Kia ora everybody, this is my unofficial return from my break. I know, I’m supposed to be staying away from this place, but this is only a small blog post, compared to the ridiculous long essays I can sometimes write.
I just wanted to cover some of the great expectations for Some Geek Told Me in 2025.
These can include:
More spelling mistakes.
More grammatical errors.
More badly chosen topics.
More movie previews/reviews.
A new series of blogs about animals.
The return of the ever-popular Tour of the Solar System.
More Food and Prejudice posts.
More science-related content.
The annual blogs about Star Wars Day and Free Comic Book Day.
The return of the We Didn’t Start the Fire historic references.
More comic and manga blogs.
Updates about the Coalition of Chaos (The current New Zealand Conservative Government).
Increase subscribers.
Some of these expectations are more achievable than others, and it is your task to determine which ones are realistic.
Credit: Freepik
Alright, that’s it for today. I’ll still be posting daily on Twitter and Mastodon, which is just a shameless plug because nobody else is going to do it for me. Thank you for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me, and I’ll see you next week for the official return of the geek.
If you’re still nursing a headache from the party, I won’t shout. If you’re still partying, then you’re better than me. And with that, 2024 has eaten the last slice of pizza, spilt wine on the couch, vomited on the carpet, and left the house for good.
Don’t panic, though. It’s time for 2025 or MMXXV, if you prefer, to party hard for 365 days. The Gregorian Calendar is still popular at our house; however, there is a small campaign to swap to the Shire Calendar. I’ll let you know how that goes.
Happy New Year and I hope this year will be better for you than the last one.
You can expect more badly written and ill-advised weekly blog posts from me because I don’t know how to do anything else.
I’m currently on holiday and hoping that UMC1 and UMC2 will be willing to be seen in public with me, even if I’m not wearing Minecraft clothes. I’ll continue posting daily on Twitter and Mastodon, but my unofficial return is on 6th January, and my official return to New Zealand’s fifth least favorite website will be on 13th January.
Until then, Happy New Year, be safe and I’ll see you next week.
So this is Christmas And what have you done? Another year over And a new one just begun And so this is Christmas I hope you had fun
Thanks, John and Yoko.
On behalf of everybody involved with Some Geek Told Me, we hope everybody has a Merry Christmas! I’m on my Christmas break, so I’m taking time away for the blog. However, I’ll still post daily nonsense on Twitter and Mastodon, so don’t fret.
The Pōhutukawa tree, often referred to as the New Zealand Christmas tree, is an iconic symbol of the holiday season. Its bright red flowers, blooming in December, are not only used for decoration but also feature on Christmas cards. This tree’s association with Christmas dates back to the mid-1800s and is deeply rooted in local culture.
Thank you for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me through 2024. Look after yourself and your family, and I’ll see you on 1st January 2025.
I’ve been saving this blog post for some time, for obvious reasons. I mean, why discuss Christmas in March or September? Even for me, that’s a little strange. No offence to Emily and Stephen.1
Christmas is just around the corner, and from an advertising standpoint, it has been present since late September or early October. Whether through cards, literature, songs, movies, or posters, we have all been exposed to the essence of Christmas—the birth of Jesus Christ, among other themes.
Credit: Working in New Zealand
Other themes include snow, fireplaces, eggnog, snowmen, ice skating, jackets, jerseys, snow, snow, and more snow. I know this because different mediums have explained this to us for years.
Bing Crosby had a massive hit with White Christmas, Charles Dickens succeeded with A Christmas Carol, and Die Hard 2,Home Alone, and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, showcase snow-related Christmas violence. These works of pop culture, and many more, have helped to reinforce the notion that Christmas is an event that involves snow—or at the very least, happens in Winter.
We sing songs about dashing through the snow, display pictures of snowmen on windows, and dream about having the perfect Christmas Day experience by having it snow. It’s great and it sounds like a lot of fun. It does. We are told that this is the most superior Christmas experience on the planet, and it’s what everybody strives for and wishes for.
If you’re a follower of this wayward blog, you will realise that something is coming; and you would be correct. I don’t have a problem with a white Christmas. I lived in London for three years and the closest I got to that was a white Boxing Day. I loved it, and I enjoyed the experience of being cold on Christmas Day.
I do have a small issue with how Christmas is portrayed in the media though, specifically as a Winter holiday. It seems to be presented as the only version. The truth is, and this might frustrate Flat Earthers, that the Earth’s axis is tilted at an angle of 23.45° relative to its orbit. This tilt means that countries in the Northern Hemisphere experience Christmas in Winter. If they’re fortunate, they may even have snow on Christmas Day.
The thing is that not everybody gets that, and it’s not because they don’t want it. It’s because they can’t have it, since countries in the Southern Hemisphere will experience Christmas in Summer. Like myself in New Zealand.
Christmas here involves shorts, jandals, t-shirts, sand, barbeques, cricket, sunglasses, sunscreen, and pavlovas. That being the case, it can be difficult sometimes to take media seriously when you see children having snowball fights at Christmas in a movie, when your Christmas Day is 25°C in the shade.
Stuff like that I find hilarious, however, what really twists my undies is not Christmas media from the United States or the United Kingdom, or any other Northern Hemisphere country promoting white Christmases. I understand that and accept it.
No, to my eternal dismay and horror, the biggest promoters of a white Christmas to New Zealanders, are other New Zealanders. I would love to joke about this, but I’m not. In a Southern Hemisphere country, which means we have Christmas in Summer, what do other New Zealanders do? You’re smart, so I know you’ll get it.
Yes, businesses dealing with customer services, whether they are hairdressers, clothing stores, or supermarkets, decorate their businesses with snowflakes and snowmen. It could be on their windows, website, or hanging from the ceiling, but they are covered in Winter-related paraphernalia. Why do you have Frosty the Snowman in your window? It’s 32°C outside!
Not that I’m huge into Christmas decorations, except for the tree and wreath, but I often think about how having more accurate decorations would be better. Sorry, I’m a geek that judges, but I’m trying really hard not to do it!
Seeing Santa Claus wearing shorts and sunglasses, Rudolph playing cricket, kiwis wearing Santa hats, or a sandman at the beach, are more apt for us. Do we complain about it? No, not really. Who’s going to listen to us anyway?
I would love for us to stop looking as intelligent as the Coyote, after his new ACME product has failed, yet again. I love my quirky country, I just wish we could stop trying to be like our Northern cousins and just be the best vowel-slaughtering version of ourselves.
That was a weird one, so I hope somebody might relate to it, though my blogs can be off-centre sometimes.
Since Wednesday is Christmas Day, I’ll put up another blog post, but it will be shorter…..because I’m on holiday. Yay!!! This means I’ll be having my Christmas break, which will be for two weeks.
Thank you once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, go watch Merry Little Batman and the Superman teaser trailer, and I’ll see you on Christmas Day.
1 Bonus geek points for understanding those two references.
I realise there are more pressing issues confronting the world currently. These include the danger of climate change, the Sudanese civil war, the cryptocurrencies of Cristiano Ronaldo and the Hawk Tuah girl, Israel’s genocide of Palestine, when the Superman trailer is going to drop, and whether The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim, will rule them all at the box office.
In saying that, I must acknowledge last week’s announcement of TIME’s 2024 Person of the Year. If you’ve been living under a rock or listening to Chumbawamba’s Tubthumping at full volume for a week, then you would have heard that the lucky winner was 2016’s winner, Donald John Trump. You know, the star of Zoolander, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, Two Weeks Notice, The Little Rascals, and Eddie.
As you can imagine, the concept of Donald Trump winning TIME’s 2024 Person of the Year, has delighted millions of people and equally enraged millions more. On one hand, people are praising the decision, because he’s the OG of MAGA, defeated Kamala Harris in the US Presidential election, survived an assassination attempt, and is the proud father of three of his five children.
On the other hand, Trump’s been busy. He was convicted on 34 felony charges for falsifying business records related to hush money payments to a porn star, found liable for sexual assault and defamation, and has more legal issues concerning the IRS, and the Trump Organisation, among others.
So the two questions on many people’s minds are, yes, bananas do grow upside down, but also, why was a convicted felony and President-elect selected as TIME’s 2024 Person of the Year? Sadly, the answer is boring and nuanced, because, and say it with me, TIME’s Person of the Year is not what you think it is.
Credit: TIME
Let’s go back a few steps to 1927, when TIME, the American news magazine, first introduced the award of Person of the Year to Charles Lindbergh.1 Now you would think gracing the cover of TIME for the Person of the Year, would be a great honour, worthy of the amazing contributions you have made to humanity for the past year.
Again, you could imagine that it was because you had developed a vaccine, brokered a peace treaty and ended a war, discovered a new early human species, won the World Cup, was the star of a $2 billion blockbuster, or won an election. If you thought this, you would be wrong, oh so wrong.
According to TIME editors, to be awarded Person of the Year, you need to fit this criteria:
“Featuring a person, group, idea, or object that “for better or for worse … has done the most to influence the events of the year.”
I’m going to let that sink in for you. Influencethe events of the year. Not curing children’s diseases; not clearing mines from a warzone; not freeing sex slaves; not persecuting racists, like the Ku Klux Klan, or Neo-Nazis; not developing carbon capture devices; or not fighting for human and animal rights; but influencethe events of the year.
After reading that, and for better or for worse, tell me that person(s) is not Donald Trump. Did I want it to be him? Of course not, because both my grandfathers would return from the grave to beat some sense into me if I did.
However, this is the reason Donald Trump was awarded the title; not because he’s a good, honest, positive, decent, law-abiding and amazing person, but because he has dominated the news cycle in 2024. He really has. Even here in New Zealand, we have read and watched his shenanigans this year, whether they were election-based or legal-based.
To highlight the selection, I give you two quotes from TIME”s website on the announcement, to better explain the choice from their point of view:
“For 97 years, the editors of TIME have been picking the Person of the Year: the individual who, for better or for worse, did the most to shape the world and the headlines over the past 12 months. In many years, that choice is a difficult one. In 2024, it was not.”
“Today, we are witnessing a resurgence of populism, a widening mistrust in the institutions that defined the last century, and an eroding faith that liberal values will lead to better lives for most people. Trump is both agent and beneficiary of it all. For marshaling a comeback of historic proportions, for driving a once-in-a-generation political realignment, for reshaping the American presidency and altering America’s role in the world, Donald Trump is TIME’s 2024 Person of the Year.”
Nobody on the planet had dominated and influenced the news cycle in 2024 more than Donald Trump. Even Palestine was drowned out by the MAGA Emperor. Using TIME’s definition of “Featuring a person, group, idea, or object that “for better or for worse … has done the most to influence the events of the year”, Donald Trump is the clear winner.
I know this decision has upset people, but I want to leave you with two things; one negative and one positive. If you’re angry about the choice, don’t blame Trump. He’s a 78-year-old narcissist, who doesn’t have the need, desire, or ability to change.
Don’t blame TIME, by trash-talking or boycotting them. It’s their rules and they are just following them.
If you want someone to blame for Trump winning this award, blame yourself. Blame your parents, children, spouse, siblings, neighbours, and politicians. Blame teachers, lawyers, journalists, reporters, scientists, librarians, talk show hosts, activists, social influencers, podcasters, singers, actors, and world leaders, for this mess.
You could blame everybody and anybody you’ve ever talked to in the last 10 years. Hell, you can even blame me. The reason is that all of these people, regardless of their political philosophy and beliefs, or mine, all have something in common: whether it’s positive or negative, we all talk about Trump.
Any attention that man gets is good attention, because it means people are talking about him, and that’s what he wants. And we have all given it to him, which is why he has dominated the news cycle.
By ignoring his crazy rants and lies, along with his illegal dealings, we are condoning his behaviour; therefore, we are enabling him. By calling out his crazy rants and lies, along with his illegal dealings, he can play the “I’m a billionaire victim because the false news and the deep state are out to get me” card; therefore, we are enabling him.
He’s like a male succubus, but instead of feeding and living off sexual energy and activity, he thrives on communication. The more people discuss him, the stronger he becomes. His ego feeds off the attention. But hey, what do I know? Even writing this stupid post will probably mean Trump will reach Super Saiyan God status now.
As for the positive part, just remember that even though Trump won this award, he joins some other previous top-quality winners of the award like Chiang Kai-shek and Soong Mei-ling (1937), Adolf Hitler (1938), Joseph Stalin (1939 and 1942), Richard Nixon (1971 and 1972), Henry Kissinger (1972), Ruhollah Khomeini (1979), Jeff Bezos (1999), Vladimir Putin (2007), and Mark Zuckerberg (2010).
Trump and the rest of the League of Losers can’t hold a candle to recent winners like The Ebola Fighters (2014), Angela Merkel (2015), The Silence Breakers (2017), and Greta Thunberg (2019); along with my favourites, The Protester (2011), The Guardians (2018), and Volodymyr Zelensky and The Spirit of Ukraine (2022).
And with that, I’m going to shut my mouth and go to bed. We are well into Summer here, which I’ll discuss somewhat next week. Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, keep watching Syria and Palestine, and I’ll see you next week. Christmas is coming!
1 The award was actually first named Man of the Year, but eventually, equality caught up.
And here we go again! One of my infamous bad ideas is still continuing to pay dividends, with the 7th entry detailing the historical references in We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel. Yes, I know the song is 35 years old, and other people have already done this before, but they haven’t done it this badly.
For the uninitiated, here are the previous entries:
Because you’re clever and eat carrots, you will realise we are up to the glorious year of 1955. And just like last time, strap yourself in because I’m going to be firing some facts at you! Good luck!
Credit: Collinson & Cunninghame Ltd: Publisher
1955
Albert Einstein
Arguably, the most famous scientist of the 20th century, if not for the last 3,000 years, was Albert Einstein. Born in 1879, Einstein was a theoretical physicist who researched and published work on the photoelectric effect, Brownian motion and the Einstein relation, special relativity, the principle of mass-energy equivalence (E=mc2), statistical mechanics, and many more outstanding contributions to science.
I would be as mad as a guest at one of the Mad Hatter’s tea parties if I didn’t mention his work on general relativity, which changed the world. Einstein’s theory of general relativity was once described as, “…the highest intellectual achievement in the history of humanity.” In my poor opinion, I believe it’s an accurate statement.
Einstein died on 18th April 1955, at Princeton, New Jersey, USA. In scientific and academic circles, Einstein was a rock-star scientist, and he crossed over to become a pop culture icon. For the death of a modern famous scientist, I’m going to offer the late great British theoretical physicist and cosmologist, Stephen Hawking, who died in 2018.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955) at home in Princeton. 1944. Credit: Unknown
James Dean
1955 was a difficult year for science lovers and movie fans because just five months after Einstein died, James Dean died on 30th September 1955, aged only 24 years old.
Dean was a Hollywood heartthrob, who had a bad boy image. He became a professional actor in 1951, and his acting experience covered theatre, television, and film. In saying that, the two films, East of Eden and Rebel Without a Cause, helped to boost his rising star into the stratosphere, both being released in 1955.
Dean was driving his new Porsche 550 Spyder on U.S. Route 466, when he crashed at the junction of SR 46 and SR 41 near Cholame, California. His passenger, Rolf Wütherich, survived and sustained multiple injuries, but Dean was killed instantaneously.
A contemporary example would be the actor, Paul Walker, who died in a car accident on 30th November 2013.
James Dean in the 1955 film “Rebel Without a Cause.” Credit…John Kobal Foundation/Hulton Archive, via Getty Images
Brooklyn’s got a winning team
We’re going to break free of celebrities dying and focus on a sports team. A baseball team to be precise. In the 1950s, the Brooklyn Dodgers were a Major League Baseball team operating out of, you guessed it, Brooklyn, in New York City.
They were in the National League, where they had won the pennant 10 times previously. However, 1955 was a big year for the Dodgers, because they won the National League again, but this time over the Milwaukee Braves. In the World Series, they met the New York Yankees, which was the fifth time in nine years that the Dodgers and the Yankees met in that format.
The 1955 World Series was special for the Dodgers, since they defeated their rivals 4-3, winning the trophy for the first time. If you remember Roy Campanella from the 1953 post, you’ll also remember that Campanella played for the Brooklyn Dodgers.
In 1957, the New York Giants and the Brooklyn Dodgers moved to California, becoming the San Francisco Giants and the Los Angeles Dodgers.
I’ve said this before, but baseball is not in my wheelhouse of expertise, so I’ll leave it up to a baseball fan to give us a modern equivalent for the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers, because I have no idea. However, I do know that the Los Angeles Dodgers won the 2024 World Series, beating the New York Yankees again, 4-1.
The team photo of the 1955 World Champion Brooklyn Dodgers at Ebbets Field. The Dodgers won their first World Championship in Brooklyn. Credit: walteromalley.com
Davy Crockett
This is an odd one, but I’m sure we’ll bumble our way through it. The great Davy (David) Crockett was a folk hero in American culture, being a politician, militia officer and frontiersman, from 1786-1836. He became famous for his hunting, coonskin cap, politics, military service, and his death, at the Battle of the Alamo.
In 1954, a television mini-series named Davy Crockett was released, and it became extremely popular as Davy Crockett-mania swept the United States, with Davy Crockett merchandise exploding everywhere. The show had five episodes, with Fess Parker starring as the “King of the Wild Frontier.”
In 1955, Walt Disney Productions edited and recut the original first three episodes into a theatrical film named Davy Crockett: King of the Wild Frontier. The film made $2.15 million at the box office, which would be $25.3 million today, adjusted for inflation.
In contemporary times, turning a television programme into a movie, via means of a reboot, is commonplace now. Just look at 21 Jump Street, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Baywatch, Charlie’s Angels, and so many more.
But even though Hollywood of 2024 can be guilty of rehashing and rebooting movies, as well as pumping out sequels, editing episodes of a television show and repackaging them as a theatrical film, is a line that Hollywood of 2024 would not cross. Maybe.
This is a poster for Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier. Credit: Walt Disney Studios
Peter Pan
The character of Peter Pan, the leader of the Lost Boys, and eternal foe of Captain Hook, has been translated into many mediums over the years, such as plays, literature, animated and live-action films, and television programmes, since his creation in 1902.
On 7th March 1955, NBC Television did something quite radical. The Peter Pan Broadway Show was ending soon, so the studio decided to broadcast a television adaption of Peter Pan, using the original Broadway cast.
What makes this production so special, was that it was broadcast live and in colour. It amassed 65 million viewers, even though colour television sets were still developing in popularity. It was such a success, that NBC did it again in 1956 for a second live broadcast.
Comparing this reference to a modern one is difficult because live colour broadcasts are the standard for television viewing in 2024, however the ability to stream your favourite television programmes via devices like tablets, computers, or phones, has changed the way people interact with the world, but also how we consume our entertainment, for good or for ill.
Mary Martin, Kathleen Nolan, Joseph Richard Stafford, and Robert Harrington in Peter Pan (1955) Credit NBC Studios
Elvis Presley
It’s taken us until 1955, but we are ready to talk about the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley. Like James Dean, Presley’s star power was developing, so on either 20th or 21st November 1955, aged only 20 years old, Presley signed a record contract with RCA Records. Although he was legally a minor, technically, his father signed the contract.
His previous contract with Sun Records was purchased for $40,000, which was audacious for the time. During this period, Presley also signed a contract to create two new music businesses to showcase his musical talents and to expand his growing stardom.
I’m not down with the kids today, but some contemporary equivalents would be Justin Bieber, Adele, or Rihanna.
Elvis signs his first contract with RCA Records. Credit: Graceland
Disneyland
Disneyland opened on 17th July 1955, in Anaheim, California, USA. It was the first theme park created by the Walt Disney Company and the only one that Walt Disney personally designed and constructed.
It took only a year to build for $17 million, which adjusted for inflation, works out to be around $153 million. 28,000 people attended the opening, but things didn’t go exactly to plan, with several mistakes happening, which drew negative attention and press.
Walt Disney went on to refer to the opening day as Black Sunday. In 2024, there are six Disney theme parks located in California, Florida, (United States) Hong Kong, Tokyo (Japan), Paris (France), and Shanghai (China).
An aerial view shows Disneyland as guests attend opening-day festivities in Anaheim, California, on July 17, 1955. Credit: Associated Press.
So for 1955, we covered the deaths of a theoretical physicist and an actor, a baseball team, a movie, a television broadcast, a music contract, and a theme park. This took longer than I had anticipated, so 1956 isn’t going to be any easier. Cool.
And that’s it for another week. Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. I’m still haunting Twitter and Mastodon, so please drop by for some useless daily information.
Before I go, keep your eyes on Syria, because after ruling and brutalising the country for 24 years, Bashar al-Assad has been overthrown and fled to Russia. Having survived 13 years of civil war, will Syria be able to keep moving forward with progress, justice, and democracy, or will Assad’s absence cause more conflict? I have no idea, but I hope it’s the former and not the latter.
Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, go and tell a Nazi to fuck off, and I’ll see you next week. Christmas is coming!
After smelling something disgusting at a market the other day, it reminded me of two things; vomiting and writing a new Food and Prejudice blog post. Because the original blog post was such a success, let’s pull a Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and be better than the original.
For any unfortunate culinary fans that missed the first entry on this journey of truth, you can find it here, where I explained my disdain for Sour Cream and Chives, Corn, and Beetroot. I feel I need to clean my fingers because I just typed their names.
To give our fellow homo sapiens some context for this thoroughly thought-out project, the idea is this:
I enjoy eating food, mainly because it helps me to live, but also because of the fantastic tastes and flavours. However, as you can imagine, I don’t love everything. There are some foods that I dislike so much, that I’m prejudiced against them.
I would also like to mention that if you like and enjoy any of the entries on the lists, please don’t get upset too much, because you’re a better person than me, since you can actually eat those foods. Ok? One small thing to add is that the word “food” in the context of these blog posts, also covers drinks. Awesome.
Without further time wasting, because as we all know, The Honourable Simeon Brown MP does not like time wasting, or going slow, so let’s crack on with Food and Prejudice: Volume 2!
Where do I start on this hybrid of woe? Asparagus is not as dangerous as Corn, but that’s like comparing an orca to a wolf. One is more dangerous than the other, but they are both predators and out to get you; just like Corn and asparagus.1
On paper, asparagus has a lot going for it, but in what I like to call reality, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. This limp and flaccid spring vegetable, which is what people call asparagus and eat, are the young shoots of the plant.
Its texture is slimy like a mutated worm with an algae addiction, the smell is like pure petrol, and its taste is like the offspring of a leprosy-afflicted cockroach and a depressed bamboo.
An interesting fact about asparagus is that if the shoots are allowed to develop and grow, it can produce fruit in the form of red berries, which to nobody’s surprise, can be toxic to humans. Yet another reason to fester ill thoughts about this terrible vegetable.
This is an odd entry because I love fruit, so I should enjoy eating pears. I’m emphasising on the word should, since I really want to like pears. I just can’t. I feel disappointed in myself over this, however, this pity party for one ends, when I remember that pears are deceptive.
They look like an apple that has been on one too many rides around a particle accelerator, hence the shape. I can overlook this since it’s not the pear’s fault it looks like that. The problem is that my support for pears fades when it comes to the taste.
Even though the pear looks like a misshaped apple, it tastes nothing like an apple; unless there is a new variety of apple that tastes like sawdust and sand. It’s so gritty, seriously, it’s gross. Like I said earlier, I really want to like pears, but my body is allergic to foods that make me want to clean my tongue after eating them.
Like myself, and every other member of the human race, we all make mistakes and have faults.2 My wife is no exception to this rule, because not only does she love Corn, she also enjoys ginger beer. Yes, yes, I know nobody is perfect, but I was devastated to learn that ginger beer was one of her favourite beverages.
I try to be a supportive and loving husband by sometimes purchasing ginger beer for her. I never think it through though, because if she wants to drink it, the bottle/can will need to be opened, and frankly, when that happens, that’s it for me.
Ginger beer tastes of regret and guilt, mixed with disappointment, stress, and failure; however, it pales in comparison to the smell of ginger beer. Once I can smell that awful odour from my wife’s open bottle or can, I have to fight the instinct to start twisting and distorting my body in discomfort.
My mind is screaming at me, “Even though you love that woman, you need to get away from her and that smell. Run, don’t walk. Run as fast as you can and get away from that smell, because if you don’t, she’ll offer you a taste of that ginger-flavoured septic discharge, and the words that fall out of your mouth will result in a divorce. Run!”
I hate ginger beer.
Credit: iStock
Do you agree with any of my food prejudices? What are yours? As always, please let me know.
We are officially in December now, so the Christmas chaos can officially start. Are you ready for it? I’m not, but what’s new?
So that’s it for another week. Thanks for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, go and lose a board game to a child, and I’ll see you next week because we’re going back to 1955. See you there.
1 I spell Corn with a upper case C, because Corn is dangerous and deserves your respect. When you’re not paying attention, Corn will get you, because Corn is always stalking you.
2 This of course does not include Chuck Norris, since he is the exception to the rule. I mean, why would he notbe?
I want to talk about culture wars today. Why? Well, it’s easy, because as popular, hilarious and crazy as they are, they seem to be spreading everywhere faster than The Flash’s diarrhoea.
Old Mac (Insert name of politician/celebrity) had a country, E-I-E-I-O!
And in their country they had a culture war, E-I-E-I-O!
With a culture war here, and a culture there,
There a culture war, here a culture war,
Everywhere a culture war,
Old Mac (Insert name of politician/celebrity) had a country, E-I-E-I-O!
Culture wars have been making headlines for a few years, around different places on our beautiful planet. Even here, in Godzone, sadly.
Before I venture into my lecture, let’s take the time to define what a culture war is, because just like Christmas or Salt and Vinegar chips, it can mean different things to different people. However, for today, we are going to define a culture war as:
1.) A conflict that is usually between two different social groups, that disagree about a particular subject that involves challenging ideas, virtues, or beliefs, that are political, social, or religious.
2.) It’s not really a war, but rather a battle of words, backed up with protests and other expressions of free speech.
I’m not an expert on this because if I were, I would have much more fun with it! Maybe in the last 10-15 years, culture wars have slowly invaded our lexicon, like cuckoos laying their eggs in another bird’s nest.
They have infected our homes, schools, workplaces, supermarkets, and even the highest levels of government. I mean, our glorious 79-year-old Deputy Prime Minister, The Right Honourable Winston Peters, loves discussing how he works against the “secret woke agenda.”
The culture wars of today involve debates about areas like politics, religion, society, and entertainment, but also views concerning prejudice, racism, sexism, and bigotry are getting tossed around like a hot potato. Sadly, even science has been dragged into these ridiculous discussions because of conspiracy theories.
There is also a case to be made that culture wars are just a different form of class war. Food for thought? Preferably pizza, thanks.
So, what are some examples of culture wars? Great question; you’re good at that! I’m looking at this through the lens of a New Zealander, but I think some culture wars are global. Here are some of them, but not all of them; but they emphasise the “us vs them” mentality, depending on what side of the fence you sit down or land on. These examples get people angry and passionate, whether you are for or against them.
Do any of these culture wars seem familiar to you?
Having bilingual names for government departments, along with street and road signs.
Promoting an indigenous or native language.
Drag story time at libraries.
Painting rainbows over pedestrian crossings.
Pushing a “woke” agenda, or just being “woke”.
Hakas should only be performed on a sports field, marae, or on a stage, and nowhere else.
Being pro-Israeli means you’re anti-Islamic.
Being pro-Palestinian means you’re Anti-Semitic.
Embryos should have the same rights as humans; so IVF and abortion are murder.
Immigrants are the root cause of our country’s problems.
Governments promote smoking to generate revenue.
If someone can’t speak the official language of the country they live in, they should leave.
Islam is evil.
Pronouns are a source of conflict.
Urban policies vs rural policies.
Annexing or invading another sovereign country is fine and legal, if, to you, that country is not legitimate.
Vaccines and face masks don’t work.
The Earth is Flat.
Climate change is a hoax and not real.
Indigenous people should not be given a representative voice in government, nor have any extra or special rights.
Burqas, hijabs and turbans should be banned in Western countries.
The Great White Replacement Theory.
The gender you were assigned at birth should determine the gender related to the public and school toilets or changing rooms you use. This applies to both children and adults.
Members of the LGBTQIA+ should not be able to marry each other, along with not being able to adopt or work with children.
You’re a Nazi or fascist if you believe in right-wing politics or conservative policies.
You’re a communist or socialist if you believe in left-wing politics or progressive policies.
People should be allowed to peacefully protest, but only for the values and beliefs you agree with.
Politicians who are multi-millionaires but show conflict of interests.
Is hate speech a form of free speech?
Critical Race Theory.
Black Lives Matter.
Defending a country’s right to protect itself, means they need to break international law to do so.
Wars in another countries are not relevant to my country, because we don’t look like them, therefore, they are not our concern. Eg Sudan and Myanmar.
Punishments for breaking anti-homosexual laws.
MeToo movement.
Major tax cuts for the ultra-wealthy, landlords, and large corporations.
Depending on the country you live in, having great access to firearms.
Whitewashing history.
There are only two genders.
Suppressing some people’s right to vote is important because they might not vote for your party.
The vandalism and removal of statues of historical figures linked to racism, slavery, colonisation, murder, sexism, or genocide.
The increasing amount of book banning, challenging, and censorship, across school and public libraries.
Any person born a male, should not be able to participate in any female sports; regardless of age or level of transition.
Males should not be able to work in a female-dominated industry.
Females should not be able to work in a male-dominated industry.
Criticising another country because they have a theocracy government, but actively promoting and advocating for your own country to be one as well.
Totalitarianism, authoritarianism, and dictatorships are effective because they can weed out the undesirables.
And the list could go on and on.
Given the rise of culture wars worldwide, I’d like to offer some reasons why and how this has happened, or maybe I’m just talking out of my arse. Again, I’m coming at this from a New Zealand perspective, but also observations worldwide, so some culture wars could be known or relevant to you.
1.) The name “culture war” is relevantly new, but the concept and notion of it are not. At a best estimate, some culture wars started over 150 years ago. The concept is not new, just the name.
2.) With elections, whether they are at local or national levels, always seem to bring out an increased amount of warriors, fighting in their particular culture war. I feel this is done to target minorities, or fringe communities, and highlight how dangerous they could be because they are different and not mainstream.
The result is that people are encouraged to become passionate and empowered about these ideas, instead of focussing on larger and more important subjects like crime and unemployment rates, or the state of the economy.
It’s a form of distraction; it’s all smoke and mirrors. You can’t vote for/against or understand an important policy if politicians only even talk about trivial things that don’t matter.
“Don’t worry about the tobacco lobbyists having meetings with government ministers, you should worry about the man dressed as a woman, reading books to children at the library.”
3.) Using social media, conspiracy theories and misinformation makes it harder for people to differentiate fact from fiction, truth from lies, and understanding from bigotry.
“I read it on the internet, so it must be true.”
“I saw a news report about it, this is serious!”
“I agree with the TV host, they need to be stopped. We need to think of the children.”
Sound familiar? It’s easier to believe in a beautiful lie, than to accept the awful truth; especially if someone you trust is saying exactly what you’re thinking.
Judging people is easier than helping people, isn’t it?
4.) I think culture wars can bring out the best and worst of humanity, which causes more division within our communities; especially with gaslighting. Oh, gaslighting, where would the righteous few be without gaslighting? Not living in the White House I would imagine.
How many arguments have you had with your father over public protests? Or your mother over immigrants? Or your co-workers about vaccines, or drag story time with your siblings?
If culture wars keep getting pushed onto us by politicians, religious leaders, celebrities, and billionaires, then who wins? The conservatives? The progressives? I’ll tell you this for nothing, I may not be able to tell you who wins, but I can tell you who loses, and that us. You, me, the vulnerable, the prosecuted, the poor, and the oppressed.
I think some culture wars need to be explored, debated and argued. It helps you to draw a line in the sand, so you can understand and define your own morality, but also to understand where your neighbour, friend, child, parent, or spouse’s ideas are coming from. Some things need to be discussed.
Some culture wars, on the other hand, don’t need to be discussed, because it’s about common sense, or the lack of it. I mean, you’re not going to win an argument with a person who has the IQ of a carrot, are you? In these cases, I feel it’s better to smile and ignore them, so let them live their best life by being stupid. Let them do them, so you can do you.
The problem is identifying the real culture wars from the batshit crazy ones; which I’ll admit, I’m still learning how to do.
Did I miss any culture wars? What culture wars are you invested in? As always, please let me know.
Thanks for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, and I’ll see you next week.
Also, if you happen to see Vladimir Putin or Benjamin Netanyahu cruising around in a country other than Russia or Israel, please do me a favour, and tell the ICC and your government. That would make my year.
The world seems a little dark and bleak at the moment, so what better time for Some Geek Told Me’s Tour of the Solar System to return! That and I believe it’s well overdue. So it’s back, the tour nobody in the history of this planet has asked for is back for another month.
If you’re one of these unlucky people who have missed the tour stops, fear not because here is the list of the previous stops.
Our last amazing tour stop was at Uranus’ largest moon, Titania. This means we’re moving on from discussing the Jake Paul and Mike Tyson fight, and on to the other moons of Uranus. Not all of them, of course, but some of them.
A near-infrared image of the six largest moons and eight inner moons of Uranus as captured by the James Webb Space Telescope on 4 September 2023. Credit: NASA’s James Webb Telescope and team
Even though Uranus’ bigger siblings, Jupiter and Saturn, can get a lot of attention from space enthusiasts, Uranus can still bring them to the yard. Uranus has 28 confirmed moons, which is more than the moons of Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, and even Pluto combined. That’s impressive.1
As I mentioned in my excellent blog post about Uranus, the names of its moons are not derived from Roman or Greek mythology like other moons in our solar system, but rather characters from the works of William Shakespeare and Alexander Pope. I’ve always thought this was literary genius. You would not find that information on any Flat Earth social media account, I promise you.
Since we met Titania last time, I will only discuss the next five largest moons, purely because I’m old, hungry, and tired. Plus the All Blacks won five games, then lost one, so I’m wallowing in self-doubt.
So, let’s do this!
Oberon:
Oberon is named after King Oberon, the king of the fairies, from Shakespeare’s rom-com, A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Oberon has a diameter of 1,522 km, making it the second-largest moon of Uranus, after Titania. Oberon is the farthest of Uranus’ five major moons, at an average distance of 584,000 km.
It was discovered by William Herschel in 1787; the same William Herschel who discovered Uranus in 1781. Like several other moons in the solar system, Oberon resembles our Moon, because of its colour and crater-covered surface.
And just because I think it’s cool, some of Oberon’s surface features bear names like Antony, Caesar, Coriolanus, Falstaff, Hamlet, Lear, Macbeth, Othello, and Romeo; which are named after famous Shakespearian characters.
Processed using green, violet, and unfiltered images of Oberon (moon of Uranus) taken by Voyager 2 on January 24 1986. Original data is taken from NASA/JPL-Caltech.
Umbriel:
Umbriel was discovered by William Lassell in 1851. By the way, please remember Lassell’s name, because he is going to pop up again. Umbriel has a diameter of 1,169 km, making it the third-largest moon of Uranus. Its name is taken from a character in the 1712 poem, The Rape of the Lock, by Alexander Pope.
Umbriel orbits Uranus at about 266,000 km, which makes it the third farthest from the planet among its five major moons. Umbriel is covered with craters and canyons, but what makes it odd is the fact that the surface does not reflect a lot of light, which is less than half as much light as Ariel, another of Uranus’ moons of similar size. This works out to be only 16% of the light that strikes its surface is reflected.
According to spectrograph data, scientists believe that about 40% of Umbriel’s mass is a dense non-ice component, along with water ice and carbon dioxide on the surface. Umbriel is a moon that scientists would love to research more.
The southern hemisphere of Umbriel displays heavy cratering in this Voyager 2 image, taken Jan. 24, 1986, from a distance of 557,000 kilometers (346,000 miles). Credit: NASA/JPL
Ariel:
And speaking of Ariel, this moon is crazy. It’s the fourth-largest moon of Uranus, with a diameter of about 1,157 km. It was discovered in 1781, by Lassell again, on the same day of his Umbriel discovery. As for the name, Ariel was named after two characters, from the aforementioned The Rape of the Lock, but also The Tempest, by Shakespeare.
Out of the five major moons of Uranus, Ariel is the second closest to the planet, with an orbiting distance of about 190,000 km. Unlike Umbriel, Ariel is the most reflective moon of Uranus, and it’s believed that Ariel’s surface is the youngest of Uranus’ moons, making it the brightest.
Ariel is tidally locked with Uranus, meaning it rotates synchronously with its orbit, so it keeps the same face toward the planet; just like our Moon does to Earth. This process has meant that given its distance from the Sun, Ariel experiences extreme seasonal cycles of permanent day or night, that last 42 years. And if you cast your mind back to my post about Uranus, you’ll remember that this crazy-ass event occurs on Uranus as well.
Ariel in greyscale as imaged by Voyager 2 in 1986. Processed by Kevin M. Gill, taken from data by NASA/JPL-Caltech
Miranda:
Before you ask, no, Uranus does not have any more moons with names of characters from Sex in the City. Fans of Carrie, Charlotte, and Samantha will survive, unlike Mr. Big. Ouch. The real origin of the name comes from Prospero’s daughter, Miranda, from The Tempest, by every English teacher’s favourite cult hero, William Shakespeare.
Miranda is the fifth-largest of Uranus’ moons, but also the smallest and innermost of the moons. Relatively speaking, Miranda was discovered quite recently in 1948, by Gerard Kuiper. It had the designation of Uranus V before it was given the name, Miranda.
This moon is only 470 km in diameter, which is one-seventh the size of our Moon. Miranda’s total surface area is about equal to that of the U.S. state of Texas. Miranda is tidally locked, just like Ariel, as well as sharing the extreme seasonal cycles.
Miranda’s surface is a collection of valleys, grooves, fault scarps, and cratered highlands, but it also has terrain that could be less than 100 million years old. This suggests that the moon may still be geologically active.
Uranus’ icy moon Miranda, captured by NASA’s Voyager 2 spacecraft on Jan. 24, 1986. Credit: NASA/Jet Propulsion Laboratory-Caltech
Puck:
Our last stop for today is at Puck. Not named after Wolverine’s friend in Alpha Flight, but rather the spite in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, written by…and all together now, William Shakespeare! 10 points to Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff represent!
Puck is the sixth-largest of Uranus’ moons, but only has a diameter of 162 km. This strange moon was discovered by images taken by the Voyager 2 spacecraft, and Stephen P. Synnott, an astronomer and Voyager scientist at JPL, in 1985.
Puck’s orbit sits between the rings of Uranus and Miranda, the first of the planet’s large moons. It orbits Uranus in less than one Earth day and has a dark, heavily cratered surface with spectral signs of water ice.
One extra interesting thing about Puck is that the moon has three craters named Bogle, Butz, and Lob, which are named after misbehaving spirits from Scottish, German, and British folklore and legends.
Image taken from Voyager 2/NASA on 24 January 1986 of the Uranian moon Puck.
There are 22 other moons to discuss, but alas, my hourly rate of $0.00 has come to an end today. What’s your favourite moon of Uranus? As always, please let me know.
Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. I’m still on Twitter and Mastodon, trying to bore people with useless facts.
Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, watch out for Lauren Boebert’s underwater alien bases and hybrids, and I’ll see you next week.
1 Yes, it’s true that Mercury and Venus do not have any moons, but what I said still counts.
So…did anything interesting happen during the week? Well, the All Blacks defeated Ireland 23-13 in Dublin, the Wellington Phoenix smashed Central Coast Mariners 3-0, Ireland’s parliament passed a motion declaring that Israel is committing genocide in Gaza, and Heretic was released.
Oh, I forgot. Everybody’s favourite ex-McDonalds worker and star of Home Alone 2 was elected President of the United States of America. Again. The way I understand it, the Republican Party will control the White House and the US Senate in 2025, and is currently very close to taking control of the US House of Representatives as well.
I heard that during the election, someone had posted that waiting for the election results was like the country was waiting on the results of an STI test. It doesn’t matter now though, because they have hooked up their with ex for another four years.
The pointless aim of this blog post is not to analyse and reflect on Donald Trump’s victory or Kamala Harris’ defeat. It’s not about explaining the rejection of the Democrats’ policies from the majority of the United States, or the new embrace of the MAGA movement. If you want that, there are already hundreds of articles, opinion pieces, and panels discussing those issues.
Compared to those professionals, I’m a nobody, with a rugby obsession and a Sour Cream and Chives-hating disorder.
.The point is that it happened, and we need to accept these awkward and brutal truths:
Donald Trump won the election and will become the 47th President of the United States of America, and the potential leader of the free world.
The Republican Party will control the Senate, and with all likelihood, the House as well.
Elon Musk, the richest person on the planet, will probably be involved in Trump’s administration, in some capacity.
For some people, this is great news, it’s what they wanted. For others, it’s not. They are working their way through the five stages of grief, and sadly, it can’t be stopped. You need to understand that nothing you do or say, can alter these facts. It’s inevitable as the Joker escaping from Arkham Asylum, or as Appa saving Team Avatar.
I’m sure any Vulcan would agree with me on this, but I find it fascinating that the Republican Party, which is all about personal freedoms and keeping the government out of people’s personal lives, will be the party that will be stripping and removing freedoms from people, because of this election result.
You can yell and scream at the insanity of it all, but this is democracy at work. I should know, because we elected Trump Lite, in the form of Prime Minister Luxon last year. Seriously, I get it. New Zealand is already fighting culture wars that the United States had started, which our government is actively promoting and fuelling.
No, the point of this blog post is to lament about what happens next, because my geeky arse is worried.
Before I go on, I feel I need to bring up a very important question:
I’m not a US citizen, so why should I care about what happens?
It’s easy because there are two answers. The first is that, and I’ve said this before, the United States exports ideas, whether they are positive and constructive or negative and destructive.
Secondly, I’m a member of the Homo sapiens species, so I care. Even though I’m at the bottom of the South Pacific, their decisions are going to affect me and my family, but also millions of families around the planet.
I’m not an expert on US politics, Project 2025, or culture wars, because if I was, I would be a lot smarter and have a cooler job. However, as I understand it, and I could be wrong here, if Republicans and conservatives control the White House, the Senate, and the House, along with the majority of Governors and members of the Supreme Court, it seems to me that Trump will be unrestrained when he is unleased upon the country and the world, with no adult supervision, because it’s all been removed.
I worry about the damage Trump and the Republicans are going to do to the United States and the world, regardless of the amount of support they have. My concerns are and not limited to:
United States of America:
The deportation of millions of people will cripple families, the immigration and justice systems, and the economy.
The cost of new tariffs will be passed onto the public.
The unlawful prosecution of political opponents and rivals.
The rise of science scepticism and the fall of science literacy.
The Supreme Court has given Trump the green light to do whatever he wants as President.
Reporters and journalists will be arrested for writing and publishing real facts or anti-government information.
Far-right and hate groups like Neo-Nazis, the Ku Klux Klan, and Proud Boys will be empowered.
Hate crimes towards the LGBTQIA+ community, immigrants, non-whites, Muslims, and Jews will only increase.
The unemployment rate will increase.
New local, state, and federal laws will target minorities.
Book banning and censorship will continue to increase.
Average American temperatures will only increase.
Gay and lesbian marriages could be banned.
Violent conservatives and MAGA supporters could be immune from prosecution, or pardoned.
Sexist, racist and bigoted views will become more mainstream and acceptable.
Unqualified and unsuited people will be placed in government departments.
Government oversight will decrease, as will government corruption increase.
US history could be reinterpreted to reflect a more conservative perspective.
Legal and illegal immigrants will be deemed eternal pariahs, as they will be promoted as the root cause of the country’s problems.
More pro-gun legislation will be passed, along with school and town shootings increasing.
More anti-birth control and anti-abortion legislation will be passed.
Suicide rates among youth will increase, while funding for support and outreach groups will decrease.
More tax cuts to the elite and mega-wealthy.
IVF treatment will be banned at the state and federal levels.
Government agencies will be given more power to micro-manage people’s lives.
Voter suppression will continue across the country.
The levels of misinformation and disinformation will blanket the country.
People will be encouraged to be loyal to Trump and the party and not the country.
All forms of gender affirmation will be heavily under threat if not completely banned.
The US Constitution will be amended to reflect a more conservative perspective.
The rise of evangelical Christianity, by treating Trump as the Lord’s one true voice in America.
The demonisation of followers of Islam, Judaism, and other non-Christian religions will increase.
Vaccines for childhood illnesses like polio and measles will be discouraged.
Production and use of fossil fuels will increase, while green and renewal energy funding will be slashed.
Emergency funding and relief aid for disaster victims will only be administered to counties and states, that voted for the federal government.
The military will start a new nuclear arms race.
More civil rights will be removed, to promote the “us vs them” mentality.
Equality and diversity will be seen as un-American.
The World:
The United States will leave NATO.
The United States will withdraw from any international treaty or contract, about reducing greenhouse gas emissions.
The United States will reduce funding to the United Nations.
American weapons exports will increase to authoritarian countries and governments.
Aid, resources and money sent to Ukraine will be cut, allowing Russia to annex and eventually conquer Ukraine.
Weapons sales to Israel will increase, ensuring Gaza and the West Bank will be annexed, along with the Palestinian people being annihilated.
Immigration rates around the world will be reduced.
The prosecution of the LGBTQIA+ community will increase worldwide.
American airstrikes against poor and vulnerable communities and countries will increase.
The United States will reduce international aid to developing and third-world countries.
The United States will leave WHO.
The International Court of Justice may not be recognised by the United States.
Stock markets and international currencies are going to jump around.
International trade deals will heavily favour the United States.
Tensions between the United States, North Korea, China, and Iran will only increase.
There’s plenty more I could list in these two groups, but I want to discuss something positive with you before I go.
Like I said before, Trump’s return to the White House could be a wet dream for millions of people around the world, but for others, it’s a nightmare. This can look and sound quite bleak, and to be honest, it’ll probably get a lot worse before it ever gets better.
But this is the point; you’re not alone. The fear and anxiety that you’re feeling, is shared with millions of people across the United States and around the world. You’re really not alone, I promise you.
When Trump takes the Oath of Office as the 47th President, the Earth will continue to rotate, the Moon will keep travelling around the Earth, and the Earth will keep orbiting the Sun. The universe will continue to function, regardless of whether a convicted felony is governing a country or not. The universe won’t care, and that’s ok.
But do you know what is ok? Your ability to feel hope and anger. Hope gets us out of bed in the morning. Hope allows us to love our families and accept love ourselves. Hope can transform us, and empower us to become better people.
But your anger…your anger is a gift. Your anger can move mountains and change the world. Anger allows you to see the lines in the sand that companies and governments cross. Whether it’s at your local level, national, or international, your anger is a gift that you can use to bring about positive change and social reforms. Depending on where you live, the next four years are going to be tough; some more than others.
Get angry at the problems facing your region, country and the world. Get angry at the corruption and injustices, because they’ve been here for some time, and there’s more to come. Talk to your mayor, your council, your local politician and religious leaders, and get them to act.
Don’t sit down and dismiss problems because they’re not your concern or they’re too massive; you need to fight. Non-violent civil disobedience to be precise. I mean, ask the British Empire or Mahatma Gandhi if that works.
The world can’t fix itself, so use your rage and anger to help. You’re not alone, I promise.
Just one more thing to remember is that any law is temporary. It’s not forever, because governments rise and fall, and depending on who is holding the pen, they get to write the laws or rewrite them. Oppressive policies and laws are not forever, they are just temporary. And we win, by surviving and demanding better from all of our leaders.
Thanks again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, wear socks to bed, and I’ll see you next week because the worst tour in the Solar System is back! Take care and look after yourselves.
SOME GEEK TOLD ME 
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