I want to talk about jobs today, but before I get into my rant, how is everybody doing? I think there’s a polite answer, and there’s an honest answer, with the truth lying somewhere in the middle. Whatever the case, I hope you’re doing well.

Because you’re attentive readers, you would have noticed the title of today’s blog post. Jobs can be important for multiple reasons. They can provide you with money, so you can continue living and existing by paying for the rent and mortgage or buying food, clothes, Salt and Vinegar chips and anything else you have set your heart on.

Jobs can also give you stability, purpose, direction, status, and experience, and for many people, a job is a lifeline. It could be the only thing keeping someone’s head above the water because jobs and life are tough.

The quantity of money you receive is subjective because the same wage or salary could be a godsend to one person, while it could be a bane for someone else.

It’s also true about the quality of the job, which is subjective. A particular job could be a nightmare for one person, while being a dream job for someone else. Of course, some people are just trying to get by, and a job is simply a job.

I suppose there is the trap that you are defined as your job, and that’s how you are known to the world. You’re a nurse, musician, painter, road worker, or a builder, so that’s what your identity is versus whether you’re a good or happy person.

I believe if you’re lucky enough, you can find a job that pays well and makes you happy. But there is a tiny flaw in that plan; you need to be qualified, or at the very least, actually good at it. This painfully long introduction finally brings us to the point of this rant.

This is the first volume of a series detailing three jobs each time that I believe, I would suck at. Whether I describe myself at being terrible, horrible, ill-suited, unqualified, or just wrong, these jobs would not be for me. I would suck at them.

I’m going to add a disclaimer here before I continue. Any job that makes this list does not by definition, make it terrible. Your job may appear here today or at a later date, and that’s fine for you because I’m not saying your job sucks. I’m just saying your job would suck for me because of several reasons.

Sweet as? Cool bananas and away we go!

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Real Estate Agent

This job is one of the easiest to explain why I would be terrible at. I’m awful at making small talk, let alone having and creating a salesperson personality. I’m such a bad salesperson, I wouldn’t be able to sell lifejackets to the Navy. I would probably end up buying merchandise from them instead.

I once had a job as a street talker, and it lasted one day. Even though it was for a charity, I couldn’t approach people on the street and convince them to sign up for monthly donations. I was awful.

So the concept of me trying to convince people to buy a big-ticket item like a house seems ludicrous, because as I would be showing off the house’s advantages, I would also be discussing the disadvantages.

I wouldn’t be able to lie because it would weigh on me too much. Also, I would be too honest and suggest the house would not suit the potential owners, coupled with the fact that I’m sure I would not be meeting my monthly quota of sales. I would give my sales manager daily headaches.

These factors would completely condemn me in this profession. I can’t stress enough on how greatly I would suck as a real estate agent. I would be terrible.

Receptionist

Receptionists always seem to have a friendly, positive and calm demeanour, which is quite impressive. Put me in that job, and you would get the opposite. Scheduling appointments, answering the phone, dealing with angry customers, and all with a smile on my face? Forget it.

After dealing with the phone ringing every three minutes, I can only imagine I would be answering the calls by saying, “Please stop ringing! I’m trying to eat my lunch!” It would also mean my small talk would include discussing a new movie trailer, asking what that smell was, and laughing at Trump’s new criminal charges.

I would transfer calls to the wrong department, schedule a booking on the wrong day, accidentally cut the call off, and also sound like I would be much happier if I was lying on my couch reading, instead of dealing with random people.

I have so much trouble scheduling appointments for my family, talking to my wife on the phone, and dealing with my hungry and angry children because the last chocolate biscuit has been eaten, that I couldn’t possibly do it for a living.

And even if I could handle those things, I would have to play host to people entering the workplace. I’d have to offer tea, coffee, and whatnot. I’m a terrible host. I would eat all of the biscuits and stuff the orders up. Besides, who in their right mind would want me?

Even if the job was at a book shop, that sold pizza and Salt and Vinegar chips, I would glare at everybody that walked in, because they would be giving me more work to do. I wouldn’t be able to hide the disappointment on my face.

I would suck at being a receptionist.

My wife’s job

The grass is always greener on the other side, isn’t it? Take my wife and I, because we often talk about swapping roles. She would like to get back to paid employment by working at a full-time job and being the primary breadwinner.

As for me, I think it would be great to leave the paid 40-50 hour work week behind and concentrate on the house and family.

However, the reality of it is far scarier. For one thing, I enjoy cooking and making food for my family, whether breakfast, lunch or dinner. The sad part is that my recipe skills are limited since I can only make a few meals in several different ways.

If I had my wife’s job, I would need to improve my cooking skills to accommodate my family’s dietary restrictions and allergies. I would also have to introduce new foods to UMC1 and UMC2. I wouldn’t be able to rely on weekend cooking anymore; I would have to cook like Julia Child to satisfy and nourish my family.

I’m a chicken/fish and three vegetables man, so I would have to learn how to make new meals that everybody could eat. All of my time would be taken up with thinking, “Can I add tomato sauce to this?” I doubt anybody would want the same dinner five times each week.

It would also mean that I would have to design and build, all of my children’s wild and creative ideas, using limited resources and money. This would involve being able to papier-mâché, but also painting, cutting, drawing, sewing, designing and building various things.

I would be left floundering to understand and follow different recipes, as well as trying to figure out how to make a papier-mâché helmet or functioning catapults. If my wife and I had both started projects at the same time, based on ideas from UMC1 and UMC2, she would have finished three weeks before me, because I would still be in the planning stage.

If my wife’s amazing creative skills were compared to the Joker, mine would be Condiment King. If you haven’t heard of Condiment King, I rest my case.

Are there any jobs you feel you would be terrible at? As always, please let me know. Alright, that’s another pointless rant for another week, but before I go, I’d like to mention that today marks the first anniversary of the Israel–Hamas war.

This conflict and the media seem to have created a narrative where if you support Israel, that means you’re anti-Islamic. If you support Palestine, that means you’re anti-Semitic. People are calling for the destruction of Israel, while others want Palestine’s annihilation.

You can debate the moral, political, and ethical reasons behind this war, but Hamas were wrong to attack Israel on 7th October 2024. However, Israel’s response was also wrong. For me, there needs to be more people calling for a cease-fire, because over 16,000 children have been killed.

Martyrs are becoming made on both sides through this endless cycle of violence, which just fuels it for the next time. Nobody can honestly say to me, that to have security for either side, over 16,000 children needed to die because I would call you a liar.

Here’s hoping on 7th October 2025, we will be talking about peace accords, the rebuilding of Palestine and the real options working towards the Two State solution, and not another year of dead hostages and children.

Thanks for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Please remember to walk your dog, read a banned book, eat some bananas, and I’ll see you next week.

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