I want to talk about scientists. Why? I love science and scientists, I truly do. They are amazing people, working throughout history; across various backgrounds, to help lift humanity up to understand ourselves and the environment we live in.

They have been unravelling the secrets of the cosmos, developing vaccines, creating Salt and Vinegar chips, identifying new elements and particles; as well as finding new breakthroughs in surgery, meteorology, psychology, sociology, anthropology, and many others.

As a global society, we can never repay them for the discoveries and inventions that they have given us. I’m in awe of them, and I wish I could be one, but I’m too…. wait, where was I? Oh right, Scientists!

Of all of the wonderful skills these fantastic people have, naming things is not a strong suit for some scientists. To be honest, it’s a bit problematic, to say the least.

This of course brings us to the crux of today’s blog. When it comes to naming organisms, some scientists blatantly don’t work in marketing or public relations departments; because if they did, some of their choices would never have seen the light of our nearest star.

Below is a list of animals, that have been named incorrectly. I’ve decided in my infinite wisdom, to only list ocean creatures to begin with. Many other animals can make different lists, but I need to pace myself. I mean, Rome wasn’t sacked once, was it? Simultaneously, the Gauls, Visigoths, Vandals, Ostrogoths, Normans, and soldiers of the Holy Roman Empire, are jumping up and down with their hands in the air, because they know the answer.

To make this list, an aquatic animal must have been given a name, or at least known as something, that it actually isn’t. As I said before, these animals have the wrong names. I’ll illustrate this by underlining the incorrect name because I’m tech-savvy. Also, they’re in alphabetic order because I obviously like to live dangerously.

I do need to point out some examples of aquatic lifeforms like whale sharks or lionfish, won’t make the list. This is because they’re named after what they actually are: a whale shark is still a shark, and a lionfish is still a fish. You’ll see what I mean, trust me.

Also, I’m not a biologist, so if I have given an animal the wrong classification, I’m sorry. This blog is not my day job. Not yet, anyway.

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Electric Eel: Electric eels are not true eels, but rather a type of knifefish.

Horseshoe Crab: Not a crab, because they don’t meet the characteristics of being a crab. Horseshoe crabs are actually members of the Chelicerates, and they are closely related to arachnids, but they are still not crabs.

Jellyfish: Jellyfish or jellies, are not fish, because they don’t meet the characteristics of being a fish. They are actually Cnidarians, because they belong to the phylum (division of classification) of Cnidaria.

Killer Whale: While still being an aquatic mammal, Killer Whales are not technically whales, but rather the largest species of dolphins. Their real name is Orcas.

Mantis Shrimp: Believe it or not, but the mantis shrimp is not a mantis, nor a shrimp. They actually belong to a group of crustaceans known as Stomatopoda. Also don’t ever get into a boxing match with a mantis shrimp, because you’ll lose.

Sea Angel: Sea Angels are definitely not angels, but rather a type of sea slug. Sorry, not sorry.

Sea Cucumber: I know it looks like a cucumber, but it really isn’t. They are not a vegetable, because this animal is a type of Echinoderm.

Seadragon: Say this with me, “A Seadragon is not a dragon.” They are actually closely related to seahorses, but still technically a fish, and not a dragon.

Seahorse: You already know what I’m going to say, don’t you? “How in the nine levels of Dante’s Hell, is a seahorse actually a horse?” Easy, it’s not. Yes, they look like a horse, in a distorted kind of way, but they’re still not a horse. Just like seadragons, they are a type of fish.

Sea Lion: Are birds a special group of animals descended from dinosaurs? Yes, yes they are. Are sea lions a special group of lions? No, no they’re not. Sea lions are a type of seal, and they’re called sea lions because some adult males have thick fur around their necks; just like a lion’s mane.

Sea Nettle: Sea nettles are closely related to jellyfish because they share the same genus of classification, Chrysaora. Also, they aren’t any type of nettle. Obviously.

Sea Pen: Yes, they may have the long, cylindrical shape of a pen or quill; but I promise you they are not pens. You can’t write with them! Sea pens are actually closely related to jellyfish, so they belong to the Cnidarians.

Sea Spider: Sea spiders are odd because they look like spiders, but they’re not. However, they are distantly related to spiders though. Sea spiders are actually a type of marine arthropod.

Starfish: Starfish do live in the ocean, but that doesn’t make them fish. They are more closely related to sea cucumbers, which makes them a type of Echinoderm. They do look pretty cool, don’t they?

Vampire Squid: When discussing vampire squids, you need to remember two things. The first thing is that vampire squids are not vampires. Yes, they live in the dark, from depths of 600 to 900 metres, but they don’t suck the blood of their victims. Because of their habitat, their diet consists of marine snow or organic rain, which is dead animal material.

Secondly, although still a cephalopod, the vampire squid is not a squid. They are their own special group of animals, but vampire squids are more closely related to octopuses than squids.

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Were any names of these animals a surprise to you? Did I miss any aquatic misnamed animals? Please let me know.

And that concludes another blog for another week. That’s one small blog for a man, but a giant blog for geek kind. Next week, I’ll be looking at the 2023 San Diego Comic-Con and the different upcoming releases that I found to be interesting. This is well within my wheelhouse, because…you know, I am a geek. Now and forever.

Thanks once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. And just like last week, don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, go watch some FIFA Women’s World Cup football, and I’ll see you next week.

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