I want to talk about Disney Princesses. Why? The concept of a Disney Princess is an interesting one to me; I mean, what is a Disney Princess? And do I have a favourite?

To answer the second question first, I don’t have a favourite princess, because why would I? Having said that, the geek in me thinks Belle is ok. The reason being, that she reads for pleasure. She’s just like my wife, if Belle read Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey, The Hunger Games, Harry Potter, The All Souls Trilogy, or The Witcher.

To the best of my understanding, there are 12 official Disney Princesses, with one being confirmed, but not officially added. They are:

1.) Snow White (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: 1937)

2.) Cinderella (Cinderella: 1950)

3.) Aurora (Sleeping Beauty: 1959)

4.) Ariel (The Little Mermaid: 1989)

5.) Belle (Beauty and the Beast: 1991)

6.) Jasmine (Aladdin: 1992)

7.) Pocahontas (Pocahontas: 1995)

8.) Mulan (Mulan: 1998)

9.) Tiana (The Princess and the Frog: 2009)

10.) Rapunzel (Tangled: 2010)

11.) Merida (Brave: 2012)

12.) Moana (Moana: 2016)

and to be added:

13.) Raya (Raya and the Last Dragon: 2021)

So let’s answer the most pressing question, what is a Disney Princess?

That’s a difficult question, because the answer is vague; again, to the best of my understanding. I’m not a Disney Princess expert, because if I was, I would have made a job out it.

• A Disney Princess is the main female protagonist in an animated Disney/Pixar film.
• She can not be introduced in a sequel.
• A Disney Princess does not always have to be royalty; she has just to perform some heroic and brave deeds.
• Being a great singer or having an animal sidekick, are also not prerequisites to be a Disney Princess; but it does help.

Also Elsa and Anna from Frozen, are not Disney Princesses. This is because of the crazy concept, that they are too popular being the faces of the Frozen franchise. The Disney Princesses label brings in billions of dollars for the company, through different degrees of merchandise; it’s a global brand.

It’s about this time that you’ve thinking, “Ok Scott, thanks for the history lesson, but what’s your point?”

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Relax young grasshopper, this is my point. Over the years, Disney has purchased many different companies, across multimedia enterprises. Some of their many acquisitions include:

• Saban Entertainment
• The Jim Henson Company
• Pixar
• Marvel Entertainment (Marvel)
• Lucasfilm (Star Wars)
• 21st Century Fox
• Hulu

Because Disney has purchased these companies, their catalogues of characters now belong to Disney. You can probably see where I’m going with this.

Given the range of these female characters, Disney could have a completely new group of Disney Princesses, aimed for everybody; not just young girls. And all they have to do is follow this criteria:

• A Disney Princess could be any female character, that is the main or supporting protagonist in a movie or tv show, that is made by or owned by Disney.
• The medium can be live action or animated.
• An antagonist can qualify, if they go on a redemptive arc.
• Members of the LGBTIQA+ and remakes of movies/ tv shows count.
• Her martial status, as well as whether she was born in royalty is irrelevant; she just has to be heroic.

There are hundreds of possible new princesses to choose from, but I can’t list them all. Seriously, I just can’t. And with that, may I present the list of the best Alternative Disney Princesses, or ADP.

Honorary Alternative Disney Princesses

• Miss Piggy (The Muppets)
• Camilla the Chicken (The Muppets)
• Zoe (Sesame Street)
• Julia (Sesame Street)
• Abby Cadabby (Sesame Street)
• Bo Peep (Toy Story)
• Shuri (Black Panther)
• Jessie (Toy Story)
• Dory (Finding Nemo)
• Michelle “MJ” Jones-Watson (Spider-Man)
• Helen Parr (The Incredibles)
• Violet Parr (The Incredibles)
• Sadness (Inside Out)
• Joy (Inside Out)
• Disgust (Inside Out)
• Maria Hill (The Avengers)
• Kamala Khan (Ms. Marvel)
• Xu Xialing (Shang-Chi)
• Carol Danvers (Captain Marvel)
• Wanda Maximoff (The Scarlet Witch)
• Buttercup (The Princess Bride)
• Meilin “Mei” Lee (Turning Red)
• Hope van Dyne (The Wasp)
• Mantis ((Guardians of the Galaxy)
• Anastasia “Anya” Romanov (Anastasia)
• Nakia (Black Panther)
• Valkyrie (Thor)
• Yelena Belova (Black Widow)
• Hera Syndulla (Star Wars: Rebels)
• Sabine Wren (Star Wars: Rebels)
• Naru (Prey)

Arse Kicking Alternative Disney Princesses

• Leia Organa Solo (Star Wars)
• Asajj Ventress (Star Wars: The Clone Wars)
• Jean Grey (X-Men)
• Negasonic Teenage Warhead (X-Men)
• Gamora (Guardians of the Galaxy)
• Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons)
• Peggy Carter (Captain America)
• Ahsoka Tano (Star Wars: The Clone Wars)
• Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow)
• Mystique (X-Men)
• Psylocke (X-Men)
• Kitty Pryde (X-Men)
• Nebula (Guardians of the Galaxy)
• Okoye (Black Panther)
• Rogue (X-Men)
• Storm (X-Men)
• Buffy Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
• Edna Mode (The Incredibles)
• Dana Scully (The X-Files)

The Ultimate Alternative Disney Princess

• Ellen Ripley (Aliens). Basically if Ripley does not become a Disney Princess, then nobody serves that title.

Can you imagine the merchandise for these new Disney Princesses? Naru t-shirts, Sadness socks, Okoye jackets, Camilla the Chicken action figures, and Ripley backpacks? The options are endless.

Do you agree with this list? Did I leave anybody off? Who would be your favourite Alternative Disney Princess? Please let me know.

And that signals the end of another aimless rant into pop culture’s armpit. Thanks once again for reading, following and subscribing to Some Geek Told Me. Remember to walk your dog; watch a banned movie; stay away from John Wick’s dog; and I’ll see you next week.

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