I want to talk about fashion. Why? Well, as crazy as this sounds, but blogs about fashion seem to be quite popular. Who would have thought it? Not me, obviously. This led me to sit inside my head, where I came to the realisation that I had never written a fashion blog before.
I have to admit that fashion is well outside my comfort zone of things to discuss. However, I’m into fashion; I mean I do wear clothes. So just like Theseus followed the ball of string to his goal, I followed the ill-conceived logic from I’m someone that wears clothes, to writing a blog, not just about fashion; but geek fashion.
I have consulted the entire staff of Some Geek Told Me, and nobody; not a single staff member said to me, “Scott, that is a terrible idea.” Because those words have not been spoken to me over this topic, may I present for your reading pleasure: Geek Fashion: Shoes Edition.
BTW, I don’t own the shoes below, but I wish I did. I don’t have street cred to wear them.
Shoes for a Geek
Jandals
Let’s start with my dependable black and green jandals. The brand name is Beach Works, though the soles are getting obliterated, just like Alderaan; although millions of voices have not suddenly cried out in terror, as I have worn them. However people may be frightened of my horrific tan line, located around my ankles.
I think I’ve had them 4 years, so they’re holding up quite well. Notice the indents from my heels and toes; the word from Milan is that this style is called Vagabondo da spiaggia, or so I’ve been told by fans nowhere.
These jandals allow me the freedom to walk on the beach; and walk about during Summer. And just to prove just how sick these bad boys can be, I don’t even wear socks with them. Believe it.
Gumboots
What would a shoe collection belonging to a geek be, without some arse-kicking gumboots? Like any other geek, I wear my gumboots for mowing the lawn, and anything else I feel like.
Need to go to the supermarket? Wear gumboots. Need to go to the hardware store? Wear gumboots. Need to pick your child up from school? Wear gumboots. Need to go running? Don’t wear gumboots, that’s just stupid.
I wear my old, paint smeared, black and blue gumboots around town, to give the illusion that I’m a man of action. In reality, I’m at home wearing my gumboots and staring at the mailbox, wishing the latest manga would appear in it. I heard the look is called Le faux, in Paris, because I’m an early adopter.
Social
There are times when a geek needs to interact with other geeks in person, or maybe meet non-geeks in a social setting. Because of this, I have my social/casual shoes. These black and white carnage creators, allow me to blend into parties, bars, baby showers, and anything else.
Sadly, these shoes do come with two forms of kryptonite. The first is that, the shoe laces are long. When I mean long, I mean as long as Plastic Man can stretch his face.
To counter act this flaw, I have to tie my shoe laces; not once, not twice, but triple knot them. Seriously, I have to tie them into triple knots, because I am that cool. Oh, as for the second problem, because of the insane length of the shoe laces, I can only wear these shoes with jeans.
The utterly mental reason why this has to happen, is so I can cover the cuff over the shoe, to hide the remaining shoe laces. It’s hilarious when I’m drunk, and I’ve stepped on the laces. It means I have to re-knot them; drunk. It never goes well.
Work
This brings us to the masterpieces of my shoe collection, my work shoes. I need to quickly point out that the Nike shoes, are recently demoted running shoes, but they fit perfectly with the style of No Grip.
The provocative new style of No Grip, allows the user to wear shoes, that have no tread on the sole; ie no grip. These shoes are great on liquid surfaces, because one second you are vertical, the next you are horizontal on the floor.
No Grip is sweeping the world, because people need to actually sweep people off the floor. You’re find yourself performing feats of athleticism, you never could imagine; especially in front of your co-workers. It’s great.
Thanks for letting me discuss my fashion experience with shoes. Stay safe and I’ll see you next week.
SOME GEEK TOLD ME 
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