The Multi-millionaire who could not afford an umbrella

On By somegeektoldme@gmail.comIn People, Politics

Being a parent means that if a child in your house starts coughing and sneezing, the odds of you starting to cough and sneeze are the equivalent of The Thing winning a fight against the Yancy St Gang; it’s always going to happen.

The doctor said I have a mild dose of man flu, if a mild dose of the virus even exists. Suffice it to say, this is a strange rant today, folks, so I’m sorry about that.

In the time allotted today, I want to talk to you about the 4th July 2024. My subscribers in the United States might think I’m discussing their Independence Day, which celebrates their Declaration of Independence from the United Kingdom. This declaration was ratified on 4th July 1776, and it became well-known around the world, even in little old New Zealand.

But, it’s the 4th July 2024 that I want to discuss, although the United Kingdom is still involved. On 22nd May 2024, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Rishi Sunak announced that the next UK General Election would be held on 4th July 2024, which is about six weeks away.

Some keen followers of Some Geek Told Me, may have noticed that some of the news or information that I write about, involves the UK. The obvious reason is no, I’m not an agent of SPECTRE, so I’m not trying to take down the country. I think they are doing that all by themselves.

The truth is that I lived in the United Kingdom for three years, so I have a soft place in my cold heart for the British people. Which brings me back to Rishi Sunak. Now, before I go on, let’s establish something:

  • I’m not going to discuss the motivations for Sunak and the Conservative Party for bringing forth this general election early.
  • I’m not going to talk about how after 14 years in power, the Tories have brought the NHS and the country to its knees.
  • I’m certainly not going to mention the greatest political version of self-harm, which is the apocalypse known as Brexit.
  • I’m not going to mention the recent UK local government elections, where the Tories were the victims of a humiliating defeat, on par with the Battle of Isandlwana or Newcastle losing 8-0 to the A-League Men All-Stars.
  • And I promise you, I am not going to discuss the Tories’ opening policies on the campaign trail, by bringing back national service for 18-year-olds.

I would never bring up or mention any of these things, I’m not that type of person.

CREDIT: James Veysey/Shutterstock

However, what I am going to discuss is Rishi Sunak’s announcement of the general election, because it was like a broken-down AI had written a movie script, where chimpanzees were the actors. No, that’s wrong of me, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have dragged chimpanzees into this, because chimpanzees would have done a better job.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, oh, you’re in for a treat. Picture this, the Prime Minister of the sixth largest economy in the world, and the second largest economy in Europe, walked outside his residence at 10 Downing Street, and discussed the general election. It sounds like a standard boring press briefing, am I right?

Now hold that image, because we have to add some beautiful details. The first point is that Sunak was talking at a single wooden podium. No other person is there supporting him, by standing next to or behind him. It’s just the Prime Minister, standing outside his house, at a podium. That’s it.

The second point was that it was raining. Seriously, it was raining. Sunak was standing at the podium talking while wearing a very nice suit and getting drenched. To make it clear, Sunak wasn’t wearing a coat or jacket; he was wearing a suit.

This also means nobody is standing next to Sunak, holding an umbrella to protect him. Sunak is one of, if not the wealthiest Prime Minister the United Kingdom has ever had. With the combined wealth of his wife, Sunak is estimated to be worth about £651 million, which I now understand, means he’s richer than King Charles III.

But despite being worth about £651 million, Rishi Sunak could not afford an umbrella or a jacket. I didn’t realise that British inflation was that bad, that even multi-millionaires couldn’t afford those items. Damn, and here I thought the inflation in New Zealand was dire.

To make this scene even more bizarre and farcical, only about three years ago, the UK government had spent around £2.6m refurbishing 9 Downing Street as a media centre, to equal White House briefings.

The implications of this mean, that even though the Tories had a £2.6m refurbished media centre next door; where it’s spacious, warm, and dry, they still held the general election announcement outside 10 Downing Street. In the rain. It’s like nobody had the original idea, that maybe, just maybe, someone should check the weather forecast, because a general election announcement is sort of a big deal, and you don’t want to stuff it up.

And to bring the Westminister Amateur Acting Guild production to a close, let’s talk about the background music. As Sunak was talking about the Tories’ small victories and discussing the general election; and please remember, he’s getting soaked by the rain, some background music was being played. And it didn’t stop.

The song “Things Can Only Get Better” was released by the band, D:Ream in 1993. It gained attention when it was used by the Labour Party in their successful general election campaign in 1997. The song was being played by Steve Bray, a political activist.

Apparently, within 24 hours of the general election announcement, the song entered the top 10 on the iTunes Charts. Being the great supporter of Tory policies that he is, physicist Brian Cox would have loved that.

For someone living on the other side of the planet, this was amazing and comical to witness. For the British public, this was an unmitigated disaster, showcasing the level of Tory efficiency. 

A British Prime Minister standing alone, outside his house in the rain, without any protection, asking the public to vote for his party; because they know what they’re doing and the public should trust them. And all to the soundtrack of a rival political party’s successful ex-campaign song. 

It would be a hilarious movie scene if it wasn’t so tragically real.

My father has said some pearls of wisdom over the years, but currently, no other statement can top this when talking about a group of disorganised people:

They couldn’t organise a piss-up at a brewery.

I can’t help but think, that the Tories are one of the greatest living examples of this. Though to be fair, the Coalition of Chaos is not that far behind them.

Here’s the video from the BBC.

And with that positive and uplifting note, I need to go to bed. Thank you for reading, following, and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me, because this project helps me to navigate this crazy world.

Please don’t forget to walk your dog, read a banned book, go and slam a revolving door, and I’ll see you next week for the return of We Didn’t Start the Fire! Can’t wait.