Food and Prejudice: Volume 1

On February 12, 2024December 1, 2024 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Food, People

If you’re a long-time reader of this wildly inconsistent blog, then you must have known that this post was coming. At some point, this blog was going to appear; and just like Thanos, it was inevitable.

I try to write about entertaining things on New Zealand’s 5th least favourite website, but also things that interest me, as well as world events; whether they’re positive or negative. Since you would have already used your amazing powers of observational deduction; that would have impressed the residents of 221B Baker Street, that this post will not exactly be positive.

I enjoy eating food, mainly because it helps me to live, but also because of the fantastic tastes and flavours. However, as you can imagine, I don’t love everything. There are some foods that I dislike so much, that I’m prejudiced against them.

I know, I’m not a perfect person, because I’m not Chuck Norris. This was because I was participating in a very dangerous activity the other day; I was having an independent thought. This strange event caused me to decide to talk about some of my food grievances. There are only three foods that have made the list for this volume, but I promise you, there will be more volumes.

Without dragging this out like a villain’s monologue, let’s dive into Food and Prejudice: Volume 1!

Sour Cream and Chives

I have been waffling on about this for some time now, but for anybody new, I’ll explain: I hate Sour Cream and Chives. I hate it. This covers chips, crisps, sauces, crackers, dips, rice cakes, and anything else that this abomination of humanity has spread to. It’s disgusting and I’m positive that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, wear it as cologne.

I just don’t understand the point of this flavour existing, when someone could have Salt and Vinegar, Barbeque, or Chicken instead. It’s like some company had a focus group, and they discovered that the public disliked certain flavours. Then the overpaid executives started talking:

“Hey, instead of never using chives or sour cream with any of our products, let’s add them together!”

“That would be amazing!”

“I have a good feeling that some guy in New Zealand would love it.”

“Instead of calling it, “Demon’s Arse Breath”, let’s call it “Sour Cream and Chives!”

After reading this, I’m pretty confident that’s how it actually happened. In my experience, smelling Sour Cream and Chives, makes my face look like I had witnessed the All Blacks losing to Japan, 75-0. Tasting Sour Cream and Chives is like if I was one of the All Blacks that had lost 75-0 to Japan.

People adding awful things like Sour Cream and Chives together is like adding climate change data to tax forms. They both suck independently, but now, you have just made things worse. That flavour really is awful.¹

I hate Sour Cream and Chives.

Corn

Because we’ve been together for some time now, I’ll make a confession. As you know, I hate Sour Cream and Chives. I loathe it. However, whatever I feel about Sour Cream and Chives, falls at the altar of despair over what I feel about Corn.

It’s like I’m the hero, and Sour Cream and Chives is Lex Luthor, The Joker, Doctor Doom, or the Green Goblin; aka your greatest enemy or arch nemesis. You deal with your arch nemesis quite often; even daily sometimes. They are your enemy like you are theirs. You are doomed to dance together forever, and even in death, you will never be free of them.

But not all villains or enemies can be your greatest. Some villains don’t just desire your demise, they want to destroy everything. This is because they are your most dangerous enemy. Think of Doomsday, Ra’s al Ghul, Galactus, or Carnage; basically if one of these villains turns up, you need to stop what you’re doing, because shit just got real.

As for me, my most dangerous enemy is Corn. If Corn turns up, things have escalated extremely quickly. Corn wrecks everything it touches, apart from corn chips.

I’m serious about Corn so much, that I spell it with an uppercase letter. It’s not corn, but Corn!! If I’m eating a pie and Corn reveals itself, I will stop eating and ask one simple question, “Why in the nine levels of Dante’s Hell, is there Corn in my pie?!”

If I’m eating a particular soup and Corn ambushes me, my response is clear. “Who is the smooth-brained mouth breather, that put Corn in this?!”

I’m not ashamed to admit this, I can’t handle Corn. I just can’t do it. Corn chips are easy, and I love them; but Corn…

I can’t even handle the smell of it, let alone the taste. As soon as I smell that yellow putrid odour, I start gagging. As for the taste; if Sour Cream and Chives taste like Demon’s Arse Breath, then Corn tastes like regurgitated Zombie Dung Beetle vomit.

Even as a boy, I knew the dangers of Corn. Growing up, my family had fallen under its repulsive influence, but not me. I’m a survivor. I spent my life checking foods and beverages for Corn, but also visiting other countries and discovering that Corn can hide itself in things you had never heard or thought of.

Whether it’s tragic irony or poetic justice, my wife loves Corn. I knew this about her before we married, but I married her anyway. Nobody is perfect, although I do have a rule with her though; the lips that have immediately touched Corn, will not touch mine.

I hate Corn.

Beetroot

I don’t want to give people the impression that I don’t eat vegetables, because that’s not true. I just don’t eat all vegetables. Case in point, may I present beetroot. It’s a stupid name for a stupid vegetable.

I’m not prejudiced against beetroot to the same extent as Sour Cream and Chives or Corn, but I still hate it. Yes, I know beetroot have many health benefits, as well as being part of a staple diet in many countries, but like I said before, I still hate it.

For me, I find beetroot’s taste and texture to be quite slimy, so I’m not sure whether anybody agrees with me on this. If I find beetroot in or on my food, I treat it with a mild level of disdain and remove it as quickly as possible, without drawing too much attention to it.

This of course is a mote point, if the beetroot has stained the surrounding food with that reddish/purplish colour. It’s like the beetroot has bled everywhere on purpose, just to make you go hungry, knowing you won’t eat that food now. In my humble opinion, that’s quite petty and vindictive.

Beetroot is not dangerous, it’s just gross, sad, and annoying.

I hate beetroot.

Do you agree with any of my food prejudices? What are yours? As always, please let me know.

It’s been a busy week. Qatar won the Asian Cup for the second time, Ivory Coast won the African Cup of Nations for the third time, and the Kansas City Chiefs won the Super Bowl for the fourth time. Nice.

That’s it for another blog and another week. Thank you once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. I’m also on X and Mastodon if you want to complain about me. Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, watch out for dodgy cats, and I’ll see you next week.

^1.)My wife walked in and read this, so she asked me to include the fact that she, the dog, UMC1 and UMC2 all love Sour Cream and Chives. Apparently, I’m the only sensible one in the family.

What can you buy with US$88.3 million?

On February 5, 2024February 12, 2024 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn People

For this week’s rant, I would like to talk about money; in particular, US$88.3 million. You may be asking yourself, “Scott, that’s a precise amount of money you’re mentioning, what’s going on?”

That’s very perceptive of you to notice, ka pai! If you haven’t already heard, you may need to sit down for this. Donald J. Trump, everybody’s favourite ex-president, was involved in a second defamation lawsuit brought against him by E. Jean Carroll.

Trump had previously been found guilty, of defaming and sexually abusing Carroll, in May 2023. This resulted in Trump having to pay $5 million to Carroll in damages.

Fast forward to the second defamation lawsuit, where on 26th January 2024, a jury of his peers assessed the trial and handed him two fines, $18.3 million in compensatory damages and $65 million in punitive damages, to be paid to Carroll. There are a lot of other factors in these two cases, but the crux of it is this: the court had awarded Carroll $88.3 million in damages, and Trump is legally required to pay it.

I’m aware that Trump is appealling the decision, but I really want to talk that figure: $88.3 million. To me, that number is an astronomical amount for a single person to pay. It’s more money than a huge percentage of the world’s population would ever see or earn.

Which brings us to the question; what can you buy with $88.3 million?

I realise that the US currency is not the only currency that exists in the world, I mean New Zealand uses polymer Monopoly-type bank notes. That being the case, the fines were in US currency, so that’s the currency I’ll be using.

Before I start, I need to add three points:

1.) Any conversion of foreign currency will be accurate at the time of writing this blog.

2.) The price of any shares will be accurate at the time of writing this blog.

3.) Some suggestions will have a price tag, others will be donating to charities or organisations.

Awesome, let’s put on our imagination hats and on behalf of E. Jean Carroll, let’s spend $88.3 million on things that Trump would love.

Price Tag:

Diamond Life Membership to the NAACP: $2,500

Membership to the AAPIP: $300 per year

100,000 Pfizer shares at $26.93: $2,693,000

World Vision: To fund 1,000 community mini-savings banks at $591: $591,000

Oxfam: 10,000 Hygiene kits at $36.38: $363,800

Annual Washington Post Premium Digital subscription: $39 first year, then $100

Curator membership to American Museum of Natural History: $10,000 per year

Tractors for Africa: 50 x 75 HP tractors in Ghana at $35,000: $1,750,000

Frontline Membership to the Anti-Defamation League: $1,000 per year

Global Giving: Literacy Classes & Books for Afghan Women & Girls: Two reference books for a school or public library for $24: 2,500 books for $60,000.

Babbel: Learning Spanish-Lifetime membership: $299.50 (current sale)

Unicef USA: To fully vaccinate 500,000 children at $58: $29,000,000

Annual New York Times digital subscription: $20 first year, then $90

Becoming a Clinton Foundation Ambassador: starting at $1,500 per year

Lifetime member of Pride at Work: $1,000

Michelle Obama: The Light We Carry at Amazon: $20.99 paperback

100,000 NextEra Energy (solar and wind energy) shares at $58.15: $5,815,000

Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour Poster: $30.00

Donations:

The Water Project

Sandy Hook Promise

Welcome Corps

Open Society Foundations

World Health Organization (WHO)

Galck+(Formerly known as The Gay and Lesbian Coalition of Kenya)

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network

United Way

Planned Parenthood

United Hands for Relief and Development (UHR)

Obama Foundation

Amnesty International

Everytown for Gun Safety

I’m sure Trump would approve of every single one of these wonderful selections, for Carroll to spend his money on.

This is all fun and games, but if we are allowed to be serious, there are thousands of worthwhile charities, NGOs, and groups in the world; which cover every possible theme or cause. $88.3 million could go a long way in helping a vast amount of people, in a short amount of time.

$88.3 million. That figure still staggers me, all because a 77-year-old man, could not stop insulting an 80-year-old woman. I wonder what a third defamation lawsuit would look like? Damages over $100 million? $125 million? Higher?

If the court awarded you $88.3 million of Trump’s money, what would you do? As always, please let me know.

That’s it for another blog and another week. Thank you so much for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, watch the African Cup of Nations and Asian Cup Finals, and I’ll see you next week.

Merry Christmas 2023

On December 25, 2023January 1, 2024 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Blogs, People

I reached down in my pocket and pulled out some hope and a short blog. On behalf of UMC1, UMC2, my wife, and the staff at Some Geek Told Me¹, we hope everybody has a Merry Christmas! Being in New Zealand, my Christmas Day will have rain and a high of 23°C, which is 73.4°F for our Fahrenheit cousins.

*This is* *our local town Christmas Tree, from the front and back. It may come as a complete surprise, but I’m not a professional photographer, so sorry about the crap photos.*

Christmas is also the time of the year when I spend some extra time with UMC1 and UMC2, so this week’s blog is smaller; along with next week’s. If you’re a parent, I hope you understand. I’ll still be posting daily dribble on Twitter and Mastodon, so don’t panic.

Thank you for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me through 2023, it means a lot to me. Thanks for supporting this vanity project, and I’ll see you on 1st January 2024.

^1.)The entire staff of Some Geek Told Me still consists of only one guy, that eats too much pizza, who needs even more sleep, and cries when he recognises his favourite bands as background mall music.

Three couples we need to stop admiring

On September 25, 2023October 2, 2023 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Comics, History, Literature, People

To quote Huey Lewis and the News, “The power of love is a curious thing, Make a one man weep, Make another man sing.” Love can change and transform a person; it can make them loving, compassionate, brave, empathetic, happy, and basically everything else positive society can throw a label on.

Like many things or concepts in this mad little world, love is like a coin; it has two sides or two faces.¹On one face of the coin, is love as described by Jane Austen: witty, lovely, romantic, charming, and enduring. On the other face, well, we have love described by the Brontë sisters: dark, jealousy, twisted, obsessive, and secretive. Love can make people do some pretty crazy stuff and not all of it is good.

There are many couples throughout history and pop culture that personify romantic love. We can admire these couples as role models; whether straight, gay, or everything else. However, there are equally couples that are so bad for each other, that everybody knows they shouldn’t be together, or at least, have some extreme Brontë issues to work through.

Toss the love coin for a couple and see where it lands. Does it land Austen face up, or is it Brontë? That seems easy, doesn’t it? But what about the couples in the centre of the Venn diagram? What if the coin does not land face down, but is actually on its side? ²

Some people look and say that these couples are lovely and romantic, so they must belong together. They are admired, romanticised, and even idolised. Now I’m not an expert on love; ask my wife, but I have three couples that do not deserve your admiration. As a collective society, we need to stop lying to ourselves about these couples.

May I submit three couples that we desperately need to stop admiring: 1 x historical couple and 2 x fictional couples. Let’s break some hearts!

Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow (Bonnie and Clyde)

Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were part of the Barrow Gang, which included Clyde’s brother Marvin “Buck” Barrow, and his wife Blanche. They operated in the Central United States of America, during 1932-1934, committing small-time heists and bank robberies.

Bonnie and Clyde were romanticised at the time, and still are. They were a young couple, living their best life, which fed into the counterculture, with part of the public admiring and adoring them. One of the reasons was that Bonnie was already married to a man named Roy Thornton, but she was in love with Clyde.

In the grips of the Great Depression, these love birds were fighting to be free and live wild. The growing problem was their crimes were becoming more violent, which resulted in people being killed. This made the public slowly turn on them, and law enforcement officers hunted them.

On 23rd May 1934, Bonnie and Clyde’s crime spree ended. They were ambushed in their car, by law enforcement officers and were shot to death. Bonnie had 26 bullet wounds, and Clyde received 17; with both suffering head shots.

Over the years, their romantic legacy has grown across the world, especially because of the Academy Award-winning 1967 film, Bonnie and Clyde. But let’s face facts; Bonnie and Clyde committed multiple robberies of banks, gas stations, and small stores, but also killed at least 12 people; which included nine law enforcement officers.

It’s been 89 years since their death, and I’m sorry to say, we need to stop admiring them.

Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet (Romeo and Juliet)

Did you see this one coming?! First performed in 1597, William Shakespeare’s immortal play Romeo and Juliet, has been touted as one of the greatest love stories ever told. It’s been adapted into film, ballet, opera, paintings, and literature, and is still performed through theatre around the world. Over 420 years later, people are still experiencing and revisiting the story.

Though should we still be experiencing Romeo and Juliet? Hell, yes! I’m not smart enough to articulate just how impactful and amazing the play is, and why it’s important. To me, it’s good, it’s so, so good. However, that isn’t the correct question we should be asking.

We should hold on to Romeo and Juliet, until the potential heat death of the universe. But should we keep romanticising them? Hell, no!

I want you to think about a few things:

The entire play is set over six days. Yes, just six days!
When Romeo meets Juliet for the first time, he’s on the rebound from Rosaline (Sunday evening).
Romeo and Juliet fall in love with each other (Sunday evening).
Romeo meets Juliet for the second time and agree to marry (Late Sunday evening).
The next day, Romeo and Juliet marry (Monday afternoon).
By Friday morning, both Romeo and Juliet are dead by their own hands.

Imagine if your child or grandchild came to you and said, that the person they were planning on marrying today, they had only met them the day before? What would you do? Seriously, what would you say?

From the time I first met my future wife, to actually getting married was 20 months. I used to think that was fast, but that’s at a snail’s pace, compared to Romeo and Juliet’s 24 hours!

This brings me to their ages. At the time of the wedding, I believe Romeo was 16 years old, and Juliet was just 13 years old. Granted the play was set in Verona, around the 14th/15th century, but still.

Another love myth to break about the couple is that by the end of the play, six people had died. They were Mercutio, Tybalt, Lady Montague, Paris, and the idiots of the story, Romeo and Juliet. Yes, Romeo and Juliet did kill themselves, but through their actions; directly and indirectly, four other people paid the ultimate price for their one-night stand. Romeo alone personally killed three people!

“These violent delights have violent ends.”

If you’re looking for romance, love, or shenanigans in a Shakespearian play, then admire these couples: Sebastian and Olivia, Viola and Orsino, Lucentio and Bianca, Petruchio and Katherina, Bassanio and Portia, Beatrice and Benedick, or Orlando and Rosalind.

Romeo and Juliet truly belong with the other tragic couples: Othello and Desdemona, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, Antony and Cleopatra, Duke of Albany and Goneril, Duke of Cornwall and Regan, and of course, Hamlet and Ophelia.

The tale of Romeo and Juliet is not a love story, because nobody is left happy at the end. I think one of the points of the play is not to admire Romeo and Juliet; because they don’t deserve it, but to see their flaws and mistakes, so you don’t have to make them yourself.

The Joker and Harley Quinn (The Joker and Harleen Quinzel)

I’m not going to spend a lot of time with this couple because they are the textbook example of a toxic relationship. When everybody’s favourite Arkham Asylum escapee was recaptured and brought back, the Joker met, manipulated, seduced, and corrupted psychologist Harleen Quinzel, and helped her to transform into Harley Quinn.

Harley Quinn became the Joker’s accomplice and girlfriend, but it was an awful abusive relationship. Over the years and in different versions, the Joker has done some pretty horrible things to Harley. These involve various methods, and include and not limited to throwing her into a vat of industrial chemicals; pushing her out of a window; torturing her by beating, cutting, and hanging her half to death; setting Harley’s own hyenas onto her; planning to kill her in front of the Dark Knight; tried to cut her face off; locked her into a rocket; he killed her and transformed her into a constellation; constantly beating and casting her out before wooing her back; and one time, he didn’t even notice that Harley had left for a year.

And just to clarify, Harley is not blameless in this mess. By the Joker’s own admission, he believes that Harley is crazier than him. The way the Joker controlled and manipulated Harley, only worked because Harley thought his abusive behaviour was a sign that he loved her. It wasn’t.

The Joker would have rather beaten Harley to a bloody pulp than admit he cared for her; as much as a homicidal, sadistic psychopath can care for someone.

Unlike the previous two entries on this list, there is a happy ending of a sort. Harley ultimately left the Joker forever and is now in a loving, positive, and healthy relationship with Poison Ivy. Though whether Harley being involved in another relationship with a villain is a good idea, remains to be seen.

And there you have it. Just like Fat Boy Slim said, “Like a favourite pair of jeans that you won’t give up on,” we need to give up on the idea that these three couples are to be romanticised, admired, or idolised because they don’t deserve it. You wouldn’t wish any family member to be involved in any relationship, similar to these disasters, would you? Well, maybe it depends on the family member.

Have I missed any toxic couples out? As always please let me know. I know I didn’t include Heathcliff and Catherine, but to be honest, this blog got away from me, so I’ll include them next time. ³

Thanks once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. I’m also on Twitter and Mastodon, where I have daily posts, and attempt to be funny.

Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, avoid playing Monopoly at all costs, watch some Rugby World Cup games, and I’ll see you next week.

¹It’s been a long time since I snuck in a Batman reference.

²This is a shout out to Heathcliff and Catherine. I see you, I see you.

³I told you I saw Heathcliff and Catherine.

Legend now and forever: John Romita Sr.

On June 26, 2023July 3, 2023 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Comics, People

This week’s blog is sadly becoming a depressing trend on Some Geek Told Me; yet another titan of the comic book industry has fallen. On the 12th of June, John Romita Sr. passed away in his sleep at his home in New York, aged 93.

Far better writers have already crafted beautiful tributes about Romita Sr. and his art, so I feel strange addressing this topic, however, I’m going to talk about what John Romita Sr. meant to this awkward, comic-loving Kiwi geek.

I have explained this before, but I like comic books. I enjoy them for many different reasons, but one of them is that they helped me to learn how to read when I was young.

There was a tatty old cardboard box under my bed, that was filled with old comics, that I think were donated by various family members and people in the community. The true origin of the box is a mystery to me, to be honest, and I like it that way.

The stories were exciting and outrageous, but it was the art that drew you into the story. The characters had colourful costumes, the backgrounds were detailed, and the drama, oh the drama! I remember reading some shabby, coverless comics with Spider-Man and various other Marvel characters, and I was enthralled with them.

One day I observed that some of the amazing characters looked very similar, like they were drawn by the same person. I discovered later on, that the artist’s name was John Romita Sr. That name didn’t hold any gravity with me, because I didn’t know comic history; I just knew I liked his work.

Time moved on and I learnt more about comics, but also about the people creating them. To me, that Romita guy’s art seemed to be everywhere! I knew that wasn’t the case, it just seemed that way.

And of course, much like millions of other people over the planet, I slowly fell in love with John’s art. It was always so gorgeous. Eventually, I started to understand what a powerhouse John Romita Sr. was for comics.

Even as the somewhat adult that I am, I still get surprised. I’ll be looking at some comic art from whatever decade, and I’ll start to think, “Wait, did Romita Sr. draw this?” I’ll check, and yes, yes he did. My next thought would always be, “How much art did he draw? It’s everywhere! Did he not sleep?!”

The stupid thing is that I’m crying as I’m writing this. I’m grieving about the death of a man that I never met, but has been in my life nonetheless. He created and co-created Wolverine, Mary Jane Watson, Brother Voodoo, Nova, and Luke Cage; along with Bullseye, Hobgoblin, Kingpin, and the Punisher, and many other characters. Who would Daredevil be without Bullseye and the Kingpin? Or Peter without Mary Jane? I have no idea, but it wouldn’t be what we have now.

The only thing left to say about John Romita Sr., is thank you. Your passion and dedication to your art, helped me to love a medium that has possessed my heart and soul. I send condolences to your family, but also gratitude, because you made this big old crazy world, a little bit brighter.

And with that, I’ll leave you. What’s your favourite art drawn by John Romita Sr.? Please let me know.

Thanks once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. I’m also on Twitter and Mastodon, where I ramble on about whatever my social media consultant tells me to write about.

Don’t forget to walk your dog; watch a banned movie; go and buy a comic book, and I’ll see you next week.

My wife’s thoughts on the Coronation of King Charles III

On May 8, 2023May 15, 2023 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn History, People, Television

I want to talk about the Coronation of King Charles III. Why? There are two main reasons for this, and I think you can guess the second reason. Let’s back up and start with the first reason. The last British coronation was on 2nd June 1953, when Queen Elizabeth II was crowned, after the death of her father, George VI.

Being a New Zealander and a student of history, watching the coronation of Elizabeth’s son, Charles III, was always a possibility. I mean, coronations don’t happen every week, do they? Maybe in Game of Thrones, but not in real life. The concept of the coronation was fascinating because, like billions of other people, I had never seen a live British coronation.

Because of the time zone difference, the coronation would be screened live in New Zealand, on Saturday night. Now the thing about last Saturday night, there was no test rugby on; so I could watch the coronation. However would I though? This would require some things to happen: UMC1 and UMC2 would need to be asleep before the coverage began, but I’d also need my wife’s blessing.

You see we have made Saturday night our date night. And when I mean date night, I mean staying at home to either play board games, play a PC Lego game, or watch a movie or tv series. You know, the standard thing that extremely cool people do on a Saturday night.

So I was unsure whether I wanted to watch the coronation. Watching a historic event, or helping Lego Harry Potter to survive Years 5-6? Oh, the agony of making a geek choose. The interesting point is that the decision was actually taken away from me, because my wife suggested we watch the coronation together.

I was stunned at this because my wife is; and I’m quoting her description of herself as, “…a no-frills practical person.” A coronation was one of the last things, I would imagine my wife actually sitting down to watch, but she did it to spend time with her awkward geeky husband, so she scored some great spouse points.

Let’s set the scene, shall we? We’re in the bedroom watching the coverage via the laptop, with my wife sitting on the bed, and I’m in the swivel chair. After playing several games of Uno and waiting for the coronation procession to begin, my wife started her master plan. She knew I’d be listening and watching carefully to the coverage, so she started trying to be funny to annoy me, just because she could. Among many other statements during the coronation’s coverage, my wife set these zingers off:

If this is the scaled back version, I would hate to see what the full on version looks like.

If they were already in the car, why bother with the horses and carriage?

Is that a moat or a wet footpath?

What the hell?! Is that Richie McCaw?!

When the announcer introduced Liz Truss, as being the UK Prime Minister for a brief time, my wife and I both said, “What a burn!”

How many more people are they going to cram in?!

What’s with the Michael Jackson glove?

They would all be screwed if the cue card guy dropped the cards!

Elsa’s coronation wasn’t this bloody long.

A good excuse to wear robes, I guess.

When eating some cheese and crackers, she turned to me and said, “Wilt thou partaketh of these snacks?”

Where are they going? Out the back to sit down? They sat the whole way there and most of the service.

When the coronation procession ended at Buckingham Palace, that was the signal for us to go to sleep. Before we did though, my wife asked if I liked her commentary, because she said that she awesome. It is true, she is awesome; sometimes.

What did you think about the coronation? Was my wife correct? Please let me know. And with that, another weekly rant has ended; though we did have Star Wars Day and Free Comic Book Day.

Thanks once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Remember to walk your dog; read a banned book; eat French Vanilla ice cream; and I’ll hopefully see you next week.

Does everybody celebrate World Book Day?

On April 24, 2023May 1, 2023 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Books, Children, People

I want to talk about books. Why? Today in New Zealand, we have been celebrating World Book Day; well at least some of us have. This is a global event to promote and encourage reading, publishing, and books in general.

It’s a great day for a bibliophile. We get to discuss our favourite books, as well as to emphasise the importance of reading.

Now I could do something predictable and list my favourite books through different genres; like the dictionary. I bet you can’t wait for that one!

I could also discuss what reading means to me and the importance of it, but that’s too easy. As tempting as it is to choose one of these amazing options; it would be like being involved in a movie marathon, where you have to choose between the original Star Wars trilogy and the Lord of the Rings trilogy. What is a geek supposed to do?

But before I could do any of that, I have to put my hand up and acknowledge something. I am a straight white male, living in a country that is 21st in the world for GDP per Capita, and 15th in the Human Developmental Index.

I understand that if I was born in a different country, or at a different time, it is entirely possible that books would be an unknown or rare commodity to me, or at least learning how to read would be an ability that would not be available to me.

So in fairness, and as much as I like World Book Day and believe in its importance and relevancy, I have to ask the question: Does everybody in the world celebrate World Book Day? Realistically, the answer is no.

Sometimes I feel people take reading for granted because they have access to books; whether through school or public libraries, and bookstores. You can purchase any book from anywhere in the world and have it delivered to you, though the cost of postage could be the same as the national debt of a small country.

The issue is that a lot of people in the world don’t have access to books, or they can’t read. Over the years, world literacy rates have been rising. To the best of my knowledge, which quite frankly isn’t that great, New Zealand sits at 99%, which is pretty good. There are even higher literacy rates in Western Europe and Central Asia, which hit 100%, which to me is phenomenal.

So just like with nearly everything, if you have Salt and Vinegar chips, the opposite will exist. I don’t really need to remind you about Sour Cream and Chives, do I?

There are at least 10 countries in the world, where the literacy rate for the population is under 44%. The bottom three are South Sudan 34.52%, Guinea 32% and Chad 22.31%.

There is a staggering 781 million people that cannot read or write in the world, with over 60% of them being female. Different factors that can contribute to this problem are poverty, religion, but also the geopolitical climate of the country.

So you’re probably thinking, “Ok Scott, do you even have a point?”

For me, the concept that somewhere in this world, a child will not have access to picture books in their native language, is difficult to understand and accept. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe we don’t have to accept it. I don’t know how to solve this problem, but you have to start somewhere, right?

I’ve been thinking about this, and I’ve come to two conclusions about what we can do about it.

To address literacy rates, whether at local, national, or international levels, I think it comes down to two things; which are essentially the same thing: we have to give. We have to give either books or money.

I know I’m not an expert, but I think everybody can help:

Cull some novels from your collection and donate to charities.
Cull some picture books from your collection, and donate them to some early childhood centres.
If you buy a book, donate a book.
Become a member of your local library and enrol your children.
If possible, volunteer in your local community with a organisation that promotes literacy.
Donate money to a group or organisation that promotes literacy.

There are many different international groups and organisations that specialse in promoting literacy. These can include:

There are also many more hardworking groups and organisations around the world, that are helping to promote literacy; whether with adults or children. Please help pass on your love of reading to someone else.

“What an astonishing thing a book is. It’s a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny dark squiggles. But one glance at it and you’re inside the mind of another person, maybe somebody dead for thousands of years.

Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs.

Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic.”

-Carl Sagan.

And with that, I’m done with another ridiculous blog. Thanks once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Remember to walk your dog; read a banned book; stay away from yellow snow; and I’ll see you next week.

Things that Donald Trump has taught me

On April 3, 2023May 11, 2023 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn People, Politics2 Comments

I want to talk about Donald Trump. Why? Where do I begin? I honestly can’t remember when or how I first heard of Donald Trump. Maybe it was at primary school, intermediate or high school, but that piece of information has been lost to the sands of time, like someone’s PIN code.

I’m not going to sit in my cold and dark little room, and give a brief introduction of Trump. I mean, why would I?! If you haven’t heard of the 45th President of the United States of America, then I’m quite envious of you.

I’ve been thinking of writing a blog about Trump for a long time now. Not as long as Kenneth Branagh’s Hamlet, because nothing is longer than that, but still a long time. However after his indictment last week, I thought now’s a good time to bust a blog out.

Image by Tibor Janosi Mozes from Pixabay

Over the years, many people with more literary talent and qualifications than myself, have written countless articles, reports, lawsuits and books about Trump. Because of this, I have some easy options open to me over what to write about.

Trump’s lawsuits.
Trump’s childhood.
Trump’s allies and friends.
Trump’s marriages.
Trump’s businesses.
Trump’s political career.
Trump’s tv and film performances.
Trump’s social media.
Trump’s two impeachments.
Trump’s indictment.

Even with these easy topics to discuss, here’s my Mum’s description of me to explain what I’m doing to do.

“If there’s an easy way and a complicated way of doing something, he will chose the complicated way, every single time.”

Sorry about that, Mum.

If you’re a sharp and clever person; like I know you must be, because you’re reading this blog, you would have noticed the title: Things that Donald Trump has taught me. I’m not talking about being a contestant on The Apprentice or having worked with him; no, I’m talking about living over 14,000 km away, while watching and reading about him. This concerns learning about people and life lessons; that I’ve learnt either directly or indirectly from Trump, that I will pass onto UMC1 and UMC2.

I’ve listed them in no particular order, however I did fight the urge to list them alphabetically or chronologically.

And with that, let’s do it.

People

News:

Thanks to Trump, I now know the names and faces of many reporters, anchors, talk show hosts, and journalists, across the media spectrum. I didn’t know these people existed before Trump, but I do now. This includes:

Fox News: Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity, Steve Doocy, Ainsley Earhardt, Brian Kilmeade, Kayleigh McEnany, Greg Gutfeld, Jesse Watters, Bret Baier, Jeanine Pirro, and Peter Doocy.
CNN: Don Lemon, Jim Acosta, John Berman, Victor Blackwell, Erin Burnett, Kate Bolduan, Alisyn Camerota, S. E. Cupp, Van Jones, and Abby Phillip.
MSNBC: Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski, Willie Geist, Katy Tur, Nicolle Wallace, Chris Hayes, Ari Melber, Joy Reid, Hallie Jackson, Lawrence O’Donnell, and Stephanie Ruhle.
Talk Show Hosts: Bill Maher, Trevor Noah, Seth Meyers, Wendy Williams, Chelsea Handler, and Samantha Bee. And I can’t forget, Sean Spicer, Robin Roberts and George Stephanopoulos.

Politics:

Once again, I have to thank Trump, because now I know the names and faces of many politicians across the political spectrum. Again, I didn’t know these people existed before Trump, but I do now. This includes:

Republicans: Paul Ryan, Mike Pence, John Bolton, Devin Nunes, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Ben Carson, Chris Christie, Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Lindsey Graham, Mike Lee, Chuck Grassley, John Barrasso, Tom Cotton, Rick Scott, Adam Kinzinger, Ron DeSantis, Susan Collins, Josh Hawley, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Nikki Haley, J.D. Vance, Tim Scott, Ron Johnson, Marsha Blackburn, John Cornyn, Kay Ivey, Brian Kemp, Mike DeWine, Kristi Noem, Brad Raffensperger, Greg Abbott, Liz Cheney, Kevin McCarthy, Ryan Zinke, Paul Gosar, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, George Santos, Jim Jordan, Ronny Jackson, and of course, Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Democrats: Kamala Harris, Richard Blumenthal, Chris Murphy, Chris Coons, Jon Ossoff, Raphael Warnock, Dick Durbin, Tammy Duckworth, Elizabeth Warren, Amy Klobuchar, Cory Booker, Chuck Schumer, Kirsten Gillibrand, John Fetterman, Tim Kaine, Joe Manchin, Nancy Pelosi, Eric Swalwell, Stacey Abrams, Ilhan Omar, Hakeem Jeffries, Jerry Nadler, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Pete Buttigieg.

This also covers Bernie Sanders, Kyrsten Sinema and Angus King.

Others: Allen Weisselberg, Melania Trump, Tiffany Trump, Barron Trump, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Lara Trump, E. Jean Carroll, Samantha Holvey, Billy Bush, Jeffrey Epstein, Michael Cohen, Michael Avenatti, Herschel Walker, Joe Tacopina, Sidney Powell, Mike Lindell, Michael Flynn, George Papadopoulos, Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, Robert Mueller, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, William Barr, Jeff Sessions, Alvin Bragg, Fani Willis, and lastly, Stormy Daniels.

Every single one of these people, I know now because of Trump. I’m sorry if I’ve missed anybody out, but Trump’s been busy.

Life Lessons

Don’t open an university and name it after yourself.
A 76 year old male will never change, but its not too late for you to change.
Make sure you understand what the words “gaslighting” and “nepotism” mean.
During an eclipse, only look directly at the Sun with the correct eye protection.
Muslims are real people; but they are not coming to get you.
It’s possible to get a job that you’re not qualified to do.
Detonating a nuclear weapon inside a hurricane, is not a good idea.
Never name a brand of steaks after yourself.
You should never inject yourself with bleach.
You can only give someone a nickname, if you’re prepared to receive one; or if you’re 8 years old.
Even though you can hate it, it’s important to pay your taxes.
Always proof read and edit your social media posts.
It’s legal to make hush money payments in the State of New York, but it’s illegal to cover it up.
Members of the LGBTQ+ community are real people; but they are not coming to get you.
It’s not a great look if you’re on a social media rant, at 4.30 am when you’re the President of the United States of America.
If people quote or record what you’ve said, you can’t deny it happened when there is physical evidence.
Claiming you’ve never met a particular person, before photos being released of you meeting said person, is quite hilarious.
Take the time to learn about your country’s history; especially if there was a Civil War and the causes behind it.
If a Neo-Nazi or the Ku Klux Klan agrees with your views of society, you’re doing something wrong.
Reading is fun.
If someone is writing a book about you with your consent, and they’re following you around, please remember they are actually there.
Don’t call your favourite media talk show, to decry the media.
It’s important to learn world geography.
Vaccines are some of greatest achievements in the history of humanity.
Just because someone disagrees with you, doesn’t make them wrong or evil.
If you’re going to create a new word like bigly or covfefe, you can’t just use it once; you need to use it multiple times for it to catch on.
A Sharpie is a quality marker.
Children being killed at school through gun violence, should never be acceptable.
Understanding how the impeachment of a president works. (Twice).
Never conduct interviews, with a helicopter in the background.
Just because you don’t like what someone else says, doesn’t make it fake news.

I could go on, but UMC1 and UMC2 would have fallen asleep by now. But seriously, the biggest life lesson Trump has taught me, is this: Never lie about something, that can be fact checked by a person using their phone, during their toilet break.

Has Trump taught you anything? Please let me know. Anyway, I’m done with Trump tonight, but not forever. I need to sleep, because Daylight Savings has finished, and my body is rebelling against it. Thanks once again for reading, following and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me; it means a lot. Remember to walk your dog; watch a banned movie; stay away from variant comic book covers; and I’ll see you next week.

So how did St. Patrick drive every snake out of Ireland?

On March 20, 2023March 27, 2023 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn History, People

I want to talk about St. Patrick. Why? Well since this blog has gone up on 20th March, and given that St. Patrick’s Day was on 17th March, many people around the world, will still be nursing hangovers or trying to find their way home. St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland and his day, 17th March, go together like alcohol, green wigs and vomitting.

It’s a day where millions of people from different ethnicities and nationalities, all put on a green hat and pronounce that for the next 24 hours, they’re Irish. Or until the money or alcohol stops, whatever comes first.

But what about St. Patrick himself? Patrick would have been a green loving, snake driving Irishman, that helped convert the pagans to Christianity, right? Well, yes and no.

The problem is there are a lot of misconceptions about St. Patrick and 17th March, that to a student of history and geek like myself, I think are quite…fascinating. Below are eight myths and misconceptions about St. Patrick and his day, that you may or may not know.

So, let’s get the craic started!

1.) St. Patrick’s name was Patrick.

Quite possibly of all the information on this list, this is the most outrageous. We all know that St. Patrick’s real name would have been…well, Patrick, right? In a reality with no Flat Earthers, this would be correct. Sadly however, we do have Flat Earthers in this reality, and St. Patrick’s real name was not Patrick. In fact it was Maewyn Succat. This can be explained with the second myth.

2.) St. Patrick was Irish.

Maewyn Succat was not born in Ireland or even Northern Ireland, for that matter; though Northern Ireland didn’t exist until 1921.¹ Maewyn was born sometime during the late 4th century (maybe 385 CE or 386 CE); though different sources offer different dates. As for the location, it was Roman Britain, either in Wales or Scotland; though quite possibly, Wales.

3.) St. Patrick’s colour was green.

This fact is just bizarre. The Irish and Emerald Isle seem to have always been associated with the colour green. The flag, shamrocks, leprechauns and St. Patrick’s Day have added to this association. But the truth is stranger than fiction, because St. Patrick’s colour was blue.

The colour known as St. Patrick’s Blue, has been used in artworks depicting St. Patrick, where he is wearing blue robes. It can also still be observed on old Irish flags, sports uniforms, coat-of-arms, ribbons and armbands.

4.) St. Patrick drove all of the snakes out of Ireland.

You should never let the truth get in the way of a good story. That old saying is perfectly reflected in this fact, because according to the story of St. Patrick, he drove all of the snakes out of Ireland. This is a metaphor, since St. Patrick brought Christianity to Ireland and converted the pagans, the snakes represent evil or the sinners.

The punch line is that Ireland; and just like New Zealand, has never been home to native snakes. Ever.

5.) The first St. Patrick’s Day parade was held in Ireland.

Since St. Patrick’s Day is an Irish event, you would think that the first St. Patrick’s Day parade was held somewhere in Ireland. If you were a betting person, you would have lost.

The first recorded parade honouring St. Patrick’s Day was held in what is now St. Augustine, Florida, USA. Records show that a St. Patrick’s Day parade was held on 17th March, 1601.

6.) St. Patrick was a saint.

Vulcans embrace them, but what we are talking about is a technicality. St. Patrick is known as a saint, but he’s actually not. Well, not yet anyway. He’s a not a saint, because he was never canonised by the Catholic Church.

7.) St. Patrick’s shamrock.

St. Patrick is said to have brought Christianity to Ireland through preaching and explaining how the religion works. Legend says that one way he did this, was to use the famous shamrock leaf. He demonstrated that the shamrock was like the Holy Trinity; with each leaf representing the Holy Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, to show that the three different religious entities could be separate, but still be part of the same whole.

8.) The reason why St. Patrick’s Day is 17th March.

We all know that St. Patrick’s Day is 17th March, but why is it? Even though St. Patrick was not technically a saint, he was still revered as one. In Catholicism, the day when a saint dies is considered a holy day, and is treated as such. According to legend, St. Patrick died on 17th March, hence the celebrations.

Basically, millions of people around the world, wear green and get hammered on 17th March, because it’s the anniversary of St. Patrick’s death. It’s a roughly 1,500 year old never ending wake.

Was there anything on the list that you didn’t know? Do you know anything else unique or a misconception about St. Patrick? Please let me know.

Alright, that’s it for me. It’s raining at the moment and the house smells of wet dog, because Indy thought he would be brave and go outside; and let’s just say that he regretted that life choice. Next week, I will continue with our Tour of the Solar System, with the third chapter featuring the rivalry of planets vs dwarf planets. Can’t wait!! Anyway, thanks once again for reading, following and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me; walk your dog; read a banned book; stay away from Sour Cream and Chives; and I’ll see you next week.

¹That is a story for another day.

My favourite ERB videos

On March 6, 2023March 13, 2023 By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn History, People, Social Media

I want to talk about Epic Rap Battles of History again. Why? A few weeks ago; though in the life of a parent, it was a couple of decades, I wrote a blog about Epic Rap Battles of History or ERB. Because of this shoddy piece of literature, I thought I’d follow it up with another.

If you haven’t read the previous blog about ERB, it mainly centres on what’s it all about, why I like them and discusses some rap battles involving people I had never heard of.

That being the case, and just like fireproof matches, I thought it could be a good idea to discuss my favourite rap battles from the different seasons of the show. I thought about having a top 10 list of my favourite rap battles, but what would the criteria be? The number of insults? The number of references that I understood? Or maybe the best soundtrack? Though to be honest, I would probably just break the criteria, even though I made them.

So in the interest of keeping things simple, like Trigger from Only Fools and Horses, I decided to list my favourite ERB videos per season, but only one winner per season. Along with naming the runners up, of course.

Like I said, this is an easy one for us, so let’s do it.

Season 1

Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking

There are some gems from the first season, like Napoleon vs. Napoleon, Justin Bieber vs. Beethoven, and Dr. Seuss vs. Shakespeare, but the winner is Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking. The rap battle has some brutal lyrics, but Hawking’s burn about the observable particles in the universe, is so good, I can’t stop singing and smiling at it. This rap battle is cruel, but funny as hell; even if you don’t know the references.

Season 2

Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe

Season 2 had some runners up like Season 1. These include Mozart vs. Skrillex, Batman vs. Sherlock Holmes, and Nikola Tesla vs. Thomas Edison. However even though my favourite rap battle is only 1.46 minutes long, it’s a knockout. From the opening bars, Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe is another brutal encounter, but it’s gets personal. Really personal. In all honesty, I think it could be one of the savage rap battles, because even though the two women are separated by about 1,950 years, they hate each other.

Season 3

Goku vs. Superman

In ERB’s third season, the quality of the rap battles were getter better. Whether it was the writing, acting, singing, costumes or special effects, or all of them, Season 3 was amazing. For me, the runners up were Sir Isaac Newton vs. Bill Nye, Bob Ross vs. Pablo Picasso, and Michael Jordan vs. Muhammad Ali. As for the winner, it was Goku vs. Superman. The lyrics were funny, the costumes were great, and the track was scarily catchy. But who won? Goku or Superman? The answer was the viewer.

Season 4

Zeus vs. Thor

This season was very close, for various reasons. The runners up were Romeo and Juliet vs. Bonnie and Clyde, Eastern Philosophers vs. Western Philosophers, and Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock. You’ll notice a collaborative theme with those rap battles. A special mention goes to the Jim Henson vs. Stan Lee battle, because; at least to me, it made sense that the two of them would stop fighting.

But speaking of fighting, the winner is Zeus vs. Thor. It was a genius idea to have the rap battle as Lego animation. It was outstanding, but so was the track and the lyrics. Zeus and Thor were both getting burnt for our entertainment and it was glorious.

Season 5

J. R. R. Tolkien vs. George R. R. Martin

For me, Season 5 was absolutely deadly, because just like the other seasons, the quality of the series was increasing. The runner ups for this season were Gordon Ramsay vs. Julia Child, Frederick Douglass vs. Thomas Jefferson, and Alexander the Great vs. Ivan the Terrible. They were awesome, but there was only one to rule them all: J. R. R. Tolkien vs. George R. R. Martin.

The make up for Peter and Lloyd was excellent, along with the soundtrack. Every time I hear the lyrics about the Tolkien’s tree branch and C.S Lewis, I can’t stop smiling, because they’re hilarious. I think they have three verses each; just like Zeus and Thor, which makes it more of an argument. I love it.

Season 6

Guy Fawkes vs. Che Guevara

This was extremely close, because the rap battles were mean, just mean. The runners up were Harry Potter vs. Luke Skywalker, Thanos vs. J. Robert Oppenheimer, and Mother Teresa vs. Sigmund Freud. A special mention goes to Ronald McDonald vs. The Burger King, because it was vicious and the funniest of the season.

However, the winner is Guy Fawkes vs. Che Guevara. I loved the rap battle, because it was packed full of historic and cultural references, as well as the special effects and costumes were superb. I’m a student of history, so this was, well, epic.

Season 7

John Wick vs. John Rambo vs. John McClane

Currently there are only four rap battles in this season so far, but I have to go for John Wick vs. John Rambo vs. John McClane. Jokes about dogs, Vietnam and marriages, along with the background and costumes, make this quite memorable. I’ve seen all of their films, and the ERB crew did a cracking job at bringing them to life.

Are you a fan of ERB? Do you agree with my choices? What are your favourite rap battles? Please let me know.

Alright, that’s another blog finished and my reward is to watch Last Week Tonight, and to think about next week’s blog. I’m sure something lame will come to me.

Thanks for reading, go walk your dog, watch a banned movie and I’ll see you next week.

SOME GEEK TOLD ME

Category: People