Category: Children

Christmas with a Three Year Old

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Children, People

I want to talk about Christmas, in particular, experiencing Christmas with a three year old. Why? Because experiencing anything with a three year old, let alone Christmas, can be extremely hazardous.

So what am I actually talking about? Have you ever laid the ground work for Christmas, by preparing a three year old for the event? As a parent, you discuss what Christmas means, why we celebrate it, what’s going to happen, but also the fact that other people will be receiving presents; not just them. It’s more difficult than a Rebel character surviving Rogue One.

I say this because this is UMC2’s first Christmas, where he’s old enough to help us prepare for it. This of course had led to some interesting conversations, that can be broken down into three sections.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

1.) Lists

UMC2 has been hilarious leading up to Christmas. My wife and I have sat down with him, and tried to list things that his family members like to do, over a few separate occasions. For myself, he said I liked eating and sleeping; which is very true.

The next step was to look at that list, and to think of some gifts that person would like. An example would be UMC1; he likes books and turtles, so a turtle book would be a clever idea for gift.

In theory, this worked on paper, however not so much in reality. When we were discussing these lists, UMC2 wanted to create one about himself, because he was concerned, everybody had forgotten about him.

We promised him that wasn’t the case, and we already had a list for him. That was a really dumb thing to say, because he wanted to see the list and for us to read it out. UMC2’s reasoning was that he wanted to make sure that his gifts would actually be things that he actually liked.

We tried in vain to explain to him, that if we told him what the gifts would be, then they would not be a surprise for him anymore; so on Christmas Day, there would be no surprises for him, because he would know the contents of all of my gifts. UMC2 was completely fine with that, and proceeded once again to campaign to see the list.

2.) Shopping

After we had made our lists, UMC2 and I went Christmas shopping on a budget, which is always interesting. I invited UMC2 to help with me this, because I wanted him to understand what was happening, and to be involved. You may have already guessed where this is headed.

UMC2 was amazing at some gift suggestions for other people, he really was. Only one of his suggestions was Spider-Man related, which to be honest, was a miracle in itself, because he loves Spider-Man and the Flash.

As we had finished the shopping, I told UMC2 that we would be going home. This puzzled UMC2, because he was under the impression, that I was also going to be buying him some Christmas presents, under his supervision.

We had already purchased his gifts, but they were safely hidden away, but UMC2 did not know this. He started explaining that while we were out Christmas shopping, I could purchase some gifts for him.

I responded by explaining, that if I took him to a store to buy something for him, it would not be a surprise. UMC2’s solution to this problem was that he would close his eyes, so he wouldn’t be able to see the gift.

3.) Negotiating

For the last part, this only happened in the last week of Christmas. UMC2 came up to me and asked if he could please open some of his gifts, that were under the Christmas tree. I asked him if there was a special reason why this needed to happen.

UMC2 replied that he knew the contents of several gifts, that were for different people. He goes on to say that he hadn’t told anybody what their gifts were; so because of this fact, was it possible for him to be rewarded for this, by opening some of his own gifts.

I told him that he’s made some really good choices, but that was not going to happen. UMC2 tried to renegotiate by saying, that he hadn’t broken or ripped anybody’s gifts, so was it still possible for him to be rewarded for this, by opening some of his own gifts.

I smiled, because I thought that was quite clever. Anyway, UMC2 did not get to open any gifts early, but not though the lack of trying. On Christmas Day, he was amazing. He handed out gifts to everybody, before opening his own gifts. I thought for a three year old, that had tried several different ways to learn the contents of his gifts, he showed a lot of patience.

A side note to Christmas morning; both UMC1 and UMC2 had slept in. It was at 7.45am, when I started playing AC/DC’s Thunderstruck, when they both rolled out of bed, because we had family coming over at 8.00am. They soon got over being woken up, at the realisation that it was Christmas!

Sorry if this blog was a strange one, but I’m trying to spend as much time with my family as I can over the holidays, so I can go back to playing cricket, building Lego, and flying X-wings round the house, with my boys.

Anyway, I hope everybody had a great Christmas, look after yourselves, and I’ll see you in 2022.

It’s a fine line between keepsakes and hoarding

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Children2 Comments

I want to talk about passing on or donating your children’s old belongings. Why? Because being a bloke, I didn’t foresee the different emotions that I would have, when donating items that previously belonged to my boys.

When my wife and I announced our first pregnancy, we did it by posting a photograph of three Super shirts: two t-shirts and a baby singlet. When we announced our second pregnancy, we did it with four Star Wars shirts: three t-shirts and one baby singlet.

We kept the Superman baby singlet, along with the baby Star Wars singlet, because they hold sentimental and emotional value for us; especially me. What I didn’t expect was to have an emotional attachment to furniture and other items.

Now I realise that every family would have to go through this at some stage; about decluttering the house and the kids’ belongings. This can mean sorting out books, that they no longer read; toys they no longer play with; and also clothes that no longer fit them.

Over the last few years, we have tried to pass on as much stuff, as we possibly could; purely because a lot of those items, were actually given to us. I think it would bring us some type of negative karma, if we were going to sell things that we were given to us. Does that make sense?

Image by PX41-Media from Pixabay

As a parent, but especially as a father, I’ve been having conflicting feelings about this. An easy example of this, is when we donated some clothes recently; which were clothes that UMC2 no longer fits. As I was packing the clothes into a bag, I came across a blue Spider-Man t-shirt, that I purchased for UMC1. I remember the day and the store that I purchased that t-shirt. As I was holding it in my hands, I was hit with a mixture of feelings; it’s a small piece of clothing, that no human member of our family fits anymore.

I was surprised that I felt some sadness because of it. Both my boys had worn that t-shirt, and now it was too small for either one of them. I knew I had to pass it on. I had to donate it, so it could find its way to another child, that would love it as much as what my two boys did.

Another example was six months ago, when we sold our wooden cot. I remember buying it, because I didn’t have enough money, so I had to sell some of my Spawn comics to cover the cost. Spawn actually helping children sleep is such a crazy concept to me!

Both my boys have their own beds now, but my house is very small, so they actually have to share a bedroom. UMC2 has not slept in the cot for an extremely long time, so we had packed it up and left it in our tiny bedroom.

Some months had passed and I made the observation that our bedroom was fast becoming a scene from Steptoe and Son. We needed to get rid of the cot. We both decided we should paint it, so we could try to sell it. The strange thing is that, when the entire time the cot was dismantled, I was just frustrated with it. The reason was because it was just sitting there doing nothing, taking up a massive amount of space, in an already small bedroom.

It was a first world problem; I get it, but it was still something that we needed to rectify. We managed to sell the cot and mattress online, so I was relieved that it was going. A problem was created though, when the buyer arrived to pick it up. It was my job to assemble all the pieces, to make sure nothing was missing. It was at this point; and as stupid as it sounds, I felt an emotional attachment to the cot, that I didn’t know was actually there.

This piece of bedroom furniture had protected both my boys, while they were asleep for five years and I couldn’t help but think, this was a massive chapter in our children’s lives that was closing. I really didn’t think it would have that much of an impact on me, but it did. I remember my wife and I building the cot for the first time, and I remember the first night UMC1 slept in it.

Later on, I had to dismantle and pack it up when we moved cities, and finally be able to reassemble it when we purchased our house. It was just some pieces of wood and a mattress, but it had been a huge part of our lives. When the buyer came to pick it up, I helped him take it to his car and hoped his children would get joy from it, as he drove away.

I’ve discovered that as a parent, I’ve wanted to keep many things from the boys’ childhoods; whether it’s socks, shoes, t-shirts, shorts, or any type of clothing and toys. But if I did this, the house would be chaos. Like I said before, as a guy, I really didn’t think I would have an emotional attachment to children’s furniture, but also to their old toys and t-shirts; things the kids no longer or can use.

The books that the boys would ask us to read, 100 times a day, no longer get touched. They will be replaced with new and more complicated books, so they can be read 100 times a day. Even with the meagre amount of toys that we have, a lot of them don’t get played with anymore.

I think with donating and passing on old items, it’s great knowing that they are going to be used by someone else, even if you never meet them. However this also means, the boys will receive new and donated items, so the cycle can continue. And over time, those items will get replaced as well. I guess what I’m really talking about, is the fact that with a lot of the items that we donated, I discovered that I had more of an emotional attachment to them, compared to the boys.

I know this sounds strange coming from a guy, but I would love to have some type of profound and wise quote about this, but I just don’t; it’s just life. It’s always been like this and that’s how it’s going to continue to be like this. I think as a parent, I really don’t want us to be a family of hoarders. Though to be fair, with the boys collecting sticks and stones in their room, maybe hoarding is in their blood as well.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you soon.

Parent life: Farts, socks and lack of sleep

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Children, People

I want to talk about being a parent. Why? Because it’s the hardest and happiest job I have ever had and I also have it for the rest of my life.

Now for the people out there that actually read this blog; firstly I am very grateful. Secondly, some of you may actually be parents, or thinking about becoming parents. I don’t know if I can offer any life hacks with this, except talking about my experiences.

My experiences as a parent, are also as a father. This means I have been called “Da-da, Dud-dud, Dad-eee, Daddy, Dad and Oh no, I meant the other one!” I don’t know about you, but I walk around with a lot of emotions and thoughts, relating to being a parent and my children. UMC1 is now six and attends primary school, while UMC2 is three and goes with my wife to Playcentre; which is an ECE learning centre, but it’s run by parents.

With UMC1 and UMC2, we try to raise them the same, but that’s not really possible. Because of this, parent life has proved to be…well, interesting. There have been several conversations and incidents that are seared into my memory involving my kids. Conversations that I never thought I would be having with another human being, but equally experiencing a truly insane moment with my children.

To start the ball rolling, do you know what a meconium is? Basically it’s a newborn baby’s first poo, which is a dark green colour. At the birth of my first son, I wore a Superman t-shirt at the hospital, because, well, I’m a geek. Anyway, after UMC1 was born and he had a cuddle with his Mum, I was allowed a turn.

We all forgot about the meconium, so I was horrified when it happens. However my wife, midwife and nurse thought it was hilarious. I had to wash the Superman t-shirt when I got home, to remove the kryptonite infused poo. Twice. Welcome to parenthood, Daddy!

The universe was listening and watching that day, because 3 years later, UMC2 relieved his meconium on my wife. He enjoys hearing the story about the time he did a poo on Mummy.

Let’s now look at some unique conversations that only a parent could experience.

One conversation went like this:

UMC1: Daddy, can you sell people?

Me: Well, you can sell your time to people. That’s what work is. You trade or sell your time to other people for a job and they give you money. You can do that. But no, you can’t actually sell a person, because you can’t own a person. There are laws about this, a person can’t own another person, so you can’t sell them.

UMC1: Ok, but what if they are really annoying?

Me: Oh, I get it. Let’s clear this up right now. We are not selling your brother, alright? We are not getting rid of him. He’s a part of this family, he’s your brother, we are not selling him. Ok? Whatever the problem is, we can sort it out.

UMC1: It wouldn’t work out, so that’s ok.

Me: What do you mean?

UMC1: UMC2 is useless, no one would give him a job anyway.

That was a situation where I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry.

UMC2 is quite into threats at the moment. By this I mean if you ask him to do something that he doesn’t want to do, he may threaten that he’s going to “…put you in the rubbish bin, so you’ll eat garbage” or my favourite is when he doesn’t like what he is hearing, so he will say to me “Put your words back in your mouth.”

When he is doing a jiggly dance and refusing to go to the toilet, he sometimes threatens that he’s never going to poo ever again. It’s very difficult to keep a straight face when this occurs.

There is also another aspect of parental life that nobody ever warned me about: farts. An example of this is when UMC1 is sits on me and farts. Once UMC1’s fart was so powerful, not only could I smell it and hear it, I could also feel it. I mean, it was like my leg had been dipped into the Bog of Eternal Stench.

Another time, UMC2 was sitting on my head while wrestling, then he decided to fart on my head. Has anybody ever does this to you? It’s a horrible feeling, especially when UMC2 rolled off my head and started running to the toilet, while clutching his bottom and shouting back to me, that he does not need to go to the toilet. Stinkor and UMC2 have a lot in common.

Image by Ri Butov from Pixabay

Socks are proving to be an ongoing issue in our house; or should I say missing socks. I would put some socks and gumboot/shoes on UMC2, then strap him into his car seat. By the time I have walked around to the other side of the car; opened the door; sat down; closed the door and put my seat belt on; all of UMC2’s socks and footwear are off. Seriously, they are all off! His normal excuse is that his feet were melting. It’s like he’s been training with Mister Miracle, the way he can escape his socks.

Also when folding the washing, I find socks that belong to the boys, but they have no partners. This is not a new problem to the world, however would Black Panther or Wonder Woman ever have this problem? The frustrating thing is that I can usually find the missing sock later on, however they are usually under a bed, behind a door, in the toy tub, in the dog’s Fortress of Solitude, out the dog door, behind the couch or in the firewood basket. I feel like I’m Lara Croft searching for treasure in my own home.

Which leads us to lack of sleep. I remember years ago and before I had children, someone suggested that I sleep as much as I could, because I wouldn’t have another good night’s sleep for 18 years. I smiled and laughed at this. Oh, I was very naive and stupid.

I also believe UMC2 may have superhuman powers. The reason is because before my wife and I go to bed, someone always checks on the boys, because they share a room. Once in bed, we fall asleep; however at some point in the early morning, I would wake up and discover UMC2 has teleported and is fast asleep between my wife and myself. He can neither climb into our bed, as quiet as a ninja, without disturbing anyone and goes to sleep or he can just teleport. I choose to believe he can teleport.

Try and imagine also, you are lying in bed asleep, when someone starts kicking your head and your body, because apparently they don’t have enough room in the bed, even though they are lying sideways or pretending to be a starfish.

And somehow it’s my fault, UMC2 will point out, that he can’t sleep because 1.) I am breathing too loudly, so I need to stop breathing and 2.) He doesn’t have enough room, so I should leave the bed and sleep outside.

Or UMC1 is awake and reciting different songs from school or experimenting with making different emergency vehicles sirens. Then later on at work, colleagues have to ask why I am having energy drinks for my morning break: it’s easy, my children believe that sleep is for the weak and I am very, very weak.

All and all, it’s fun. The insanity of living with two small people that believe the height of comedy, is the smell of a dog that has rolled on a dead crab or the highest level of cuisine, is a plate of hash browns and nuggets; means as a parent, you need to remember to laugh at the crazy parts. Just don’t let your children see you laughing at what they’ve done, otherwise they will keep on doing it, until someone gets hurts or gets told off. Whatever happens first.

Anyway, thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week.

Children watching Star Wars: What’s the correct order?

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Children, Movies

I want to talk about Star Wars. Why? Because it’s close to Star Wars Day and the movies have the potential to be a little problematic, especially for a first time viewer. Now I love Star Wars and one day, I will make a blog about this; but it is not this day. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds…oh wait. Sorry, my fault, wrong franchise.

I would just like to point out before I go any further, that what I’m going to be discussing is a First World problem. As long as everybody understands that, then we are sweet.

Anyway, I’m one of the hundred of millions of lucky people, that have seen the Star Wars movies.1 Because of this, I can describe the plots of the films, as well as explaining the beginning and end of the entire story. The issue with Star Wars is that the order of the films that have been released, are not in chronological order.

For those people who already know this, I’m sorry, but this needs to be stated. The release order of the Star Wars films are such:

Star Wars: Episode IV-A New Hope (1977); Star Wars: Episode V-The Empire Strikes Back (1980); Star Wars: Episode VI-Return of the Jedi (1983); Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace (1999); Star Wars: Episode II-Attack of the Clones (2002); Star Wars: Episode III-Revenge of the Sith (2005); Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008); Star Wars: Episode VII-The Force Awakens (2015); Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016); Star Wars: Episode VIII-The Last Jedi (2017); Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018); Star Wars: Episode IX-The Rise of Skywalker (2019).

There have also been numerous cartoon shows like Droids, Ewoks, Clone Wars; The Clone Wars, Rebels, Resistance, Forces of Destiny; as well as the increasing live action shows like The Mandalorian and others being developed.

So I need to propose a question to you. If someone that had never seen the films before asked you, what film should they start watching first or even what is the best viewing order, what would your answer be? Do you start with A New Hope because you’re a purist, or The Phantom Menace or maybe a different film?

Here’s an even better question; what viewing order would you recommend for children?

Now I’m a geek, but I am also a parent. Because of this, there are many different genres, mediums and subjects, that I’m interested in, so I want to share them with UMC1 and UMC2. However that is the problem. An example of this problem is that I’m a fan of space. Whether it’s books, articles, videos, lectures or an event, I am all over it like Yogi Bear and a picnic basket.

This resulted in my geekgrasm over the NASA Mars 2020 Perseverance Rover landing. Since sitting down and discussing what happened, UMC1 and UMC2 have become space obsessed. UMC1 started school 8 weeks ago and is consuming an insane amount of information from books and videos. UMC2 on the other hand, has started building rockets and asking people (via 2 year old language) about whether they know anything about heat shields and rovers.

So the issue is this: if I had never shared my love of space, would both of my boys still be interested in space now or not? Basically this is about nature vs nuture. Do I share my interests with my boys, knowing it could influence them into liking the topic/subject or not introducing the topic/subject and wait to see if they can discover it for themselves?

That is how I feel about Star Wars. I have wanted to teach and introduce the boys to a galaxy, far, far away; but at the same time, I haven’t. This is the fear I am pushing my love of it onto them and they may not like it.

We have some Star Wars items around the house on display, but we have never gone into great depths with them or watched any of the films with the boys. I haven’t wanted to push Star Wars onto them, because I didn’t want to become the stereotypical parent that did that.

This changed when I was given a R2-D2 toy for Christmas last year, through Secret Santa at work. Both UMC1 and UMC2 fell in love with R2-D2 and wanted to know everything about him. They were gobsmacked to learn that some of the prints in our bedroom were of Star Wars; there were some Star Wars children’s books on their shelves; some of the action figures donated to them from older family members, were from Star Wars; and also that there are a series of movies and television shows about Star Wars.

Again, I’m going to point out that I have never pushed Star Wars onto UMC1 and UMC2. If they discovered Star Wars and liked it, then it’s ok. If they didn’t like it, then it would still be ok.

Because of the boys’ interest in Star Wars, we showed them a DVD of Lego Star Wars movies called The Padawan Menace and The Empire Strikes Out. The boys thought they were extremely funny, especially the droids and Yoda.2

I had mentioned to them, that we had the set of Star Wars films, so one day we could all sit down and watch them. However, this is the issue. What Star Wars film do you start watching first? I feel bad, because I know of children younger than UMC1 and they have seen the movies. Part of me feels like a crap father because of that.

I have thought about this a lot and just like Caesar crossing the Rubicon, the die is now cast. I have made my decision, though my wife does not agree with me.3 She believes that the best viewing order for children or anybody to be honest is simple: Start at Episode I and march forward, all the way to Episode IX. It would be: 1, 2, 3, Solo, Rogue One, 4, 5 ,6, 7, 8 , 9. That sounds fairly simple, right? Watching them in chronological order makes a lot of sense. However, to me it does not.

Image by JCK5D from Pixabay 

This is my viewing order:

Start at A New Hope, then watch Empire. The next film would be The Phantom Menace. WTF?! It would be: 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, Solo, Rogue One, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Of course the observant readers would have noticed that the viewing order requires Episode IV and V to be viewed twice; but also after the first screening of Episode V, the next film is Episode 1, not Episode VI. I fear I have some explaining to do.

The first film needs to be Episode IV: A New Hope. It sets the stage of the saga and you can meet the players; plus think about the opening scene, when Vader walks in. You have no idea what the hell is going on, but you can bet all of the credits in the galaxy, that dude is the bad guy.

After A New Hope, we can move onto Empire. Hoth, Imperial Walkers, Yoda, Bounty Hunters, Lando Calrissan, Boba Fett, Vader vs Luke and….the twist. Not just any twist, but one of, if not the greatest twist in cinematic history.

I want you to remember the different emotions that you felt, when you saw Empire and witnessed the twist. Did you feel denial or anger? Did you want to reason with it and try to negotiate with it? Did you cry or just accept it? Working through the five stages of grief may or may not have helped you, but whatever it did, it changed your perspective on how movies could be told.

Now imagine watching Empire for the first time, already knowing the twist. Imagine if George Lucas made Episode I first, and slowly worked his way towards Episode V, where Luke’s learns the secret. As a viewer, you discovered this information back in Episode III, so it’s not a big deal.

If a child starts with the Phantom Menace, they will not get the reality changing revelation, when they watch Empire later on. The impact of the twist is not there; thus starting with A New Hope, then onto Empire, means children can still experience the shock of the twist and I want to be there, when UMC1 and UMC2 learn of it.

Alright, it’s established Episode IV first, then Episode V, but why Episode I next? The answer Pinky,4 is that after the twist, I want UMC1 and UMC2 to stop and go to the prequels. The reason I want them to do this and miss Return of the Jedi, is because I want them to see the relationships growing between Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padmé, but also the rise of the Empire and the failure of the Jedi. I feel this is very important, because after watching Episode I, II, III and Solo, you reach Rogue One.

The scene where a shuttle is landing on Mustafar and you see Darth Vader walk onto the platform. You are hit with the knowledge, “That’s Anakin. Oh no, he’s still trapped in that suit. He’s still walking around in it. That poor man.” That’s powerful.

From there, you meet Anakin and Padmé’s children (again) grown up and also, an older Obi-Wan in Episode IV. This of course leads us to the Vader vs Obi-Wan fight, which we have already seen the first time. However, we now understand the back story of the two characters, so it’s actually Round 2 for them.

After this, you watch Empire again, so you can understand how these characters got to be where they are. From there, you watch Episode VI-IX. Of course you can fill in the gaps whenever you want with The Clone Wars, Rebels and other television shows.

So that’s it. This is how UMC1 and UMC2 will experience the Star Wars saga, though I’m not sure when it will happen. At what age do you show children the films? I don’t know the answer to that question, but what I do know is this; whenever we do it, I will be sitting right beside them, with the biggest dumb grin on my face, because I’ll be the happiest father in the world.5

Thanks for reading and see you in a fortnight!

1 Yes, I have seen Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure and Ewoks: The Battle for Endor…but I am not counting them.

2 What can I say, they have good taste.

3 A wife and her husband not agreeing on something; has this ever happened in human history before?

4 The real answer is same thing we do every night Pinky, try to take over the world! (Insert evil mouse laugh).

5 As for the greatest fathers of all time, Darth Vader and Magneto will not be receiving a nomination.

ANZAC Day and children

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn Children, History

I want to talk about war. Why? Because our national remembrance day is coming up and I’d like for UMC1 and UMC2 to attend an event. Now before I start waffling on with my little lecture about that, I do need to discuss our remembrance day and it’s history. I am going to try to do this without glorifying war, but also acknowledging the true horror or war. I’m also writing this from a country that is not at war currently or suffering through a civil war. With that said, here we go…

Our remembrance day is known as ANZAC Day and it’s observed on 25th April. It is marked in New Zealand, Australia, United Kingdom, Turkey, Canada, France, Malta and many, many other countries. It stems from the disastrous Gallipoli campaign in the First World War.

In a nutshell, the Gallipoli campaign was about the Allied Forces invading the Gallipoli peninsula, in Turkey. The idea was to weaken and knock the Ottoman Empire1out of the war, because they were supporting the Central Powers of the German and Austria-Hungary Empires. The Allies believed if they could take control of the Turkish Straits, they could also control the flow of supplies through the Suez Canal. They did this through naval bombardment and amphibious landings; though after 10 brutal months, they came to the conclusion, that it was never going to work and retreated.

Among the several Allied countries involved in the campaign, was a division of troops comprised of Australian and New Zealand forces, which became known as the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps; or also known as ANZAC. They landed on the shores of Gallipoli on 25th April 1915, which eventually became known as ANZAC Day.

The purpose of ANZAC Day and I can imagine for various different remembrance ceremonies around the world, is to honour the men and women whom gave their lives, in the defence of their own country or the protection of others.

I am not going to speak for every New Zealander, because I don’t know that many people, but also I won’t. Reflecting on ANZAC Day to me, has always been mixed with pride and sadness. I was taught at school a long time ago, that these people “…gave up their tomorrows, for our today.” In addition to this, ANZAC Day is strange for me, because it was also my grandfather’s birthday; so it’s a day of reflecting upon death and sacrifice, but also of life and heritage.

Through the large cities, big towns and small communities of this country, there are statues, cenotaphs, plaques and war memorials everywhere. For the majority of the year, I think people see them as part of the landscape or in the background of the country; like rivers, trees, rugby fields and beaches. However, for a small period of the year, we actually see them and give them the respect they deserve.

Over the years, ANZAC Day has come to commemorate not only World War I soldiers, but military personnel from all armed conflicts and peace keeping missions.

With the exception of 2020, ANZAC day starts with a dawn service at 6am. People wear poppies, speeches are given, prayers and hymns are spoken and wreaths are laid at different war memorial sites around the country. The Last Post 2 and the Rouse are played, two minutes of silence is observed; along with the reading of the fourth verse of Laurence Binyon’s ‘For the fallen’ and the singing of the national anthem. Some services also have fly overs and gun salutes.

Later in the day, in the various communities up and down the country, parades are held. These can involve the Army, Army Reserve, Air Force, Navy, Scouts, Air Cadets, Sea Cadets and possibly anybody else I have forgotten, so I’m sorry about that.

There is also the parade that everybody is there to see: the Diggers aka the Veterans. Surviving members of the armed forces that have served over the years, they put on their finest clothes, display their medals and march (walk or get wheeled) down the road; to hundreds, if not thousands of people applauding for them.

As the old soldiers march, you can see various emotions on their faces, like pride and happiness; but also a lot of sadness. To me, it’s like survivors guilt, as in they made it home, but their mates did not. There are a lot smiles at an ANZAC Day service and parade, but also a large number of tears.

Descendants of the soldiers also walk in place of their family member, whom has passed away or simply unable to be there. These people can also wear medals awarded to the family member and young children have been seen wearing them, marching with the veterans.

I have never been fortunate to experience ANZAC Day in Australia, but I understand it is very similar to New Zealand, in the way it’s commemorated.

This leads us to UMC1 and UMC2. For many millions of children all over the world, war is a daily event, so their knowledge of it, sadly is through experience. For others, war is an alien concept, that is very far removed from their lives.

This year, my wife and I have decided to take the boys to one of the services; either the dawn service or the parade. They are usually up causing carnage well before 6am. However having them fully dressed, fed and waiting in the early morning darkness, could be a step too far! Maybe the 10am service, possibly.

Anyway, the point is that if they are going to an ANZAC Day service, they would need to what it’s about; hence talking about war to them. UMC2 is nearly three, so we have decided to give him a simpler version of what his older brother received. UMC1 is nearly six, so we needed to explain the meaning of ANZAC Day, but also discussing the concept of war.

We discuss a vast array of subjects in our house, these usually pop up naturally when the children see or hear something and they come to us with questions. But war has never come up naturally, a fact that I’m very grateful for. We didn’t know exactly what to say to him, war is such an abstract concept when you are 6 years old and living in peacetime. So we sat and wrote down some key points we wanted to discuss with him. This was difficult, because how do you talk of war when all your parenting strategies revolve around talking things out and using compromise to find solutions to your problems?

Below are the key points we discussed with UMC1, so he could comprehend the concept. Please feel free to use these points with your children; if it helps of course, but you can always change, alter or adapt them to suit your family, culture or country.

  • ANZAC Day is a solemn, remembrance day and not a holiday to celebrate.
  • What ANZAC means is Australia and New Zealand Army Corps. It is our two countries working as a team, standing together.
  • Every 25th April, we remember the people that fought for our country and also the people that died.
  • Sometimes leaders of countries make “silly choices” and try to take over other countries. Sometimes they treat their people extremely badly.
  • The United Nations (UN) is an organisation, made up of different representatives from countries around the world. It is their job to talk to these countries and try to find peaceful solutions to these problems, but sometimes this does not work and a war can start.
  • War is when two or more groups or countries, fight about something in a physical way. This means trying to stop, hurt or kill the members of the other country or group.
  • Our defence force is made up of men and women in the Army, Navy and Air Force. Their job is to protect you from danger from outside of the country, but also to step in to help when other countries need support. They can do this by building new infrastructure like roads, schools and hospitals. They can also help the injured; support with resettlement and housing; and also supplying people with food. Not just fighting.
  • The Army has soldiers that work on land, the Navy has sailors that work on ships, while the Air Force has people that work on and fly aircraft.

I have made a small resource list to help children understand ANZAC Day/Remembrance Day, as well as the concept of war.

Books:

A Day to Remember by Jackie French and Mark Wilson.

ANZAC Ted by Belinda Landsberry.

Dawn Parade by Philippa Werry and Jennifer Cooper.

Grandad’s Medals by Tracy Duncan and Bruce Potter.

Lest We Forget by Feana Tu’akoi and Elspeth Alix Batt.

Lest We Forget by Kerry Brown, Isobel Knowles and Benjamin Portas.

My Grandad Marches On ANZAC Day by Catriona Hoy and Ben Wood Johnson.

Simpson and his Donkey by Mark Greenwood and Frané Lessac.

The ANZAC Puppy by Peter Millett and Trish Bowles.

The Last ANZAC by Gordon Winch and Harriet Bailey.

Videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rapkYgnXxWA

Thanks for reading and see you in a fortnight!

1 Currently known as the Republic of Turkey.

2 In military terms, the Last Post is a bugle call that signals the end of the day. It is also used at commemorative ceremonies like Remembrance Day and ANZAC Day.