I want to talk about Doctor Who, in particular, some child friendly episodes. Why? My wife and I are large fans of the Doctor, and of her enemies. We look forward to watching new episodes, so we can turn them into an event, with pop corn or chips. We love it.
So being the geeks that we are, we have various geek memorabilia, scattered around the house. A Batman lamp here; a Right Hand of Doom money box over there; a Silver Surfer framed print on one wall; with some Harry Potter Lego sitting on a bookshelf; and a life sized poster of a Dalek, outside UMC1 and UMC2’s bedroom.
The boys have no real idea about what a Dalek is, other than walking about with a washing basket over themselves, with a spatula and whisk sticking out; shouting, “I’m a Dalek! I’m a Dalek!”
We have shown them different videos of the theme song, which UMC2 calls, the Doctor Song. We have also shown them some funny scenes from the show, where the boys have thought were hilarious!
This of course has led to them campaigning to actually watch some entire episodes. Being the geeky parents that we are, we have said yes; on the condition that the episodes are child friendly.
Because of this, my wife and I have pooled our knowledge of the Doctor, and have created a list of some child friendly episodes of Doctor Who. We have tried to keep it to one incarnation of the Doctor as possible, because all of the Doctors deserve their own time in the starlight.
Flatline: Season 8, Episode 9
This episode has some truly hilarious scenes, that children would love. From what we can remember, some 2-D creatures from another dimension, have attacked the TARDIS’ outer shell, and caused it to shrink.
This results in some shenanigans with the 12th Doctor being trapped inside, and Clara carrying it around like a toy. It’s a hoot, and kids will love it.
Though to be honest, the 2-D creatures, named the Boneless, actually convert some people into 2-D, thus killing them, including a police officer. The Boneless then try and convert the Doctor, Clara and Rigsy into 2-D….so that could be a bit scary for the kids. Maybe we could pass on this one?
Partners in Crime: Season 4, Episode 1
Alright, the 10th Doctor and Donna are investigating a new weight-loss drug. The good news is that the drug reduces the user’s weight; the bad news is that the drug creates pieces of humanoid fat, that detaches itself from the user’s body.
The fat blobs are called Adipose, an alien race in their infant form. Children would love watching the Adipose walk around, with their cute little bodies, stubby legs, webbed hands, while causing trouble.
But wait a minute, there is a scene where a person is totally converted to a collection of Adipose; Matron Cofelia tries to kill 1 million British citizens, by the total conversation of Adipose; and also Matron Cofelia falls to her death, after being betrayed by the Adiposian First Family. Damn, the kids will need therapy over this, so we can’t show them this episode, either.
The Lodger: Season 5, Episode 11
Ok, let’s try 11 shall we? The 11th Doctor rents a room in a flat with Craig, and because of some time loops, he decides to investigate. This is because the Doctor suspects the cause of the time disturbances are being created by Craig’s upstairs neighbour.
Children will think it’s hilarious watching the Doctor play football for the first time, but also trying to act normal and blend into an urban British lifestyle; which he fails at. Just watching the Doctor trying not to be himself, is worth the ticket price for the kids.
By the end of the episode, a few people…have died. Oh, I forgot about that. An alien spaceship emergency holographic program, is killing people in order to find a pilot for the ship. Walking up a set of stairs in a strange house, could suddenly become nightmare fuel for children. Onto the next episode, please.
Rose: Season 1, Episode 1
I have it, the best child friendly episode is the first episode of the relaunch. The 9th Doctor meets Rose, a teenage shop assistant. Together, they uncover an Auton invasion of London. Autons look like mannequins, but they are much more than that.
The scenes of mannequins chasing people, the Doctor speed reading a book, Mickey getting kidnapped by a rubbish bin, are quite comical; however the Doctor being attacked by a plastic arm, would be great entertainment for the kids.
Hang on, the ending is brutal. The Autons open fire and kill dozens of people, while the Nestene Consciousness dies. Yet again, the day is saved, but with a large body count. I really don’t want to have to explain this to UMC1 and UMC2; next!
The Tomb of the Cybermen: Series 5, Episode 1
Let’s go back, way back to 1967 with the release of The Tomb of the Cybermen. The 2nd Doctor, along with Jamie and Victoria, travel to the planet Telos, where an expedition is taking place. It’s later revealed that the expedition has set out to find the Tomb of the Cybermen, that died out hundreds of years before.
This episode would be ideal for children, because of the futuristic music; the fact that the episode is black and white; but also that the Cybermen look hilarious and not scary at all.
Hang on, I’m forgetting something…oh, that’s it. The Cybermen murder some people, because that’s what they do. I’m starting to see a pattern here; a lot of people die in Doctor Who. Again, this is more nightmare fuel for children. Alright, I have one chance for success!
Kerblam!: Season 11, Episode 7
This is the last roll of the die for me, let’s go with the 13th Doctor; our current one. The Doctor gets a mysterious message from Kerblam, a massive galactic retailer. Once there, The Doctor, Yaz, Ryan, and Graham try and help whomever sent for help, as well as sort out the problems at Kerblam.
This episode would be great for kids. Firstly, a robot delivers a package to the Doctor, inside the TARDIS; people are playing with bubble wrap; and the robots themselves, the TeamMates and Kerblam Men, look outrageous!
The main theme for the episode…concerns a human workforce being replaced by an automated workforce. And that same workforce, is going to try and kill thousands of people with explosive bubble wrap.
Ok, I concede, I’m out. Doctor Who is very entertaining, but it can be quite intense, even for adults, let alone for children. I honestly can’t think of a single child friendly episode, that would be safe from people dying and violence. Though to be fair, I have not seen every single episode of Doctor Who; I’m not that cool.
Maybe there was a storyline or episode from the 1st Doctor, or the 4th, or even the 7th, that is actually child friendly. I can’t imagine the Master being featured in any of them, if they exist.
However, maybe you know of some child friendly episodes? If you do, please let me know, because I’m very curious. With that, I’m off to watch Superman & Lois. How good is Bizarro? Wait, that should be, how bad is Bizarro?
Stay safe, thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week.
Glory to Ukraine.
SOME GEEK TOLD ME 
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