenes of mannequins chasing people, the Doctor speed reading a book, Mickey getting kidnapped by a rubbish bin, are quite comical; however the Doctor being attacked by a plastic arm, would be great entertainment for the kids.
Hang on, the ending is brutal. The Autons open fire and kill dozens of people, while the Nestene Consciousness dies. Yet again, the day is saved, but with a large body count. I really don’t want to have to explain this to UMC1 and UMC2; next!
The Tomb of the Cybermen: Series 5, Episode 1
Let’s go back, way back to 1967 with the release of The Tomb of the Cybermen. The 2nd Doctor, along with Jamie and Victoria, travel to the planet Telos, where an expedition is taking place. It’s later revealed that the expedition has set out to find the Tomb of the Cybermen, that died out hundreds of years before.
This episode would be ideal for children, because of the futuristic music; the fact that the episode is black and white; but also that the Cybermen look hilarious and not scary at all.
Hang on, I’m forgetting something…oh, that’s it. The Cybermen murder some people, because that’s what they do. I’m starting to see a pattern here; a lot of people die in Doctor Who. Again, this is more nightmare fuel for children. Alright, I have one chance for success!
Kerblam!: Season 11, Episode 7
This is the last roll of the die for me, let’s go with the 13th Doctor; our current one. The Doctor gets a mysterious message from Kerblam, a massive galactic retailer. Once there, The Doctor, Yaz, Ryan, and Graham try and help whomever sent for help, as well as sort out the problems at Kerblam.
This episode would be great for kids. Firstly, a robot delivers a package to the Doctor, inside the TARDIS; people are playing with bubble wrap; and the robots themselves, the TeamMates and Kerblam Men, look outrageous!
The main theme for the episode…concerns a human workforce being replaced by an automated workforce. And that same workforce, is going to try and kill thousands of people with explosive bubble wrap.
Ok, I concede, I’m out. Doctor Who is very entertaining, but it can be quite intense, even for adults, let alone for children. I honestly can’t think of a single child friendly episode, that would be safe from people dying and violence. Though to be fair, I have not seen every single episode of Doctor Who; I’m not that cool.
Maybe there was a storyline or episode from the 1st Doctor, or the 4th, or even the 7th, that is actually child friendly. I can’t imagine the Master being featured in any of them, if they exist.
However, maybe you know of some child friendly episodes? If you do, please let me know, because I’m very curious. With that, I’m off to watch Superman & Lois. How good is Bizarro? Wait, that should be, how bad is Bizarro?
Stay safe, thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week.
I want to talk about Dragon Ball. Why? The reason is because my awesome wife gave me the complete Dragon Ball Saga on DVD for Christmas. I had watched Dragon Ball Z a long time ago, but no other Dragon Ball series regularly since then.
My wife thought it would be a great idea for us to watch them together on Saturday nights, to witness the beginning of the whole story, but also to understand some of the events we had heard about.
So instead of hiring some baby sitters to watch UMC1 and UMC2, and hit some bars, nightclubs and parties on Saturday nights, we stayed at home and watched Dragon Ball. We are that cool.
22 discs, 3,850 minutes, and 153 episodes later, we have finished it. There are so many different things that we have learnt, but since we went into Dragon Ball without a huge amount of knowledge; other than what we have picked up over the last few decades, everything was revealing and entertaining.
Below are 25 of the most craziest, interesting, entertaining, and favourite moments from Dragon Ball, that we have discovered, in no particular order. Also I realise a lot of people would have already seen Dragon Ball, so this list will not be a surprise to some of you; I’m only a few decades late.
WARNING, there are spoilers, so read at your own caution.
1.) Krillin has always been loyal, short and bald.
2.) The craziest building in Dragon Ball, has to be Muscle Tower, the six-story fortress, belonging to General White, of the Red Ribbon Army. When Goku enters it, he encounters mazes, monsters and mayhem.
3.) The original reason Bulma was searching for the Dragon Balls, was for the Eternal Dragon to grant her a boyfriend. Yes, a boyfriend.
4.) The Red Ribbon Army soldiers were under the assumption, that the reason they were searching for the Dragon Balls, was for world domination. The real reason was for Commander Red, the leader of the Red Ribbon Army, to become taller.
5.) DynoCaps are some of the greatest inventions, we have ever seen. Why has someone not invented them for real?
6.) Mercenary Tao’s mode of transportation, is both extremely bad arse and bat-shit crazy.
7.) The origins of some crazy character names: the Red Ribbon Army’s generals were all named after colours; King Piccolo and his Demonic Clan were named after instruments; Goku’ grandfather Gohan, is named after rice; Krillin is named after chestnut; Bulma is named after girls’ gym shorts; and the list just goes on and on.
8.) Goku promised to marry Chi-Chi when they were children, by an innocent mistake; but he still went through with the wedding, when he was older.
9.) Master Roshi is a complicated character: on one hand, he is a gifted martial artist and wise mentor, who cares deeply about his students; however he is one of the worse perverts ever.
10.) The names of some of the finishing moves like Wolf Fang Fist, Four Witches Technique, Devilmite Beam, Solar Flare, Crane Style Assassin Strike, Kamehameha, Explosive Demon Wave, were truly epic.
11.) Krillin’s technique to defeat See-Through, the Invisible Man, was very different. Wow, Bulma will never forgive him for it.
12.) I didn’t know it was possible for anybody to be squeamish, when watching a cartoon, but my wife could not stand the sight and sounds of King Piccolo, coughing up his eggs.
13.) Fortuneteller Baba and Master Roshi were siblings, and their interactions were priceless.
14.) We got to see how the origin of Goku’s power pole and the Flying Nimbus. Roshi would never be worthy of riding the Flying Nimbus again!
15.) At no point, was the location of Goku’s parents, the subject of conversation; by anybody.
16.) My wife and I would start trying to guess the number of episodes a particular fight or mission would last.
17.) The theme song actually tells you, exactly what happens in the show.
18.) The number of episodes the Ox-King’s castle was being destroyed by Fire Mountain’s lava; while the Ox-King was still trapped inside, was truly insane.
19.) The final episodes with the Furnace of Eight Divisions was bonkers, because of what Goku had to do, but also the fact the Furnace actually existed in the first place.
20.) The Devil’s Toilet was the most absurd, yet funniest name for a building in Dragon Ball.
21.) The mystery of Goku’s transformation by the full moon, is never truly resolved.
22.) Launch is very much like Bruce Banner; sometimes the Dragon Team needed Nice Launch, other times, they needed Violent Launch.
23.) The first wish granted by the Eternal Dragon in Dragon Ball, was for Oolong. He wished for a comfortable pair of underwear.
24.) Watching Yajirobe and Korin together was hilarious, because even though Yajirobe was on the support team, he was still a jerk.
25.) The way Goku would determine if someone was a boy or a girl, had us in disbelief and laughter.
There are a lot more things I would like to discuss, but I feel 25 observations of Dragon Ball is enough. We loved watching it; even every single recap of the previous episode. The show is a product of it’s era, but it was outstanding.
From the fights scenes, trash talking, powering up scenes, Roshi and his nose bleeds, Goku being hungry, and Emperor Pilaf and his gang losing yet again, Dragon Ball is a gem; but I would not have it any other way.
I want to talk about One Punch Man. Why? Because I’ve fallen in love with the series and not ashamed to admit it. It’s become a guilty pleasure of mine now, for better or worse. For those people out there that have never heard of One Punch Man; 1.) I’m sorry to hear that, and 2.) I’ll explain what it’s all about.
The story of One Punch Man started off as a webcomic, then transitioned to magna (print) anime (television) video games and a live action movie, which is being developed. One Punch Man was created by ONE1 and Yusuke Murata; while the manga has sold over 30 million copies and has been translated into several different languages.
Image by Some Geek Told Me
So, who or what exactly is One Punch Man?One Punch Man follows the story of a man named Saitama, that has trained and developed his body to a point that he has become so absurdly strong, that he can defeat any opponent with only one punch. He has also gained super speed and invulnerability through his training.
For his training, Saitama spent three years completing the same daily fitness workout: 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, a 10 km run, as well eating healthy food, and not using the air conditioner or heater to reinforce his mental toughness. This training regime transformed Saitama into quite possibly, the strongest person in the world, but at the cost of his hair falling out, and slowly being disconnected from emotions.
There are many more facets about Saitama and his world, that I could explain to you, but I feel a lot of that can be found on other websites. Because of this, I want to talk about why I actually like this series, whether it’s the manga or anime.
I have the first 21 volumes of the manga, while the 22nd and 23rd volumes are still on pre-order for me. I have also watched both seasons of the anime, so I can come at this from both mediums. It’s just so much fun and entertaining! To me it’s just a guilty pleasure, it’s just so much fun.
I love how Saitama has deep and philosophical questions about himself, his role as a hero, as well as his place in the world. I find this very refreshing to see this coming from a protagonist, because Saitama is actually a complex character. He’s bored and he’s trying to find some adventure and bring meaning to his life. I think that’s awesome, I really do.
Another thing I love about the series; regardless if we talking about the manga or anime, is the fact that there are strong background characters. I mean, they really are amazing. There could be many spinoffs from these characters. I mean, I would love to have a backstory for Speed-o’-Sound Sonic; or for some of the Class S heroes, especially Pig God.
I also love the ranking system for the heroes, which I feel is very original and quite innovating, because it shows you superheroes from a completely different prospective and in my humble opinion; it works, it really works.
I don’t know if the ranking system could have been pulled off in American comics, because it would possibly come off as nonsensical. However, I think this is one of the advantages manga has over American and Western comics.
Sorry, I just love this series. Whenever I get a new volume, I try to make it a priority and read it within the first week; but usually, I go back and read the previous volume beforehand. This is because, it could have been four-eight months since I read the series, so it’s better to refresh myself with the story again.
I love how with the Class S heroes, everyone is quite different and they all have various motivations; and since I’ve already mentioned him, take Pig God for example. From what I have read and seen about him, he defeats his villains by eating them; that’s completely horrifying and hilarious at the same time.
Also there’s Puri-Puri Prisoner; he’s an amazing character because of his Angel Style fighting move, which can only be performed naked and the fact that he has a harem of men. He likes being in prison, because he’s closer to his “honies”. He is wickedly funny.
This series is so much fun, it’s rare for me to be reading something that makes me laugh so much. The series is so hilarious and it works, because Saitama is not a serious character, but Genos is. I feel the fact that these two have become heroes for different reasons, actually works in their favour, when working together. They are actually learning from each other.
There have been some magnificent scenes in the series, but I think one of best ones, is the practice fight between Saitama and Genos, especially in the anime. Reading it in the manga was brilliant, but to see it translated into anime, was simply just awe inspiring; it seriously was.
It was one of the coolest fight scenes I have ever witnessed; at one point Genos was fighting Saitama’s after images, and then displaying just how unbelievably and ridiculously overpowered Saitama is, his non-connecting thrown punch caused mountains to be smashed. It’s absurd and awesome at the same time. I can’t say enough about this series, I love it, I really really love it.
I feel that One Punch Man; just like Invincible, has added something to the superhero genre. The dialogue is funny, the art is exquisite and you can’t but help root for Saitama; not just to win, but because you are watching his internal growth.
One Punch Man is more than a comical or superhero spoof, it’s intelligent and it’s also very hilarious. This could be very naive of me to say, but I feel this series can make a lot of people happy.
And isn’t that the reason for storytelling; to make people think about things and themselves, but also to be entertained and One Punch Man does this. It doesn’t matter how long this series exists, I’m in for the long haul.
I can’t forget to mention about everybody’s fighting styles. Some of these are the best sounding names, this side of the Dragon Ball Saga. Lion Slash Meteor Shower, Tank Top Tackle, Void Shaking Tiger Fist, Hell Storm, and Collapsing Star Roaring Cannon, are just some of the epic fighting styles.
I think when it comes to One Punch Man, Saitama has become one of the new faces of superheroes in the 21st century; along with Class S, Class A, Class B, Class C heroes, and the monsters too.
I also think it would be a mistake for me to not discuss Mumen Rider. I think he is Class C, Rank 1 and to me, I think he is one of the most outstanding characters in the series.
This is because he has no powers; he is a rider for justice! When he turns up for a fight, he’s got his bicycle helmet, goggles and his bike, and that’s it. He get his arse kicked very single time, but that’s not what I like about him.
The reason is that they’ve created a character, that whenever there is someone that needs help, or if there is a crisis, Mumen Rider is usually the first person to put his hand up or the first person to turn up. Even though he is going to lose, he still turns up, which is actually extremely heroic.
One Punch Man is a series I only discovered 3 years ago, but it’s now become one of the greatest titles in my reading diet. If you have already read or seen One Punch Man, let me know. If you haven’t, do yourself a favour and correct that mistake.
Thanks for reading and I’ll see you soon.
1 ONE originally created the webcomic, then Murata came on board as the artist for the manga.
Hello, my name is Indy and I’m a 9 year old good dog. Mum says I’m actually a bichon cross, but I’m pretty sure I’m a good dog too. My Dad has been working on this blog, for hundreds of years and needs a break, so he asked me to write this week’s one. He is tired and needs a nap. No fair, I like naps too!
He said I could write about anything, apart from Sour Cream and Chives, but I don’t listen to modern music. I think the things that he writes about are boring, so I wanted to talk about some of my favourite topics instead, like running, rolling on smelly stuff at the beach and licking sweaty feet. My Dad said the people that subscribe to this blog, are not ready for these amazing topics….yet!
After he said no to my choices, I asked my Mum what I should choose. She is nice and smarter than Dad, so I listen to her more. She suggested I should talk about my favourite animated dogs, so I will.
This is me watching, one of the many examples of Snowy saving Tintin.
The first dog I want to talk about is my doppelganger, Snowy. People are always confusing me with Snowy, even though I am faster than him and more handsome. We are both small and white and dogs, but we are not the same. He is a Wire Fox Terrier, while I am a good dog, Bichon Frise crossed with speed and awesomeness. Mum says I’m actually Bichon, Maltese, Fox Terrier so I guess we are more alike than I thought!
Snowy is a very good dog like me, but he has a human sidekick called Tintin. I am very confused about Snowy’s tv show, because it is named after the human, Tintin. I have watched this show on the screen and Snowy is always saving Tintin and the day.
Snowy is great. He jumps, barks, runs very fast and always solves the case, while Tintin is always trying to catch up to Snowy, because he is slow. Why would anybody name a show after a human that relies on a dog to do all the work?
The answer is a cat. I don’t like cats much. Cats are always trying to hassle me, like our neighour’s white cat that sits on the fence and stares at me through my window. I yell at the cat and say “How dare you look at my house, cat!”, but my Mum and Dad just think I’m crying. I wish my Mum and Dad were as smart as me, so they would understand the dangers of cats.
Cats must have named the tv show after Tintin, instead of Snowy, because they are jealous of how great Snowy is, because he is such a good dog.
Another animated dog I like is Scooby-Doo. For a start Scooby’s tv show is named after him, like it should be. It’s an improvement from poor Snowy. Maybe it should be called The Snowy Show? Or maybe Snowy could leave that show and go solve crimes with Scooby, because Scooby is smarter than Tintin.
Anyway, Scooby has this gang of humans that tags along with him to solve mystery crimes. Without Scooby’s help, the gang would never solve anything, Scooby carries the entire show. Scooby has a human friend named Shaggy, that is so much better than Tintin, because Shaggy can talk to Scooby and understand him. Shaggy is very clever, for a human.
I like Scooby because he is smart, funny, brave and gets to run a lot, especially in hallways. I like running in hallways too. Scooby should go to the beach more often though, because even though running in houses is fun, it’s not very fun always running in a dark, scary house. I don’t like the dark, because there could be cats inside my house and I wouldn’t see them.
The BEST part is that Scooby has a snack named after him! That’s how you know he is famous, where are Indy snacks though? Maybe if Dad’s blog was famous I could get a snack deal?! If you could buy Indy Snacks at the food shop, I would pester my Mum and Dad to buy all of them. It’s great that Scooby has snacks, but he does silly things for Scooby Snacks. When the gang says “Come in this spooky house and we will give you a Scooby snack”, sometimes he should say no and go for a nap in the green van (I would!). That way they will remember who the star of the show is!
Ooh, another great dog is Snoopy. I like Snoopy, but I suspect he might actually be a bad dog. (I feel like a meanie for saying that.) Snoopy has an OUTSIDE dog house. My dog house is inside, because I’m a good dog. I think Snoopy may have been a bad dog and his humans won’t let him sleep inside. I wonder what he did? Maybe he ate something he was told not to eat or maybe his humans were jealous of how great he is. I do not know.
I like to go in my INSIDE dog house after a hard hour’s worth of work, walking around the house and staring through the window. In the movies, Snoopy’s dog house can fly which I’ll admit, is an improvement on mine; but mine is still better!
Snoopy is also great, because he has a Christmas song named after him. I wish I had a Christmas song named after me. This is how it would go, you know… if I had a song:
“Indy the magnificent, see him saving Christmas, HOORAY, The fancy tree and wrapped boxes are outside, FOUL PLAY! The wet stuff falls down from the sky, DISMAY! Indy is brave and rescues everything, before everything is wet and soggy, MAKE WAY!”
See what I did there? What a great song, because the last words all rhyme and they are in shouty capitals, so you have to shout them!
Mum said my Christmas song should be a warning tale about not eating lollies from under the Christmas tree and ending up at the vets for a $300 dog enema. But I don’t know what she is talking about.
Side note, I’m pretty sure that the Red Baron is a cat. But Dad said this is not a blog about cat conspiracy theories, so I’ll let you do your own research if you are interested.
Speaking of internet research, when I tried to find out more information about this next dog, there wasn’t much to be found (Mum helped because I don’t know what a search engine is and my paws are good at many things, but turning fiddly book pages is not one one of them!). This leads me to believe his owner takes credit for all his exploits; it’s Krypto the super dog!
Krypto has everything a perfect superhero could want. Heaps of awesome powers like flight and heat vision. He can even smell and hear better than Superman! He has an awesome costume and even his own secret identity, “Skip”.
In the Krypto the super dog cartoon, he teams up with Streaky the Supercat, which quite frankly I’m not sure I can forgive him for, however this series also features Ace the Bat-hound, so it’s not all bad! We also learned that Krypto will feature in the upcoming animated feature DC’s League of Super-Pets, voiced by Dwayne Johnson. I’m not sure who that is, but Mum sounded excited.
Last, but not least, the smartest, happiest, good dog on my list…. it’s Odie! Poor Odie lives with a fat horrible cat, who we will not name here. Once again, the poor deprived dog is not the title character. The cat in Odie’s home is quite frankly abusive and his owner is negligent by allowing the cat to be so mean to Odie.
Odie doesn’t care though. he takes all this in his stride and is always loving, positive and happy like all good dogs should be. He is the epitome of being the better man… I mean dog!
In conclusion, dogs are superior to cats, whether they are real dogs and animated ones. People should pick a side, you are either a cat person/awful human or you are a dog person/perfect person; stop sitting on the fence like a cat!!! There should also be more dog related media, as this would make the world a better place.
I want to talk about some Star Wars characters. Why? Because I find it fascinating that these characters no longer exist; if they ever really existed at all. Now you can raise your hand and confess to be a fan of Star Wars movies and that’s fine; so am I. However, what I’m going to be talking about are characters from the Star Wars Expanded Universe.1
Since Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi was released in 1983, there have been many stories continuing the adventures of Luke, Leia, Han and the rest of the gang. This has been through different media like novels, comic books, and video games; created and released by different companies, but all under the Lucasfilm licensing umbrella.
There have been decades of stories within the Star Wars universe, after the Return of the Jedi. Seriously, mountains of novels, comic books and video games; all expanding the mythos of Star Wars. Some highlights in the comics for me were Dark Empire, Dark Empire II, Empire’s End, Crimson Empire and Legacy.
There were also massive storylines within the novels of The New Jedi Order, Legacy of the Force and Fate of the Jedi, as well as introducing readers to survivors of the Great Jedi Purge, Grand Admiral Thrawn and the Yuuzhan Vong.
This changed in 2012, when Disney purchased Lucasfilm; which meant Disney owned Star Wars; which meant Disney had the ability to create new content, as well as erase content; for good or for ill.
The Star Wars Expanded Universe was about to change in a major way, because the way I understand it, there are two Star Wars universes now: Star Wars Canon and Star Wars Legends. The Star Wars Canon universe relates to all of the Star Wars movies (Episodes I-VI), but also the original content that Disney was creating, in the media of novels, comic books, video games and movies (Episodes VII-IX, plus Rogue One, Solo: A Star Wars Story) and television shows.
Star Wars Legends relates to the original content of novels, comic books and video games, that were published or released before the acquisition of Lucasfilm by Disney. Basically, what I’m trying very badly to say is that when Disney purchased Star Wars, they decided to start with a clean slate after Episode IV, by ignoring or not recognising previous storylines and characters, thus giving birth to Star Wars Canon (Disney) and Star Wars Legends (Not Disney).
Hopefully that makes sense. The idea about this blog post in particular, is to draw attention to the fact that I love Star Wars far too much; but also to address the point that some important characters in Star Wars Legends, no longer exist in Star Wars Canon. Namely six of them, though to be fair, there are many, many more.
These six Star Wars Legends characters, at least to me; are extremely important and are greatly missed in Disney’s new version of Star Wars. So, let’s crack on and see who makes the list! The six characters can be divided into two families: The Solos and the Skywalkers, so three from each family. I’ll try and keep these summaries short and sweet, though there are no guarantees.
The Solos:
Jaina Solo Fel
Jaina is the daughter of Han and Leia Organa Solo, twin sister to Jacen and older sister to Anakin. Because of her family’s connection to the Force, she was revealed to be Force-sensitive. Jaina was eventually sent to the Jedi Academy on Yavin IV, to be trained by her uncle, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker.
Over the years, Jaina became a formidable pilot and Jedi, taking the title of Sword of the Jedi, at her knighting ceremony, from her Uncle Luke. She fought in the Yuuzhan Vong War and also in the Second Galactic Civil War. It was during this time, that her twin brother Jacen, fell to the Dark Side and became Darth Caedus.
After committing some terrible crimes and trying to take over the galaxy, Darth Caedus was killed by Jaina in a lightsabre duel. Later on, Jaina married Jagged Fel, fought against a new Sith threat and Abeloth, fought against extremism within the New Republic and rose to the rank of Jedi Master.
So why is Jaina on this list? Jaina is what the epitome of what a good Jedi should be. She was tempted by the Dark Side, but she never fell to it; and she had the courage to stand up to her twin brother, when he fell to the Dark Side.
In a stretch, Rey from the sequel trilogy, could be described as Jaina; but like I said, it’s a stretch. For me, Jaina always strode to uphold the ideals of the Jedi, as well trying to put other people’s needs, before her own. Jaina also never wanted to split her allegiances between the Jedi Order and her love interest in Jagged Fel, though in time, she found a way to balance these emotions.
Jaina was an arse-kicker and a strong female character in the Star Wars mythos, so she remains greatly missed in the new Canon universe.
Jacen Solo
Jacen is the eldest son of Han and Leia Organa Solo, twin brother to Jaina and older brother to Anakin. Just like Jaina, he was Force-sensitive and sent to train with his Uncle Luke, at the Jedi Academy on Yavin IV.
Jacen became a Jedi knight and fought in the Yuuzhan Vong War, but was captured and tortured. During this time, he began to slip closer to the Dark Side, but returned to the Light Side. He escaped and helped bring about the fall of the Yuuzhan Vong Empire.
After this, Jacen spent some time traveling, but received a vision about a dark figure ruling the galaxy. Jacen took this threat seriously and after learning about his young daughter, Allana, he turned to the Dark Side to fulfil his destiny, as the apprentice to Lumiya, the Dark Lady of the Sith. It was here had became Darth Caedus.
As Darth Caedus, he murdered his Aunt Mara, tortured his cousin and committed numerous other crimes. In the end, Jacen was killed by Jaina, in a lightsabre duel, in order to save the galaxy.
There are many similarities between Jacen and Kylo Ren, and also with Anakin Skywalker. Like Anakin, Jacen tried to prevent something from happening, but only made it worse; and like Kylo Ren, Jacen was a child of Leia and Han. It’s interesting to point out, that all three characters are fallen heroes, but they all redeemed themselves before dying.
Witnessing Jacen falling to the Dark Side and becoming Darth Caedus, was like watching a car crash in slow motion, it was painful and sorrowful to see him transform and commit acts of evil. Though, I think that was the quality of the character; you had read about his birth and his childhood, so you felt some connection to him, because of the amount of time, you had spent with him.
Then to read about him becoming Darth Caedus, was a kick in the stomach; but I think that was the point. To care about a fictional character enough, that you hoped he could redeem himself in the next story. Jacen was an amazing character, because he reminded us, even heroes can lose their way; though they always find their way back.
Anakin Solo
Because of the way you are brought up, you are taught principles by your family. Those principles can turn into action, which in turn can have consequences. There is no greater example of this, than Anakin Solo. As well as you have already unraveled, Anakin Solo is the youngest child of Han and Leia Organa Solo and younger brother to Jaina and Jacen.
Because he was named after his paternal grandfather2, Anakin had a lot to live up to. Just like his siblings, he was revealed to be Force-sensitive and sent to the Jedi Academy with Uncle Luke. Anakin often feared he would fall to the Dark Side, just like his name sake.
When the Yuuzhan Vong invaded the galaxy, Chewbacca sacrificed his life to save Anakin. This created tension between Anakin and his father, because Han blamed Anakin for Chewbacca’s death, which they later resolved; but it planted the seed of Anakin trying to live up to Chewbacca’s sacrifice.
Since Anakin was a fierce Jedi knight and a great leader, he was involved in several missions against the Yuuzhan Vong. Among other factors, the Yuuzhan Vong then started targeting Jedi for attacks.
During the war, the Yuuzhan Vong started using creatures called Voxyn, which could track Jedi down through the Force. Jedi were being assassinated across the galaxy, which led Anakin to lead a mission to Myrkr, kill the Voxyn Queen.
During the mission, Anakin was badly wounded and fought off a group of Yuuzhan Vong, while the rest of his team escaped. He killed several Yuuzhan Vong, but ultimately, he was killed.
I think Anakin’s death was always destined, but it still was hard to accept, because just like his siblings, you had watched him grow up. Not having Anakin in the new Canon universe, some what lessens it, because of the huge, but short role he played as a hero. This however is counter balanced by his legacy and inspiring others to follow in his footsteps.
Jaina, Jacen and Anakin can not exist in the new Canon Star Wars universe, because in that version, Leia and Han only had one child: Ben Solo; and not three.
The Skywalkers:
Mara Jade Skywalker
Ok, we are half way there! The next entry is the first Skywalker on the list. Her name is Mara Jade Skywalker and she was Luke Skywalker’s wife and also mother to Ben Skywalker. Mara is an interesting character, since she has not always aligned herself with the Light Side of the Force, since she was Force-sensitive.
During the First Galactic Civil War, Mara worked as the Emperor’s Hand, which was a special operative that basically worked off the books and answered directly to the Emperor. Just before his death, Palpatine ordered Mara to kill Luke Skywalker, but instead she left.
Mara became a smuggler and eventually, she crossed paths with Luke. Over time and working together on different missions; as well as training at the Jedi Academy, they fell in love and were married. Mara was heavily involved in the Yuuzhan Vong War, after immersing herself within the Jedi Order.
She later became a mother to Ben, achieved the rank of Jedi Master and took on Jaina Solo as her apprentice. After the Yuuzhan Vong War ended, Mara continued to serve the galaxy, facing new threats. Mara also served in the Second Galactic Civil War and then hunting down Lumiya, the Dark Lady of the Sith.
When Mara discovered her nephew, Jacen had become Darth Caedus, she saw him not just as a threat to her family, but the entire galaxy. Because of this, she went and confronted him, where she was killed.
Mara was extremely loyal to her husband, son, the Jedi Order and the galaxy. She was such a bad arse, that because of her Imperial combat and weapons training, she had a set of skills other Jedi, simply did not have.
She was simply an outstanding character, especially for her redemption arc; which detailed her journey from the Dark Side to the Light. Her life was one of the highlights of the Legends universe and she is still greatly missed among fans.
Ben Skywalker
So we have looked at Luke’s wife, now let’s look at his son, Ben. He is obviously Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker’s son and cousin to Jaina, Jacen and Anakin. Also, if you haven’t figured it out yet, Ben is named after Obi-Wan (Ben) Kenobi, Luke’s first Jedi Master.
Growing up as a Skywalker, was not easy; especially when your father was the famous Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. Ben was born during the Yuuzhan Vong War and because his parents were fighting them, he spent a large amount of time with his Aunty Leia and Uncle Han.
Because he was a Skywalker, he was Force-sensitive, but he closed himself off to the Force during the conflict. When he was studying under his cousin Jacen, he started to learn how to open himself up to the Force.
As time went by, Ben grew into a very capable Jedi knight and had to deal with Jacen’s transformation to Darth Caedus, as well as his mother’s murder. Year later, Luke was exiled from Coruscant, because he failed to prevent Darth Caedus from rising. Because of this, Luke and Ben started to investigate why Jacen turned to the Dark Side, in addition to fight against a backlash of public anger at the Jedi.
Along the way, Ben discovered a long lost tribe of the Sith, hidden away for centuries; fight a powerful Force-powered creature called Abeloth; and fell in love with Vestara Khai, a Sith apprentice
In the new Canon universe, we have Ben Solo; although he is more based on Jacen, than Ben Skywalker. I miss Ben, because it was fascinating to read about Ben’s journey and connection with the Force. To me, he was very observant, compassionate, loyal, intelligent and helped to build bridges with people and relationships. He even taught his parents things that were not Force related. He was a very relatable and positive character.
Cade Skywalker
Cade Skywalker is an unique entry on this list. To the best of my ability, I believe he is the only one whose first appearance was in a comic book, Star Wars: Legacy and not a novel. Star Wars: Legacy was set 137 years after the Battle of Yavin aka 137 ABY, so this allowed the creators a lot more room to build new worlds and characters.
Cade is Ben Skywalker’s grandson, though he would be visited/lectured by his great-grandfather, Luke Skywalker as a Force-spirit. Cade was raised in the Jedi Order, but one day, the order was attacked by the newly forged One Sith; which was a new Sith Order. Cade’s father, Kol was killed in the attack, so Cade turned his back on the Jedi. Eventually he became a bounty hunter and pirate with his crew, on his ship the Mynock.
The galaxy was ruled by the Sith Lord, Darth Krayt and because of various connected storylines, Cade is somewhat put on a collision course with him and the rest of the other Sith lords. There is a lot more to Cade’s story and his misadventures with Legacy, but I really want to focus on Cade himself.
Cade’s an unique character, because he can walk dangerous close to the Dark Side, but has no desire or intention to ever crave its power. He is an extremely power Force user, displaying abilities that are truly amazing and surreal.
Cade had left the Jedi and Sith behind in his old life and really didn’t want to be dragged into galactic politics; he just wanted the free and easy life. But, as some of the characters on this list discovered, that if you have the ability to fight for the powerless, to stand against evil, then it’s something you have to do, even it’s at the bottom of your list. That’s Cade.
I really enjoyed this era of Star Wars, because the Empire has began benevolent; the One Sith Order were the most dangerous and remarkable group of Sith, you had ever seen; Imperial knights had white lightsabres; and Cade, the heir to the Skywalker name, walked the path between the Light and Dark Sides of the Force.
Although one thing was certain, you would find it difficult to locate anybody that hated the Sith more than Cade Skywalker.
The reasons Mara Jade, Ben and Cade, no longer exist in the new Canon universe, is because Luke never married; so he never met Mara, so Ben was never born; thus Cade was never born.
Whether you are a fan of Legends or the new Canon universe; or maybe both of them, Jaina, Jacen, Anakin, Mara Jade, Ben and Cade are beloved characters that sadly, we will never get to read any new adventures about them.3
The great thing is, if you miss them enough, you can just visit the book shelf or comic book collection to see them again. They will be waiting for you like old friends, in a galaxy far, far away.
May the Force be with you and I’ll see you next week!
1 My youngest son is named after a Jedi, so I love the Star Wars Expanded Universe.
Welcome to part two of my fantasy adaptations! My last blog post was about properties that I would to like to see adapted into movies, so this version is about my fantasy television adaptations list. I hope someone out there agrees with me, with at least one of the entries on the list.
A Short History of Nearly Everything: Live action/animated over 1-3 seasons
This the first and only entry on the list that is a non-fiction property. A Short History of Nearly Everything was written by Bill Bryson and published in 2003. The book is about popular science, with Bryson unhappy with his own scientific knowledge, so he researched different fields of science and described them, to make scientific information more accessible. I love this book!
How should A Short History of Nearly Everything be adapted?
Unlike the other entries on this list, I feel this television show needs to be narrated and hosted by someone. Each episode would involve the host talking about biology, physics or chemistry or whatever subject that needs to be discussed.
The episodes could be about the origins of each scientific field, as well as how we know various things about that scientific field. Using a blend of live action and animated clips to adapt the book and explain the chapters, would be excellent. If you have seen Cosmos by the late great Carl Sagan or Neil deGrasse Tyson, you’re understand what I’m talking about.
Why should A Short History of Nearly Everything be adapted?
In my small and humble opinion, Bryson has done an amazing job at communicating scientific information in a fun and entertaining way. It’s engaging and funny, but at the same time, extremely insightful and relevant.
The book breaks down difficult concepts so people can get a taste of the subject, so I feel the television show would do exactly the same. I can’t rate this book highly enough for it’s purpose, so making a television show about understanding and explaining science to adults, would be a no-brainer.
Television show:
The Silmarillion: Live action over multiple seasons
Now for those of you out there in pop culture land, you could be familiar with J.R.R. Tolkien’s literature on Middle-Earth. The most famous of his huge volume of work would be The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. However, I want to discuss the novel that every fan says they are going to read, but never do: The Silmarillion.
The Silmarillion was released in 1977 and details the history of Arda. This involves focusing on the creation of Arda by Ilúvatar; the creation of the Ainur, Valar, Maiar, Elves, Dwarves, Men and other races; the Two Lamps; the Two Trees; the Silmarils; the many, many wars; Sauron and of course, the rise of Morgoth; throughout the First, Second and Third Ages of the Sun.
How should The Silmarillionbe adapted?
Because of the massive amount of content and the timeline of events, a trilogy of films would be unwise. Adapting The Silmarillion into a live action television show over multiple seasons, would allow viewers to connect and fall in love with characters over the years.
Plus, I can’t be the only one that wants to see the OG himself, Morgoth, walking around in his horrific glory, as well as watching Sauron grow into his power. Because no matter how bad or evil you think Sauron is, Morgoth is worse. He is the worst.
Why should The Silmarillion be adapted?
This brings up an interesting point, because Amazon Prime Video are producing a Lord of the Rings television show; what I have called the Middle Earth tv show. From what I understand, it’s set in the Second Age of the Sun, which is still thousands of years before The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings.
Now I have no idea what is in this show, but my hopes remain high that they will be using the Silmarillion as the basis for the plot. Although they could do whatever they really want, I guess. My hope is that The Silmarillion will in fact be faithfully adapted, under the guise of this show.
To see Túrin and Niënor; Glaurung; Lúthien and Beren; the fall of Gondolin; Ungoliant; Angband and Morgoth; along with all of the massive family trees of the Elves and Dwarves; would truly be worthy of the word epic.
Television show:
The Danilov Quintet: Live action over 5 seasons
This the first entry where there are multiple books to be adapted. The Danilov Quinet are a series of five books, written by Jasper Kent. The books are called Twelve; Thirteen Years Later; The Third Section; The People’s Will; and The Last Rite.
The central characters in the series change, because it’s a generational story involving one family: The Danilovs and their blood line. Their role in the series is to protect Russia from…well, vampires.
How should The Danilov Quinetbe adapted?
I think a television show would be the best, because each book covers a different time period in Russian history: 1812, 1825, 1855, 1881 and 1917. Each television season, could focus on one book; for an example, the first season would adapt the first book, set in 1812. The second season would adapt the second book, set in 1825.
That way the viewer can see the progression of time, as well as having the adults actors age through make up or CGI; though some actors can be recast, because you met them as children, then adults. I do need to point out, it’s important that some actors don’t change, because…well, they’re vampires.
Why should The Danilov Quinet be adapted?
They are two things that I love about this series. The first is the location and era. The series take place in Russia, dating from the French invasion of 1812 to the Russian Revolution in 1917. I love this perspective, because Russian history was something I only knew a little about; but these books changed that for me.
Meeting different historic characters, as well as setting the backdrop for over 100 years of Russian history, provided me with amazing information, about Russian events, but also customs and culture. I came away with a healthier knowledge of the Russian nation.
The second thing that I love about this series, is the use of vampires. My wife loves the TwilightSaga, but the vampires in The Danilov Quinet are quite different. With these vampires, if one of them bites or kills you, you don’t become a vampire. You’re just dead.
In this series, to became a vampire, you need to be turned by another vampire. A vampire needs to bite you and drink some of your blood, then you need drink their blood. Once that is done, you need to die, then and only then, can you be reborn as a vampire.
I like this explanation, because whenever I hear of vampires in pop culture, that when you are bitten or killed by one, you are reborn as a vampire. To me, it means that vampirism is a disease, that converts anybody it touches…so shouldn’t everybody would be a vampire, because it’s like a plague with no cure? It would destroy the entire population.
In Kent’s literary world, that does not happen, so his vampires are more believable. To become a vampire, you must choose to become one. They are immortal and stay in the shadows, so not to draw attention to themselves. This makes them even more dangerous, because they have an agenda and they plan to see it through. This series needs to be adapted.
Television show:
Fire of Heaven/Husk: Live action over multiple seasons
I’ll admit to a little bias over this entry, because it was written by a fellow New Zealander. Russell Kirkpatrick wrote the Fire of Heaven/Husk fantasy series, which are actually made up of two trilogies.
The first trilogy (Fire of Heaven) contains Across the Face of the World; In the Earth Abides the Flame; and The Right Hand of God. The Husk trilogy is made up of Path of Revenge; Dark Heart; and Beyond the Wall of Time.
The saga is set within The Sixteen Kingdoms of Faltha, where a family/company has obtained vital information about the The Undying Man, the Immortal Destroyer. He is planning to invade and conquer the Sixteen Kingdoms, but only if the family fails to reach the capital and warn everybody.
How should Fire of Heaven/Husk be adapted?
Just like The Danilov Quinet, I believe adapting each book into a season of a television show, would be perfect. You would have time to introduce characters and flesh them out; as well as exploring new lands and customs, so you can connect and relate to the show as the viewer.
Added to the fact that Kirkpatrick has a Phd in Geography, each book has sensational detailed maps. These maps could show the viewer where the characters are at the moment, to give you perspective on the larger world and how the different characters fit into it.
Why should Fire of Heaven/Husk be adapted?
I love a convincing fantasy series and Fire of Heaven/Husk are just marvelous. From the detailed maps to the origins and status of the Undying Man to scale of the story, it’s just amazing. Just like Morgoth’s stronghold of Angband, I really want to the Undying Man’s stronghold of Adunlok, in Bhrudwo.
It’s just the scale of the series, that demands it to be adapted. Damn, it’s good; especially the battle tactics and the relationships within the different companies, as to their commitment to stopping the Immortal Destroyer and also Husk. I don’t know if it’s popular enough to be adapted, but it just has do; and viewers would be right there with them on their quests.
Television show:
The Dark Tower: Live action over multiple seasons
The Dark Tower series has been described as Stephen King’s magnum opus. It is epic. It spans eight novels and sixteen comic trades, as well as a feature film.
The story centres around Roland Deschain, who is the last in a line of gunslingers (knights). His mission, is to reach the Dark Tower for different reasons. Along the way, he has a Ka-tet (group) of companions that aide and assist him on his quest, fighting against the machinations of the Man in Black and the Crimson King.
The story is also told out of chronological order, because the fourth book is basically one huge flashback; while the comics tell the story in chronological order. With the books, you first meet Roland as an adult; but in the comics, you first meet him as a teenager. The comics also fill in gaps in the original story, but also adapting the novels as well.
How should The Dark Tower be adapted?
In 2017, a feature film called The Dark Tower was released, based on King’s work. It did not receive positive reviews and was panned by many critics and fans. I think it’s because, how do you cram eight books worth of characters, events and plot into 95 minutes of film? The answer is that you can’t.
Because of this, a television show would the perfect vehicle to reintroduce the story to the world. Setting it over several years, would give you the time and resources to correctly adapt The Dark Tower. I mean, is it just me or do you really want to see a Thinny or Blaine the Mono?
Why should The Dark Tower be adapted?
The reason The Dark Tower needs to be adapted again, is because it’s needs another chance for viewers to fall in love with it. The thing about The Dark Tower is that it connects King’s different works together; like a multiverse crossover.
The story is so long and vast, a single 95 minute film, can not explore Mid-World and it’s surrounding worlds. Now there was going to be a Dark Tower television show, but the way I understand it, it has been scrapped. This is sad, however, it just means someone else can step up and make the greatest genre spanning television show in history.
Show us Eddie, Susannah and more of Jake. Show us the Fall of Gilead. Show us the Battle of Tull. Show us the Lobstrosities. Show us the Crimson King. Show us Mordred, because he is a-hungry; but ultimately, show us the coolest character in the entire saga: show us Oy. Whomever can make this a reality, will have remembered the face of their mother or father.
Television show:
Black Science: Animated over multiple seasons
Black Science was a comic book series, created by Rick Remender and Matteo Scalera. It was released by Image Comics and it ran from 2013-2019, covering 43 issues.
The storyline is about a group of scientists that create a machine called “The Pillar“, that can punch holes through reality and into other dimension/parallel worlds. The scientists then have to survive each world and to try and return to their home world, because utter carnage is being spread across the Eververse, because of their misadventures.
How should Black Science be adapted?
I feel Matteo’s art work is quite distinct and mind blowing, that the only way it could be done justice, if the show was animated. The characters and settings would be easy to transfer from the page to the screen, because of how amazing Matteo’s art is.
The reality and cost of recreating the art work in real life, would be a nightmare, so animation would be the best option. Also having Invincible pave the way, for an adult animation comic book property, basically sets up the show.
Why should Black Science be adapted?
Well, where do I start? From Remender’s writing to Matteo’s art, this series is begging to brought to the unconverted. From the responsibilities of being a parent and spouse; to the relationships of work mates and children; to the power of guilt and regret; to forging your own path, at the cost of others; Black Science is a sci-fi masterpiece.
Seriously, imagine watching Grant McKay and his gang of Anarchistic Order of Scientists, creating problems faster than they can fix them, would be astounding. Also the Dralyn, are some of the most terrifying creatures to be created in the last 10 years. They are pure nightmare fuel. Prepare to be liberated!
Television show:
Judge Dredd: Live action over multiple seasons
Judge Dredd. What can I say about the ultimate lawman, that has not already been said before. Judge Dreed debuted in the British weekly comic, 2000AD in March 1977 and was created by John Wagner and Carlos Ezquer. Dredd lives in a dystopian city called Mega-City One. This city stretches from along the Eastern seaboard of North America and has an unemployment rate of over 90%.
Dredd is a street judge, a special type of law enforcement officer that can act as judge, jury and executioner. Criminals can be tried at the scene of a crime, as well as being sentenced. The toughest of these Judges is Joseph “Joe” Dredd: Judge Dredd. Armed with his Lawmaster (motorcycle) and Lawgiver (firearm), he is not someone to mess with.
How should Judge Dredd be adapted?
Alright, before we move on, let’s address the two elephants in the room. Judge Dredd has already been adapted into two feature films: Judge Dredd with Sylvester Stallone(1995) and Dredd with Karl Urban (2012). I’m not going to talk about these films, however if you have not seen Urban’s Dredd, it is amazing. Really, do yourself a favour and go and watch it. It will convert anybody!
Anyway, I want you to imagine something. Imagine some perps sitting around in their Block apartment, when the door gets kicked in and Dredd enters, kicking arse and taking names. Now picture that amazing scene and imagine witnessing it every week in a television episode!
The show would be extremely violent, but that’s the world Dredd lives in. The producers could adapt different storylines from the comics, as well as create some original content. Just think about it, every week, you could see Judge Dredd sentencing someone to the iso-cubes or sending them to Resyk.
Why should Judge Dredd be adapted?
From what I understand, there are plans to bring a Judge Dredd television show to life; it’s just whether it will become a reality or not. It would great if it did, because I’m a Judge Dredd fan. I’m not an expert, but I am a fan.
I just feel having a Judge Dredd television show executed1in the right way, would make explosive and entertaining television. It really would. I mean, it’s Judge Dredd for Drokk’s sake!
Also the show could reveal the origin of the Judges, Judges from other countries, more of Judge Anderson; but also introduce the Dark Judges. Come on, you knew that coming didn’t you? Imagine seeing a live action version of Judge Fire, Judge Mortis, Judge Fear or even, Judge Death. Seriously, just imagine it!
The show could also bring up questions about equality, freedom, civil rights, justice, prison reform and democracy. My only concern is that whether it’s Urban playing Dredd or someone else, they would need to keep the helmet on. The reason is that, it does not matter what Dredd looks like under the helmet, because the helmet signifies the law and Judge Dredd is the law.
Television show:
East of West: Live action over multiple seasons
East of West is an other property that spans different genres. It was a monthly comic book series and it released by Image Comics. It ran from 2013-2019, covering 45 issues, plus one special. It was also created by Jonathan Hickman and Nick Dragotta.
East of West is set in an alternative version of the United States of America, where the country is actually divided into seven different nations. This is known as “The Seven Nations of America” and it consists of The Union, The Confederacy, The Kingdom of New Orleans, The Endless Nation, The Republic of Texas, The People’s Republic of America (PRA) and The Armistice.
It basically centres on two groups of people: one group is trying to bring about the end of the world, by enlisting the help of the Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse. The other group which includes Death, are trying to stop them. Also Death’s son, Babylon, was kidnapped and trained to be the Beast of the Apocalypse, which his old man is not exactly pleased about.
How should East of West be adapted?
This is an easy option, because it’s quite obvious. Like many of the entries on this list, a television show would flesh out characters like Death, War, Famine, Conquest, President Chamberlain and so many others.
I feel the show should be live action over animated like Invincible or Black Science, because as a fan of the comic book, I feel the costumes, set designs and prop development, like in the Endless Nation and PRA; would raise the bar for television shows and their production.
I also feel using live actors would cement the connection with the viewer, because the stakes in this world, keep getting higher and higher. You could really immerse yourself in the different nations, not unlike the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros in Game of Thrones.
Why should East of West be adapted?
Seriously, have you not read it? Why wouldn’t you? It’s amazing! The fact that the American Civil War did not end in 1865, but actually in 1908, gives you more than enough reasons to be interested in this tv show.
You have different themes running through it like power and control, with Presidents Chamberlain and LeVay; justice with the Ranger; regret with Bel Solomon; ambition with John Freeman I; revenge with the Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse; faith with Ezra; duty with Wolf; and family with Death. It’s very strong storytelling.
For me, I would love to see Babylon and Balloon, walking across the land; the Endless Nation and their insane machines; Death and his death givers aka his twin guns; the Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse for…well, being themselves; the Oracle and her creepy eyes; and The Ranger and his dog.
Though one character remains to be discussed and she would become a new female arse kicking icon ; the Bride of Death, Mao Xiaolian, the Premier of the People’s Republic of America; and Babylon’s mother.
I want to see Mao in her red armour, with the Dragons and Widow Makers at her back, pledging two things: ordering Death to locate their missing son and return him; and the second would be Mao swearing to honour her enemies’ death wishes. Her enemies want to die, so she will march with her army and grant them that wish.
Can you imagine how invested people would be with this show?!
Alright, that’s it. If any of the comic books or novels that I have mentioned, ever get adapted into movies or television shows, can I please ask the producers to add my name to the credits? Please? Also, if you have not read any of them, please do so, because they are worth it.
Now I have a full time job, which requires me to take work home, every day. Because of this, I have tried to write a blog post every two weeks, so I have the time to do both things. The problem is, I have been looking at other bloggers’ volume of work and it puts me to shame.
So starting next week, I am going to try and write a blog post once a week. I don’t know if this will work, but if people are willing to read my tiny blog, then I’ll give it a crack.
I want to talk about adaptations, in particular, screen adaptations. Why? Because they seem to be all the rage at the moment, whether it’s a movie or television show. There are many film production studios and streaming services, snapping up the rights to a lot of comic books and novels, so they can turn a dollar or two, or maybe hundred of thousands!
Now, I am not against this, because I’m a pop culture fan, so I’m always interested in what the next content is going to be adapted into. The problem is not every adaptation works, whether for film or television. This could because it’s the wrong medium, the acting, CGI, the plot and the list can go on. Equally there are adaptations that do work; again for different reasons, which inspired me to have go at creating my own lists.
So I’m going to pretend that I’m a film/tv producer and that I have a vast amount of money behind me, so I would invest in these properties and adapt them into either a movie or a television show.
Before I go on, I need to point something out. I’m interested in a lot of adaptations at the moment, whether they have already been made, currently in production or pre-production. I have seen a lot of different movie and television adaptations, which have been based on comics and novels, that I have read and love.
However, my lists will only be looking at properties that do not exist in any adaptation form; to the best of my knowledge. Having said that, there are a few exceptions, which I will explain.
I have decided to split them into two lists; one for movies and one for television. My television list is quite large, so that blog post will be separate from this one. The following list are properties that I love so much, that I would love for them to be adapted into movies.
Ok, let’s crack on with my fantasy adaptation movie list!
We3 was a comic book mini-series, covering three issues in 2004. They were released by Vertigo and created by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely.
The story centres on three animals; a dog, a cat and a rabbit, that have been converted by the military, to become a prototype of cyber-soldiers or animal weapons. The animals were taken and given body armour, razor claws and a mine delivery system. The animals also have cyber implants, that allows them to speak and converse with each other and people.
How should We3 be adapted?
The medium should be a film, because the original content was only three issues; so turning three comic books into 80-100 minutes of entertainment, would not be that difficult. Also having the animals be CGI or motion capture acting would work; plus watching Bandit, Tinker and Pirate kick some arse, would be amazing! Plus, it’s written by Grant Morrison, so why wouldn’t you?
Why should We3 be adapted?
The mini-series raises some great ethnic questions over the future of warfare, but also the treatment of animals. As the dominant species on this planet, do we have the right to do, whatever we see fit to other life forms, in order to help us; or as the dominant species on this planet, do we have the moral obligation to protect and safe guard other life forms that we share this planet with? Watch the film and make your own mind up!
James Gunn has expressed an interest in the project, but who knows what will happen!
Movie:
RoboCop: Purgatory: Live action
The storyline to be adapted here, is from the comic book series, RoboCop #12-15. The series was released by Marvel in 1991 and I found it to be very powerful. I think the storyline was called “Purgatory” and it was created by Simon Furman and Lee Sullivan.
How should RoboCop: Purgatory be adapted?
Hey, we all know RoboCop’s story; he’s part man, part machine, all cop! That being the case, this adaptation needs to join the others as a feature film. It would have to be live action of course, mixed with CGI; though to be fair, it seems CGI is everywhere in motion pictures now.
Why should RoboCop: Purgatory be adapted?
I feel this storyline needs to be adapted, because it has RoboCop kicking all different kinds of arse, but it also reveals a secret: OCP are mass producing RoboCops in a off-the-books factory. RoboCop remembers his life as Alex Murphy and has to wrestle with the choice over what to do about the factory; but also about the hundreds of people being transformed into cyborgs.
I found it very powerful, because it allowed the reader to understand RoboCop’s desire to break the law, to serve the greater good and the ramifications that come with it. As a viewer, you could be there with him, as he makes a life changing choice. What’s more important? Obeying and following the law or doing the right thing? Just like in real life, these concepts are often two different things, which crosses into a blurry grey area.
Movie:
The Water Dancer: Live action
This is the first and last novel on this list. The Water Dancer was written by Ta-Nehisi Coates and was first published in 2019. The story focuses on a man named Hiram Walker, who was born into slavery in the American South, prior to the Civil War. Hiram possesses two rare abilities: one is a photographic memory, while the other is superhuman.
How should The Water Dancer be adapted?
I think like any stand alone novel, a movie would be the best idea. You have the time and budget to research the time period for The Water Dancer; covering the costumes, sets and language. Also for the viewer to witness Hiram’s ability, would be far suited to the medium of a motion picture, rather than a television show.
Why should The Water Dancer be adapted?
There are a few reasons why I feel The Water Dancer needs to be adapted, however they are same reasons as why I liked the book in the first place. It raises some amazing themes about race, identity, home, freedom, heritage, legacy and power, among others.
Though to be fair, for me; it can be broken down to three main concepts: the utter inhumane practice of slavery; the lives of the slaves, like their hopes and dreams; and having the protagonist as a superpowered slave was a master stroke. Hiram’s ability is pure life saving, in every possible way.
Even though I’m a Pakeha male from New Zealand, I always like learning about other countries’ histories, because it allows me to understand the issues and problems that can still affect that country today.
I think this was also my first fictional book about American slavery, so The Water Dancer helped me learn about new things, but also to get me to think about concepts, that I had never pondered before. That book has not left me and I feel the film would have the same result for viewers; because they’re going home.
Movie:
Kingdom Come:Animated
This is an interesting one. Kingdom Come was a four issue comic book mini-series, released in 1996. It was created by Mark Waid and Alex Ross; and was published by DC Comics.
This tale is set in the future, 10 years after Superman retires from the public eye, along with other superheroes. In their place, a new generation of superheroes are guarding and protecting the world, but they could be creating more problems, than they are solving.
How should Kingdom Come be adapted?
Alright, this is easy, because if you have actually read the series, then you have actually seen it. I had never heard of the artist, Alex Ross, before Kingdom Come. After Kingdom Come…well, damn. The art work in this series are hyper-realistic paintings and it’s still amazing after 25 years.
If this property is ever adapted, it must be an animated movie; however the animation must be based on Ross’ work. It must. It’s that simple, because an animated movie it would be the perfect medium for the viewer to soak in the visual glory of the project.
Why should Kingdom Come be adapted?
People have already seen cameos of Kingdom Come in movies and television shows. In Wonder Woman 1984, Diana’s golden armour, seen in the 3rd act, is based on her armour seen in Kingdom Come.
Also with the Crisis on Infinite Earths storyline from the Arrowverse, Brandon Routh’s Superman and Kevin Conroy’s Batman, are directly modeled after their counterparts on Kingdom Come; as in their backstory and costume.
In saying that, the actual series had not been adapted, but by Rao, it needs to.1
From Waid’s writing to Ross’ art to a disconnected Clark to a broken Bruce, Kingdom Come is just phenomenal. It looks at the relationships of the characters and what they mean to each other; as well as to the reader/viewer. The series also examines the co-existence nature of humans and meta-humans, with a religious angle to add perspective.
I also need to mention, Kingdom Come has the most amazing and dangerous version of Captain Marvel/Shazam! I have ever seen!2 Viewers would be blown away with an animated movie of Kingdom Come, just as I was when I read the series.
Movie:
Hamilton: Live action/Musical
You probably already know this, but Hamilton is a musical, which crosses several different musical genres. It’s based on the life of Alexander Hamilton, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America and it’s written and composed by Lin-Manuel Miranda. Hamilton has been performed across America and other countries, to great critical acclaim.
Why do I want to see an adapted movie of Hamilton?
That is a fair question and it’s easy answer: I’m being selfish. Let me explain.
I have not seen Hamilton. To the best of my knowledge, I have no idea if or when Hamilton would ever tour New Zealand.3 However, being a lover of history, I want to see it, even though I’m not a massive fan of musicals. It’s a trade off; being educated vs being tortured.
Now I realise that a Hamilton movie exists and was released in 2020. I also know that the movie consists of three filmed stage performances, that have been edited together. The problem is that it’s on Disney+, which we don’t have.
Because Hamilton is not coming to New Zealand any time soon and the fact we don’t have Disney+, a cinematic film (even with the singing) of Hamilton would be amazing and it would be the only way I could access it. Sorry, I know it’s selfish, but hey…I have to see it somehow.
Movie:
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Live action
If you have never heard of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, well here’s your chance to learn something. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is a play, based on a story written by J.K. Rowling, John Tiffany and Jack Throne. The play was written by Jack Throne and the script edition was published and released in 2016. The play has been performed in various countries around the world, to critical acclaim.
The play is set 19 years after the end of the 7th book, with Harry working at the Ministry of Magic and his son, Albus, attending Hogwarts.
Why do I want to see an adapted movie of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child?
I have read all of the Harry Potter books, as well seen the films. However, I have not seen Harry Potter and the Cursed Child; but I have read the scripted edition.
Just like Hamilton, I have no idea if or when Harry Potter and the Cursed Child would ever tour New Zealand. This being the case, a live action film would be the best and only way for millions of fans to witness the next chapter in the Harry Potter saga; even if they will never get to see the play; just like me.
That’s it for now. The next blog post will be the second part, where I’ll be covering television adaptations I’d like to see.
Thanks for reading and see you in a fortnight!
1 Who can get this reference?
2 Now before you start laughing at my error of referring to Captain Marvel as a DC character and not a Marvel character, please know your comic book history.
3Let’s face it, if Hamilton ever came to New Zealand, it would only be staged in Auckland. This is a problem, because I live in a small town.
SOME GEEK TOLD ME 
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