Category: Parents

Culture wars: Coming to a town near you

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Children, Parents, People, Politics, Social Media

I want to talk about culture wars today. Why? Well, it’s easy, because as popular, hilarious and crazy as they are, they seem to be spreading everywhere faster than The Flash’s diarrhoea.

Old Mac (Insert name of politician/celebrity) had a country, E-I-E-I-O!

And in their country they had a culture war, E-I-E-I-O!

With a culture war here, and a culture there,

There a culture war, here a culture war,

Everywhere a culture war,

Old Mac (Insert name of politician/celebrity) had a country, E-I-E-I-O!

Culture wars have been making headlines for a few years, around different places on our beautiful planet. Even here, in Godzone, sadly.

Before I venture into my lecture, let’s take the time to define what a culture war is, because just like Christmas or Salt and Vinegar chips, it can mean different things to different people. However, for today, we are going to define a culture war as:

1.) A conflict that is usually between two different social groups, that disagree about a particular subject that involves challenging ideas, virtues, or beliefs, that are political, social, or religious.

2.) It’s not really a war, but rather a battle of words, backed up with protests and other expressions of free speech.

I’m not an expert on this because if I were, I would have much more fun with it! Maybe in the last 10-15 years, culture wars have slowly invaded our lexicon, like cuckoos laying their eggs in another bird’s nest.

They have infected our homes, schools, workplaces, supermarkets, and even the highest levels of government. I mean, our glorious 79-year-old Deputy Prime Minister, The Right Honourable Winston Peters, loves discussing how he works against the “secret woke agenda.”

The culture wars of today involve debates about areas like politics, religion, society, and entertainment, but also views concerning prejudice, racism, sexism, and bigotry are getting tossed around like a hot potato. Sadly, even science has been dragged into these ridiculous discussions because of conspiracy theories.

There is also a case to be made that culture wars are just a different form of class war. Food for thought? Preferably pizza, thanks.

Image by Javier Robles from Pixabay

So, what are some examples of culture wars? Great question; you’re good at that! I’m looking at this through the lens of a New Zealander, but I think some culture wars are global. Here are some of them, but not all of them; but they emphasise the “us vs them” mentality, depending on what side of the fence you sit down or land on. These examples get people angry and passionate, whether you are for or against them.

Do any of these culture wars seem familiar to you?

  • Having bilingual names for government departments, along with street and road signs.
  • Promoting an indigenous or native language.
  • Drag story time at libraries.
  • Painting rainbows over pedestrian crossings.
  • Pushing a “woke” agenda, or just being “woke”.
  • Hakas should only be performed on a sports field, marae, or on a stage, and nowhere else.
  • Being pro-Israeli means you’re anti-Islamic.
  • Being pro-Palestinian means you’re Anti-Semitic.
  • Embryos should have the same rights as humans; so IVF and abortion are murder.
  • Immigrants are the root cause of our country’s problems.
  • Governments promote smoking to generate revenue.
  • If someone can’t speak the official language of the country they live in, they should leave.
  • Islam is evil.
  • Pronouns are a source of conflict.
  • Urban policies vs rural policies.
  • Annexing or invading another sovereign country is fine and legal, if, to you, that country is not legitimate.
  • Vaccines and face masks don’t work.
  • The Earth is Flat.
  • Climate change is a hoax and not real.
  • Indigenous people should not be given a representative voice in government, nor have any extra or special rights.
  • Burqas, hijabs and turbans should be banned in Western countries.
  • The Great White Replacement Theory.
  • The gender you were assigned at birth should determine the gender related to the public and school toilets or changing rooms you use. This applies to both children and adults.
  • Members of the LGBTQIA+ should not be able to marry each other, along with not being able to adopt or work with children.
  • You’re a Nazi or fascist if you believe in right-wing politics or conservative policies.
  • You’re a communist or socialist if you believe in left-wing politics or progressive policies.
  • People should be allowed to peacefully protest, but only for the values and beliefs you agree with.
  • Politicians who are multi-millionaires but show conflict of interests.
  • Is hate speech a form of free speech?
  • Critical Race Theory.
  • Black Lives Matter.
  • Defending a country’s right to protect itself, means they need to break international law to do so.
  • Wars in another countries are not relevant to my country, because we don’t look like them, therefore, they are not our concern. Eg Sudan and Myanmar.
  • Punishments for breaking anti-homosexual laws.
  • MeToo movement.
  • Major tax cuts for the ultra-wealthy, landlords, and large corporations.
  • Depending on the country you live in, having great access to firearms.
  • Whitewashing history.
  • There are only two genders.
  • Suppressing some people’s right to vote is important because they might not vote for your party.
  • The vandalism and removal of statues of historical figures linked to racism, slavery, colonisation, murder, sexism, or genocide.
  • The increasing amount of book banning, challenging, and censorship, across school and public libraries.
  • Any person born a male, should not be able to participate in any female sports; regardless of age or level of transition.
  • Males should not be able to work in a female-dominated industry.
  • Females should not be able to work in a male-dominated industry.
  • Criticising another country because they have a theocracy government, but actively promoting and advocating for your own country to be one as well.
  • Totalitarianism, authoritarianism, and dictatorships are effective because they can weed out the undesirables.

And the list could go on and on.

Given the rise of culture wars worldwide, I’d like to offer some reasons why and how this has happened, or maybe I’m just talking out of my arse. Again, I’m coming at this from a New Zealand perspective, but also observations worldwide, so some culture wars could be known or relevant to you.

1.) The name “culture war” is relevantly new, but the concept and notion of it are not. At a best estimate, some culture wars started over 150 years ago. The concept is not new, just the name.

2.) With elections, whether they are at local or national levels, always seem to bring out an increased amount of warriors, fighting in their particular culture war. I feel this is done to target minorities, or fringe communities, and highlight how dangerous they could be because they are different and not mainstream.

The result is that people are encouraged to become passionate and empowered about these ideas, instead of focussing on larger and more important subjects like crime and unemployment rates, or the state of the economy.

It’s a form of distraction; it’s all smoke and mirrors. You can’t vote for/against or understand an important policy if politicians only even talk about trivial things that don’t matter.

“Don’t worry about the tobacco lobbyists having meetings with government ministers, you should worry about the man dressed as a woman, reading books to children at the library.”

3.) Using social media, conspiracy theories and misinformation makes it harder for people to differentiate fact from fiction, truth from lies, and understanding from bigotry.

“I read it on the internet, so it must be true.”

“I saw a news report about it, this is serious!”

“I agree with the TV host, they need to be stopped. We need to think of the children.”

Sound familiar? It’s easier to believe in a beautiful lie, than to accept the awful truth; especially if someone you trust is saying exactly what you’re thinking.

Judging people is easier than helping people, isn’t it?

4.) I think culture wars can bring out the best and worst of humanity, which causes more division within our communities; especially with gaslighting. Oh, gaslighting, where would the righteous few be without gaslighting? Not living in the White House I would imagine.

How many arguments have you had with your father over public protests? Or your mother over immigrants? Or your co-workers about vaccines, or drag story time with your siblings?

If culture wars keep getting pushed onto us by politicians, religious leaders, celebrities, and billionaires, then who wins? The conservatives? The progressives? I’ll tell you this for nothing, I may not be able to tell you who wins, but I can tell you who loses, and that us. You, me, the vulnerable, the prosecuted, the poor, and the oppressed.

I think some culture wars need to be explored, debated and argued. It helps you to draw a line in the sand, so you can understand and define your own morality, but also to understand where your neighbour, friend, child, parent, or spouse’s ideas are coming from. Some things need to be discussed.

Some culture wars, on the other hand, don’t need to be discussed, because it’s about common sense, or the lack of it. I mean, you’re not going to win an argument with a person who has the IQ of a carrot, are you? In these cases, I feel it’s better to smile and ignore them, so let them live their best life by being stupid. Let them do them, so you can do you.

The problem is identifying the real culture wars from the batshit crazy ones; which I’ll admit, I’m still learning how to do.

Did I miss any culture wars? What culture wars are you invested in? As always, please let me know.

Thanks for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, and I’ll see you next week.

Also, if you happen to see Vladimir Putin or Benjamin Netanyahu cruising around in a country other than Russia or Israel, please do me a favour, and tell the ICC and your government. That would make my year.

Surviving the School Holidays Again

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Children, Parents

As you can tell, we have just finished and survived another round of school holidays. Among kiwi taming and hobbit searching, public school children in New Zealand operate on four terms during the year, with two weeks of holidays separating the terms. Of course, Term 4 ends with a six-week holiday covering the end of the year and Christmas, but we are way ahead of ourselves!

Term 4 started today, with UMC1 and UMC2 having mixed feelings about it; I sense much conflict in them. They wanted to see their friends again, but you can’t beat the school holidays! Well, from their perspective, you can’t.

So, how did the school holidays go? I have to be honest with you, we went into the holidays dealing with Indy’s death, so my wife and I put in extra effort to make these holidays fun for UMC1 and UMC2, but manageable for us. And when I say manageable, I mean our ability to survive the threats without starting divorce proceedings.

Without any more time-wasting, let’s discuss the threats we faced and see if you can relate to any of them.

Image by Mirka from Pixabay

Lego Invasion

This threat is an old one, but it’s still serious. UMC1 and UMC2 love working and playing around the house with Lego, but during the school holidays, this obsession gets taken to the next level.

Every room in the house, except for the bathroom, was invaded by their Lego, whether they were figures, vehicles, or everything in between. They even covered the window frame of the back door with newly designed Lego droids, so every time you opened or closed the door, droids and tears would fall.

The dining room table was the scene of multiple Lego construction sites throughout the holidays. These included on the table, under the table, on three different chairs, and the foot railings. Apparently, Lex Luthor, Boba Fett and Foot Clan Ninjas like to loiter under the table.

It’s also a hell of a thing to consistently find Lego that does not belong to you on your bed, then to be lectured about moving things that don’t belong to you.

As for the base plates, the boys created several buildings that stayed in the lounge. This meant every morning, the base plates were taken off the table and placed back onto the floor, then moved to the table again at night time, so just it could start again the next day.

Using the vacuum cleaner was a nightmare because every scrap of carpet needed to be checked for Lego, which proved to be problematic. I was also delightfully reminded of the dangers of walking shoeless in the house during the school holidays, because of the amount of Lego impaling my feet.

Pyjama Days

I don’t mind pyjamas at all, but during the school holidays, my children practically live in them. There have been numerous battles over the idea of UMC1 and UMC2 wanting to go out in their pyjamas, despite logical and reasonable arguments against it, assuming they even want to leave the house in the first place.

Their philosophy was that since it was their school holidays, they should be able to choose their clothes, meaning they were choosing to remain in their pyjamas for the whole day.

I can’t tell you the number of times I called my wife to see how things were going, just to be told that the boys were still in their pyjamas; but they were going to get changed because they were all going out. Fast forward to me seeing them in the car when they had picked me up, or when I got home, they were still in their pyjamas. I would ask about it, but my wife would just shake her head and admit defeat.

It was also funny and tragic explaining to them, that yes, it’s time to have a shower, so they needed to remove the pyjamas so they could be washed.

And yes, they could choose another pair to wear afterwards. I have no idea how many times I’ve said pyjamas over the last two weeks, but it would have been more times than The Brain has tried to take over the world.

Star Wars: Rebels

This one was not a threat, but it was weird. We had previously mentioned to UMC1 and UMC2 that they could watch Star Wars: Rebels, during the school holiday this year. Everybody had forgotten in the past holidays, so the boys were not going to miss out this time.

This involved the boys asking for Star Wars: Rebels, before and after breakfast, before and after lunch, before and after dinner, and every other time in between. Because of this, it gave my wife and me some leverage for the boys to do things, like removing pyjamas, leaving the house, buying the groceries, having showers, or tidying up, which were the prices the boys had to pay to watch the show.

A lot of negotiations occurred during the last two weeks, with Star Wars: Rebels acting as the dangling carrot to the boys. And when they did get to see it, they were fixated on it, to the point they were quiet and absorbing it all.

After watching a collection of episodes, UMC2 would also retell the plot to you, completely forgetting that you were sitting next to him throughout the show. Their role-playing started to centre on Star Wars: Rebels, which resulted in many over-enthusiastic lightsabre battles.

I have rediscovered my appreciation for sleep-ins over being woken up at 5.30 am, because UMC1 and UMC2 are recreating lightsabre battles in our bedroom. Not cool guys, not cool.

We made it through the two weeks of school holidays thanks to various forms of caffeine. Now we have about 10 weeks to recover before the six weeks of the Christmas/Summer holidays begin. During this time, I have two weeks off, so I will need plenty of energy drinks to keep up with UMC1 and UMC2. Good times!

If you have school-aged children, how to manage and survive the school holidays? As always, please let me know. Ok, that’s another rant for another week.

Thanks for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, watch The Wild Robot, and I’ll see you next week when we travel back to 1954. Cool bananas!

Until last week, I had never heard of Harrison Butker

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Parents, People, Politics, Social Media

I’m a sports fan, but even I find it difficult to follow every sport. I mean, it’s impossible. Well, maybe not for Chuck Norris, but for mere mortals like us, it is. Because of this obvious fact, I’m not an expert on North American sports, so a lot of NFL, MLB, NBA, and NHL information can easily slip by me.

It could be that some team has a new manager, another team has won 13 games in a row, another team has a new stadium, or a player has a new $200 million contract, and I wouldn’t know. My interests in these sports annually peak around the Superbowl, the World Series, the Stanley Cup playoffs, and the NBA finals, then they die down.

I do know enough, however, to understand that the New York Mets and New York Jets are terrible. At least, according to late-night hosts.

As a New Zealander, I’m just pleased I can roughly match the name of an American team to its sport. If it’s not rugby union, rugby league, cricket or football, I shamefully filter things out. However, despite all of this, I had never heard of Harrison Butker, until last week.

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

I was on my lunch break, resting my weary feet and enjoying my Vegemite sandwiches when I read an article about Harrison Butker. This led me to discover that I didn’t know who he was, but I knew about the Kansas City Chiefs because they won Super Bowl LVIII. That news even reached New Zealand.

I’m getting off-topic as usual, but after reading the short article regarding Butker’s commencement speech at Benedictine College; which I thought was a prank, I discovered videos about him from various news sources.

It was about that time when I realised that this news story was about a real event, it wasn’t a prank. After discovering the real existence of this speech, I made the decision not to mention it to my wife. The reason was I knew it would piss her off, so I wanted to avoid mentioning it to her. The joke was on me, though.

When I got home from work, my wife asked if I had heard about some guy in America who gave a speech. With a deep and regretful sigh, I said I had. I’m not going to repeat what my wife said, but she used a lot of adjectives about Butker’s speech.

In his speech, Butker seemed to throw a lot of shade at various things, including, men, women, Joe Biden, COVID lockdowns, IVF, abortion, LGBTQ+ and others, which have brought praise and criticism across the United States, but also around the world.

Am I going to add my opinion on this topic?

No, I’m not.

Why not? Everybody has an opinion, what’s yours?

My answer is in two parts. Firstly, any person who reads, follows, and subscribes to my daily/weekly posts, will already realise my views and opinions on these topics. If not, please read three years’ worth of nonsense.

Secondly, why would I want to add my voice to the thousands of comments about the speech, when other people have already done so, with far more articulated and wittier results? 

So, sit back, relax and enjoy social media and its amazing responses to Butker’s speech. I’ve removed people’s names on the posts because I hope that’s the correct thing to do.

From X

From Mastodon

From Facebook

Free speech is a double-edged sword; no one can physically stop you from speaking your mind and giving your opinion. However, it doesn’t mean you are free from consequences or repercussions, because of your words.

I’m a not smart man, but I’m wondering how long those consequences and repercussions will catch up to Harrison Butker. Maybe it won’t, I mean, we do live in reality and things don’t always go the way we want or need them to go. 

Anyway, thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. 

Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, go and divide by zero, and I’ll see you next week.

What is it like being married for 10 years?

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Parents, People

I hope everybody enjoyed Star Wars Day and Free Comic Book Day over the weekend! We did and we also enjoyed something else too. The main person to blame about anything concerning New Zealand’s 5th least favourite website just celebrated his 10th wedding anniversary. And for those of you not keeping up, that’s me, by the way.

I’ll be honest with you about something. Celebrating 10 years of married life wasn’t something I ever thought I was capable of doing, let alone getting married in the first place! Seriously.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

So what is it like being married for 10 years? Is it good, bad or somewhere in between? Before I begin, I’m talking about this from a male’s perspective, but some of these observations can easily be transferred to females as well.

  • You listen to the same stories your spouse tells new people and pretend you’ve never heard them before. And vice versa.
  • You can’t remember what you gave to your spouse for their birthday and anniversary, for the last four years. 
  • Your spouse has an instant recall of a conversation you had with them five years ago, but you can’t remember what you had for dinner last night.
  • You can trust your spouse to order takeaways on your behalf and get the order 95% correct. 
  • Your house is littered with half-finished projects that you or your spouse have started and then abandoned for different reasons.
  • Your spouse knows your sleeping habits better than you. 
  • Because you’re a one-income family, you save money by having your spouse give you and your children the same haircut. 
  • You and your spouse have an unofficial rule of swapping the “good parent, bad parent” routine around when dealing with your children. 
  • When you or your spouse mention an ex’s name that has not been discussed before, the mood in the room changes.
  • Any form of competition between you and your spouse must be handled with respect and fairly. No Monopoly!
  • Your spouse seems to know where everything is in the house, except their belongings.
  • You and your spouse have different chores that you do around your home, so when your spouse does one of yours, your brain wants to shut down because it can’t compute what’s just happened. 
  • When you’ve made your signature dinner meal, and your spouse politely mentions that it’s the 18th time that month, that you have made that exact meal.
  • The amazing music you played at your wedding, is now mall/supermarket background music. 
  • You both have different ways to fold the washing; which you argue over, but you never want to fold the washing alone. 
  • If someone other than your spouse flirts with you, you don’t even register it.
  • Gaslighting your spouse is either extremely funny, brave or dangerous. 
  • Looking back at photos of your wedding, makes you rage because you and your spouse look so refreshed and young. 
  • You still make rookie mistakes with your children, after your spouse has pointed it out. 
  • You and your spouse can be each other’s translators in new social situations. 
  • If you or your spouse have taken the wedding ring off for whatever reason, you’re reminded in a semi-friendly way to put it back on. 

Occasionally my wife reads these posts, so I need to tread carefully. So in case she does read this, I think being married for 10 years is wonderful!

Have you been married for 10 years or more? Have I missed any observations? As always, please let me know.

That’s another post for another week. Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, go Phoenix FC, and I’ll see you next week because the Tour of the Solar System is crawling back again!

Starting primary school for the first and last time

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Children, Parents

2024 is here and Some Geek Told Me is back with weekly blogs about…stuff! To start my first incoherent rant of the year, I thought I would talk about an event that is happening at the end of the month: UMC2 is starting primary school.

In New Zealand, children don’t have to start school until they are six years old. When they turn six, they need to be registered in some educational institute; whether it’s a primary school, home school, or something else. Having said that, the majority of children in Aotearoa start school when they turn five years old.

Because of this, UMC2 will be starting school at 5½, just like UMC1 did, three years ago. This brings us to the point of the blog: my youngest son is starting primary school, but it’s the last time for my family.

Image by Holly Dornak from Pixabay

I’ll admit, I have conflicting feelings about UMC2 going to school; I really do. To break this down, let’s discuss UMC2. He’s so excited about going to school, that at one point, he was trying to convince us that he should start school in UMC1’s 2023 class, “…because I’m smarter than him.”

He’s had three visits to his classroom, but he’s been doing drop-offs and pick-ups, along with school trips for three years now, so he’s very familiar and comfortable with the school. He’s also having UMC1’s first teacher, so he already knows her, which has helped with his transition.

On the other side, UMC2 is slightly nervous about being bullied and making friends at school; which I don’t blame him. It’s been somewhat heartbreaking listening to him when he’s mentioning that he hopes no one will bully him. This is because UMC2 treats other children like they are already great friends, and I wish I could be like that.

We can’t promise UMC2 that he won’t get bullied, so we’ve been just trying to give him the best tools to help himself; mainly talking to the teacher, and having confidence in himself.

UMC2 is proud of his school uniform, as it was pieced together from UMC1’s old uniform and some new clothes. He’s excited about school, and has a strong belief in himself, along with loving to learn new things; provided they’re about marine biology, Star Wars, and anatomy.1

So what about us? Well, I’m not going to discuss my wife’s feelings and thoughts; she can do that herself. For me though, well, I’m a box of crazy cats.

I’m excited and proud that he’s feeling positive about school, but I’m still worried. To bring some context into this conversation, and if you didn’t already know, I’m 9½ years older than my wife. This means, I got married and became a father, later than the average male in my country.

For the longest time, I thought I would never have children. The opportunity seemed to get smaller and smaller after each year, and now that I have two unmatured clones in my house, it sometimes feels a little surreal, but amazing at the same time.

It’s also not lost on me that we are entering a new chapter with UMC1 and UMC2. That being the case, I’m overwhelmed with the desire to try and be healthier. Time doesn’t stop, and since I’ll be older than a lot of the other parents of children in UMC2’s class, I need to make changes so I can still help and watch them both grow and develop through school. In theory, of course.

Added to that, we had a home delivery with UMC2, so through my eyes, it was like 10 months ago, that I caught him as he was being born. I was the first person in the world to hold him, and now he’s getting ready for school. Einstein was right, and of course he was right, I mean he’s Einstein, but time really is relative.

To me, it feels like I’ve blinked and our newborn baby boy has disappeared and been replaced with a school-age child who likes dismantling Lego, and discussing viruses, squids, and the motivations for General Grievous and the Riddler.

There will be no more preschoolers in our house anymore, but that’s ok. I’m not the first parent to have sentimental ideas about their youngest child starting school, and I’m sure I won’t be the last. I know this year, UMC2 will have some highs and lows at school, however, and just like Sheryl Crow, I just want him to have some fun.

Is your youngest child at school now? How did you handle it? Better than me, probably. As always, please let me know. Ok, that’s another rant for another week. Next week, I’ll be previewing Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, because you know…I’m a geek.

Thank you for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, adopt a pet from a shelter, and I’ll see you next week.

1.) Please don’t ask.

Santa Claus doesn’t stop at my house

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Children, Parents

This glorious blog has discussed some pretty strange things over the last three years, by peeling back some of my layers of geekdom. Yes, some of those layers are rotten, slimy, and overripe, but occasionally, there is something personal. I was planning on discussing this blog last Christmas, but the FIFA World Cup got in my way; not that I’m complaining. I mean, it’s a World Cup.

Considering Christmas is next week, it’s time to discuss the big fat red man in the room. Not, I don’t mean Fat Albert; I want to talk to you about Santa Claus and why he doesn’t visit our house.

My wife and I disagree about a lot of things, such as Sour Cream and Chives, corn, Rambo, musicals, socks in the bed, vampires, time travel, and the correct level of dodginess for our corner shop. However, there is something we both agree on; our mutual dislike of Santa Claus.

The crux of this blog is this: As parents, we do not advocate or promote Santa Claus, his flying reindeer, or his merry workshop of happy elves.

Credit: Oren neu dag

That’s a bold and unorthodox statement from a couple raising two children, aged 8 and 5 years old. Before I continue though, I need to point out two things that are quite important to our family:

1.) My wife’s birthday is 24th December, so if you’re keeping score, you would realise that’s Christmas Eve.

2.) My wife and I are not perfect parents. We have never claimed that we are, nor will we ever be. I spend too much money on pizza for that, and we also don’t have all the answers.

So, what’s the deal? Are we Grinches? No. Are we hard-core religious nuts? No. Don’t we celebrate Christmas? Yes, we do, just not Santa Claus.

I’ll try to explain, so if you’re a parent of young children, I hope this makes sense.

My wife and I believe in truism for raising our children. This means we try to explain real information and facts about the world, in ways that are age appropriate to them. This can cover diseases, politics, sports, blood, pollution, movies, books, and many more. Basically, we teach the truth about the world to UMC1 and UMC2, in ways that they can understand, considering their different ages.

As they become older, we give them more information and facts. For every question they ask, we give them an answer they can understand. Ultimately, it comes down to this: we don’t lie to our children.

This of course brings us to Santa Claus. As parents who deal with teaching children the truth about the world, are we really going to teach them that Santa Claus is real?! It goes against the foundation of our parenting; we don’t lie to our children, we teach the truth. It sounds heavy and intense, but surprise, surprise, it’s the truth.

Alright, what’s the harm in lying to children about Santa Claus? It’s all about them believing in the magical time of Christmas, so what’s wrong with that? That’s a great question, so I’ll give you a great answer.

I want you to imagine two scenarios. The first scenario is to imagine you’re one of your children, and through whatever means or methods, they learn the truth about Santa Claus. Every child’s reaction is different, but let’s imagine your child has an epiphany: they realise that not only have their uncles, aunties, grandparents, teachers, coaches, cousins, neighbours, doctors, and nurses, have been lying to them, but their parents have as well.

It means the people they are supposed to trust most in the world, have been lying to them their entire life. It also means, that if your child is smart enough to come to this conclusion, then they may start to think about what else have you been lying to them about.

We don’t lie to UMC1 and UMC2 about Santa Claus, because of many reasons. One is that we don’t want them to ever think that a large man in a red suit, that lives at the top of the world, is watching and evaluating their behaviour, through the use of cameras and spies; but also judging them to be worthy of receiving his presents.

Another reason is about the long game. If we are truthful with the boys now and have built up a level of trust between us, then as teenagers or young adults, they will hopefully trust us. If things have gone bad somewhere in their lives, we want them to feel comfortable enough to tell us anything, but that only happens with trust.

With the second scenario, imagine your child has asked for a remote-controlled car or a real horse from Santa, but on Christmas Day, they discover they received a Matchbox car or a My Little Pony. Ok, kids can’t always get what they want for Christmas, but some kids do.

Now imagine your child discovering that their cousin received a jet ski for Christmas, or their neighbour received a real horse as a Christmas present. When asked, how would you explain to your children why Santa would give more expensive gifts to other children, but not to them? Why is he rewarding other children? How would you stop your children from thinking that maybe Santa hates them, or that they’re bad children? Children aren’t stupid, they notice and remember what other children get for Christmas.

So how do we handle Christmas? It’s easy, we tell the truth. We have explained that Santa Claus is a game that some people and families play at Christmas time. We’ve pointed out that Santa is not real, but it’s not our right to ruin the game for other people and children. If other families want to play the Santa Game, they are allowed to, but we don’t need to.

UMC1 and UMC2 know that the Christmas presents they will be receiving will be purchased by us; not because they have been showing good behaviour, but because we love them and respect them enough, not to lie to them. Regardless of their behaviour, they’re still going to get presents from us, because we love and appreciate them.

We’ve been a one-income family for eight years now, but when UMC1 and UMC2 make Christmas lists, they don’t list the things they want to receive; they list the things they want to give other people.

If it’s a Christmas list for my wife, UMC1, UMC2 and I will discuss her interests and presents that she might like. They enjoy Christmas shopping and making things for people, because we have tried so hard to make Christmas about appreciating the people we love, and giving them gifts. Again, children aren’t stupid, because both my boys know they are getting presents, no matter what; and each one has chosen a present for the other one.

We also treat Christmas like a Christmas office party, where we give presents to each other, and to say well done; thank you for all of your hard teamwork this year, and we appreciate you.

I hope this makes sense. Anyway, upon hearing about our anti-Santa stance, people react in different ways. Sometimes they react like you’ve shown them a giant tattoo of a dead baby on your chest; for other people, it’s like they’re hearing a foreign language and they don’t know what to think or say.

And of course, some people, mainly parents and grandparents of young children react just a tad on the negative side. People mainly accuse us of stealing the joy from our children or ruining the magic of Christmas.

Personally, I find this hilarious, because we have taught the boys that there is magic in the world, and it can be found through education and just by living. Like the magic of understanding cephalopods; volcanoes; the immune system; superheroes; magnets; observing insects; building and working with Lego; Star Wars; watching our favourite teams win; rocket launches; or simply eating pizza, while watching one of their favourite movies. I think you can find magic anywhere with children, I just don’t believe that you have to lie to them to find it.

Advocating and promoting Santa Claus works for many families around the world, and that’s alright. It’s just not for us, and it never will be.

If you have young children, do you celebrate Santa Claus? Does anybody agree with me about kicking Santa to the curb? As always, please let me know.

Since next Monday is Christmas Day, I’ll be posting a much shorter blog. My aim this week is to spend extra time with UMC1 and UMC2, but also to catch up on work from my real job that pays the bills, and allows me to purchase pizzas.

Thank you once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, watch Scrooged this week, and I’ll see you on Christmas Day.

My baby is now 5 years old

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Children, Parents

I want to talk about UMC2. Why? For the people that already know, please just humour me. For those that don’t know, I have two sons, and I refer to them on this blog as UMC1 and UMC2, which stands for Unmatured Clone 1, and Unmatured Clone 2. The running joke is that my wife and I only make clones of myself, hence UMC1 and UMC2.

Sweet? Awesome, I’ll continue. UMC2 recently turned 5 years old, and I feel a bit like Charybdis, but with feelings and hormones. He’s my baby boy, and now he’s five. So I’m left with a question: What does this mean? The short answer is that I don’t know. The long answer is a little more complicated, as you would expect.

Traditionally in New Zealand, a child would start primary school when they turned 5 years old, but legally they don’t need to start until 6 years old; or at least enrolled some where to receive a primary education, like home school. UMC2 is starting primary school in the 1st term of 2024, but that is a blog for another day.

Image by PX41-Media from Pixabay

The point that I’m badly trying to make, is that UMC2 is now old enough to go to school. I can’t speak for any other father; or at least another parent, but it’s a surreal notion to know that my baby boy is old enough to do that.

Both UMC1 and UMC2 make me feel old; especially UMC2, which isn’t that hard, to be honest. Growing up, my home phone number was just four digits long and $1’s worth of 1¢ lollies could send you into a sugar coma. Now days, I feel you need a second mortgage, just to go to the supermarket. We didn’t have multiple streaming services either, we had a VCR and two tv channels.

Anyway, Einstein was right; because of course he was, that time is relative. The last five years experienced by me, have gone extremely quickly. I remember the day UMC2 was born, because we had a home birth and the midwife suggested that I could catch him; though technically we didn’t know his gender during pregnancy. As my wife gave birth to him, I did my best wicketkeeper impression, and caught him with two hands. I was the first person to hold UMC2, which is a truth that will never leave me. Excuse me for a few moments, because my eyes are starting to leak.

Thanks for waiting. I better change the direction of the rant, before I start sobbing and gushing again. My mind wanders a lot, particularly about UMC2’s future. What will it look like? Where will he live? Will he have the opportunity to use a hoverboard, even though it’s currently 7 years behind schedule? Will he marry? Will I be at the wedding? Would I be invited to the wedding?

I can see UMC2 as a teenager explaining a new piece of technology to me, which to him is basic; but to me, I’ll need an university degree to understand it. New lexicon, fashion and pop culture will have to be explained to me, so I hope UMC2 will be patient with…Let’s be honest, that boy will have no patience for his old man. None.

UMC2 is similar to his older brother, but still very different. What works for UMC1, can and will not work for UMC2; but that’s ok. Whatever life lessons UMC1 taught me about being a parent, UMC2 is adding to them. Granted the lessons will be delivered with the washing basket on their head, along with a newly created ripped up cardboard collection, and a treasure box; which is a small yellow plastic box filled with broken items.

Ultimately, I don’t mourn the fact there are technically no preschoolers in my house now. There’s just a new level of shenanigans from two school aged children. Additionally, for recent UMC1 and UMC2 misadventures, there are blogs about my review of their restaurant, and creating a Lego family.

Have you ever had conflicting feelings, when your youngest child turned 5 years old? Please let me know.

Sorry if this blog was a bit odd, but I just needed to empty my mind of this topic, and fill it with things, like rugby and football scores, the politics of Count Binface, and designing the next fort to make in the lounge. Also the FIFA World Cup 2023 starts in under a month, with Australia and New Zealand co-hosting the tournament. Make sure you watch some games!

Thanks once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Remember to walk your dog; read a banned book; beware supermarket check out operators that actually talk to you, and I’ll see you next week.

Our Bizarre Lego Family

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Children, Parents

I want to talk about Lego. Why? Lego is very popular with our family. My wife, UMC1 and UMC2 are great fans of the Danish construction blocks. My wife has her Harry Potter, Hobbit and Star Wars sets proudly on display, while the boys have a small tub of their Lego sets, which can only be described as utter carnage.

Over 75% of their sets have taken apart, cannablised and repurposed. Do you remember Sid Phillips from Toy Story, and his creepy toys? Picture them in your mind’s eye, but now I need you to change them from mashed up hybrid toys to mashed up hybrid Lego, and that would be UMC1 and UMC2’s Lego collection.

If you think that is scary, I can go one better; their Lego is slowly colonising the house. First it was the tub, then the Lego moved to their shared bedside cabinet, then the drawers, the bookshelves, the wooden games box, the kitchen table, and finally, they have started colonising our bedroom.

Our Lego family

Like I said before, the three of them love Lego and take pride in their creations. As for me, I don’t own any Lego. Well, that’s not entirely accurate. Recently, UMC1’s school held a fundraising event centred around Lego. There were many different activities you could do, however the one I’m going to mention was Build Your Own Figure.

Upon learning about the event, we decided that we would think about going. When we discovered that you could build your own Lego figure, my family suddenly started channelling Emperor Palpatine; because they quickly told me that we were 100% going now, followed by three different maniacal forms of laughter. The idea was that when we played with Lego together, we could also use our new Lego figures.

I didn’t own any Lego, so I thought it could be satisfying to build my own Lego figure. Now this was my mistake; I assumed we would be making a Lego figure of our own choosing. However, what I discovered was that 50% of our family were going to make a Lego figure of themselves, while the other 50% were going to make something original and crazy.

Unknown to myself, my wife and UMC1 had spent the time leading up to the event, thinking about what their Lego figure was going to look like. This meant mentally cataloging different Lego body parts, that they could possibly use to construct a Lego version of themselves. They donated hours and hours thinking and planning about their possible creations.

I call this, The Batman Syndrome, because of the amount of designs and back-up plans they both had. The funny thing is that my wife and UMC1, both did not discuss their plans with each other or anybody else.

If you’ve been following my blog for some time, you’ll realise I would not drop a Batman reference without a special reason; and you would be correct. If my wife and UMC1 were Team Batman…well, UMC2 and I were Team Joker. We had the Joker Syndrome, because we were both looking forward to building our Lego figure, but unlike the other two, UMC2 and myself spent no time thinking about possible combinations or designs. I seriously only started thinking about the figure’s design, when we were lining for it.

You were allowed to have: 1 x head, 1 x torso (with arms) 1 x set of legs, 1 x some sort of head wear like a hat, helmet or hair, and 1 x accessory. While waiting in line, my wife and UMC1 were going over the selections they could now see and were busy redesigning their Lego figures in their mind. UMC2 and myself on the other hand, were not doing that.

Eventually it was our turn to build. I searched through the heads, thinking there had to be something cool and I was right; I chose a head that looked like it was wearing a Saiyan scouter. The face did look quite feminine, but I didn’t care, I wanted that Saiyan scouter! For the torso, I selected some type of red ninja armour, on the basis that it was easily different from the others. As for the legs, it was just pure dumb luck that I selected the set that matched the torso.

My Lego figure

For the head wear, I selected an Irish cap, because….why not? It looked amazing and this Lego figure was ready for some craic. The last part was the accessory, so I went for a blaster that had three settings on the top of it. My blaster could fire ice cream, spaghetti and custard. I did this, because I knew UMC2 would find it funny.

It was at this point that my wife asked me what I was doing. I thought this was a strange question, considering everything; however my Spidey-Sense was going off, so I knew something was wrong.

It was at this point that the truth was shown to me. My wife’s Lego figure had blue trousers and a green torso. Her favourite colour is green, plus she wears a blue necklace, just like her Lego figure. She also found some black hair to match her own; as well as a happy face and a coffee cup. My wife needs and survives on coffee. She was extremely proud of her Lego figure.

My wife in Lego form

UMC1’s favourite colour is red, so he dressed his Lego figure with red legs and a red torso. He also found some brown hair to match his own, and a four scooped ice cream, because….yes, he likes ice cream.

UMC1 in Lego form

As for UMC2, his favourite colour is yellow, hence why his Lego figure is yellow. However, he chose green hair, because he said it looked liked the Joker’s hair and he is all about supervillains currently. His Lego figure has a blank face, because he explained that he didn’t want anybody knowing what his Lego figure was looking at. 4 year old logic, it’s the best in the world! UMC2 also added a phone to his figure. The reason was because he didn’t have a phone in his apocalyptic collection, and he wanted one.

UMC2’s Lego figure

So there you have it. Two of us took the activity very seriously and based their Lego figures on themselves, while the other two just made crazy creations. A psychologist would find this very fascinating!

Team Batman
Team Joker

The hilarious thing is that UMC2 has claimed my Lego figure, because he wanted our two Lego figures to be together.

And that’s it for this week. I need to watch Last Week Tonight, so I’m out of here! Thanks for reading, walk your dog, stay away from Sour Cream and Chives, and I’ll see you next week.

Six catchphrases my family says

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Children, Parents

I want to talk about catchphrases. Why? My family uses a few of them for different reasons, like the Penguin does with his umbrellas. Some are funny, while others are very practical in nature; though they are not exclusively used by my wife and I, we all know what they mean.

Let’s look at them, shall we?

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

1.) Calm the Farm

This gem came from my late mother-in-law. It refers to when there was a ruckus on the farm, the farmer would try to calm the situation down.

We break it out when UMC1 and/or UMC2 are becoming too loud, too excited, or when they’re fighting over some extremely important reason; like someone ate more chips than the other one; so we say, “Calm the farm, guys, calm the farm.”

2.) Team Indy

As some of you know, our dog is called Indy. We often joke about how our team was formed, basically like our origin story. First there was Indy, then he decided that living with my future wife was a good idea. The two of them went on a recruitment drive for a new team member, and I was asked to join. The three of us then added two more members to the team, thus giving us a team of five.

But what is the name of your team, Scott? Easy, we named it after the original team member.

The catchphrase is like a rallying cry in a way. Sometimes when a team member is having a bad day or when things have gone worse than Edward Scissorhands visiting the Museum of Paper, we try and regroup and remind ourselves, “Hey everything is going to be alright, we can do it. We’re Team Indy!”

3.) Toilet Drama

Toilet drama is what my wife and I call all of the arguments and negative experiences, surrounding UMC1 and UMC2 going to the toilet. Whether it’s about a roll of toilet paper being pulled off onto the floor; the stool being kicked over; denial of needing to go to the toilet, when they obviously need to go; or not washing their hands aka dunny hands; as well as everything else not mentioned.

If there is any drama connected to the toilet, then it’s Toilet drama; and we DON’T do Toilet drama.

4.) Roasty Toasty

This is an easy one, because it’s all about being warm and snug. Roasty Toasty is a catchphrase we say to UMC1 and UMC2, when we are putting them to bed; especially during late Autumn, Winter and early Spring.

The boys sleep in the same room and since the house is over 110 years old, it can get extremely cold. So when the boys go to sleep, we make sure they’re wearing winter pyjamas and several blankets, so they will be; and say it with me, Roasty Toasty.

5.) Being a Master

Firstly, this is not a Doctor Who reference, though that would be pretty cool. What I’m talking about, is giving the boys a job, where they can be the master of something. It sounds odd, but I’ll give some examples.

Say I need some help putting out or bringing in the rubbish and recycling bins. Asking if there was a Bin Master to help, will get a far more positive response from UMC1 and UMC2 than anything else. Other masters include: Washing Master, Shoes Master, Plate Master, Vacuum Master, Trolley Master, Lego Master, Duplo Master, Tidying-up Master, and the ultimate master this family has; the Biscuit Master.

Each week, some new Team Indy member becomes the Biscuit Master; which means they are the Master of Biscuits. They get to select the biscuits from the supermarket, regardless of any other person’s preference. We work on a rotation system, so since a new Biscuit Master is chosen each week, and UMC1 and UMC2 take this job EXTREMELY seriously.

6.) Kick in the guts

This is a classic catchphrase from my father-in-law; Kick in the guts. So, there is no stomach kicking involved here, just some oddly placed words. Kick in the guts means to wind something up or to finish something. We mainly use it when we are getting the boys ready for bed. After they’ve had some books or done a puzzle or drawn some art or played a board game, and all that’s left is to brush their teeth and go to bed; well, then it’s time to Kick in the guts.

We also use it when it’s time to tidy up; finish getting ready in the morning; or when it’s time to leave somewhere and go home. It’s time to Kick in the guts.

Does your family have any special catchphrases? If you do, what are they? Please let me know. Right, I’ll off to watch Doctor Who: The Power of the Doctor, with my wife because we’re geeks. Thanks for following me, read some banned books, place your bets on the next UK Prime Minister, and I’ll see you next week for my Black Adam review.

What does living in a Post-COVID society look like?

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Parents, People, Politics, Science, Social Media

I want to talk about living in a society that has moved past COVID-19 and what it looks like. This could have been achieved through the use of magic, time travel, or just good old science. There are many countries that have come out of the other side of COVID-19, while others are still battling and fighting to keep their country afloat.

On 13th September 2022, the New Zealand Government scrapped the COVID-19 Protection Framework (traffic lights system), and on 28th September 2022, the last government vaccine mandates ended for health and disability workers.

It’s only been a few weeks, but what is life like now in Aotearoa New Zealand? Having given COVID-19 a flying kick in the face, along with an atomic elbow, how is our society responding to the lifting of vaccine and mask mandates? How are we progressing on getting back to normality?

My incoherent and insane observations are based on things that I have seen, hear, or read about in the last few weeks, whether it’s local or national. Whether this information is positive, negative, or in the middle…I’ll let you be the judge for that.

So without further ado, I will get straight to the matter. I will not be farting around discussing matters that are not important to the topic. Delaying this message will not help anybody; there will no procrastination here. I want to be direct with my information, so there will be no ambiguity or vagueness. Dithering, prolonging, or dawdling with this content, would be extremely unproductive and inefficient. I will not be dragging my feet, giving the you runaround, or shilly-shallying; there’s no way I would ever do that to you. No way; I would never waste your time…wait, what was I talking about?!

Image by Jeyaratnam Caniceus from Pixabay

How Aotearoa New Zealand is adjusting to Post-COVID life

  • The Anti-Vaxxers are still proclaiming the pandemic was fake, because a.) they never were infected or b.) they were infected, but they had little to no symptoms.
  • Children’s illnesses like chicken pox; measles; hand, foot and mouth; and school sores have returned. This is because after two years, the public have forgotten every single lesson COVID-19 taught us.
  • Some candidates in local regional council elections are promoting their anti-vaxx, anti-mask and climate change denying beliefs; while some are trying to hide these beliefs.
  • Interest rates, supply chain issues, food and petrol prices are increasing; but house prices, community health measures, and the public’s support of the All Blacks are decreasing.
  • Since the death of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, the concept of New Zealand becoming a republic, has been an increasing topic of conversation at the water cooler, dinner table, and at the pub.
  • Wearing a face mask in public has gone from being viewed as idiotic, to heroic, and back to being idiotic again.
  • Some businesses and companies have removed their plastic barriers, centred on interactions with the public; while others are committed to keeping them, to protect their staff.
  • Many extroverts across the country are now having a “livin’ la vida loca” lifestyle, while many introverts are remaining home, because they feel unsafe.
  • Regardless of gender, ages, and codes, some team sports are finding it difficult to field players, because people don’t want to be around other people. However individual sports are booming, especially hiking, surfing, biking, running, swimming, tennis, and golf.
  • Jehovah’s Witness are back knocking on doors. When I met the two guys at my house, they were so excited to be back talking to the public, that I talked to them for 15 minutes before letting them down.
  • And this is not even diving into the unemployment, domestic violence, youth suicide, crime, or mental health statistics.

On a brighter note, we are hosting the 2021 Rugby World Cup, from 8th October to 12th November. It features the 12 best women’s rugby teams on the planet…but because of COVID-19, the tournament was delayed a year, and the games are only being played in three stadiums; two in Auckland and one in Whangarei, which are all near the top of the country. It would take me some time to hitchhike there.

I’m not sure what else to say about this; somehow New Zealand is better off, and equally, worse off because of surviving COVID-19. The biggest change for me is the number of conspiracy groups that were on the fringe of society, are now nearly mainstream. It’s the realisation that a family friend is an Anti-Vaxxer, or your barber is an Anti-Masker.

There are some deep lines of division in this odd little country, that I fear will we never really be able reconcile. It’s a hell of a thing to listen to people that you admire and respect, start discussing conspiracy theories about climate change, vaccines, masks, and anything else. Somehow, I think COVID-19 has emboldened them, like taken away their fear of sounding crazy. But that could be another blog for another day.

The new House of the Dragon episode is up, so I need to watch it before I read spoilers. I’m stupid and read too many things I shouldn’t. Thanks for reading my little project, walk your dog, read some banned books and I’ll see you next week.