I’ve been saving this blog post for some time, for obvious reasons. I mean, why discuss Christmas in March or September? Even for me, that’s a little strange. No offence to Emily and Stephen.1
Christmas is just around the corner, and from an advertising standpoint, it has been present since late September or early October. Whether through cards, literature, songs, movies, or posters, we have all been exposed to the essence of Christmas—the birth of Jesus Christ, among other themes.
Other themes include snow, fireplaces, eggnog, snowmen, ice skating, jackets, jerseys, snow, snow, and more snow. I know this because different mediums have explained this to us for years.
Bing Crosby had a massive hit with White Christmas, Charles Dickens succeeded with A Christmas Carol, and Die Hard 2, Home Alone, and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, showcase snow-related Christmas violence. These works of pop culture, and many more, have helped to reinforce the notion that Christmas is an event that involves snow—or at the very least, happens in Winter.
We sing songs about dashing through the snow, display pictures of snowmen on windows, and dream about having the perfect Christmas Day experience by having it snow. It’s great and it sounds like a lot of fun. It does. We are told that this is the most superior Christmas experience on the planet, and it’s what everybody strives for and wishes for.
If you’re a follower of this wayward blog, you will realise that something is coming; and you would be correct. I don’t have a problem with a white Christmas. I lived in London for three years and the closest I got to that was a white Boxing Day. I loved it, and I enjoyed the experience of being cold on Christmas Day.
I do have a small issue with how Christmas is portrayed in the media though, specifically as a Winter holiday. It seems to be presented as the only version. The truth is, and this might frustrate Flat Earthers, that the Earth’s axis is tilted at an angle of 23.45° relative to its orbit. This tilt means that countries in the Northern Hemisphere experience Christmas in Winter. If they’re fortunate, they may even have snow on Christmas Day.
The thing is that not everybody gets that, and it’s not because they don’t want it. It’s because they can’t have it, since countries in the Southern Hemisphere will experience Christmas in Summer. Like myself in New Zealand.
Christmas here involves shorts, jandals, t-shirts, sand, barbeques, cricket, sunglasses, sunscreen, and pavlovas. That being the case, it can be difficult sometimes to take media seriously when you see children having snowball fights at Christmas in a movie, when your Christmas Day is 25°C in the shade.
Stuff like that I find hilarious, however, what really twists my undies is not Christmas media from the United States or the United Kingdom, or any other Northern Hemisphere country promoting white Christmases. I understand that and accept it.
No, to my eternal dismay and horror, the biggest promoters of a white Christmas to New Zealanders, are other New Zealanders. I would love to joke about this, but I’m not. In a Southern Hemisphere country, which means we have Christmas in Summer, what do other New Zealanders do? You’re smart, so I know you’ll get it.
Yes, businesses dealing with customer services, whether they are hairdressers, clothing stores, or supermarkets, decorate their businesses with snowflakes and snowmen. It could be on their windows, website, or hanging from the ceiling, but they are covered in Winter-related paraphernalia. Why do you have Frosty the Snowman in your window? It’s 32°C outside!
Not that I’m huge into Christmas decorations, except for the tree and wreath, but I often think about how having more accurate decorations would be better. Sorry, I’m a geek that judges, but I’m trying really hard not to do it!
Seeing Santa Claus wearing shorts and sunglasses, Rudolph playing cricket, kiwis wearing Santa hats, or a sandman at the beach, are more apt for us. Do we complain about it? No, not really. Who’s going to listen to us anyway?
I would love for us to stop looking as intelligent as the Coyote, after his new ACME product has failed, yet again. I love my quirky country, I just wish we could stop trying to be like our Northern cousins and just be the best vowel-slaughtering version of ourselves.
That was a weird one, so I hope somebody might relate to it, though my blogs can be off-centre sometimes.
Since Wednesday is Christmas Day, I’ll put up another blog post, but it will be shorter…..because I’m on holiday. Yay!!! This means I’ll be having my Christmas break, which will be for two weeks.
Thank you once again for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, go watch Merry Little Batman and the Superman teaser trailer, and I’ll see you on Christmas Day.
1 Bonus geek points for understanding those two references.
SOME GEEK TOLD ME 
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