What’s 9.5 years between friends?

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn People

I want to talk about 9.5 years. Why? This is the age gap between my wife and myself. Now I’m sure you have heard of the phrases, “Age is just a number” or “You are only as old as you feel.” To me, it’s a way for an older person to be in a relationship with an much younger person, like Arwen and Aragorn.

So let’s put my marriage under the microscope and explain what’s like to be married to someone 9.5 years younger than myself. Let’s begin with some positive things, shall we?

It’s great when I hear something first or second hand, when someone assumes I’m the same age as my wife. Externally I would smile and politely correct the assumption. However internally, I’m fist pumping myself and doing my happy geek dance. It’s one of these times where I’m glad someone gets something wrong about me, and it’s awesome!

Though with my wife, it’s a little bit different because I spend a lot of the time just trying to impress her. Being 9.5 years older than her, can come in extremely handy, when discussing historical events; whether it’s politics, sports, or some type of geek reference.

My wife will ask me a random question and if I can actually answer it; it’s because of two reasons: I’m old enough to have remembered it actually happening, or I’m old enough to have read about it. I can suddenly impress her with my vast knowledge of things that don’t actually mean anything or matter in any way.

So you might be thinking about the many advantages I have. Yes, that’s true, you could be thinking that, but there is the other side of the coin. For every positive, there is a negative; for every bag of Salt and Vinegar chips, there is a bag of Sour Cream and Chives.

Image by lecreusois from Pixabay

Take music for example. I might be listening to a song, and for whatever reason, it’s the first time I’ve heard it, or it could be a song, I’ve just started to take notice of. I’ll tell my wife about this new song, and ask if she has heard it.

My wife will then explain that said song, has been out for 5 or 10 years! She’ll follow this up with a remark about how I only listened to music until 2000, so anything past that, and I have no knowledge of it. I laugh it off, but sometimes I worry she could actually be correct. It’s about as scary as discovering that Hannibal Lecter is your Tinder date.

Another thing that shows the age gap are computers and social media. My wife will be laughing at a meme, and I’ll make the mistake of asking about what’s funny. She will slowly turn and show me the meme, laughing her head off as she does it.

Of course I’m staring at it, with a big dumb look at my face; in which in turn, I have to confess that I don’t get it. My wife will then explain why the meme is funny, then continue to laugh about how funny the meme is, but also about how old I am because I didn’t understand it.

An extension of this is the Floss dance, also known as Flossing. Whenever the discussion of Flossing comes up my wife or boys, I will start Flossing, whether it’s at the supermarket, or the kitchen, or waiting in a line.

My wife will be extremely quick to point out, that every time that I Floss, it’s wrong. She would then demonstrate the correct way to do it. My automatic response to this, “Well, isn’t that exactly what I just did?” Trust me, it never is. She will then proceed to teach me again, on how to Floss. I like my way better because I can actually do it.

Asking my wife to explain a treading acronym I have never heard of, is sometimes humiliating as in, “Why are you asking me that? Have you only just discovered that word?” Yes, yes I have. The word has been travelling backwards through time, and it’s only just reached me now! Obviously I’m not cool enough to know the word or use it.

Because we grew up in different decades, and in different parts of the country, we often discuss what movies, tv shows, or books, we had growing up. Sometimes I’ll mention something, only to learn that she’s never seen, read, or heard about it before. In contrast, she would name some tv shows that she watched as a kid that I had heard of, but never had watched, because I was too old for them. Good times.

I think it all balances out somehow, because we’ll probably at the same maturity level. Anyway, life is certainly interesting because of the age difference; but also it gives UMC1 and UMC2, material to make fun of how old their Dad is.

Thanks for reading, stay safe and I’ll see you next week.